Ed's shallow breaths burnt with the cold Idris air. On his knees in front of the guard of Alicante and its adamas towers, he found himself whirling around in the dirt. It was so cold against his skin that it scorched him, his heart beat so fast it threatened to break his ribs, and by the Angel, he felt like his head would explode, spinning out of control as he looked around him in vain.

The Portal he had just come from had burst into powdered glass, raining down on him and dusting his skin with millions of what felt like paper-cuts. If the portal was gone it meant he could not go back to the Institute but he had to go back there. He had to. He had t-

"ARIANNE!"

He clambered to his feet with the sluggishness that came with terror. His eyes were shot wide as if hurting himself would help him see a way out of this mess, a way back to her, a way to stop this. He screamed her name again. He tore his vocal cords out as he shouted her name again and again and again, clutching at the space above his heart where his parabatai rune was.

"ARIANNE!"

Fear was replaced by exhaustion, despair and he broke into sobs as members of the guards, called upon because of the commotion, started to circle him. He did not bat an eye as they circled him, adamas pointed at him. His eyes stared into the dead space where the Portal had been and fell to his knees. He could hear the faint voices of other Nephilim asking him questions and the voice of a woman telling them to lower their weapons with an urgency that seemed very distant from his own. It was as if everything moved a thousand mile a second and he was stuck in place.

His brain could not comprehend what was going on. He was frozen, as though his brain shut down. Maybe he was dying. Mélodie Renarusé blocked the view to the empty space left by the portal which brought all noise, all the light and the cold back into focus.

"What happened?" She shook him.

"They attacked the Institute but -"

"By the Angel the portal! Everyone-"

"It was destroyed," he said but she did not hear him, too busy shouting orders, giving instructions for the defence of the capital.

She was not looking at him because she didn't care. She didn't care that he was here alone. She didn't care that Ari was not there. She didn't care that she saved his miserable fucking life and left him entirely alone!

"IT WAS DESTROYED!" He startled everyone into a stop. "Ari sent me through and destroyed the portal. You need to send me back." She stared at him with blank pity. "You need to send me back, I can feel her. She's still alive, look-" He pulled at his collar so she could see his parabatai rune. "She's still there, you need to send me back."

"Mr Longford, this is too risky, I can't-

"So you can abandon her again?! Maybe you can do that, but I can't. Send. me. Ba-" he screamed.

The sword he still head in his hand felt awkwardly to the ground as his knees hit the dirt with a shock that reverberated through his entire body. Ed felt like he was being torn to shreds, or turned inside out, like his flesh was being ripped appart and sown back together. He was bleeding, his parabatai rune was bleeding.

"No. No,no,nO,NO! NO!"

He writhed in agony, clutching at the skin surrounding the rune like he could keep it safe, healthy, alive. Fuck! FUCK! No. He did not know how long it took for him to feel merely sore. When he got back up, staring at the place the portal had been once again, his hand found his rune again as well. It was still there, he could still feel her. She was in pain, she was hurt and she was so fucking scared and desperate. She was Endarkened.

"My poor boy," he heard Mélodie say before darkness overtook him.

Pain. That's all he could feel when he woke up. A burning sensation almost paralized his left arm. The dry blood that crusted his parabatai rune looked like it had bubbled, boiled, before it stopped flowing. The blackness of the mark had turned to crimson beneath his skin. Before he even realised what it meant, despair, fear and disgust launched him forward and he vomited the small breakfast he'd had with Ari in the Rue de l'aiguillerie.

Arianne — he had to get her back. All his muscles ached when he pushed himself off the bed he had been brought to. He shook his left arm, shoving the stiffness away, massaging the pain away. He felt like his entire body was buzzing with an uncomfortable energy. The bond that linked him to his parabatai felt so taut it hurt.

He took comfort in the proof that she was alive. She may have been a forsaken, but she was alive. There must have been a way to bring her back. He threw his gear on and grabbed his stele, fire punctuating every one of his movements.

The door opened just as he reached for the handle. Mélodie blocked the way out, the very thin way that would take him to his parabatai.

"Get out of my way," he said between greeted teeth. Despite his age, the young Shadowhunter was much taller than his superior. He towered over her, tall and strong, his eyes threateningly unwavering. "I do not want to hurt you, but I will."

Her face, which had shown only empathy and pity until then, broke in a superior scowl.

"Listen to me, boy, you may try your best to get passed me, but you will not be able to, and even if you were to succeed, what are you gonna do then, huh?"

She took a step forward. She was so close to him, if only he took a deep breath, his torso who touch hers. Her own eyes, lined with age, were unimpressed and harsh. She was a warrior who had seen her fair share of soldiers like him. Ed was only barely of age. He took a step back creating space she decided to fill again and again, until trapped between her and the bedpost.

"Fight the entire Endarkened Army on your own, succeed where your betters have failed? Please, you are but a child. Put a foot outside that door and you'll get yourself, and your Parabatai killed if she can still be saved."

Those words were like an ice bucket thrown at his face.

"She can!" He exclaimed, and this time the middle aged woman was the one to take a step back. "She is alive, and I can bring her back."

He pulled on his collar to show her. It was crimson red, unlike any other rune anyone had ever seen before — but it was there. Parabatai runes faded when one warrior partner died. Their shared mark was still there, meaning she was still alive.

Mélodie did not seem to share his enthusiasm, instead, she looked between the rune and his eyes, searching for something in her momentary horror. Only now did he understand the potential threat he posed. She thought he might infected with whatever bullshit demonic poison the Endarkened were turned. She was afraid that Jonathan Morgernstern would control him through the bond.

"I am fine," he grunted. She nodded despite her obvious suspicion. "But Ari is not. She's scared, she's all alone and I need to find her."

"I understand your pain, Mr Longford," she said. "But going after her right now is not going to save her. You need to take care of yourself, and let us work towards a solution."

"Take me to the Silent Brothers, then, or to the Spiral Labyrinth! Maybe they can find a way through me, maybe they can find an antidote or something."

"Edward-"

"Let me save her. Do not make me abandon her."

It took days. Days of asking, begging, being caught sneaking out, raging, being guarded by his own kind. All of them looked at him with pity, for there was nothing worse than loosing a parabatai, well she wasn't lost, was she? He could feel her. He felt compelled to go to her to ease the tight rope that linked them and to rid her of the agony he felt from her. It took days before Mélodie came back.

"You should eat," she told him one day.

"Whatever for?" He asked letting wet oatmeal drop from his spoon. Ari always said this wasn't real food. If she were here, she'd eat some out of politeness and force-feed him the rest.

"Because the Silent Brothers summoned you, they ask that you show up strong."

He gulped the contents of his bowl so fast, he had hiccups the entire way outside of the capital. Alicante and Idris in general, did not have the roads and vehicles that the rest of the world enjoyed, which meant they had to ride on horseback at breakneck speed. He would not let her waste any more of his time. He had gone to her meetings, he had done his part, he had done his waiting; now was the time for answers. He urged his horse on, galloping through the snow until they reached a small stone entrance on the edge of Brocelynd Forest.

"Do no be frightened to find the Silent Brothers are not alone in this research. The Endarkened are a threat to Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike," Mélodie told him.

"Which is why we must cure them."

His tone was hard. She talked like they were the enemy rather than victims. He could not let her speak that way. Once he stepped through the door to the Silent City, Ed was surprised to find it well lit. Many candles, torches and witchlights lined the room made of parchment coloured stone. The flickering lights reflected against crystal and stained glass he could not see from outside. A statue of the Angel marble white, stood proudly in the centre.

It was like he entered a kaleidoscope. A whirlwind of colours that seemed too bright and too cheery. On most days, Ed would have welcomed it. Today, he wished for the serious gloom that claimed most of Silent City.

Edward Longford, you are welcome in this space where Shadowhunters and Downworlders alike may join, said Brother Zachariah.

All the brothers looked the same. All of them struck fear, even among their own people, they hardly looked human. The particulars of their investiture rituals remained a well-guarded secret through the ages; yet some things could not be hidden. All of the men that lived in the Silent City in a strange telepathic community, were scarred, mutilated. Ashen as the dead, their cheeks were carved into with quietude runes, and their eyes and mouth were sown shut with several lines of marks.

Brother Zachariah was easy to remember for he showed very little of these elements. While his brothers had the agelessness of immortality changing their bodies, Brother Zachariah looked to be in his early twenties. His eyes and mouth stayed shut through no apparent enchantment or marks, though the quietude runes were drawn on his face, it looked like any other mark on any other shadowhunter. Ed had often wondered what made him so special that he was exempt of the usual ritual, planned to research it even, but today, the thought did not even cross his mind. He had more to think about.

"I'm here to help find a cure. To save my parabatai," he told the man.

And we are all here in the hopes we can.

His gaze — or his shut eyes… strange — moved in the direction of Mélodie: she would stay behind. He started toward a narrow archway on the other side of what Ed thought of as a Sanctuary of sort, and the latter followed. Before he could vanish into the darkness of the Silent City, Mélodie's wistful voice struck him loud and clear.

"I never meant to hurt her. I tried to find a family willing to keep them together," she said. "I hope you'll both get to understand that adults aren't all powerful."

He did not answer. The staircase that led deep down into the center of the Earth, into the dreary and black corridors of the Silent City were wet and cold. It did little to soothe his fiery skin, the scorch still running in his veins and bleeding from his parabatai rune.

They are waiting for us.

"Who is, exactly?"

A scream echoed in the stone corridors, sending a shivering chill deep into Ed's bones and stilling his heart. His hand was at his seraph blade, his eyes alert and his stance wide to withhold any attack. Silence returned. Brother Zachariah behaved as though he did not hear a thing.

"What was that?"

Many experiments are made in an attempt to save them. Some of them are painful, as what will be done to you will be. Are you sure you are willing to subject yourself to such a thing? If Ed didn't know better, he would think Brother Zachariah's emotionless, accentless, humanityless voice showed concern.

"Nothing will keep me from saving my parabatai," he said decisively, maybe even defensively.

They entered what Ed first thought would be an alcove, only to find a wide circular room in which many Silent Brothers stood immobile, like statues in a graveyard. They were not alone. A young woman with brown hair and a man with a tail were hunched over a book of spells and ingredients.

This is Tessa Gray and Aloysius Woe, scholar warlocks of the Labyrinth.

Ed was so desperate he even imagined Brother Zachariah's voice soften when he said the woman's name. Wait… wasn't Theresa Herondale's maiden name Gray? Ed's shoulders squared with a breath of hope. If she was here, then the warlocks were truly trying to help. Not that he had doubted it before, but… She had a personal interest in the matter.

"What we will do today will be quite painful," Tessa said with a gentle, motherly voice. "If there should be a moment, any moment at all, where-"

"Don't worry about my wellbeing," he said.

"You need to take care of yourself too, young lad," Aloysius told him, not without empathy.

"I am."

He was one half of a whole. Taking care of Ari, saving her, having her back. It would make the pain go away, he would be whole again, she would be right again. With a "very well", Aloysius turned around to fetch the ingredients and started to display them around the room, in what looked to be precise placement. Silent Brothers took their steles out and drew runes that glowed gold, blue, and red, unlike anything Ed had ever seen.

"I'll need a little bit of blood." He gave Tessa his hand, didn't flinch when she cut through his palm. It was numbed and prickled at the same time by the constant heat he had been feeling since Ari was- turned. "I will also need you to give me access to your mark."

He blushed slightly at that. The collar of his shirt was too high to simply just pull on it during the entirety of the ceremony. She looked amused by this but looked away as he pulled the piece of clothing over his head. She directed him at the center of the circle of err - many things, and instructed him to kneel.

They told him it was going to hurt, he never doubted their word. But he did not expect they would anticipate the pain to reach a level that would make them think he needed something to hold, and something shove between his teeth — "bite on this, lad."

A Gregori that was not Brother Zachariah took his place in front of the kneeling shadowhunter. This one was so devout, he had not only stitched his eyes and mouth — he erased them.

Brother Havilah is an expert in parabatai bonding and infernal souls. He will be directing the ritual, Brother Zachariah explained.

Brother Havilah. Ed's nose flared, his jaw clenched. That was Christopher that bastard. Ari may have forgiven him, understood him. He fled to the Silent City, became a Silent Brother in order to flee the grief, the pain, everything that made him human after the death of his family. What did he do in the mean time? He abandoned them. They could have stayed together, he was eighteen! Instead, he left them.

Ed's blood boiled, and not because of the bond. She forgave him, but he didn't. Diane didn't have a choice, Mélodie tried, Christopher? It was his decision. He was weak.

Tessa Gray took her place behind him and joined her delicate hand with the betrayer's parchment fingers. Her other hand dripped in his blood gripped the top of his head as she started chanting. He could feel his sin, his blood come alive. It was nothing compared to what happened next. The brother shoved his hand into Ed's rune.