CHAPTER 4.

HOT AND COLD

The next week, I was starting to pay attention to the lectures. It felt like I was driven for a change. Not because I wanted to succeed, but because I was afraid of failing. Afraid of imposing my powers on innocent people. It became something I needed to do. I had to command my power.

Whatever the motivation was, I embraced it. Each day, it felt like my motivation shifted. But whatever it became, I pursued it. That developed into confidence, which surprised me. The routine each day started to repeat, so I got accustomed to it. It went from a strain to a grind, and then a grind to a routine.

By weeks end, I felt satisfied with my progress. It was the first time I could tell myself that in a long time. Something about this mental workout had begun to condition me.

My physical condition soon followed. With my mind stronger, I improved my strength, conditioning, and my agility. The workouts weren't filled with dragging, instead I was gliding. And pretty soon, I was soaring.

Sunday evening, I was sitting and watching television with most of my classmates in the main room of the dorms when Tsuyu returned, after being away for two weeks. Everyone greeted her in friendly fashion, while she smiled and accepted several hugs, and some of the guys politely helped her with her luggage. Apparently, her internship had taken her on some adventures, and Ochaco and her other friends inquired about them.

Meanwhile, I remained quietly sitting on the floor next to the couch, staring ahead, not at the T.V.

At some point, Tsuyu found some relief from her classmates, and she came to take a seat next to me on the floor. "Hey, Eko," she greeted me in a soft voice.

"Hey," I answered, hardly containing my relief in seeing her again after so long. "Welcome back."

"Thank you," she said, making herself comfortable as she sat cross-legged. "How have you been?"

"Uh…" I wasn't sure how to begin. On one hand, it had started off agonizing, but by now I felt more assured of myself. "Started cold, ended hot," was my way or summing that up quickly.

"And still hot?"

"Warm, I guess." My lack of wit was abundant.

To my relief, Tsuyu just smiled and shook her head. "As long as it's not cold."

"Can't cold be good, too?"

"That game again?" She giggled and held a finger to her chin. "I suppose you're right. It depends on the person. Cold works for some, while hot works for others. For example, frogs need warm weather."

"You like it warm?" I asked. It was sort of a dumb question. She playfully shivered and held her arms across her chest, illustrating the point. "Right. Your Quirk," I recalled. "Guess I tend to overlook it quite easily."

"And you think people overlook you and your Quirk, am I right?"

Once again, she had me. "It's not that I overlook people's Quirks. It's just that I don't think most people have to deal with effects to their brains from their powers."

"Good point," she admitted, glancing back toward the others, to see if anyone else was watching them. Upon discovering that we had some solitude, she reached for my hand. "Can we go to our spot tonight?"

"Don't you mean your spot?" I attempted to correct her.

"I like sharing it with you, though," she confessed.

"Yeah, I'll go."

Her eyes flickered joyously, and she delivered a smile. "Good. Midnight again. Or as soon as things quiet down here in the dorm."

"Aren't you tired?" I asked for some reason.

"A little. But not too tired to sit and talk for a little while."

Considering how badly I needed to share my recent experiences, I wasn't going to do anything to oppose a private discussion.

It was earlier than midnight, but I left the dorm with Tsuyu this time. Everyone had exams tomorrow, including me, but Tsuyu had been given an extension due to her internship. Considering how important her mission had been the past two weeks, the school granted her a lot of leeway.

Once we reached the pond, I asked her about her recent work. Apparently, she'd gone out to the middle of the ocean, where some pirate ships were at large. Not the cliché pirates from movies, but rather simple ones attacking traveling merchant ships at night to steal their loads. Selkie led his team to track down some of the most notorious pirate vessels, and they successfully rounded up all the bad guys. As Tsuyu told me about her experiences, I realized how serious she was about all this. It was dawning in more and more that this was the path for her.

Meanwhile, I was on the wrong path completely.

"Enough about me," she said at some point. "I know you wanted to tell me something earlier. I'm all ears, now."

"You know me that well?" I was embarrassed but had to accept it. By now, Tsuyu knew more about me, including about how I suffered from stress. "Okay, well I tried talking to All Might at one point, and he told me to command my Quirk. And I went to the city and used my Quirk to stop some guys from trespassing in an abandoned building." After that, I couldn't help but pause. Revealing the third event wasn't quite so easy.

"That was two things," Tsuyu pointed out. "Don't stories like these come in threes?"

How did she put that together? "I saw a guy. Sitting at a bus stop. And… I thought he was attractive. I don't know where it came from, but I felt something. Then I walked over toward him… but then I backed off and left. The urge vanished soon after."

Tsuyu looked confused, as she often did when it came to my methods of describing my life experiences. "Do you think it had something to do with your Quirk?"

"It had to," I replied.

"And you told me before you felt like you were oozing out your power, and that it could be affecting you?"

"Pretty much."

She scratched her chin as she thought it over. "Well maybe your Quirk needs to be evaluated with advanced equipment. It's possible you have something wrong with your health. I wonder if they have a way to do that at the U.A."

"Even if they do, I don't want to tell anybody."

"Eko-Chan, please. You could be in danger."

For some reason, I didn't feel like I was in danger. My burden was more of a depressed suffering, rather than a life-threatening disease. However, what did I really know about any of it? "Okay, well I guess I can ask the teachers tomorrow. I don't know what to do otherwise."

With a nod, Tsuyu grabbed a hold of my arm and squeezed it, as if she was worn out from the heavy discussion. "I missed you while I was away."

"You did?" Why did I keep asking her if she was serious when she revealed her compassion?

"Of course, I did. I thought about you a lot." After saying that, she seemed to be motivated to ask about my feelings yet again. Even so, she was holding it in.

In truth, I still resisted the urge to have those feelings… but I really felt the same way about her. "I missed you. At first, I was miserable all week. Then the next week, I started to get more focused on my training, and I feel like I improved a lot. Maybe if I keep it up, I won't keep on feeling depressed."

"It may take more than just that," Tsuyu mentioned thoughtfully, "But yes, I'm glad to hear that you've been getting stronger. We should train together sometime. I think we'd make a strong team."

There were numerous challenges that took place on campus where the students cooperated to perform hero training and competitions. Since I was still new, my involvement in most of these had been next to nothing. However, if the teachers became aware of how powerful my Quirk is, they'd ban me from all the competitions for sure.

The two of us switched over to a gentle silence. For a good time, we sat there enjoying the serenity of the night sky, with the moonlight shining down on us. In truth, this was the only friend I really had. The only person I could confidently declare was my friend. Regardless of the other circumstances surrounding our relationship, she was certainly someone that was providing me with warmth. Warm or cold? Did it matter? I didn't have a preference. At least, I kept on telling myself that. Maybe I was beginning to change in temperature.

"Hey Eko-Chan?"

With the silence disrupted, I turned to look at her. "Yeah?"

Her cheeks grew red, and she looked down, trying to avoid my eyes. "I… really like you." From her behavior, it was as if it was incredibly difficult for her to get the words out. Even though it had been fairly easy for her to admit her feelings for me previously, this time it came with more effort. And this time, her statement had extra gusto behind it.

I didn't have a thermometer. I didn't know how to check my temperature, and thus I didn't know how to respond.

"I know you told me you're not interested," Tsuyu added on, keeping her gaze pointed down. "But I just wanted to tell you how I honestly feel. If you… ever feel like you are willing to open up your heart in that fashion… I really hope you'll do it for me."

Just like that, the burden fell upon me. And with it, the stress. "Why do you have to tell me that?" I responded, starting to grow more animated. "I just wanted to come here to relax. I don't know how to handle those types of burdens. I don't know the first thing about relationships."

Then she raised her head, and tears were flowing from her eyes. "I'm… sorry…"

Somehow, despite my resistance, I saw the path. It was like it all came to me, with just several moments to weigh it. Now that I'd improved my mental strength, the stress wasn't a burden. Instead, I saw how I could do what was right for both of us. All I had to do was get the words out. "Tsuyu… I can't return those feelings. And until I figure out everything about my Quirk, I don't even want to try. Not with anyone. Before I do anything like that, I need to fully understand the depths of my powers, and how to avoid using it recklessly, so that no one gets taken advantage of. Right now, I still have a long way to go."

"But… I will make the walk. In fact, I'll start running. I won't sit around and waste away. I can at least promise you that."

When I wrapped up, her tears dried, and she managed to give me a faint smile. "I understand. And I respect your decision."

"Thank you," I said graciously. "And also thank you, for all the help you've given me."

"Anytime you need help, just ask me." Her willingness to provide me with aid, even after I rejected her, would stick in my mind for a long time.

"Same to you," I added. "To be honest… you're my only friend."

"That puts pressure on me," she joked, helping to shift the mood to a more positive one.

"I'm just getting you back for doing that to me," I said as well, hoping to lighten up my cold-hearted reaction to her confession from earlier. We both laughed, sending it behind us, while we proceeded onward. At least, for now that would suffice. "Seriously, though. You really are my only friend. I don't know if I could balance a second friend."

She just shook her head in astonishment. "You really don't want to talk with the others?"

Once again, I resisted that option. "As long as my Quirk could potentially influence their brains, I don't want to interact with them. The best thing is to stay away."

"And you said it's okay to interact with me? Because the Quirk doesn't affect me?"

I paused before responding. "Well… so far, it hasn't changed you at all. If I notice any changes, I'll have to point them out."

"What if you don't notice the changes?" she brought up. As I fought to figure it out, she looked like she realized where this was going, and waved both hands back and forth. "Forget I said anything. We've been fine this whole time. Let's just… stick with things the way they are."

At this point, I really didn't want to become distant from my only friend, so I nodded in response. "Okay, we'll do that."