AN: Here is Chapter 4, and it's shorter because now that my story has caught up with the show, I'm going to write as I watch. Also, sorry it's been so long, I've been busy with my new part-time to full-time teaching job as well as my personal life.
Around the time Buck finally had closure with Abby, he also learned that he was going to be an uncle, which was very exciting. However, at the exact same time, the world took a turn for crazy town once COVID-19 struck the world and other stressful things happened to almost the entire world.
Once again, as everything got better for him, things also got worse for him all over again.
As a first responder, he was a frontline worker…and so was his pregnant sister. Very often during this damn pandemic that felt like five years, he suffered from pandemic burnout by the time May of 2020 approached.
Throughout the middle of 2020, he wondered so many things. He felt like he was constantly trying to keep his head above water as he kept up with COVID news and current events despite the fact that psychologists have stated that consuming too much news, especially negative news and doom scrolling, is not good for one's mental health.
Am I going to be trapped in quarantine forever?
Oh, god! I hope Trump doesn't get reelected. I've had it with this cheeto! What if he does? I don't want my niece or nephew to be born under a Trump presidency. Ugh, COVID, wildfires, a dam break, a stressful election, and a mudslide? Fuck 2020!
How can these vloggers bake their bread and be happy during a stupid pandemic? How the fuck can they even pretend to be happy? I don't get it!
Even as a first responder himself, as well as sometimes coming into contact with people who collapsed from severe COVID symptoms, responding to them.
It almost felt like there was no light at the end of the tunnel.
Also, there were points when every member of the 118 - Bobby, Hen, Chimney, Eddie, and even Buck himself - had COVID scares. John, one of the 118 firefighters, actually tested positive for COVID.
Having Albert (Chimney until he moved back in with Maddie) live with him felt like good company, but he still often felt like he was stretched too thin. In addition, Albert was probably feeling the same way he was. He's seen articles floating around the internet about how COVID was negatively impacting the mental health of people.
By June, he reached his breaking point (also still feeling unappreciated by his parents and wanting to achieve something) to where he decided that therapy was necessary to help him cope with everything. However, he wanted to keep his therapy sessions with Dr. Copeland a secret from his friends and family and instead told them that he had a COVID date.
He later realized that saying that was probably a mistake because when everyone was dying to meet his "COVID crush", the more pressure Buck felt to finally reveal he was seeing a therapist when he wasn't ready…and he wasn't comfortable telling everyone the reasons why he was seeing a therapist.
The first reason - he desperately needed advice on how to cope with burnout and uncertainty, especially during a pandemic because he felt like his obsession with uncertainty was interfering with his work. The second reason - he really needed help on how to live his damn life and be satisfied. The third reason - advice on dealing with his parents and how he could make them proud for once that didn't involve getting himself into deep trouble.
Unfortunately, as soon as he revealed his secret to Maddie and everyone else, she told their parents that he was seeing a therapist…which further lead to him learning the terrible secret that he had a brother who died, and he was born to save him yet the attempt failed.
When Buck learned the horrible truth about the Buckley family, Buck did kind of understand why his parents never visited him when he was crushed by that fire truck...or even when Maddie was kidnapped by Doug the Douchebag. It would remind her too much of seeing her little Daniel in a hospital bed. Nevertheless, that didn't make Buck want to forgive his parents and say "we're good".
Forgiveness or letting go, depending on what choice Buck was going to make in the long term, it was going to be a long process.
What hurt him even more was that Maddie, the person who really seemed to understand him throughout his whole life and let him play with her friends during childhood and even almost raised him, kept that secret from him and even dragged Chimney into helping her do it.
When their parents came to visit that week, he refused to talk to both Maddie and his parents, and couldn't help but feel nothing but pissed at them.
He eventually used all that anger towards them while saving someone from that hand sanitizer factory fire. He didn't want to listen to anybody at that time because he was too irate to want to have a simple conversation.
Although he forgave Maddie and even decided to try and repair his relationship with his parents by inviting them to his therapy sessions, which did seem to help when Dr. Copeland encouraged the use of proper communication and listening to each other.
Thankfully, the excitement of becoming an uncle seemed to help him cope with his COVID depression and anxiety, especially as Maddie's pregnancy came closer and closer towards its end.
Then, he decided to become Buck 3.0.
Also during that time, he decided to try and start dating again, and that was when he unexpectedly crossed paths with Taylor Kelly, the reporter, again...not long after he had a failed date with that Veronica girl.
To be continued...
AN: I hope you all enjoyed this. Next chapter will deal with Buck being an uncle, Albert's accident, reconnecting with Taylor, and whatever happens during the rest of the season. Please review :)