Hello y'all!

It's been a while since the last chapter, but since I'm done with the translation of chapter 5, here you go with chapter 4!

Back with Roy's POV. He'll deal with Hughes (since this story is set before the beginning of the manga, of course he's here!), and struggle with that damn array.

I may have draw a little something to accompany this chapter (the end of the chapter), and it's the cover image for the fic. You'll be able to find it in better quality on my tumblr: musing-and-music

I hope you'll like it!

Enjoy!

After he had set Riza to bed, Roy collapsed on his couch, suddenly unable to open his notebook and try to solve the mystery of Meredith Hubert's array. Grumman's revelations were too fresh and filled all his mind. Why had he chosen to tell his past and reveal his link with Riza in such circumstances? Was it because of the excuse he'd found to explain her absence after the arrest of the Transformer?

Roy raised his head and observed the ceiling. Riza was Grumman's granddaughter. Her mother had fled with Berthold Hawkeye, and the man might have been happy to take a nice girl away from officers that could have wooed her. Roy didn't recall seeing photos of Elizabeth Hawkeye during his apprenticeship. However, if Riza looked a lot like her, it explained why Grumman had recognized Riza the first time he'd seen her. It could mean that Riza was as beautiful as Elizabeth. Roy muffled a swearing as he realised that he and his master loved the same kind of women. Riza was subtle about it, but Roy knew now that she was as tenacious and strong-willed as her mother. More than once, Riza had shown her stubbornness whatever her age or the circumstances. She'd a way to tell him her disagreement with a severe glance and a dubious frown, or a way to speak her mind and expose her arguments that left Roy and his subordinates often unable to retort anything.

He missed Riza. He missed all of her. Her work efficiency, the way she convinced him to get back to work, the support she gave each guy of the team, her knowing each one's taste in coffee or tea, her calming presence at the end of his reunions with high-ranked officers, her professional demeanour during their missions, the way she slipped in her character's skin during undercover missions… He missed all of that. But he missed not only the Lieutenant, but the woman herself. Her blond hair, she let down too rarely, her amber eyes, so expressive when her face stayed blank, her sweet smile when she stroked Hayate's fur or spoke about a pleasing subject… He missed her.

It didn't matter to him that she was Grumman's granddaughter, that he had watched her thanks to him, he still felt the same. He would put all his energy to find a way to get her back to normal himself. He would put all his energy to take care of her as a baby.

He spent the next day looking after her, walking Hayate with her in the park, feeding her when she wanted and changing her when he smelt the bad odour from her nappies. It was only when he managed to detach his eyes from her sleeping fragile frame that he dived in his research.

Bit by bit, he found out that the array included a factor of time that had taken twenty-five years off Riza and Meredith Hubert's appearances. If he managed to find this factor and how to modify it, he would be able to reverse the transmutation. The thief would stay silent anyway, and he was too proud to ask for her help. He wanted to be sure the circle would work before testing it, even on Meredith. Since the War, he made a point of refusing human tests, even on small transmutations. He'd made too many innocent people suffer, and even for criminals, there were more appropriate sentences.

In the middle of his research, the phone rang. Roy was so focused he didn't hear it at first. When mini Riza began to cry, he rose and tried to calm her down before picking up the phone. He raised a brow when she stopped to cry as soon as he had the phone in his hand.

"Mustang's speaking."

"Roy! It's me!"

Maes. Roy chastised himself when he realised he hadn't spoken with him for a few weeks. Last time he was in the middle of the investigation about the Transformer, and for once, Hughes had been comprehensive. Still, he'd annoyed him for a good fifteen minutes with his wife and daughter but had encouraged him at the end of the call.

"Hughes! To what do I owe this phone call?"

His friend's joyful voice rang through the phone. "I've learnt that your investigation is done, so I was wondering how you were doing. You did a great job, by the way. Central HQ brass liked it."

"That's good to hear."

"I've heard something else." Hughes' voice became inquiring. "What about this story of a baby, and Hawkeye in time off? I hope you don't use the fact she's not here to go wild! A baby appearing when she's not here can raise a lot of questions."

Roy contained his sigh. He knew what his friend implied. "I've already talked with General Grumman and certified him I wasn't the father of this baby girl." He said in a calm voice.

"If she's not your daughter nor Hawkeye's, who's she?"

Roy glanced at mini Riza, nestled in the crook of his arm. She stared at him, her head tilted, as if she was waiting for his answer. "She's Hawkeye."

He heard Maes choke and utter a loud "What?", then Gracia's voice asking about his health.

"It's a long story, and I don't know if it's safe to talk about it on the phone."

"No worry then!" Hughes exclaimed. "I'm coming to East City Tuesday for the week. I must look through the court archives for a case, so I'll be able to take some time for you. You can count on me for dinner on Tuesday night!"

Roy smiled, amused. "You go where you want, as always."

"You can't change me on that," Maes replied.

Roy could perfectly imagine the mischievous light in his best friend's eyes. A wide smile lightened his face as an idea came to his mind. "What about Gracia and Elicia? Won't they come with you? I think it's spring break for the Central zone, am I right?"

"It is, indeed, but they thought they could stay at home. The house is big, and Elicia wanted to invite some friends to come over. The flat reserved for visiting officers in East City is too small if she wants to stay inside."

Silence settled for a minute, before Maes spoke again. "You've got something in your mind."

Hughes' insight was strong. Roy wasn't surprised anymore to see him a step behind for promotions when he was a few ranks above in the beginning thanks to the State alchemist examination. His cleverness was one of his best features.

"Would Gracia mind taking care of a six-months-old baby for a few days? The weather is mild here, and the parks are the best place to go out these days. Believe me, I know it after walking Hayate for the last few days. And I think it will be good for the team, you know, not having distractions to work efficiently. I've never thought Riza would do the opposite to motivate us to work."

"Has she never distracted you?" Hughes joked.

Roy choked. The worst thing was that his friend wasn't wrong at all. Roy could spend long minutes observing his subordinate when she was working on a report. The sun lighting her hair, highlighting the amber in her focused eyes was a precious ally. When he found a note by her hand in a file, he thought about her, and the shape of her writing made him think about all these letters he'd written and never sent during his first months in the military. He'd burnt them the day he'd returned from Ishval, unable to know if his feelings would be returned one day. He'd wounded her, he didn't deserve to love her. But he did anyway and kept it a secret. Obviously, he would not tell Hughes she was distracting him at work.

Maes told him to wait for the time he asked for Gracia's opinion. Roy took a toy to occupy mini Riza during the phone call. Instead of taking the stuffed dog he gave her, she wiggled to leave his arms and fell on the sofa, where Black Hayate climbed, jolly. Roy tried to protest, but she looked so happy as she patted him on the head and touched his ears. He wanted to take the best photo of her and knew Maes would laugh at him. But he couldn't do that. He and the team had decided that no photo of Riza should be taken for her safety. If someone were to find them, they would for certain be in trouble.

"They will be really happy to help!" Hughes said as he took the phone again. "Elicia jumped when she learnt she would see her uncle Roy again. She doesn't understand why you must take care of a baby, so I'll let you explain," he added, his bright smirk perfectly audible for Roy.

Roy sighed. "All right then, I'll see you Tuesday for dinner, at my place?"

Hughes agreed. When he hung up the phone, Roy felt a weight being lifted from his shoulders. The call hadn't lasted for too long, and he was now able to free the guys from a task they did with joy but wasn't their job in the first place. Even if that allowed them to learn how to take care of a baby.

Mini Riza's needs set the pace of the next few days. She woke up at the same time, maybe an unconscious memory of her life, and forced Roy to wake up earlier than usual. He dressed and fed her, walked Hayate, before heading for the HQ. The first days, he arrived an hour before his usual time and got to work as soon as his subordinates were here. Before that if he'd the time, he checked his notes on Hubert's array or played with mini Riza. As time passed, he realised that even if Riza wasn't here, some things didn't really change. They spoke about the same things (Havoc's love life, the last movies or books Fuery and Falman had seen and read, chess…), and they took their coffee break at the same time. But the coffee didn't taste the same, they worked with a different spirit, and his heart squeezed each time he saw his Lieutenant's empty desk. His reports were done right and in time, but his motivation was only the perspective of more exciting and useful tasks. These tasks were mainly his research or taking care of mini Riza. The baby was usually calm, but each time she needed something, she made sure to be heard.

On Tuesday evening, Maes, Gracia and Elicia knocked on his door. Elicia was immediately enthralled by mini Riza and insisted on feeding her. The meal was good, as was the company. Roy talked about the events around the Transformer case, and both parents shared tips to take care of a baby, so the next days or weeks would happen in the best way. Gracia was bemused when Roy told her that mini Riza already slept through the night. The hypothesis of her adult unconscious seemed plausible and Gracia smiled knowingly.

The pace of the days changed, and instead of bringing mini Riza to his office, he dropped her for the day at Hughes' rented flat. His work was the same, and the team was more efficient, even if they often asked about mini Riza. One way or another, the office seemed emptier than usual. They missed someone, and Havoc didn't hesitate to say it.

"Elizabeth may not be like Hawkeye, but her presence was a good thing. I was happy to take care of a baby like her. At least, she gave me a reason to reduce my consumption of cigarettes." He said as he took a puff of his new cigarette.

"I'm happy Hayate is still here," Fuery said. "I can walk him and feed him when you can't, sir."

"You are the only one who can do that, Master Sergeant Fuery," Falman replied in a flat tone.

"Don't count on me for that!" Breda glanced, worried, at the dog who'd raised his head when he'd understood they were talking about him. Roy decided that they needed to go back to work or their break would be in an earlier hour than planned. But the time on the clock stated that said hour had already been exceeded.

"Since you speak about it, Fuery, I think it's time for Hayate to go outside!" Roy said as he rose up. "Falman, do you mind preparing our coffees?"

Roy ate every night with the Hughes', before working on the circle for several hours. He got to bed tired, sometimes frustrated, but he hadn't had any nightmares as he did for five years. He didn't know what to think about that, the sixteenth of May approaching each day passing. Should he ask Riza to come with him when she would be back to normal? Or should he go alone, for the deadline to return the RSVP cards was coming too?

Elicia told him with a beaming smile what she had done during the day, the bottles she'd given "Libeth" as she called mini Riza, all the times she'd played with her, helped to push her trolley in the parc, the birds she'd seen, the drawings she'd made… Fortunately for Gracia and her daughter, the weather had stayed mild for all their stay in East City, so they'd been able to go out every day.

Maes told Roy he'd been invited too to the parade and the gala for the anniversary.

"They invited all the officers, but no soldiers, none of those who lost something on the battlefield. They hadn't planned a ceremony for the fallen soldiers."

It was a victory celebration that didn't consider those who'd given their lives, their bodies and minds to an empty cause. At least for Roy, it was an empty cause. Yet, where there was a victory, it was thanks to the people's blood. A government that didn't recognize how lives were worth didn't deserve to celebrate a victory in such a way.

For the last night the Hughes would spend with him, Roy booked a table for them and his team in a restaurant. They enjoyed the dinner and the pleasantries, far from the military and its problems. Far from alchemy and its accidents. Far from Riza and her smiles.

When he closed the door of his flat, Roy sighed and glanced at mini Riza who was sleeping soundly in her cradle. At least she didn't have to live the same hardship as him. These weeks in her baby body would be the best for years, he was sure of that. She could rest, play, think about something else than the burden weighing on their shoulders. He was the one who'd given her own burden, by killing with the secret she'd entrusted him with, by imposing her to become his ethical barometer. He laid her in her cot and looked at her for several minutes, her calm breathing soothing him. He missed Riza, although he knew for sure that he would miss some things of this unusual life once it would be over.

After nights of intensive research, he managed to find the factor that allowed to change the apparent age of someone. But something bothered him. He couldn't find how equivalent exchange was respected. How the lost or gained years were compensated? He coded his latest discoveries and leaned on his chair, despondent because of this last question. He couldn't transmute anyone without a clear answer to this matter.

He rose to bring a sleeping mini Riza into her cot and observed her with tender eyes. Was it like that every day when one was a parent? He wondered about that for some time now and wanted to share his feelings. Hughes would know for sure, but he would jump on this opportunity to tease him and urge him to marry soon. But… Roy glanced at mini Riza, who squeezed her small fist against her cheek. Fraternization laws opposed against any form of loving relationship and knowing Riza, if she felt the same way, it wasn't certain she would accept to have a secret relationship with him, for they couldn't do more than exchange glances when they had so much to work for, when their goals were still so far from them.

Taking care of mini Riza had awoken a desire he didn't know he had. He wanted to have a family. And he didn't want to have it alone. He had one person in mind to stay beside him for the rest of his life. Since she'd entrusted him with the secret of flame alchemy, since she had been under his command, watching his back, he'd hoped to change things between them. But the laws and their own guilt were the main obstacles to any other form of relationship between them.

Roy sighed. He was thinking too far and didn't even know if Riza would return his feelings. For now, he could tell his thoughts to mini Riza, who would never tell anyone. He smiled lightly before kissing her forehead. The baby moved, stretched, and turned without waking up, and her hand found the stuffed dog, squeezing one of its legs.

It was becoming urgent to find the way to get Riza back to normal as the ceremony approached. General Grumman asked him at least once a week how he managed with his research and the baby. The excuse of the ill cousin still worked, and the absence of the lieutenant didn't look suspect, as long as she returned before too much time passed. Hawkeye was well known for her professional behaviour, and not seeing her for so long could surprise some people. During a meeting, another Colonel tried to joke. "She got tired of your fickle manners and your tendencies to procrastinate, so she left you, Mustang!"

Roy's scowl shut him off. "Lieutenant Hawkeye has her own reasons to take some days off, and she'd deserved them. She's her own reasons to be part of my team, Colonel Cagiva," he said in a deep, menacing voice. "You can be sure that if she intended to ask for another superior officer, she wouldn't ask for one who likes to spread rumours and takes these to get a biased opinion of people."

Roy's declaration during the staff meeting of Eastern HQ put out most of the gossip about him and his subordinate. The investigation on the Transformer's case was almost over, and her trial was set for the following week. Roy was still bothered by the inexplicable disappearance of the stolen watches and clocks. None of the contacted resellers had seen such a big number of clock material, and nothing hinted any potential traffic in the black market, as Madame Christmas' girls had discovered when Roy had asked them about it. It was like these watches had turned into thin air.

Roy was still racking his head on the way to compensate for lost or gained years with the array. The disappearance for good of the clock pieces frustrated him to the same extent than that alchemy problem blocked him. Fed up, he eventually laid on the carpet next to mini Riza. She was playing with wooden cubes and turned and returned in the circle he'd made with cushions. Roy smiled as he observed her, his hand holding his head. She looked like she was training to move. Mini Riza smiled back at him and crawled to him. In less than three weeks she'd made enormous progress on her motor ability, and sometimes Roy wondered if there wasn't something more than a baby in this tiny body. But her innocent smirks she gave him made him forget about his wonderings.

Mini Riza sat next to him and gave her one of the cubes, a serious look on her face. Roy took it and described each face in turn. The colours, the painted animals, the feeling of the wooden surface, the weight of the cube… he spoke about all he could before skipping to another subject.

"It will seem strange to tell you about something mostly adults think. But I feel like you're the only one I can tell this." Roy stroked the baby's hair, and she looked at him intently. "This peaceful life, with a kid, I want it. I want to live it, but not alone. Anyway, if I have children, I won't be alone. And I think that two is a good number to take care of a bunch of mini Roys, as unruly as I am and not as clever as you. I can't see this daily life with anyone other than Riza. When we were young, I saw how we could live like that. And now, because I'm taking care of you, I began to want more. I miss Riza, and I know that once all will be back to normal, my life will be the same as before. I'll lose that peace of mind I have when I'm with you, Mini Riza. I'll find my beautiful and strong Riza with her wounds and her obstinacy. I'll find my Riza, my adjutant, the only woman I cannot love and the only one I love. I'll keep this feeling, this dream of quietude, of family life for myself. I'll keep it in my heart for the day it'll be possible to make a reality of this dream, if she wants it."

Mini Riza clung to his collar and rose to take her face to his. Roy saw her shining amber eyes, and she kissed his nose. It was unexpected, but not unpleasant. Roy smiled, and when she began to laugh, he kissed her back on her nose.

"I hope that my children will be as quiet and adorable as you are, Mini Riza!" he exclaimed. "After all, if they can be a reality, they would inherit Riza's qualities, so it's possible."

Still laying on the floor, he took the baby in his hands and raised her above him. She shrieked joyfully and her laugh was endearing. Roy wanted this moment to last forever. He wanted her not to be Mini Riza, but his own daughter. He wanted Riza to appear at the door to watch them tenderly. He wanted so much.

But he'd to be more realistic. It wasn't for tomorrow. His priority was to find an answer to his alchemical problem. He put his head against the pillows and tried to think as Mini Riza wriggled on his stomach. Nothing came to his mind, though.

Mini Riza hit lightly on his chest and he looked down at her. Somehow, she'd managed to take his State alchemist watch from his trousers pocket and waved it in front of him with a smile.

"You seem to move pretty well, now!" Roy brightened up.

She was still waving the watch, but her smile disappeared, and she gave him a serious look. Roy frowned. What was happening? Was she trying to tell him something? He looked at the baby, the watch, the baby again… She was observing him expectantly.

What if… Realisation hit him. It would explain the vanished watches and clocks! Mini Riza saw the understanding light in his eyes and laughed. He laughed in turn and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you! I have to write this down before I forget! Then, I'll have some time to think about why your baby face looked like my Lieutenant's for an instant…" He winked at her, and she gave him her usual innocent smile.

Roy almost ran into his office, Riza's cot in his hand. He took the baby in his arms.

"Falman, find the exact list of all the watches and clocks that Meredith Hubert has stolen!"

"What happened, sir? Havoc asked.

Falman took out the file from its drawer and looked through it carefully.

Roy gave them a victorious smile. "We're going to get Hawkeye back to normal."