Bartlet is speaking at a dinner in a ballroom. He stands behind the podium while important people in fancy clothes listen to him. Hanging behind him is a banner that says "Practical Idealism". Diana stands in the corner of the room, near her father, listening to his speech.
"One night he went in and set the briefcase down and said, "Bess, why do you suppose it is that only sons-of-bitches know how to lick a stamp?" The audience laughs and applause at Bartlet's joke, " The point is friends, you've got to write the letter, you've got to send a fax, you've got to pick up the phone and call Western Union. You've got to contact your Congressional representative. You've got to say "Mister, I've got a friend whose neighbor is dead. Madam, I've got a neighbor whose friend is dead, whose husband is dead, whose mother is dead, kids are dead! Kids are dead! And I wanna know, mister. I wanna know, madam how you intend to vote on Wednesday so that I'll know how to vote next election..." You gotta ask 'em. You gotta ask 'em!"
The audience applauds Bartlet before he continues with the speech, "You know, I had a civil procedure professor who said once… He said, "When the law is on your side, argue the law; and when the facts are on your side, argue the facts...When you don't have the law on your side, when you don't have the facts on your side, bang your fist on the defense table as loud as you can." Well, we've got the law on our side now, and we've got the facts on our side now bang our fist on the defense table, but we're not listening anymore. We're not having that anymore. We're gonna win on Wednesday. We're gonna win on Wednesday! Thank you all," The crowd stands up and applauds, "God bless you, and God bless America!"
Bartlet works his way out of the room with Diana following him while "Happy Days Are Here Again" plays. The staff follows as they all walk through the back hallways.
"Fantastic," Sam commented as he shook Bartlet's hand.
"Thank you," Bartlet said.
Bartlet continues down the hall with his Secret Service Agents. They go down the stairs and walked through the kitchen. Bartlet is shaking hands with someone and then joins the group. They go down the stairs again.
"Thank you. Good night," Bartlet said before saying to Toby, in front of him, "Toby!"
"Sir," Toby responded.
"What'd you think?" He asked.
"I thought my work was outstanding, Mr. President," Toby replied.
"I thought you would."
"Thanks for asking. Couldn't help but notice you got a little extemporaneous there in the D section," He mentioned.
"Oh, you noticed that, did you?" Bartlet asked.
"Yes, sir, I did," Toby answered.
"Yes. I did a little polish right up there on my feet," He said.
"Yes indeed," Toby agreed.
"Right in front of everybody. I looked to the side at one point, you know. I half expected to see you coming at me with a salad fork," Bartlet admitted as they walked through the hall.
"Well, but for the secret service agents restraining me, sir."
"Yup. Thank God for the secret service," Bartlet smiled.
"Bless their hearts…" Toby said.
Bartlet sees a couple getting friendly in the hall, "Hey there, fella. She deserves a nice room and some supper."
"You like doing that, don't you sir?" Toby asked.
"You have no idea," Diana told him. She, Toby, and her father had a little laugh.
"Hey, Charlie!" Bartlet called.
Charlie comes forward, "Yes, sir?"
"What'd you think of the speech?" He asked.
"Me?"
"Yes, you," Bartlet told him.
"Uh, I thought it was-" Charlie began before Toby cuts him off.
"He means the text of the speech, Charlie, discounting the little improv in the D section," He said.
"I mean the entire speech, Charlie, and in particular the delivery," Bartlet clarified.
"I thought it was excellent," Charlie commented.
"See!" Bartlet and Toby said at the same time before Toby laughs again.
"See, I think what Charlie's trying to say is that in this case, the singer outdistanced the song," Bartlet told Toby.
"Really. Well, what I heard Charlie say was that the text was user-proof, although you did your level best to disprove that in the D section," Toby told him.
"You know what, Toby?" Bartlet asked.
"Sir."
"You're what my mother calls a pain in the ass," Bartlet told Toby.
"Well, that's what my mother calls it too, sir," He retorted.
"Oh, Mr. President," Charlie called.
"Yes, Charlie. By the way, did the First Lady call?" Bartlet asked.
"The First Lady called at eight forty, sir. She wished you luck and told me to tell you to take your back medicine," He informed Bartlet.
"My back is fine," Bartlet told Charlie.
"I have it here, sir," Charlie holds the pill bottle in his hand.
"Those damn things make me goofy," He said, refusing the pills.
"Mrs. Bartlet seemed quite adamant. I'd describe her tone as being…" Charlie began telling Bartlet.
"You don't have to describe her tone to me, Charlie. I've been married to it for 32 years," Bartlet interrupted.
"Sir, if you do not take your pills, I will inform the First Lady," Diana warned her father.
"You wouldn't dare?" He questioned Diana.
The whole group comes out of the building where a crowd is waiting for them. They head for their cars. Secret Service Agents are everywhere.
"Sir, I don't want to get in trouble with the First Lady…" Charlie stressed.
"Give me the medicine, Charlie," Bartlet takes the medicine and sticks it in his pocket, 'Thank you. Have a good night. I'll see you in the morning."
"Yes sir."
"Thank you all," Bartlet said to the crowd as he waves to them. Diana opens the door and he gets into his limousine. Diana gets in and closes the door.
"We're ready to go. Move out," Diana said into her radio.
After returning to the White House, Josh informed Diana that they lost five votes, but were going to try and figure something out. In the Roosevelt room, Sam, Toby, Mandy, and C.J. are sitting around a table, still in their fancy clothes, and Diana in her secret service event suit, eating Chinese food. Leo and Josh are both on the phone.
"Leo, your food's getting cold. Want me to bring it over?" C.J. asked him. Leo shakes his head and continues talking on the phone.
"Seriously, I have never had dumplings quite this good," Mandy said.
"Isn't my food getting cold too?" Josh asked, plaintively.
"We ate your food," Diana told him.
"C.J., you have got to try this," Mandy offered C.J. some of her food.
"Oh, thanks. Try some of this," C.J. offered her.
"Here it comes," Toby said under his breath.
"Yum! Oh, Sam, you gotta try the General Chow's chicken," C.J. offered him as she held the box up to him.
"And the Kung Pow chicken," Mandy held up the box.
"And the sauteed broccoli," Diana told him.
"With the sauce," C.J added.
"Oh, you gotta have it with the sauce," Mandy agreed.
Sam picks up a pair of chopsticks and eats the chicken from C.J before saying with a mouth full of food, "That's delicious!"
"You didn't try it with the sauce," C.J. told him.
"Will the two of you... shut up?" Toby asked.
"Wanna try the spicy crispy beef?" Mandy offered him.
"I'm really very happy with the food that I've got," He replied.
"I'll try some," Diana took a bite of the chicken, "That's good."
Leo gets off the phone and walks over to the table. He starts dishing up.
"Botrell?" C.J. asked Leo.
"It's not Botrell. I've only got two, but Botrell isn't one of them. Katzenmoyer and Wick," He informed her.
"I could've called that," Mandy told Leo.
"Sam, slide me a soda please."
Sam slides a soda to Leo. Josh hangs up his phone and walks over to the table, sitting next to Diana.
"Everyone's someplace else. All I got was O'Bannon," Josh informed them.
"I didn't get O'Bannon. That's three," Leo said.
"Who'd you get?"
"Katzenmoyer and Christopher Wick," Sam answered Josh.
"Chris Wick?" He questioned.
"Yeah," Leo confirmed.
"It's got to be a mistake. Who told you that?" He asked.
"Lee Tamaki and the minority whip," Leo told him.
"They've got bad information. There is no way Chris Wick jumped the fence," Josh said.
"The President just told a ballroom full of people and anyone who reads a newspaper that we're gonna pass 802 on Wednesday. We've got a 72-hour fight," He told the group.
"How do we do that without making noise?" Toby asked.
"What do we care about noise?" Mandy questioned.
"My father says that there are two things in the world you never want to let people see how you make 'em: laws and sausages," Diana answered before saying, "First of all, we don't involve the President."
"Absolutely," Leo agreed, "This is us. C.J., what's the press room going to be talking about in the next few days?"
"Financial disclosures," C.J. answered.
"That time again?" Toby asked.
"It's that time again," She told him.
"What are you worth there, Toby?" Josh asked him.
"Well, I own this tuxedo, and I've got twenty-three bucks in my pocket," Toby dryly said.
"That's good," Mandy giggled.
"Financial disclosure it is," Leo said.
"No, I mean, that's good," She clarified, referring to what Toby said.
"She's right," Josh agreed.
"C.J. feed them human interest, not just, "Look, we're disclosing assets." People will really get a kick out of reading about how much money you guys have, especially when they find out you don't have any," Mandy told them.
"It's a pretty humiliating way of taking one for the team, isn't it?" Toby said.
"They're going to love you for being broke, Toby," She told him.
"I found that. I found that women especially can't get enough of my 1993 Dodge Dart."
"How do we get the votes?" Leo asked.
"Well, setting aside Christopher Wick, and I agree with Josh. Someone's getting that wrong. Katzenmoyer and O'Bannon I buy. I'm going to guess the other two are Tillinghouse and LeBrandt. That's what we're going to hear tomorrow. Now the two of them are going to vote together on this, so we're really only going to need to get to one, and whether it's Tillinghouse or LeBrandt, and it should be Tillinghouse, we're gonna need help," Sam told him.
"Yeah," Josh agreed.
"Who?" Leo asked.
"You're not going to like it," Sam told him.
"Who?" He repeated.
"The Vice President," Sam answered.
"No way," Leo told them.
"Leo…" Josh began.
"No way," He repeated.
"Tillinghouse and the Vice…"
"I'm not using Hoynes," Leo told him.
"Actually, Leo, I have to agree…" Mandy said.
Leo looks at his watch, "What time do you have? My watch says two o'clock?"
Diana looks at her watch, "It's two o'clock."
"Did someone pay for this?" He asked.
"I got it," Mandy replied.
"Make sure you turn in a receipt. I gotta go home," Leo turns to leave and says, "Toby, Sam, beautiful work."
"Thank you," Sam said.
Toby points at Sam with chopsticks, "Two and a half paragraphs," He points at himself, "Thirty-seven pages."
The next day, Diana was leaving the Oval Office with Sam and Josh.
"So what's the range of what we're talking about?" Josh asked Sam.
"Congratulations, Josh," Mrs. Landingham said as the three passed her.
"Thanks, Mrs. Landingham," He said.
"What's she congratulating you on?" Sam asked.
"Did you win something?" Diana asked.
"I don't know," Josh replied as they walked out to the hallway.
"What's the range?" Sam asked him.
"Yes," He responded.
"Votes are expensive," Sam continued, "O'Bannon's going to want the farm subsidies revisited, Katzenmoyer's gonna go back to the federal tax-exempt metro link. We're talking about unions, defense contracts, possibly agency appointments, and my point is that the clock's running, and we're no closer to answering the question."
"Which question?" Josh asked.
"How we get five votes without giving away everything in the store," He said.
A woman passes by, "Congratulations, Josh."
"Thanks."
"What the hell...?" Diana muttered.
"We do it by giving away nothing in the store," Josh told Sam.
"We can't…" Sam began.
"I say nothing," Josh interrupted him.
"What're you saying?" Sam asked.
"L.B.J. never would've taken this kind of crap from Democrats in Congress. He'd have said, 'You're voting my way, in exchange for which, it is possible that I might remember your name'," He said before stopping at a doorway, "Pal, we need to win. And I mean win. We need to take a curtain call and a victory lap. And that's how we get momentum. We get it by being tough. We give away nothing. That's what I'm taking to Leo."
"What about Chris Wick?" Diana asked.
"Chris Wick, I own his ass," Josh replied.
They walk into Josh's Bullpen area to cheering and people shouting "Congratulations". Donna walks up.
"I sense I'm being mocked," Josh said.
"Congratulations, Josh," Donna said.
"What did I do?" He asked.
"You won our award for best gift valued over twenty-five dollars on the financial disclosure report," She replied.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"What won it for me?" Josh asked.
"The 1,189 dollar Viennatelli silk smoking jacket from Miss Sarah Wissinger," Donna replied.
"Ah, yes," Josh smiled before continuing to walk.
"You're also the runner-up, by the way, with the 345 dollars antique scrimshaw cigarette holder, also from Miss Sarah Wissinger," She added.
"Well, Sarah was very fond of me," Josh said.
"I'd imagine with that smoking jacket and the cigarette holder, you were quite the dandy," Donna teased.
"All right, this was fun, but Sam and I are busy making critical decisions, and I'm sure you have a lot of typing to do. So I'll talk to you later," He told her.
"Bye," Donna walks off.
Sam, Diana, and Josh keep going, right past Josh's office.
"I'll take care of Chris Wick."
"Where are you going?" Sam asked.
Josh stops and looks at Sam, "Where are you going?"
"I was following you," He replied.
"I was following you," Josh replied.
Diana rolled her eyes before saying," Sam go that way," She points ahead, "And Josh you come with me. All right, and no one has to know about this, okay?"
Josh and Sam nod their heads in agreement before Josh and Diana walk back into the bullpen as Toby comes around the corner. The two walked up to Leo's office.
Josh knocks on Leo's door, he and Diana walk in, "Leo?"
"Diana, do women like violinists?" Leo asked her.
"Depends on the woman," Diana replied, "Why? Are thinking about taking lessons?"
"No, I mean to listen to next to the table," He clarified.
"Gets a little weird after a minute, doesn't it?" Josh said.
"That's what I thought," Leo said.
"Is it Jenny's birthday?" He asked.
"I forgot our anniversary," Leo admitted quietly.
"In that case, I'd shift into gear and bring on the Juilliard String Quartet," Josh told him.
"No, Josh. Leo just put on Jenny and your's song, and maybe try to recreate your first date," Diana suggested.
"Call the guy," Leo said to Margaret.
"Perhaps Mrs. McGarry would enjoy you in a nice smoking jacket," Margaret said to Leo before she looks pointedly at Josh.
"Leave," Josh said.
"Call the guy," Leo repeated, and Margaret leaves.
"I'm going to see Katzenmoyer."
"When?" Leo asked him.
"Right now," Josh informed him.
"What're you gonna give him?"
"Nothing more than a wake-up call. I want your permission to kick his ass," He told Leo.
"You want to dangle his job in front of him?" Leo asked.
"Yeah," Josh confirmed.
"No," Leo and Diana told him.
"I wanna let him hear the branch creak," Josh said to them.
"We do that. It doesn't work. We can't do it again," Leo said.
"If it doesn't work, I back off. If it doesn't work, we give Katzenmoyer a metro link and we let O'Bannon order off the menu. If it does work, I think we get the other four votes no problem when word gets out we're not screwing around," Josh pleaded.
A moment passes before Leo gives in, "I should sell tickets to this meeting."
Later on, Diana was walking in the communications office and she ran into Josh.
"Hey, Josh, any luck with Katzenmoyer?" Diana asked.
"Yep," He replied, "Not to mention O'Bannon and LeBrandt."
"You got three?! That's incredible, Josh," She commented, "Now, all we need is Wick."
"He's waiting for me right now," Josh said.
Donna walks up to them and says, "Josh."
"Yeah."
"Congressman Wick is waiting in the Mural Room," She reminded him.
"I know," Josh replied.
"He's been waiting twenty minutes," Donna added.
"I know," He repeated.
"You have a legislative liaison meeting in fifteen minutes."
"I know."
"Walk and talk," Diana said and the three of them then began walking to the Mural room.
"And then the East Asia briefing.
"I know."
"All right. Well, then this entire conversation served only as a reminder," Donna said.
"Actually, it only served as a colossal waste of time and energy. Keep up the good work," Josh told her.
Josh goes inside the Mural room with Diana. Congressman Chris Wick and his staff are waiting.
"Congressman," Josh called.
Wick turned away from his staff and walked over to Josh, "Dude!"
The young Congressman shakes Josh's hand and then starts to introduce him to staff.
"Uh, John, Fritz…" Wick began.
"Right," Diana interrupted before saying to his staff, "Alright, Guys, could you wait outside for a minute, please. The Congressman and Mr. Lyman want to talk about old times. I don't worry there won't be any roughhousing."
"Go ahead," Wick told his staff and they left the room.
"Thank you," Diana said as she walked over to the door and closed it once they were all out before rejoining Josh and Wick.
"Is that supposed to impress me, you have a staff?" Josh asked Wick.
"Josh…" He began.
"I told the House minority whip he was crazy," Josh cut him off, "No way is Chris Wick jumping the fence. Do you have any idea how stupid this makes me look?"
"Uh, look. About that, dude," He tried to explain but was interrupted by Josh again.
"Shove it, dude. We're not in a frat house anymore."
"What the hell, man?" Wick questioned.
"Name for me please the weapons banned in this bill and why you feel they should be
Legal," Josh asked.
"Look, I realize I should have called…"
"How about we just start with you naming the weapons banned in this bill," Diana interrupted.
"If you'd let me explain…" Wick tried to say.
"You don't have a clue," Josh told him.
"No. That's not true," He responded.
"Mac 90," Diana said.
"Listen…"
"The PCR. NFR. Anything ring a bell?" Josh asked Wick.
"My aides were supposed to…" He tried to explain.
"They're both copycats of the AR 15 assault rifle that was banned two years ago."
"It's the exact same gun and it's back, but the only thing that has changed about it is the grip," Diana added.
"Calm down…" Wick told them.
"How 'bout the Pat Maxi?" Josh asked him.
"Semi-automatic, muzzle barrel…" He began describing the weapon.
"It's a damn grenade launcher!" Diana, getting very angry, yelled at Wick.
"Yes, I'm trying to…"
"You know, I realize as an adult not everyone shares my view of the world," Josh interrupted Wick, "And with an issue as hot as gun control, I'm prepared to accept a lot of different points of view as being perfectly valid. But we can all get together on the grenade launcher, right?"
"Josh…"
"I put you in your seat. I got you elected to the House of Representatives," He reminded Wick.
"Yeah, and now you guys think I'm on the leash," Wick responded, "Look, I get taken for granted, Josh. I've one photo op with the President. One. Me and sixteen other freshmen. That makes me weak."
"You're not serious?" Josh asked him while Diana remained speechless.
"I've been here over a year. Huh. Where's the courtship? This isn't ego. A relationship with the White House is currency around here and I need some," He explained.
"You're voting down a measure that would restrict the sale of deadly weapons because
nobody invited you to the cool kid's table?" Josh questioned him.
"Got your attention," Wick replied.
"Your a grown-ass man acting like a spoiled child having a tantrum and not saving countless lives by voting for a bill that would restrict the sale of deadly weapons that are practically military grade all because no one cool asked you to sit at their table?" Diana rephrased the situation, having a hard time believing that is what is happening.
"You know, I'm so sick of Congress I could vomit," Josh and Diana start to leave but they turn back and he asks, "What do you want?"
"A round of golf," Wick replied as he walked toward them.
"The President doesn't play golf," Diana told him.
"What does he play?" He asked.
"Chess," She replied.
"Over brandy. With the White House photographers and we're fine," Wick added.
"My father is going to kick your sorry ass, you know," Diana told him.
"Whatever," He said before saying to Josh, "You know, I really don't appreciate you calling…"
"Chris, you're a Congressman. You've gotta make that real. This time it was me in the Mural Room. Trust me when I tell you, you do not wanna have this conversation with the guy who works next door, and you're lucky I was here to hold Secret Service Agent Bartlet back because she would have put all those years of Jiu-Jitsu lessons and that Jiu-Jitsu Army v. Navy championship belt to some use. And I've seen the video of her last match, I felt every bit of pain she inflicted on the guy she took down, who by the way, weighed almost 30 pounds more than Diana."
Josh and Diana open the door and see the staff waiting outside
"You guys take care," Josh said as he and Diana walk away.
"That guy burns my ass," Diana told Josh.
"Same, but let's hope me threatening him with you will do the job if he thinks about backing out," He said.
The two walk over to Leo's office and tell them they got Wick. When they arrived, Toby, Mandy, Sam, and C.J. were in the room with Leo, who is holding a box with a pearl necklace in it.
"Leo, I got four out of five," Josh informed him, "I'm absolutely convinced we need the Vice President to get Tillinghouse."
"We're all agreed on that," C.J. stated.
"No," Leo denied.
"This needs a Texan," Josh told him.
"I have a different idea," He said.
"What?" Josh asked.
"I go to Richardson," Leo replied.
"But Leo, you've already been through this with Richardson," Diana reminded him.
"Let's not get the entire caucus any more pissed off at us than they are already," Josh warned Leo.
"I'll talk to Richardson alone," Leo said.
"If your gonna do this you need to do it quietly and right now," Diana told him.
"Margaret!" Leo called.
"Call me as soon as you've got it," Josh said before leaving the room.
Margaret comes into the room, "Yes sir?"
"I need to see Mark Richardson out of the office," Leo informed her before she left to do it.
"You know, Toby. You could afford to buy one of those now if you want," Sam said with a hand on Toby's shoulder as she points to the box. Leo, C.J., Mandy, and Diana turn their attention over to Toby.
"There's literally no one in the world that I don't hate right now," Toby responded, causing everyone, but him, to laugh.
The next day, Diana and Charlie were looking for her father. His back was pretty bad this morning and he had taken his back pills. The two had left his side for a couple of minutes and when they returned to the residence, he was gone. Now they were looking for a President wearing jeans and a Notre Dame sweatshirt and looking slightly drugged. The two were currently in the Roosevelt Room, discussing the possible places in the White House where he could be, when Diana got a call from Mrs. Landingham that the President was in the Oval Office with C.J., Toby, Josh, Sam, Mandy, and Leo. A moment later, Charlie and Diana walked into the Oval Office and saw the President hugging Toby while sitting on the couch.
"Excuse me, Mr. President," Charlie spoke.
"Charlie! Diana!" Bartlet said, ending his hg with Toby.
"Mr. President, we left you alone for two minutes," He told Bartlet.
"Charlie's a great name and so is Diana," He told them.
"Thank you. Sir," Charlie replied.
"Thank you, Sir. Let's get you back to bed," Diana said.
"Did you know that Diana is the Roman name of Artemis the Greek Goddess of fertility, childbirth, hunting, and the moon? And Wonder Woman? And that it is said to mean "luminous," "divine," "fertile," or even "perfect"?" Bartlet asked his daughter.
"I did know about the Goddess and Wonder Woman, Sir, but not the meaning," She replied, "Now, you have to get back to bed."
"I'm going. I'm going," Bartlet gets up from the couch and everyone stands up, "Before I go, please let me just say this," He sighs and everyone prepares to hear what he has to say, "I'm seriously thinking about getting a dog."
"That's a great idea, Sir," Diana commented.
"Well, feel better Mr. President," Leo told Bartlet.
Charlie and Diana lead Bartlet out as everyone grins after them.
"Maybe an Irish setter, Charlie, Diana. What do you think?" Barley asked his aide and daughter.
"I think that's great sir," Charlie commented.
"They are a very good breed," Diana added as she, Charlie, and her father walked out of the Oval Office to the residence.
Late that night in Josh's Bullpen, Leo, Toby, Josh, C.J., Sam, Mandy, Diana, and Donna are watching the telecasts. And the news reporters were saying that Hoynes was the one responsible for getting the bill passed and giving him all the credit.
"Unbelievable," Mandy commented.
"I don't believe it," Sam said.
"You loosen the ketchup bottle and he pops the top off," Diana said.
"And keeps the ketchup," He added.
"Sorry, Leo. You saw this one coming through the Holland Tunnel," C.J. told him.
"We got what we deserved. It was hubris and we got what we deserved," Leo said before he gets up to leave, "Night everyone."
Everyone says good night. Leo walks away but turns back to Josh, who's not looking happy.
"Listen. We won," Leo told him before he leaves.
"Where's the President?" Toby asked.
"He's asleep," Diana answered.
"Wake him up."
Diana turns her head around as she saw Josh leaving the Bullpen.
"Toby," C.J. said.
"Wake him now," Toby demanded.
"Let's leave it till tomorrow, Toby. Let's leave it till tomorrow," She told him as she fiddles with a Magic Eight Ball.
"Don't worry, Toby," Diana said, "They may have won the battle, but not the war."