Authors Notes: As always, I don't own these characters, and they're used with love.
Trixie planned her revenge on Dan and Mart carefully over the next week. Because of the unusual school schedule, not all the students attended every day. She found out when Mart would not have an exam, and as a result, not be in school that day. No, that Wednesday was just her, Honey, and Dan at the lunch table.
It was mildly annoying to get up early and go to Mr. Lytell's store for a donut. But, she reflected as she carefully squirted mayonnaise in place of the filling, it was worth it. She wrapped the donut up, placing it in a bag with the rest of her lunch.
Then, she purchased a can of coke in the cafeteria, identical to the one on Dan's tray. All that was left was snatching a ketchup packet and a straw from the lunch line. Cutting open the end of the ketchup packet, she placed the end of the straw in the ketchup. Then, carefully, she inserted both into the can. Unless he really peered into the can, searching for it, Dan would never know it was there. Only the straw was left visible, looking perfectly ordinary.
Honey helped with the next step, distracting Dan just long enough for Trixie to subtly swap his coke with hers. It was easy enough. Trixie casually offered him her donut, which he took without hesitation. She fought hard to keep the smug grin off her face, not wanting to tip him off.
He didn't seem to notice on the first bite. Trixie frowned, watching him intently. Then, she made a point of looking away, afraid she was being obvious. Waiting for results patiently? Not her forte.
On the second bite, she could pinpoint the exact second when he realized something was wrong. His face soured, his mouth reflexively opening and shutting as though he didn't know what to do with the contents within. He chewed tentatively, gagging a few times, but finally managed to get it down.
"What did you-" he began, reaching to clear his mouth with a sip of coke. Trixie and Honey stared excitedly at each other wide-eyed, and then back at him, as he drew in a deep drink. He sputtered, spitting ketchup into his napkin. Coughing loudly and frantically, he wiped at his mouth. "What did you do?" he barely managed to utter.
Grinning broadly, Trixie leaned over, taking mercy on him. Giving him back his own Coke, she announced gleefully, "And that's what you get for keeping secrets from your fellow Bob-Whites!"
"We know you know about Mart and Di," Honey added, "and you shouldn't have lied."
He glared at them both, desperately taking a long swig of his drink. Snatching Trixie's napkin, he again wiped at his tongue, then drank again. He continued to eyeball them sullenly, then shrugged and grinned. "Okay, you got me," he conceded easily, starting to laugh.
The rest of Trixie's plan unfolded the very next day. Two testing sessions were held in the morning and two in the afternoon. However, it was rare for a student to have four tests scheduled in one day. If you had a test at any point during the day, you reported to the school. During the periods where a student did not have a test to complete, they could go into the cafeteria, library, or gymnasium while they waited.
Trixie had planned with Honey and their classmate Jane. She had also roped Dan into the ruse, after accomplishing her satisfactory revenge on him. It began the first thing that morning, with Mart finding a valentine in his locker. It was the kind that an elementary school kid might hand out, a cartoon bee with the corny saying "Bee mine." Nothing else but a pencil-drawn heart. Mart looked around; eyebrows knit together.
It was odd, both because it was June and because Mart was a 17-year-old boy. He didn't frequently get children's oddball valentines, and he wasn't sure what to make of it. He dismissed it, thinking Diana must have thought it would be cute for some reason he didn't totally get.
After all, he was a 17-year-old boy. Matters of the heart weren't exactly his specialty, but he did know one thing. To wit: don't poke holes in the judgment of a pretty girl who lets you kiss her. He stuffed the valentine in his bag and continued to the library.
Trixie skidded around the corner from where she had been watching, making a mad dash to the library herself. She slowed down, noticing a teacher pass by. As soon as she was out of their sight, she picked up her pace to a surprisingly good clip that could – barely- pass for a walk. Getting closer to the library, she broke into a sprint, darting through the heavy doors. She sped-walk over to where Honey was waiting.
"I get to hide, I get to hide," she proclaimed gleefully. "Where should I hide?" she gasped, and looked around the room, realizing for the first time that she hadn't planned for this part.
Honey grabbed her arm, having scouted out the best hiding spot already. She shoved her up against the edge of an endcap of books. It was in a dusty, little-used corner of the library where not many eyes would notice. Trixie ducked excitedly down, waiting.
Honey sat down at a table. Mart came in a few minutes later. When he noticed Honey was there, he slid into the chair next to her. They greeted each other, making small talk for a moment, while Trixie grew impatient. She wanted them to get on with it already.
Then, she got her wish, as Mart pulled out a notebook. Flipping it open, another children's valentine fell out. Mart cocked his head in confusion, and Honey giggled. "It's a little late for Valentine's, isn't it?"
Curious, Mart began digging through his backpack. After only a moment, he found two others. He began removing all his books and belongings from his backpack, intent on doing a careful search.
Peering around the books, Trixie had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. She slunk across several aisles, carefully to not be seen by Mart, and waved to Jane. Jane nodded in response. After pulling out her lipstick and carefully reapplying, Jane stood up and smoothed out her skirt.
Clearly, Jane planned on making a big entrance. Trixie normally would have rolled her eyes, but somehow, the drama of it all only made it more engaging.
Jane sidled up next to Mart, who was intent on searching his belongings. She giggled, startling him into dropping a book loudly. He scrambled to pick it up, as she leaned over to do the same. Clearly intentionally, she grabbed his hand instead. He flushed and straightened uncomfortably.
Undeterred, she finished collecting the book from the floor. She leaned over to place it on the table in front of him, so close it was awkward, and giggled. "Here you go. Your hair smells nice."
"Uh, thanks..." Mart stammered out, looking flustered. Trixie had returned to her hiding spot and couldn't help but chuckle quietly. Honey stood up. "I'll leave the two of you alone."
"No, Honey, you can stay," Mart interjected, starting to pale. But Jane waved. "Bye, Honey," she replied sweetly. "Honey?" Mart almost pleaded. But taking Jane's hint, Honey waved and disappeared.
"I see you found my presents," Jane pointed out. "It wasn't hard. I've known the combination to your locker all year. I mean, I never opened it because that would be crazy," she assured him.
"Crazy..." Mart echoed, looking bewildered. "Wait – you were in my locker?"
"Just this one time," she lied. She didn't really know his combination. Or open his locker. Trixie had planted all the valentines at home that morning. But that wouldn't be funny, now would it?
She blinked at him, wide-eyed. "I hope you don't mind. I just like you so much and I didn't know how else to tell you."
"I-I guess," Mart replied uncertainly, clearly uncomfortable and on the spot. "But Jane, I don't think- "
She cut him off abruptly. "What's your zodiac sign?"
He looked around the room, as though he was searching for help. "My zodiac sign?"
"We're obviously meant for each other Mart. I mean, it's so clear. Don't you think so?" she gushed.
"Jane, I'm sure that- "
"You're a Gemini, aren't you! I can tell, you know!"
"Actually, I am," he admitted, temporarily so surprised that he forgot to argue with her.
"I knew it," she crowed. "I was watching you the other day and I could just tell. I thought, oh, now, he acts just like a Gemini. That's the most compatible with me, you know."
"I-"Mart shook his head as if to clear it. "You were watching me? We don't even have any classes together."
Just then Dan strode up to the table. Right on time, Trixie thought. "Oh, hi Dan," Jane greeted. "Now, I know you and Mart are best friends, but you'll have to get used to not having so much of his time now."
"I will?" Dan queried, looking at Mart.
Jane giggled again, pulling out a notebook. It had Mart's name written all over the cover in various incantations. Mrs. Martin Belden, Jane and Martin Belden, I Love Mart. Mart paled again, pleading with his eyes for Dan to save him.
"Now that I'm his girlfriend, he'll be spending most of his time with me. I'll try to let you see him once in a while, but don't forget, he's mine!" she said, wagging a finger.
Dan shot Mart a confused look, and Mart started to get indignant. "Now wait just a minute! You're not my girlfriend."
Honey had long ago snuck to hide with Trixie, and they were practically rolling on the floor with barely contained hysteria. "Jane is too much!" Honey whispered. "I know," Trixie replied, wiping tears from her eyes. "I never knew she was so good as a psycho."
Jane gave him a fake, pouty look. "I'm not? Are you breaking up with me Mart? Is there someone else?" she demanded.
"No!" he retorted in annoyance. "I mean, yes! I mean, I never asked you out. We're not going out – we're not-we're not…." He stood up slowly. "You're not serious," he announced, the realization dawning on him. "This isn't real, is it?" he asked, looking at first Jane, then Dan.
Jane opened her mouth to argue, but after a moment, she instead broke character and shrugged. "Okay, fine. It's not real."
Trixie and Honey came streaking out from behind the books at that moment, cheerfully hugging Jane. "Oh, Jane, that was too perfectly perfect," Honey told her.
"That really was great. I'm so glad you helped us," Trixie added.
"No problem, girls. Happy to help. It's fun to practice my acting." She held out a hand to Mart. "No hard feelings?"
He grumbled for a moment but eventually shook her hand. "No hard feelings," he agreed. "Stay away from my lamebrain sister, though. She drags people down to her level with harebrained schemes."
"Ta-ta," Jane waved, leaving the group.
Trixie sat in Jane's vacated seat, leaning over the table to wag her finger in Mart's face. "Speaking of harebrained schemes and lame brains, that's what you get, dear brother, for thinking you could keep a secret from us. The jig is up, and I don't know why you ever thought that you could keep it from me."
Mart folded his arms, resting his face down on the table. "I wasn't trying to keep it a secret because I didn't want you to know. I just didn't want you to have to keep it a secret from Moms and Dad," she could hear his voice, disjointed but audible, from where it was buried in his arms.
He sat up suddenly, eyebrows furrowed. "You WILL keep it a secret, won't you?"
Trixie frowned. "I'm not going to lie if they ask me. But I'm not going to rat you out either. If you don't do anything to make them suspicious, they won't have anything to ask me about, and I won't HAVE to lie. So, don't make them suspicious," she warned.
The next day found a restless Jim and Brian volunteering to help finish putting up the fencing around Mrs. Belden's garden. The planting was mostly complete, but some posts still needed to be placed. As the plants grew in, becoming more appealing to garden pests, it was becoming urgent to finish closing in the garden.
Jim and Brian were more than willing to help. Even though Brian was working as a medical scribe a few days a week, it was a far easier workload than he had grown accustomed to. Jim, similarly, had a summer class, but it only took a few hours of his time. He assisted with the logging project on Mr. Wheeler's land, but that only occurred a few days every week when the forester was available. Even together, neither job amounted to full-time work.
Not to mention, the rest of the Bob-Whites were still in school. This left them at loose ends quite often, with free time that they didn't mind giving to Mrs. Belden. After all, she was practically a second mother to Jim (or was that third?) – and an actual mother to Brian. Jim was certain he owed her for a hefty grocery bill, as he'd been fed many times by Mrs. Belden. Wasn't it the least they could do?
So here they were, spending a sunny Friday up in the garden, moving metal posts into position and stretching the fencing from one to another. They were unrolling more fence from the spool, toward the newest post, when an unfamiliar car pulled into the driveway around noon. Jim and Brian both paused, setting the spool down, and looking to see who was arriving at the home.
Trixie popped out of the passenger seat. She leaned down to say something to the man driving. He was young, attractive enough. Around their age, Jim figured. He looked a bit familiar, but Jim couldn't quite place him. "Do you know him?" Jim asked Brian.
Brian squinted, trying to see the face through the drivers' open window. Apparently, he hadn't been as concerned with the identity of the mystery man as Jim. After a moment he answered, "It looks like Andy Fischer, I think. He was a year older than us."
Jim frowned, trying to figure out how Trixie had ended up in the car of…what, a 20-year-old man? What business could he have with her? Jim was confident that this guy's business didn't belong anywhere near Trixie, although he could only hope she saw it that way, too.
Just then, Trixie looked up to meet Jim's thunderous gaze. As soon as their eyes locked, she was suddenly very aware of the fact that she was in trouble.
Trixie looked up, feeling as though she was being watched. She saw her brother and Jim on the hill. Brian didn't seem to even be looking her way. It was immediately clear, on the other hand, that Jim's intense green eyes were practically shooting daggers. His face was humorless, his mouth a grim line.
She was unnerved by his expression, immediately flustered. But she tried to push the thought aside while she collected her wits to thank the man who had given her a ride home. Waving as he pulled down the driveway, she turned away after a moment. Trixie met Jim's gaze once again, realizing it had probably never left her.
She wasn't dumb – clearly, he was upset with her for some reason. She wasn't entirely sure why, but it was hardly a brand-new feeling. She had a way of getting under Jim's skin, even when she wasn't trying. Of course, and she'd never admit this, sometimes she was trying. Sometimes she took pleasure in pushing every last button she could find. But this was a new button, one that she had never tried before.
She took a fortifying breath, then marched up the hill to the garden. Whatever it was, she wasn't going to go run into the house for shelter. That would be too much like backing down. If she had pissed in Jim's Cheerios somehow, he could at least say so. No, she was going to face him - face to sour face.
Brian took one look at Trixie approaching, looking huffy. Meanwhile, the tension practically rolled off Jim. Not a dumb man, Brian knew when to stand down. Whatever was about to come out of this, wasn't his problem, and he wasn't getting caught in the middle. "I'm going to get a drink," he announced, wiping his forehead. If Jim had been paying any attention, he would have recognized the move as dramatic. Or at least, dramatic by Brian's standards. It wasn't that hot and there wasn't any sweat to be seen, much less wiped.
He picked up his and Jim's water bottles, from the edge of the garden. "You want me to fill yours?" Jim said nothing, clearly not even listening. His eyes were focused on Trixie. Brian shrugged, retreating for the house with both containers.
"How's it going?" she asked when she reached the garden, trying to sound casual. Despite his grumpy appearance, a friendly conversation would be ideal. She wasn't trying to pick a fight, after all, and maybe she was reading too much into his expression.
"Who was that?" Jim demanded. Well, so much for friendly conversation.
"Uh.." she hesitated for a moment, caught by surprise. "Andrew. Andy, I guess. Jess Fisher's older brother."
His eyes widened. "Andy, you guess?" he repeated incredulously. "You don't even know his name? Why were you in his car?" He could feel his temper building, a pressure growing behind his eyes.
Trixie flushed, immediately not liking what he was insinuating. "For cripe's sake, Jim, I didn't mean it like that. You make it sound like I'm some idiot getting into cars with strange men. He's not, like, a stranger. I know Jess, and I've met him before. We're not best friends, but he was at the school already waiting for her. And he offered me a ride. That way I didn't have to wait three hours for the bus, even though my tests were all done. He was just being nice."
Jim snorted with derision. "Oh, just being nice. Let me tell you something about guys just being nice. Honest to God, Trixie, sometimes you worry me. Open your eyes." He shook his head in disbelief.
Trixie hung her head for just a moment, realizing she had honestly never even thought about it that way. She didn't know him very well, and if he had been aggressive, she would have been in a bad position. It was true, and hard to deny. But then Jim continued, too steamed up to know when to quit.
"What if he wanted to kiss you? Or what if he tried to touch you? Would you have been able to stop him?" he challenged rhetorically, and now she saw red. How dare Jim accuse him of anything, like she couldn't be trusted to judge his character for herself? Like she had no common sense. Like she knew nothing about the intentions of men! Okay, granted, she basically knew nothing about the intentions of men. And maybe the part that made her furious was that he, of all people, would point it out. He was Exhibit A in THAT trial.
She raised her head, glaring at him, "He didn't do anything, Jim! He gave me a ride home! Just because I'm a woman doesn't make me helpless, you know. Like I'm just at the whim of whatever guy comes along because I'm too stupid to fend for myself. He didn't try to kiss me because it wasn't like that."
Jim looked her square in the eye. "But what if it was, Trixie?" he asked in a level voice. "You wouldn't know until it was too late. Not every guy is nice just because they like being nice." He continued, his voice beginning to rise again, "You act like I always see the worst in people, but a lot of people? They're the worst. So, what if he was one of them?"
Trixie rolled her eyes. "If he were a guy like that, he wouldn't be wasting his time with me. Guys don't think of me like that. I'm not the sort of person…I'm not Honey or Di. I mean, I get why you'd warn Honey about taking a ride home from a guy. Guys aren't sneaking kisses from someone like me."
Jim's jaw dropped. "I would!" he snapped, irritated by the illogical argument. After a beat, though, he realized what he had said. His eyes widened, and he immediately started trying to frantically backtrack. His anger, now replaced by embarrassment, began to slide away. "I mean, I wouldn't," he amended lamely. "I'm not a creep, I'd never be…you know, sneaking. Or making you…" he trailed off uncertainly, getting redder every second. This was a hole he hadn't seen, and he wasn't sure how to climb out of it.
Trixie didn't wait for him to finish. "Oh, right," she retorted sarcastically. "You haven't yet, Jim. In fact, you see me every day, basically, and we've known each other for 3 years. I'm pretty sure I can make it through a 6-minute car ride unscathed."
With those words, whatever anger Jim still had was officially deflated. Instead, he just shook his head. "It's…it's not like that, Trixie." It had never really occurred to him that, by hesitating to make a move, he was undermining her self-confidence. It was an awful realization, and he frowned. "Can we go sit for a minute? Maybe the picnic table?" He had never expected to be having this conversation today. He hadn't expected any of this. But there it was, and he had run into it like a brick wall.
Maybe ignoring this kind-of-sort-of-almost relationship wasn't working. In a flash of guilt, he knew he couldn't sidestep it anymore. No, it had to come out, awkward as it was. He had never really known how to say it, how to vocalize everything he thought, and he supposed he thought that ignoring it was the same as making it go away. But ignoring it had hurt her feelings, and that was worse.
She just nodded, suddenly quiet, and he took her by the hand. He wasn't sure who he was reassuring with the gesture – him or her. Leading her to the table in the backyard, they sat. Neither one quite looked at the other, and several minutes of uncomfortable silence passed. Finally, he cleared his throat – the silence was so stifling at this point that breaking it was almost unbearable. If it weren't for the fact that lingering any longer would have been worse, he might never have found the nerve to speak at all.
He spoke slowly, trying to gather his thoughts. He knew that it would be hard to explain himself, hard to make her understand. As much time as he had thought about it, about her, about them…it still didn't always make sense to him. And yet, somehow, he needed to get it to make sense to her. If nothing else, so that she would stop thinking that the problem was her.
"You have always been special to me. For a long time, I thought I was waiting for you to be 16. Our relationship really couldn't change until then, and that's fine," he assured her. "We were just kids anyway. When I left for school, it sucked. It sucked a lot, but I could live with it- if that makes sense. I didn't want to leave home. I hated it, but it was the next step." He paused and cleared his throat, adding almost shyly, "And I missed you. You know that. But I also knew that you couldn't date anyone else. So, I tried not to think much about it." That part was the easy part, the honest truth that he knew like the back of his hand.
He could still remember last summer, how heartbroken he felt leaving for school. Leaving her, and he had never even gotten to – really – have her. It seemed about on par for his experience. His life had seemed like one long exercise in having the rug yanked out from under him, just when he got comfortable.
But he tried not to fixate on it. He tried to keep telling himself that it wasn't over, it just couldn't happen right now. It would all work out. He just had to make his move before anyone else could, and there wasn't any use obsessing until then. These thoughts had played through Jim's own head so many times, that explaining them rolled right off his tongue.
"I just figured that, when you turned 16, you'd be my girlfriend. It seemed like a given, I guess. In my head, that was how it always went." He glanced over to check her expression. He couldn't tell what she was thinking, but she didn't look angry. She nodded, indicating that she was at least following along so far. He took a deep breath and continued.
"So, I went to school. And while I was there, I met lots of guys who had high school girlfriends. Who did the long-distance relationship thing. And Trixie…it never worked. Never. I mean, some of them broke up the first few weeks of school. Some of them lasted for a few months. But eventually?" he shook his head. "They always broke up. I just…. I kept looking for some kind of proof that we could do it. Trixie, I-I really care about you, but I don't want to start a relationship now if it's just going to end up like that."
"Right," she answered. "I understand." But her voice sounded cool and distant, and he felt a sense of panic that he was ruining it. He took her hands in his own, looking at her seriously. "I don't want to rush into it - not if it's going to end up as a disaster. I watched a LOT of people go through a LOT of disasters. I just…I just can't help but think that we can't make it work now. When the whole thing goes south and you won't even answer my calls, I just...I can't live with that," he confessed. "You need to be free now, to do whatever you want, without feeling obligated to some guy who is never around to be your boyfriend. If we put expectations on each other now, I'm afraid it might be too hard to live up to them. Other people's experience has shown me that it ends up with us hating each other. I don't want that."
He couldn't quite meet her gaze by the end of his speech, looking embarrassed, which somehow made her believe him even more. She knew Jim struggled to talk about his feelings. She didn't entirely understand his conviction. Could it possibly be that hard to have a long-distance relationship? Other people married their high school sweetheart, so it couldn't be impossible.
But she genuinely believed that Jim, at least, believed every word he said – and whether he was right, or she was, didn't really matter. Wasn't it self-fulfilling, to a point? If Jim believed it wouldn't work, then it wouldn't. The point, in any case, was that he wasn't ready right now, and it was hard to be mad about it when he was just so damn logical. Hurt, maybe, but not mad.
He rubbed his thumb idly over the back of her hand, finally looking her in the eye. "I'm sorry, Trixie." He couldn't help but feel like he was letting her down. Like not being able to find an answer that would let their relationship succeed was his own personal failing. Or maybe, not believing enough to try was his failure. He didn't even know anymore.
"It's okay, Jim," she assured him. "I know long-distance relationships usually don't work. I can understand thinking it's a bad idea, or that it could ruin things. Maybe you're right, maybe it's better if nothing changes right now."
He sighed. "But things do change. That's the problem. This isn't the right time for us. Then someone else asks you out, and before I know it-" he stopped abruptly, clearing his throat. After a beat, he finally finished softly, "It's just never the right time." He pulled his hand away, scrubbing his face roughly. She felt a twinge of sympathy for him. As much as she hated the message, she couldn't help but feel pity when he was so clearly conflicted by it.
She put her hand on his arm. "If it's meant to be, it'll be, right? And if it's not, then, at least we stay friends," she reasoned. He looked at her for a long moment, studying her. She could feel it, that sense that he had something to say but was holding it in. "What?" she finally prompted.
He shook his head. "I meant everything that I just said. Every single word of it. I mean it, Trixie, and you should know that," he stressed seriously. He paused, then added, "But with all that said, would it be the worst thing in the world if I kissed you right now? No matter what else happens, I could at least be your first kiss?" He felt a nervous ball pit in his stomach. He was way out on a limb now, one that he wasn't sure was sturdy (or appropriate). He had no idea what her response was going to be and waiting for it filled him with dread.
She was silent for what was probably only a second or two. But to Jim, it seemed to stretch on into eternity. He waited, anxiously, for a response, watching her thoughtful expression.
Finally, she simply agreed "No, I can't imagine it would be the worst thing." She smiled shyly at him, a look he barely recognized from her. That feeling in the pit of his stomach somehow constricted even tighter. He thought her approval would be a relief, but now, the idea of actually kissing her was overwhelming. After all, this was probably the only chance he would get any time soon. Maybe ever.
Trying to dismiss any thoughts of botching it horribly and going down in history as her "bad first kiss story," he leaned forward. One hand gently rested on her arm as he kissed her.
He had kissed her, less than a handful of times in the past. But hey had always been relatively short pecks – borderline platonic. This one began sweetly, tenderly, but immediately intimate. Almost immediately, he lost himself to kissing her – really kissing her. The hand on her arm slid to bury itself in her hair. His left hand gripped her arm, pulling her closer. He deepened the kiss, and in response, she twined her arms around his neck. His hand, now free from her arm, slid up and down her back as he kissed her. Again, and again, until finally, with one, last, gentle kiss, he pulled away.
There was a moment of silence while they just looked at each other. Finally, he said quietly, "Thanks. I'm glad I got to be your first."
She giggled. "Me too."
He smiled, hugging her tightly, and kissing the top of her forehead. Finally, he admitted, "I better get back to the garden. I'm sure your brother thinks I abandoned the job."
"Oh, I see how you are," she teased. "Kiss and run." He squeezed her hand but didn't move. He couldn't seem to walk away from her yet. She squeezed back and headed inside the house. He watched her go for a long while, trying to sort out his jumbled thoughts.
Maybe kissing her had been a mistake after all because he couldn't help thinking that he wanted to do it forever.
That Monday, the girls gathered once again in Honey's bedroom. In theory, they were studying for their state exams. School exams were finished, state exams would be held over the next two weeks, and then summer would officially begin.
In reality, Trixie had headed up to Honey's room to find her and Di painting their nails. In their defense, a textbook was open nearby, but even Trixie doubted that was sufficient to count as studying.
However, Trixie was just as sick of school as they were, so she didn't complain. She wasn't, however, sick enough to want to paint her nails, so she just perched on the bed and watched them work.
"Did you hear Dan and Jane went out Saturday?" Trixie queried them both. "I don't know how acting like a psycho for Mart turns into a date for Dan, but in Dan's world, it somehow makes sense."
Diana laughed. "Mart was so embarrassed he couldn't even tell me the whole story," she admitted. "I had to ask Honey." She looked pointedly at Trixie. "So, does that mean it's over? Do you really forgive us now?"
Trixie thought about it for a minute. "Yeah, I guess. I don't care if you go out with my brother. You aren't breaking my rule," she acknowledged. "I already told Mart; I won't lie if my parents ask me. But I don't see why they would ask if you guys just keep it down."
"Well, that's what we were trying to do," Di pointed out. "I guess we're not that subtle."
"Well, Dan and Jim both caught you kissing, right? So maybe just a little less kissing until you're sure you're alone," Honey giggled.
Di sighed dreamily. "I know, I know. It's just hard not to sometimes."
Trixie wrinkled her nose. "How hard can it be?"
"I know you don't want to hear this, but he's a good kisser, Trixie. I mean really good. Like, imagine the most fun thing you've ever done. It's like that good. It's not so easy to just say 'oh, not right now' when it's so nice."
Honey gave Trixie a dubious look as if to say it couldn't be that hard. But Trixie looked away, suddenly feeling guilty. She did sort of know what Di meant – kissing Jim had been an awful lot of fun, after all. And she hadn't mentioned it to anyone else yet.
"It can't be that big of a deal…. can it?" Honey pondered out loud. Di just gave her a knowing nod, and Honey again looked to Trixie for her opinion. Trixie flushed. "How would I know?" she retorted. She immediately felt the pressure of the sort-of-lie and blurted out, "Ok, fine! I kissed Jim!"
Honey's mouth dropped open, and Di's eyebrows shot up. "Whaaaaat?" Di squealed. "Tell us everything. Everything?" she glanced at Honey for confirmation, who nodded. "Right, everything."
Honey held up one hand, hesitating. "Wait. It's nothing dirty, right?"
"Just kissing," Trixie informed her. Honey gestured for her to continue her story.
Trixie briefly outlined what had happened a few days before. She left out most of the details of the conversation but did explain Jim's hesitation to commit to a serious relationship when they spent most of the year in different locations. She chose not to add some of the more private details, but they got the gist.
"And then, he asked if he could kiss me anyway, and I said yes. So, he did," she finished simply.
Di just stared at her, violet eyes blinking while she waited for Trixie to finish. Realizing that was the end, she prodded her. "And?"
"And what?" Trixie held her hands out questioningly.
Di blew out an exasperated breath. "And what?" she huffed "How was it? Was it a good kiss? On the cheek or mouth? Tongue?"
Trixie choked, startled, then flamed a brilliant shade of red. "It's none of your business," she retorted, glancing at Honey.
Di chuckled with glee. "Oh, there was definitely tongue," she concluded. "But…. was it good?"
Trixie was still watching Honey, who seemed interested in the answer as well. "Okay, fine," she conceded reluctantly. "It was the best kiss in the history of kissing, is that what you want? He just came in and swept me away. With the stars and the fireworks and the music and the bells!" She grinned, then added, "Did I forget anything?"
Honey was wide-eyed, and Trixie wondered if she had understood the joke. Then again, she thought, how much of it was really a joke? It had been a pretty fantastic kiss.
Di just nodded knowingly. "See? Now you know why it's hard to stop."
Trixie flushed again. "Well, we're definitely going to stop," she mumbled. "Jim doesn't want to be serious while he's away at school."
Honey looked incredulous. "Why not?" she demanded.
"I told you," Trixie reminded them impatiently. "He said that he didn't ask me out before this because he doesn't want us to get too serious in a long-distance relationship. He says that he saw a lot of people at school who ended up breaking up. He thinks it would be too messy if it didn't work out."
Honey was sober at the thought. "I guess I can see that. If the two of you did end up in a fight, it would be complicated," she conceded.
Di scoffed. "But who says you'd break up? He's making a big deal about something that's just one possibility. I can't believe no one can have a long-distance relationship," she said incredulously.
Trixie suddenly felt provoked to defend Jim, which was odd, because her initial reaction had been like Diana's. "Well, Knut and Gloria broke up," she pointed out. "And they were together for two years before he went to college."
Di furrowed her brow, trying to refute Trixie's point. "Weren't your parents high school sweethearts?"
Trixie shook her head. "Nope. They went out in high school, but not steady. They stopped seeing each other when he was in college," she mused. "Moms didn't see him again until a Christmas party after he had graduated." Maybe, as much as she hated to admit it, Jim really did have a point. She wasn't doing a great job of finding a counterargument, after all.
Di folded her arms. "I still think it's only complicated because he's making it complicated," she insisted. Trixie just shrugged. "You know Jim. Responsible Jim. Everything's complicated because he's got to think it over 9 ways til Sunday. It doesn't matter, anyway," she reasoned. "What do you want me to do, force him?"
Honey grimaced, and Di sighed. "Oh, I know," she admitted. "It just seems like such a loss, I guess. If he'd want to, and you'd want to, and you just aren't because it could end badly. Anything could end badly."
"But," Honey pointed out logically, "there is a lot at stake here. We're all Bob-Whites. We're all friends. Some of his friends are her family. And some of his family is her friends. My mother was just telling me about a friend of hers from boarding school. She was dating his brother for a little bit, and then when she broke up with the brother, her friend stopped speaking to her. She never really asked her why they weren't friends anymore, they just avoided each other because it was awkward. And then a few months later, the friend moved. She never got to talk to her, ever again. She still feels bad that she lost her best friend over a boy problem."
Di looked horrified. "Oh, no! That would be terrible. Oh, Trixie, promise me that if Mart and I break up you wouldn't stop talking to me," she begged. "I never even thought of that!"
Trixie flinched at the thought, feeling a shudder. "Never, Di." She made a quick "cross my heart" motion as if to prove it. "That would be just awful. Let's all promise, all of us, that a boy won't ever come between us. No boy would ever be worth losing my best friends for."
Di put her arm out as if to make a pact. "Swear on it," she said solemnly. All three girls agreed, putting their hands together. Somehow, seeing now the pitfalls that could come from not thinking things through, Trixie was suddenly glad that Jim was so responsible. Thinking things through had never exactly been Trixie's forte, and maybe it was good that Jim did enough of it for both of them. She'd probably still make fun of him sometimes about it, but at least they hadn't gone to a place that they would later regret.
Brian and Jim had been extra-helpful so far with exercising the horses, knowing that they had free time and an obligation to make up to Regan. Regan had been overtaxed with the job while they were away at school. However, all of the Bob-Whites had been rather lax the last few days, which meant that Thursday found the whole group meeting for an afternoon ride.
Dan and Honey had school that morning only, so Jim had offered them a ride home mid-day. Later that afternoon, they met Brian outside the stable and began preparing the horses. Then they led them outside to wait in the corral for their riders. Jim, meanwhile, made another trip back to the school to pick up Trixie and Mart. Honey noticed that Jim suddenly seemed eager to go out of his way to make sure that Trixie wouldn't be relying on anyone else for a ride home. But, tactfully, she chose not to mention it.
However, with the thought already in her head, she decided to voice a related concern to Brian. It had been bugging her, itching under her skin since she had talked to Trixie on Sunday. Now seemed like as good a time as any to ask what she wanted to know, and they had as much privacy as they probably ever would. One extra Bob-White was, at least, less than the usual five, and Dan was quiet. Well, sometimes.
The three had returned to the stable, cleaning up a bit while they waited for the others. "Can I ask you something, Brian?" Honey began, a bit hesitantly. He glanced over at her encouragingly. "Of course, you can."
She sat down on a bale of hay. "Well, Jim and Trixie talked a few days ago," she began uncertainly. It suddenly occurred to her that Brian might be out of the loop. She had never been asked to keep it a secret, but was that an oversight?
Brian stiffened. His uncomfortable reaction made it apparent that this was not new information. Inwardly, she breathed a sigh of relief. "Yes, Jim thought he should mention it," he agreed, trying to sound casual.
"You don't seem very pleased," Honey noted. Dan looked back and forth between them. He really was out of the loop and wasn't afraid to say so. Sitting down next to Honey, he demanded, "What gives?"
"Jim and Trixie kissed."
"Hm," Dan replied pursing his lips as he thought it over. "Two people who have danced around each other for years finally kissed. Shocking," he concluded sarcastically, then looked at Brian. Reading the expression, he inferred, just like Honey, "So, you're not happy about it?"
Brian shrugged. "It's not that." They both looked at him dubiously. "It's not," he denied emphatically. "They're both free to do whatever they want, it's not really my business. And as Dan said, it's not exactly a shock to anyone, is it? I just…" He hesitated, trying to find the right words. "It seems like this has to end badly, for someone. It's my sister and my best friend. I don't even know who or what I'm rooting for here." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I lived with Trixie for the last three years. When Mr. Wonderful lets her down, it gets ugly. And he's twice as bad."
Dan agreed. "He's a giant, sad scarecrow. A mopey 6 foot Eeyore."
Honey frowned. "Why do you assume it will end badly? That's what Jim seems to think, too."
Brian scoffed. "Didn't stop him from kissing her," he muttered. "Nope. Not going there. Not my business," he echoed, as though reminding himself. Instead, he took a breath, then answered, "I don't think they know what they expect from the other. But somehow, I have a feeling that they both do have expectations. It's…." he paused again, then finally concluded, "It's hard to imagine that someone won't be let down."
Honey nodded, reflecting on what he said. Brian was always the most logical of them. That was one of the things she had always really liked about him. Dan rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
Honey filled in more of what she knew on the matter. "Jim says that he doesn't want to start a serious relationship with Trixie because he doesn't think it can work while he's at school. He says that he saw a lot of people at school who had steady girlfriends, and they ended up breaking up. He's afraid of it getting complicated. Was that your experience?" she asked delicately. She had to know – did Brian lose interest for the same reason as Jim? Had he been turned off to the idea by watching a string of other people's messy breakups?
Brian grabbed a nearby stool and sat down, looking thoughtful. "I really don't know," he concluded after a moment. "When I think back on the guys I've met at school, I've definitely seen some with messy relationships," he admitted. "But I don't think I really paid attention to that side of it – a lot of them, I never even met the girlfriend. I didn't know what caused it, and I didn't ask. I guess I didn't focus on why. A lot can go wrong between two people."
"Right," Honey agreed simply, but inside it felt like her heart was breaking. Had Brian always been this jaded, this detached? She couldn't seem to remember.
And it was so telling to her, how little he cared about the distance when Jim was fixated on it. Long-distance relationships had no meaning to him. In his mind, he wasn't in one. Strange, how this felt like the first time she was finding that out.
"So, if you don't think the obstacle is distance, why do so many people break up?" she asked. She didn't even know why. Maybe she was just trying to understand him again. Maybe she never understood him in the first place.
He looked up at the ceiling for a minute, thinking it over. "I guess I'd say, based on my experience and what I saw from other people, is that people like to pretend it's equal. You want to believe that you're both invested. Or, if you're ready to move on, people always want to downplay it. You know, 'we agreed it isn't working,' that sort of thing. You go on a date and it's just 'we didn't click'. No one wants to come out and say that he didn't call back, or she started seeing someone else, or whatever."
Dan nodded in agreement. "Oh, yeah. You don't admit that. Because then someone's the winner and someone's the loser. You can't come out and say it, cause if you're the winner, you look like a jerk. Who wants to be the loser?" He waggled his eyebrows at Honey. "That's why I only ever ask a girl out for two dates. Two is still casual, no serious attachment. Everybody walks away from a clean break, and no one's splitting up the good dish set."
She rolled her eyes, while Brian continued. "It's just never true, that it's even, and people's feelings get hurt more than they want to let on. I've been on both sides of it. Sometimes I was disappointed they weren't interested. Sometimes I disappointed them. I think that's what makes it messy. Someone's always the one who got out, who got away, who didn't really care. If someone dodged a bullet, who wants to realize they were the bullet? And on the other side, there's someone who loved them too much and feels cheated. It's easy to be bitter, I think. And it's hard to stay friends if you're bitter."
Honey nodded, feeling deflated. She had been hoping that Brian would make some sort of confession like Jim. Something about how he loved and respected her. She'd even take the line about "being a fine girl," or "it's not you, it's me". Really, any of the old cliché's would do. She could take that rejection, she thought. Anything that said that the problem wasn't her, it was a vague, insurmountable obstacle like the distance between them.
But here she was, being rejected in the most brutal, honest way possible. Because he didn't even seem to know he was rejecting her. He didn't think of her as a past girlfriend. He was more than comfortable describing his romantic life to her. Because he didn't even realize that, till now, she thought maybe she was part of it.
It was a crushing blow, and she tried hard to hide it. After all, she reasoned, Brian had never promised her anything. It was just that it felt like he had.
She stood up suddenly, needing out of the cramped space. "I can't believe they're not back yet," she tried to keep her voice level. She walked outside, as though she were looking for Jim's car. She walked to the corral fence, putting one foot up on the bottom rung, and leaning against it. She watched the horses graze, trying to blink back tears.
A few moments went by, lost in her thoughts when she saw Jim pulling down the driveway. She sniffled, wanting to compose herself before anyone saw. Jim parked, and Trixie bounced quickly out of the passenger's seat.
Unfortunately, she hadn't picked her backpack up far enough. As she stood, her foot caught in the dangling arm strap. She pitched forward, one arm waving dramatically. But Trixie couldn't correct and instead, sprawled in the grass by the driveway.
Mart sidestepped her neatly, laughing. Trixie's retaliation was swift, as she simply rolled over and shot one foot out, taking him down with her. Jim was already hurrying over to help her up and hadn't seen her attack on Mart coming. He was caught in the crossfire, and as Mart fell, he pushed Jim as well. Di stood beside the rest, looking shocked for a moment. Then, a giggle slipped out.
Mart and Trixie took one look at each other. In unspoken agreement, they each grabbed her by one knee. She tried to resist but was overpowered and off-balance. Finally, at least partly crippled by her own laughter, she ultimately joined the other casualties on the ground.
Dan came out then, standing next to her by the fence. His head cocked to one side, he asked simply and sincerely, "You gonna be all right?" Then, noticing the scene unfolding on the lawn, he puzzled out loud, "What the…?"
Honey giggled and wiped her eyes. "Yeah, Dan," she replied. "I'll be all right." And she knew it was true.