We were born to be together (torn apart)
"Do you cook much Max?"
Max looked up from her food, cheeks stuffed with chicken and eyes wide open in shock. It took her a moment to process Rossi's question since she had been caught completely off guard. Her face reddening as she attempted to swallow her food so she could actually respond to him. She was now deeply regretting the choice to inhale her food as soon as Penelope had given it to her.
Rossi smiled as the girl placed down her chopsticks so she could gulp down some water, leaning against Spencer's desk.
The other family members were currently eating together up in the round table room. But as soon as Max had gotten her box (Penelope had written names on all the boxes with an assortment of sparkly pens) she had gone straight back to the bullpen, sitting in Spencer's chair. Rossi had spotted her through the round table room's windows, downing her eggroll.
Finally forcing the last of it down, Max let out a breath before clearing her throat. Her face was still red from the mixture of surprise and embarrassment.
Once she had regained her composure, she shook her head, "God no… I can't even boil water without it ending in a call to the fire department."
Rossi gave her an amused look, "So you must be pretty used to these then am I right?" He gestured at the take-out container resting on her lap.
Max closed the container, eyes lighting up at the sparkly blue heart written next to her name, "When Spencer isn't home to cook yeah… So – Sometimes he'll prep meals for me if he has the time." She's given the image of her husband chaotically flying around their little kitchen and she bites her lip to keep it from quivering.
Rossi raises his eyebrows, "No kidding? Your man cooks?"
She nods and swallows the lump that's growing in her throat – it hurts, "He… He always says he doesn't hold a candle to you…" She's proud of herself; her voice didn't even tremble.
He points down at her, "And don't you forget it…"
Max smiles and it travels straight to her eyes, it's enough to pass over to the older man's face.
A laugh echoes from the round table room and the two of them look up towards the commotion. Tara's father must have said something hilarious because Kristy is beaming, and Penelope's shoulders are shaking. Max is glad to see Kristy smile, she looked exhausted.
"Didn't even know the kid cooked…" Rossi ends the silence, gaze still on the laughing bunch.
Max looked back down at her sparkly, blue name and hummed, "Cooking is essentially a form of chemistry. At least that's what he always says… It explains a lot because I was shit at chemistry."
Rossi chuckles, "I never even realized the kid ate… I just assumed he lived off of coffee and scholarly articles."
Her eyes went up to the framed photo of her glaring, "He had to pick it up… To make sure his mom was eating right you know?"
"I suppose that makes a lot of sense – Spencer's always had a knack for taking care of people." He's brought his attention back down to her, his eyes are sending her comfort.
Max sighs, "Wish he'd let me take care of him."
He chuckles again, "He's about ten times as stubborn as he is nurturing." He pauses and Max huffs, "But you know what? I can tell you're just as hardheaded – maybe even more so…"
She groaned and leaned over to rub her eyes, she was exhausted, "Well statistically we had to have at least one thing in common."
Immediately she brings down her hands, looking up at Rossi in shock.
Rossi is smirking, "You're starting to talk like him."
Max presses her lips together, the lump is back, "Ugh – don't remind me. I'm scared that one day I'm going to wake up and start using words like "concupiscent" unironically."
A beat of silence passes – Rossi is looking down at her expectantly.
Max's face gets hot and she coughs, "We – We flirt weird."
His face lights up with realization, "Ah. Then nevermind… I want no definition…ever."
She nods in agreement, face burning. Glad she wouldn't need to explain that she had actually thought it was hot when Spencer had said it to her. The last thing she needed right now was a reminder that she was beginning to find everything her husband did attractive. Even the weird stuff.
"In any case…" Rossi started, changing the subject, "I'm gonna need to try the Reid cuisine when this whole…ordeal is done with. Maybe see where it falls on the David Rossi scale."
Max giggles, "Is that measured from one to ten?"
"Ten being anything made by the hands of yours truly." He replied with a grin.
She laughs again, "I guess I should confirm that with Krystall…"
Rossi scoffed, "Eh what does she know? She's from Jersey."
Max smirks, briefly eyeing his wedding ring.
"I think it suits you well." Rossi adds, his voice a lot softer, "Being married."
Suddenly, Max's bare ring finger feels incredibly heavy, and she gulps, "Yeah… I think it's a good look for me."
He smiles at her use of the present tense, "It's a great look for him too."
Another laugh echoes all the way out to the bullpen; this time it's Kristy. You wouldn't even know she was hurting if you were just looking at her for the first time. She was practically glowing, holding her head high with confidence. Confidence that she'd be seeing her husband soon.
Max abandons her food, placing it out on the desk, "She's really tough. Like she was made to be married into this…this life." She's saying it more as an observation to herself rather than a statement to Rossi.
But Rossi responds by shaking his head, "Nobody is ever made to be a part of this life Max… Some may…adjust better than others but…it still isn't a smooth transition."
Somehow, Max finds it hard to believe that Kristy wasn't always this strong woman who's brave enough to face the risk of her husband's work. She wonders if Kristy has ever felt nearly as helpless as she does right now.
She sighs, "How do I make the constant fear that I'm going to lose my husband easier to stomach? How – How do I keep kissing him goodbye and hold onto that faith that he'll always come home…to me? Because if I keep worrying about him then he's gonna keep worrying about me and – and I need him to know that I can handle this! But how? How do I handle this?" Max didn't mean for it to sound so desperate, so whiny, but she wants an instant solution to this so badly.
Rossi gives her a sympathetic look, "You're a strong woman Max… Hell you've already managed to handle more than the average person is equipped to. Spencer had thought he'd lost you back when you'd had that run in with Cat. And here you are – married to the guy! Do you know what that took? That took guts Max. A strength you aren't giving yourself credit for."
Max bites her lip and swallows hard.
"Marriage is hard Max. It's running a gauntlet for the rest of your damn life. Sometimes you'll find yourself walking hand in hand through a meadow. And then next thing you know you're dragging each other uphill. When it gets hard…we can choose to let go…or…" He rests a hand on her shoulder, "…You hold onto each other for dear life."
Max only needs to ponder his words for a second before she shakes her head, "No… I'm not leaving him to climb up those mountains alone…"
Rossi sees that classic stubbornness return to her eyes, he smiles, "Well – from where I'm sitting – that's a pretty strong thing to declare… I'm sure Spencer is the one who needs to hear it. Never hurts to remind him that his wife is a badass."
She nods, she'll show him she can handle this.
"Rossi!"
The two of them turn towards the glass doors to the bullpen, Luke has just entered through them. He had been in Nina's office helping her look into any possible way anyone could have gotten their hands on an STA.
Rossi is moving to stand up from the desk, "We got something?"
Luke walks up to his own desk and grabs his gun, "Maybe. You and me are going to Las Cruces to look into a robbery at the armory there about a month ago."
Max clenched her fists tightly in her lap, "Be safe." She gives Rossi a worried look.
He smiles down at her and pats her cheek, "We're bringing him back Max. Hold me to that."
She nods slowly, eye following the two men as they run to the elevator. Rossi sends her one last comforting look before the doors close.
Now alone again, Max sucks in a deep breath, she wasn't letting go of Spencer's hand. Not now. Not ever.
Her emotional breakthrough is cut short by the ringing of her phone. She's shocked to see that it was nearly 2 in the morning. What kind of Chinese restaurant is open this late? Even weirder what place is busy this late? Finally, who the hell is calling her at this hour.
An unflattering photo of Michelle is taking up the screen, answering her question.
Max can feel her whole body ache, she hadn't told her family that Spencer was missing. Was she even allowed to? Were the whereabouts of her husband like some sort of government secret? She should probably ask someone.
"Michelle? Why are you calling me this early?"
Michelle responds, her tone annoyed, "Um – maybe because I picked up your wedding dress from the dry cleaners this afternoon and just got a look at it. Max, I don't know what possessed them to put it back in the bag like this but there's a massive rip down the back of the dress."
Max sighs and leans back in the chair, "Is that it?"
Michelle is quiet for a moment, "Is that it? Maxine, it's a huge ass rip in your wedding dress. A wedding that is happening tomorrow – not that I'd need to remind you. At least I hope not."
Max doesn't respond, after the day she's had a tear in her dress seems like such a…trivial issue.
"Maxine? There's still going to be a wedding, right? Your silence is putting me on edge." Her tone has shifted to concerned.
Max bites her lip, looking down at her ring finger, thinking about what Rossi said to her. They were gonna bring him back to her no matter what.
"Of course there's still gonna be a wedding. Don't be a dumbass." Her eyes go back up and land on the back of Penelope's head. An idea pops into her head.
"Can you bring the dress to Quantico? I'll handle it."
"Why are you at Quantico at two in the morning? Don't you have a wedding to be planning?"
"Great, I'll see you in a bit." Max says before hanging up.
Shoving her phone back in her pocket, Max yells, "Penelope!" The blonde hears her through the glass and turns around, expression curious. Max smiles, "Can you sew?"
Spencer is shook awake suddenly by Tara, and he is immediately made aware of how dry his mouth is.
Right. The desert. Stranded.
He can feel all the sand that's stuck to his cheek and his neck; he must have looked insane. He was dreaming about home – about Max accidentally drenching herself while washing the dishes. All the times she's placed a spoon face-side up under the faucet and yet she still regularly makes that same mistake. He bites back a smile; in his dream he had asked her if they should buy her a stepstool so she can see into the sink. She threw a waterlogged sponge at him, sending a glare that was hardly intimidating.
And then their apartment started to shake – and then his eyes were locked onto Tara's.
He tries to not look absolutely drained but Tara's apologetic look tells him that he's failing. He rubs the back of his neck which is now killing him, "Sorry… I'm sorry I didn't realize I'd fallen asleep."
Tara shook her head, "No we all definitely need the rest. I just wanted to wake everyone up before the sun rises."
Spencer then noticed the sky was slowly turning from a dark blue to a purple that originated from an orange glow on the horizon. "Our followers are most likely getting a similar ide-"
He's cut off by a soft, unmistakable humming in the distance.
His blood goes cold, "That's a car engine."
Tara's eyes go wide, for a brief second neither of them knows what to do. And then, without saying a word, both of them run to wake up the others.
Emily lets out a confused moan as Tara tries to quickly explain the situation to her. Spencer goes to where Matt and Alden have been sleeping upright against a rock and he rests his hand on Matt's shoulder. He's wrapped up in both Spencer and Tara's blazers in hopes of keeping him warm. Thankfully, he is a little more responsive than the previous day and actually opens his eyes.
"Spencer?" He slurs out, still very much out of it.
Spencer nods and begins to move to help him stand up, "Sorry to wake you so early but we need to move again."
"Ah – They- They're still after us?" Matt hisses in pain as he straightens out.
Spencer nods again and tries not to look worried, he's not even on his feet yet, "Can you stand?"
If this were Derek, he'd claim he could and even if he couldn't, he would force himself to. Put on a strong face that Spencer could always see through. Because Derek believed that he needed to be a shield – to be the only shield from danger and harm. But this was another reminder for Spencer that Matt Simmons is definitely not Derek Morgan in the slightest.
After another few seconds of trying push himself up, letting out pained cries every time, Matt looks up at him and says, "Not without help…"
Suddenly, Spencer was a shield.
"Okay, I'm gonna come beside you and lift you." Spencer begins to explain what he's doing as he's doing it, pretending he hasn't noticed that soft humming has become just a little bit louder. If he panics and rushes Matt, there's a good chance he'll just make it worse.
Matt rests an arm on Spencer's shoulder and quickly grips on tight as the two of them slowly stand up. Matt grunts and focuses on his breathing as each second becomes more painful than the last.
The blazers fall to the ground and Tara quickly runs over to pick them up, Emily is hobbling after her. By the time Matt and Spencer are fully standing (well…Matt is more leaning but it's better than nothing) Emily has reached Alden and has gently kicked him in the ankle.
He instantly opens his eyes and looks up at her, they all realize he's probably been awake this whole time. That only seems to further confirm Spencer's theory, he had the opportunity to slip away into the night, yet he sat obediently instead.
Spencer and Emily share a look, they really must be his only shot at getting out of this alive. But that left a chilling question; just what the hell were they up against?
"Morning princess," Emily states coldly, "I'm assuming you've realized that you're knights in shining armor are on their way to rescue you."
They can see Alden's jaw clench but otherwise he doesn't respond.
"He's scared…" Spencer thinks, he shifts his weight around so he can better support Matt.
And that's when he remembers that the humming is still getting louder, still getting closer.
He immediately begins scanning their surroundings – trying to determine the best route they can take to avoid their pursuers. As he does this, Spencer says, "We need to start moving now, otherwise their chances of catching up to us – "
And then a gunshot, tearing a hole in the desert's peaceful silence, echoes so loudly that Spencer's head begins to pound.
"Maxine stop biting your nails! That's the most expensive manicure you've ever gotten, and it needs to last until tomorrow! Beyond the ceremony at the very least!" Michelle lets out a wearied sigh and pinches the bridge of her nose, "I swear you won't see me happier than when this damn wedding is over with."
Max turns and sends her sister a glare, "Uh – last I checked it was you people that needed a wedding. Spencer and I were perfectly fine with signing the papers and calling it a day." She hates herself for tilting her head up slightly, hoping to see Spencer sitting on his desk reading like he always does. Expecting him to jump in and defend her – hell she'll take him siding with Michelle (which happens too often for her liking) if it means he'll really be sitting there.
She presses her lips together and slowly brings her disappointed gaze down to her lap. She wishes she would stop doing that – accidentally reminding herself that her husband was in mortal danger.
Michelle sees how quickly her younger sister has sobered up and she abruptly abandons the subject of nails, "Max… You – You know there's nothing wrong with…with pushing the wedding back a few days. It'd give us more time to….to…."
"To find my husband?" Max says flatly, her sister's doubts were just a little too obvious. It was putting a sour taste in her mouth. Michelle could at least pretend she was worried about something else with a little more umph – because right now she wasn't convincing anyone.
Penelope looked up from Max's dress that she'd been patiently mending over at JJ's desk. She looks almost crushed at Max's words, almost as if she had just told her that her cat had died (last she checked, Sergio is alive and well).
Michelle holds her tongue, she has even less experience with this life than Max does. Max knows this – Michelle has never needed to wonder if she's sleeping in her bed alone tonight. And a good chunk of Max is glad that her sister is able to count on a regular routine. That she'll never need to stay up for two days in a row because her husband is lost somewhere in fucking New Mexico. At least she hopes Michelle never needs to.
"I just…" Michelle finally says, "I don't want you to walk down the aisle only to find that nobody is standing at the altar."
Max shakes her head, "We still have plenty of time. It's barely five in the morning and they've already started sending out search parties. I mean – how big could New Mexico possibly be?" She's perfectly aware of how ridiculous she sounds, but she's never been good at thinking optimistically.
This is confirmed by the looks both Michelle and Penelope give her, a mixture of pity and poignancy. It makes Max's guts churn and her face heat up; they think she's in complete denial right now. And maybe she is, but it's the only method so far that kept her from falling into a chasm of despair and lots of tissues.
Michelle looks down at her feet, "Well… I'm scared that you may end up disappointed…"
Another flare of what Max is choosing to call stubbornness (there are too many depressing connotations attached to the word denial) takes over her body and she shakes her head again, "No. No you don't… you don't get it Michelle…they," She gestures towards the round table room where JJ and Nina have been pouring over various documents for God knows what, "They promised me they'd bring my husband home. I'm… I'm choosing to believe them. Believe that they'll save Spencer in time for our wedding. I need to believe that… Believe that I'm going to see him in a few hours." She swallows, "And – And if I push this stupid wedding back then it's like…like I don't believe they can find him in time. That I won't see him in a few hours… I – Michelle I can't give up on them."
Michelle bites her lip, resisting the urge to tell her that pushing the wedding back would not affect how quickly they find Spencer. Max needs to hold onto hope any way that she can, and she didn't want to be the one to make it worse.
Thankfully, Penelope is quick to jump in, "Oh… Sweet girl… Faith is the best thing you can do for him right now."
Max gives her a grateful look, "Not like I can do much else…"
Her eyes begin to water, and she places the dress down on JJ's desk so she can get up and walk over to Max. She then bends over and brings Max's head to her chest, "Max – never, never, never, ever underestimate the power of a little faith… This team couldn't be anything without faith, believe me."
While Max truly appreciates the hug and Penelope's perfume smells like fresh cinnamon rolls and she definitely needs to find out where she got it, she also was having trouble breathing.
She pats Penelope's arm and slowly pulls herself from the older woman's embrace. Once she manages to get free, she smiles up at the blonde (she had hot pink tips for a while but just recently cut them off) and says, "Is this supposed to be Peter Pan? Do you guys have a secret supply of pixie dust somewhere?"
Penelope smiles brightly – eyes twinkling – and replies, "Max, sweetheart, you are truly one of the most refreshing people to talk to you have no idea." She cups Max's cheek and for half a second Max is afraid Penelope is gonna pinch it.
Thankfully, Penelope just pats it before bringing her hands down, "Keep holding onto that faith sweet girl… It keeps all of us going…"
Max bites her lip and nods, Penelope of all people would know what was actually helpful in a situation like this. Her assurances have sent a wave of something warm and bubbly over Max's body (maybe this is from that special grade, FBI pixie dust) and all she can do is wonder how it came so easily. How does Penelope have this effect on people?
Her gentle and comforting approach is not the same as JJ's.
JJ's demeanor is practiced and well-rehearsed, and that's to be expected because she's been doing this for a long time. She's seen every reaction and learned how to counter every response. Penelope doesn't need to counter anything; all she needs to do is…be her. The magic of Penelope Garcia is very much a real thing – and Max had just witnessed it. No – even better – she had just felt it. She was still feeling it right now.
Any sort of tightness in her chest has been obliterated by this perpetual calm that Max can't quite comprehend. She didn't realize she had been clenching her fists this whole time until the moment her fingers relaxed and she could see little crescents decorating her palms.
Michelle doesn't really know what to make of any of this, everything about this world Max has married into…it's nothing like any of the Brenners have faced before. When she encouraged her sister to pursue a relationship with the stranger she spent the day with at a park, she couldn't have predicted that this was the end result.
She crossed her arms – wondering if they should call their dad. She quickly concluded that there was clearly a reason Max hadn't contacted any of them (technically Michelle had contacted her). For a moment, Michelle wonders if she should regret pushing Max to keeping going out with him. Is her sister really better off in this world?
Penelope had just sat back down to continue her work on the dress when the unmistakable tone of an incoming Skype call echoes throughout the room. The three startled women quickly discover that it's coming from the TV in the round table room.
Max immediately tries to calm her heartbeat, the expectation of good news is overwhelming, "The FBI still uses Skype?" She attempts to sound unbothered as she sends Penelope a smirk.
Penelope reciprocates that smirk with a grimace, "Well would you like to teach a team of world class profilers with next to nada computer knowhow the ins and outs of anything else?" The clear malice in her tone suggests that – back when she worked here – Penelope had attempted to do a software upgrade on the team. Obviously, that didn't work out too well.
Before Max can respond, someone has answered the call and Max hears JJ say, "Luke! Please tell me you've found something."
Max is on her feet half a second later, making a run for the stairs. She accidentally slams her hip against the railing when she makes too sharp a turn. But she ignores it and a second later she's standing in the doorway of the round table room.
Luke is in the middle of briefing something to JJ and Nina when he spots her. He stops talking and gives Max a concerned look and that look is scaring her. She pushes down all the screaming in her head that's saying Spencer's dead.
JJ follows Luke's gaze – wondering why he stopped talking – and turns around to see a pale Max. Her hands are shaking and JJ can tell she's anticipating bad news.
She turns back to the screen, "She's okay Luke, keep going."
Luke seems hesitant, but nods and continues, "Anyway… We had just got word back from the search party that went to search north of the wreckage. They had found signs of life…footprints, crushed plants, and…" He looks at Max for a fraction of a second, "…And blood on the rocks."
The warm comfort she got from Penelope is enveloped immediately in a terrible cold that's freezing over her veins. She bites her lip.
JJ sighs, "Well obviously they're running from something… Otherwise they would have stayed near the jet waiting to be rescued." She sounds frustrated; frustrated that the full picture isn't unfolding itself, revealing the true story.
Max's lips part and she needs to stifle a gasp, Spencer still has the Nighthawks puzzle piece with him.
"Running…from the people who shot them down?" Nina adds – her tone is uncertain, she's not sure if she's in a position to provide useful speculation. She's still very much the new kid.
Luke's eyes look worried as he sees Max's demeanor shift, "That's… That's not all we've found…"
Time has slowed down; seconds feel like centuries as Max summons everything inside her to be prepared to hear Luke say they found a body. They found Spencer's body.
The room has started to spin as Luke begins to speak, the ticking from a clock on the wall is practically reverberating throughout her skull. And she realizes she can't do it. She can't bear to hear that she lost Spencer a second time within 48 hours. She could barely keep her balance the first time. She very well may just pass out right there in the doorframe.
"What else Luke?" JJ is just barely able to keep her voice steady and Max wonders if she's thinking the same thing, that any one of her close friends has been found dead.
"When the party was searching the actual jet, they found bullet holes all along the right side."
Max finally wills herself to breathe, bullet holes are not a dead body and that's what she's gonna lock onto.
"Bullet holes? You think shots were exchanged?" JJ inquires, sounding relieved.
Luke shakes his head, "From what I've heard, the party determined that all the shots were incoming. Shot from somewhere outside the plane and into the cabin."
JJ and Nina share a look, "Could they tell if any of those bullets hit their target?" Nina asks, voice trembling slightly at the end of her question.
The man bites his lip, and his eyes are on Max again, clearly not wanting to make this whole experience worse. But Max shakes her head, she knows that they still haven't found any bodies. Ergo, nobody is dead. Spencer isn't dead. And now she needs as many details as she can to grapple onto the fact that none of them are a body. She hates being ignorant – she needs to handle whatever this stupid unfair universe can throw at her. So long as it keeps her husband alive.
Luke recognizes that pleading in her expression and continues, "They can't really say… Plenty of blood was found in the cabin but it could be from any number of things. They were in a damn plane crash."
"What's your best assumption?" JJ asks.
He's silent for a second, clearly organizing his thoughts, "Whoever fired at them… They went back to pick up every single bullet. The party counted 20 bullet holes in that plane but couldn't find a single bullet. Even if someone got shot, we'd have no way of knowing."
JJ scoffed, "If they're that thorough then we probably have no chance of finding any casings either."
Luke nodded, "What we do know is that – shot or not – they managed to get away from the wreckage. They're so far out that four different search parties haven't been able to find them. You don't make great time like that when you've been shot somewhere vital."
Max found herself nodding, seeing the logic. Not that she was any sort of expert on this situation but from the times she had hung out with Luke she just assumed he was. At the very least he knew what he was talking about.
JJ was also nodding and was about to ask him what his next move was when Rossi suddenly appeared. He was panting and leaning into frame.
"Rossi? What's going on?" Luke asked, scooting over a little to give Rossi more space.
Max was back to gripping onto the doorframe for support. Panting means running. Running means he was in a hurry. A hurry to tell them something. Something that could either be very very good. Or very very bad.
Once Rossi was able to catch his breath he said, "I just got a call from the north search party. They just heard a gunshot."
It only takes a second to hit her, and then Max's eyes begin to cloud with tears.
Very very bad news.
There's a cloud of sand that surrounds them as they all drop down to the ground and it wastes no time getting in Spencer's eyes. He attempts to blink it all away, but it only proves to make the situation worse, so he finally settles on closing his eyes.
They stay like that, all flattened out and on the ground for several minutes. During that time no more gunshots are heard.
Spencer opens his eyes and him and Tara share a confused look. His mind is racing as he tries to pin down the most logical explanation as to why a single shot was fired. Firing would indicate that they had located them, that they were simply firing at their target. Yet judging by how distant the sound of the gunshot was there was a low chance that bullet would have hit any of them.
Not to mention it was definitely not as loud and powerful as the sound of a sniper's rifle, further decreasing the chances.
Another option could be they were merely trying to scare them – but they had already succeeded in that by closing in. There jeep engine doing most of the work.
And then, Spencer's whole body went cold.
What if they had found somebody else out here? Wandering the desert for entirely different reasons.
He bit his lip. What if they found a member of the search party the team had sent to find them? The breath was robbed from his lungs within an instant as the next scenario appeared in his mind.
What if a member of the team had been shot?
The image of JJ with a bullet in her skull, lying motionless in the sand, pushed Spencer to his feet.
Emily looked up at him with wide eyes, "Spence! What are y-"
"The longer we just sit here, the more at risk we are of being found."
Without missing a beat, Spencer began to help a hesitant Matt stand up again.
Tara nodded in agreement and began to help Emily up as well – help that Emily begrudgingly accepted. Alden slowly rose to his feet, his mouth set in a grim line as he kept sending glances towards the direction where all the noises were originating.
A wave of anger burned its way through Spencer as part of him wished he could just hand this piece of shit over to whoever wanted him so badly. He had some nerve being scared, after all the turmoil he put innocent women through. He remembered the crime scene photos, the lifeless shells of young girls on metal slabs, the written confession to all of it. And not only did Spencer remember it, he was never able to forget it either.
But as soon as the fire was there, it fizzled out with a deep exhale.
Leaving Alden to die was not fair to any of those girls. Their deaths shouldn't get swept under the rug. Alden deserved to be scrutinized and hated for the rest of his life within concrete walls. And Spencer of all people knows how that fate is so much worse than a quick end with a bullet.
He shakes it off and with that shaking comes a new thought.
The search parties.
The ones he only assumed were out there and trying to locate them.
"We need to get back to the jet." He states, mostly to Tara.
But even Tara, who had been on the same page as Spencer for the most part, gave him an incredulous look. Emily was even more adamant in her doubt, "The jet? Spence we might as well just be walking right back into the line of fire!"
Although he won't dare to say anything, Alden's face spells out his clear agreement with Emily's words.
Spencer shoves his hand in his pocket so his fingers can graze the puzzle piece and distract him from how badly he wants to sink his fist into Alden's face.
"Yeah that's a pretty high risk to be taking right now, especially with them closing in on us." Tara adds, her tone significantly steadier than Emily's.
Spencer licks his dry lips, "If the FBI was able to locate the jet then odds are they've already got the whole crash site secured and set up as a home base for the search parties. Even if we just start heading back in that direction we've got a good chance of running into one."
"But that only works if the crash site was ever actually found. Otherwise we're just throwing ourselves into the lion's den." Emily retorts, this time with a little less snip.
Spence shrugs, "The flight path was already known and radio communication times can help them calculate exactly where we crashed… Plus…you guys have been able to find me with a lot less to go on…"
Emily's face softens and she finds herself nodding; the BAU has solved significantly harder treasure hunts than this. Finding the crash site of a federal jet should be a piece of cake.
Tara also seems to finally see the logic behind Spencer's proposal and Matt has also nodded in agreement.
"We need to have faith in them… Because the only other option in moving further into the desert and as we are now there's no way we'll survive that." Spencer gestures his free hand to all of them. While Spencer and Tara's injuries were not severe, getting dehydrated in the desert wasn't gonna do them any favors. Emily definitely had a concussion and some broken bones (although she refuses to admit when she's in pain). And Matt can barely stand. As they are now, things with only get worse.
Emily and Tara must see that as well – see that they don't have many other options – because Emily sighs in defeat and Tara says, "Okay…with the hope that our team has managed to find where we crashed…let's go back to where we started."
Luckily, Spencer remembers the whole route they took from the plane to their sleeping place and – as stealthily as they can manage – the small group begin their trek to retrace their steps.
Praying that the posse chasing after them didn't get the same idea.
Michelle had given up trying to convince Max to go home and take care of herself (she had bordered on nearly begging her younger sister to go shower). For the past thirty minutes Max had been sitting at a chair in the round table room, resting her head on the surface. Unfortunately her body (which craved sleep) was far too exhausted to let her rest.
The news of the gunshot had pushed her into near hysterics and she barely remembers JJ grabbing onto her hands and ensuring her that nothing was confirmed.
It didn't matter, Max was at her wit's end and that last bit of bad news was the straw that broke the camel's back. She was pushed over the edge and was falling so fast she didn't even remember hitting the bottom.
Penelope and Michelle had heard Max's wailing from down in the bullpen and were quick to run up and investigate. However, JJ quickly began ushering everyone out of the room, stating that what Max really needed was some space. Once the room was empty, she shut the door and then took the seat next to Max.
Her sobs had died too something akin to a pathetic whimper. She sounded like a child.
All the while JJ didn't say anything, she simply held Max's hand and waited for her to catch her breath.
"How do you do it?" She finally said, her voice sounding completely drained, "Lose him."
JJ was taken aback by her question, as it was something she'd never really been asked before.
Max took her silence as confusion and continued while wiping her cheeks, "I mean…you guys have almost lost him way more times than I have. As of right now I'm looking at two and I still haven't even learned about all the times he's been in mortal danger."
JJ nodded, "In his defense, there are a lot of them."
Max gave her a look.
"Right. Sorry. Not helping." JJ smiled sheepishly.
The younger woman sighed and rubbed at her red eyes.
JJ bit her lip before saying, "I…I don't think I'm able to help you all that much. I – we've almost lost Spencer many times that's true… But…" She paused, heavily ruminating on what she could say next, Max wondered why there was so much hesitation. Finally, she resumed, "I – I'm never going to love Spence the way you do. The fear of losing him doesn't impact me the…the same way it impacts you. He's…he's my best friend, yeah, but he's your…. Your other half."
Max sighed but nodded, "That's a really nice way of telling me I'm on my own." She said it flatly and, once again, caught JJ ferociously off guard.
She reared back a bit, eyes wide was she processed Max's words, and then she furrowed her brows and said, "I didn't say you were on your own Max. I can't possibly tell you how you should be dealing with your feelings when I don't even understand them myself. But you know who does understand you?"
Max gave her an expectant look.
JJ smiled, "Spence. Your husband. That man worries about losing you every single day of his life."
Max stiffened, "He shouldn't – nothing's happened that would suggest I was leaving."
There was a beat of silence, JJ pressed her lips together and shook her head, "Spencer has loved a lot…and he's lost just as much. That overwhelming happiness he gets from being with you is completely countered by the feeling that misery is just around the corner. His words – not mine."
She rested her elbow on the table and cradles her head in her hand.
It's the first time Max has noticed how exhausted she looks – her hair is greasy, and she's got dark bags under her eyes. And yet, here she was, consoling a forlorn Max for the thousandth time within the past couple of days.
Guilt creeps up Max's spine and she looks down at her lap, "I… Spending nights at a time in my bed alone was easier than I thought. Although Spence complains that I've become a mattress hog… The weird looks a get from people when I try to explain what my husband does…whatever – people are morons and that's not Spencer's fault. I just…" She dug her fingers into her jeans, "I thought I had this all under control… Sometimes he gets nightmares and maybe he'll end up in the hospital once and a while… And I can accept those are occupational hazards. Hell, I can accept this damn plane crash as an occupational hazard!"
If JJ was startled by her sudden change in tone, she didn't show it.
"I – I guess I'm pissed at myself. I should have the same confidence that Kristy has. The definitive belief that her husband is fine and is going to remain fine. Instead, I keep going into a deeper state of mental anguish and it fucking sucks. I feel like I keep failing him…" She ends off softly, eyes still on her fingers gripping tightly to the denim fabric.
JJ bit her lip, stifling a yawn, before saying, "You've started to talk like him…just a little bit."
Max sighs, "Yeah – you're like the millionth person to tell me that within the past 48 hours."
The blonde responded with a knowing smile, "That's fine…sometimes he talks like you so obviously you both have an equal impression on the other's life."
Max looks up and asks curiously, "He talks like me?"
JJ nods, still smiling, "Yeah – sometimes you'll spit out some fancy and totally unnecessary vocabulary and sometimes he'll cuss."
Max stares blankly at the other woman for a moment, processing the image in her head before chuckling sheepishly, "I'm such a good impression huh?"
JJ's smile transforms into something reassuring, "You haven't failed him at all Max. After all…you're still here…you're still waiting for him…and you still wanna be married to him. I'd say most of that is the exact opposite of failing him… You're doing your best given the situation and that's all he needs."
Max gives her a frown but before she can say anything, the room is filled with ringing.
JJ's eyes go to the TV for a moment before she realizes it's just her cell phone. She stares down at it before her eyes widen and she quickly answers, "Rossi?" Her tone instantly transitions to something serious.
Realizing who it is, Max's grip on her jeans tightens. She can only really hear garbled speech that sounds like Rossi but she can't make out any words. Whatever the older agent is saying, JJ's expression doesn't change. All she's doing is nodding to herself occasionally. Whatever information Rossi is delivering, Max can't glean whether it's good or bad.
After a few minutes of silence on her end, JJ sighs, "Right – okay – you two be careful and keep us updated… Well you didn't get called a loose cannon for being particularly cautious…. Just stay out of danger… Alright, bye."
She hangs up her phone with another sigh and places it face down on the table.
Max's eyes follow the action before going back to JJ, who is now rubbing at her face. A chill runs down Max's spine; now that's an action that speaks volumes.
"What happened? Am I allowed to ask that? It's not classified is it? What am I allowed to know?" She bites her lip in an effort to shut herself up.
JJ raises an eyebrow at her, "You know this isn't the Pentagon right?"
"Well, yeah but this is still the government and…I don't know I just – you know – assume certain things are on a need-to-know basis." Max replies.
The blonde smirks and her eyes sparkle, she's clearly amused.
Sequentially tapping her fingers on the table, she responds, "Even if we had the jet here, there's nothing we could do to help…" She gives Max a weary look before deciding to continue, "That one gunshot they heard has evolved into a whole lot of gunshots."
There was finally a moment of quiet, although Spencer wasn't sure if that meant a stalemate or the opponents trying to get the jump on them.
He lifted his finger off the trigger of his gun and slowly pointed it toward the ground. He had yet to actually fire it, seeing as he couldn't really shoot at something he couldn't even aim at. His breathing had managed to remain even this whole time.
"Is anyone else's ears ringing or is that just me?" Emily finally says after several minutes pass and the silence remains. She lifts herself up off the ground with a groan before rubbing at her temples.
Tara has just rested her own gun in her holster and nods, "It's either deafening loudness or insanity inducing quiet. First thing I'm doing when we get the hell out of here is I'm taking my ass to a spa and enjoying that stupid new-age music."
"I'll get in on that action." Matt adds, wincing as he sits himself up.
Emily chuckles, "You guys are in luck 'cause this lady's a card-carrying member of Serenity Sensations: The Arlington Location. Friends and family get a discount."
"Do they have vodka?" Tara asks, trying to brush some of the dirt off of her front.
Matt tries to lean back on his hands, "Or Shiner?"
Emily pulls what looks to be a piece of dry bush out of her hair, "No… But they have some killer mimosas and a Bloody Mary that doesn't actually taste awful."
Tara shrugged, "I'll take rich white lady drinks."
"Anything for alcohol." Matt says with a sigh.
"How about you Spence? Wanna go get drunk and covered in seaweed with us?" Emily asks, placing her jacket over her head as the sun begins to climb higher into the sky.
Spencer has remained silent since the gunshots ceased, his gaze still casually trailing along the horizon, mentally plotting the best way to get back to the jet without getting filled with bullets.
When he doesn't respond, the three of them share a concerned look (Alden has yet to actually sit up, still cowering from the onslaught of gunfire) and Emily speaks up, "Spencer?"
Spencer inhales deeply, "I'm supposed to get married today." He states it matter-of-factly as if it's something completely casual to bring up.
Eyes widen as the three of them realize that it would be a Friday. The Friday where Max and Spencer were gonna get to stand at an altar.
"Shit Spence… I'm sorry… We were all looking forward to that." Emily went over to him and rested a hand on his shoulder.
He finally tears his eyes away and smiles down at her, "You know? So was I." His tone was surprisingly steady and his eyes are looking more content than upset.
It always threw Emily for a loop to see him so calm in moments of peril. She wondered how long this had been a common thing for him. It certainly didn't surprise Matt and Tara the way it surprised her.
The urgency to be found, the urgency to get home, it all clicked in Emily's buzzing head. He had a wedding tonight; a wedding that was only happening for their friends' sake. Except it's not just for their friends' sake at all is it?
Emily can see now that what started as a hassle has become something incredibly important to Spencer. He's no longer doing this just for them. Finally, he's doing something for himself. Even if it's something as silly as throwing a standard wedding ceremony in his coworker's backyard.
The unit chief bites her lip, gaze lingering on his peaceful expression. After everything this man has been through – the least the universe could do was let him make it to his own wedding. And then Emily remembers the way his eyes sparkled when he talked about Max, about how much he cared about her.
"The universe be damned." Emily thought and straightened herself as best she could before patting Spencer's shoulder and saying, "Well then we better hustle if we wanna make it to that plane."
Spencer gave her a concerned expression, "Emily…are – we…. You are aware that there's a group of armed maniacs…literally just over there?" He vaguely gestures toward the cluster of rocks that have been shooting at them for the past fifteen minutes.
Tara echoes Spencer's concerns, "Yeah there's no question of who has the upper hand here…"
"And so you propose that we all just sit here and wait to get our heads shot off?" Emily frowned and crossed her arms, "Because right now we're just waiting for them to make the first move and I don't like those odds." She then turned back to Spencer and pointed an accusatory finger up at him, "And you sir said so yourself, there's a wedding to be missed if we don't move like yesterday."
Spencer looked down at her, confused, "Emily we can just push the date back….there can't really be a wedding if the bride and groom are – "
"Ugh! Have you no sense of romance? Of drama and beating impossible odds?" She was starting to talk like Penelope despite her tone remaining completely authoritative. Even Alden was looking at her like she was insane.
Again, all Spencer could give her was furrowed brows.
Emily groaned, "Spence – did you just forget what elite team you've been a part of for 15 years?! Helloooo! Our specialty might as well just be beating impossible odds. They should spray paint that on the side of the new jet we're gonna need to allocate more damn funds for!"
Tara and Spencer shared a worried glance.
"My point is – if Will and JJ could get married the same day they stop a terrorist attack, then what's stopping you and Max from getting married a day after we crashed in the desert?"
Spencer smirks, finally seeming to understand Emily's reasoning, "Actually we've been stranded here for two days…and Maxine and I are already married…"
Emily smiled up at him, "Do you want me to pistol whip the snark out of you? Because I'm trying to rally right now and you're just bringing the crowd down." She gestures to the other three.
"Now you just sound like Derek…" Spence says, failing to hide his amusement.
"Well it's been his life dream to be your best man…we wouldn't wanna disappoint him now would we?'
Spencer sighs and rubs the back of his neck, "Matt – do you think you can crawl on your own?"
Matt nods, "Y'all might wanna be in front of me thought…just in case I start vomiting my guts out."
"How do you think she's doing?" Michelle asks, gaze fixed on the glass doors that act as an entrance to the bullpen.
Even though Michelle won't see it, JJ shakes her head, "I will say I've seen a lot worse for a lot less."
Penelope sighs, "I'm barely gonna have time to get ready for tonight…"
Michelle raises an eyebrow, "You all seriously can't expect the wedding to proceed as planned. Even if Spencer is found in the next hour – the next ten minutes – that group survived a damn plane crash! Do you honestly think that they're physically capable of just…carrying on as if nothing happened?"
She finally turns her eyes away from the door and towards the other two women, clearly wanting an honest answer. JJ and Penelope share a brief look before turning back to Michelle – their demeanor suggesting that there was nothing odd about the plan to not push back the wedding.
JJ chuckled, "I think Max's determination alone is pretty persuasive…but weddings have always been something…something special for us…"
Penelope nods, "Mhm…the days where any of us get married – it's almost like the wedding is the one thing that goes right that day. JJ's wedding…Rossi's wedding…shining beacons of – of glorious hope amongst the icky and super stressful."
"It's funny, I thought that Max and Spence were the ones to break the cycle of getting married amidst disaster… Guess I jinxed it huh?" JJ says, chuckling again.
Michelle stares at them blankly, failing to see the logic.
JJ must see this in her expression because she gives her a comforting look, "And at the end of the day…it's Max's call. She's tough and she's got full faith that everything will go off without a hitch. All I can do is admire her and hope to God that faith pays off."
The older sister sighs and all three of them turn their attention back to the door.
"I suppose you're right. Well – I don't actually but you two are the experts here and I'm in no position to argue. So…trusting in Max it is."
She has impeccably poor timing, because right as she says that the three women watch Max walk head-on into the glass door.
Penelope gasps and covers her mouth with her hand as JJ sighs and tries to ignore the irony of the situation.
"Son of a bitch." Max hisses under her breath rubbing her forehead, "Pull – it's a pull you dumbass."
As she enters the bullpen she can tell by the other women's expressions (namely Penelope's) that they witnessed that tragedy.
Michelle attempts to cough away a giggle as she asks, "How was the bathroom?"
Max glares at her and swallows down her own embarrassment, "Fantastic. You guys are out of paper towels by the way." She says that second part to JJ as she practically falls backwards into Spencer's chair, rubbing her hands against her shirt.
JJ nods, "I can let the staff know… Max, maybe you should go lay down for a bit. Kristy's using the couch in the break room, but the conference room couch is open."
Max shakes her head, "Believe me, if I was capable of sleep then I would have passed out on the toilet a few minutes ago…"
Penelope sends her a sympathetic look, "But the human body need sleep sweet girl – especially if you have a wedding tonight. Your we-"
She's cut off by the shrill ring of JJ's phone. At this point her ringtone is having a Pavlovian effect on Max as she physically feels the dread take over her body. It's bad new, it just has to be bad news.
JJ looks down at her phone in hesitation for a moment, clearly afraid of what she might hear, before breathing it off and answering, "What is it Luke?"
There are a few, unbearable seconds of silence in which nobody can read JJ's expression. And then she smiles and half laughs in relief.
That smile hits Max like a ton of bricks and she can fully feel all that dread and fear being pulled out of her chest; her eyes are tearing up again. They're alive. Spencer is alive.
A/N:
Sorry it took forever for an update, especially since the last chapter was sort of a cliffhanger. My excuses are the following:
A) I'm a college student and unfortunately that takes priority over most of the stuff I'm writing.
B) This and the previous chapter were actually really difficult to write because I wasn't able to determine a decent cut-off point.
C) I'm brave enough to write with Netflix playing in the background but that doesn't mean it always works out.
But I finally finished this chapter which means we'll be getting back to the cheesy romcom stuff I had initially promised. I was just salty we never got a "the gang is trapped in a place and need to be found" like we got in Bones. Seriously nothing will top that first Gravedigger episode.
I will note that a big thing I wanted to include was the theme of faith. Spence's faith in the system and Max's faith in herself. You can't function in a world like this without pulling like a million leaps of faith.
There are a couple itty bitty allusions to the Jeid confession which I know is typically said with a lot of venom. I hold the unpopular opinion of kind of thinking it was okay? Overall it had no relevance to the story and it was just done for the sake of drama. But I mean they're not called crime dramas for nothing, of course the writers are going to include pointless drama. I for one actually enjoyed the tragedy of it all. Two people who have loved each other for so long but were never meant to be together because they were like ten years too late. That's some corny soap opera stuff and I just eat that up. But I do definitely like him with Max better for so many reasons and I'm glad you can just kinda say they're endgame? If you're gonna get any enjoyment out of Jeid it's gonna be enjoying the concept of a romance that was doomed from the start.
Also if you want to point out the skewed logic behind anything in this chapter (and the whole fic tbh) you can but I will only argue back that the TV show made about as much sense as this fic does. CM has pulled some crap and we just let them get away with it.
I'm not making any promises that the next chapter won't take another two months but at least it'll be a bit happier, and our main couple will actually be in the same room.