Title Card: ARGGH! You For Real?
"I love the pun already," Luan said.
"Me too," Giggles said.
[One night at the Loud House, Lincoln and Clyde are watching their favorite show.]
Hunter: "Welcome back to ARGGH! I'm Hunter Spector, and we're in a haunted salon in Erie, Pennsylvania, tracking the ghost of Armando the Hairdresser." [kicks open the door] "Wait a minute!" [holds out detector] "I'm picking up something on my ARGGH! ghost detector."
"Arggh?!" Becky asked. "That's my favorite show!"
"Ours too," Lincoln said.
"Wow," Lori said. "We should have an Arggh viewing party when we return".
"Yeah!" Becky said.
[The device finds a stronger signal and one of the chairs suddenly rotates on its own.]
"Oh my god," Mandee said while covering her eyes.
Hunter: [gasps] "There he is! Now to trap him in my ghost containment device!" [activates his device which sucks up some fallen hairs.] "Ugh! Does anyone sweep this floor?" [notices all of the chairs rotating crazily] "He's on the run! I'm gonna have to improvise!" [cleans the hairs out of his containment device, opens it up, and holds up hairdryers.] "Back! Back, poncy hairdresser!" [blows away the ghost's ectoplasmic energy into the device.] "Got him! By a hair! Ha ha!"
"I love this show," Becky said.
"We're having the viewing party," Lincoln said.
Lincoln: [ecstatic] "That was amazing!"
Clyde: [equally ecstatic] "I know!"
Lincoln: "I thought he was a goner."
Clyde: "When that chair spun around, I peed a little. I'm gonna write my weekly fan letter to Hunter right now, while I'm still excited."
"Not cool, Clyde," Howard said.
"I couldn't help it," Clyde said.
Hunter: "Don't forget to tune in next week for more of ARGGH!'s tour of the 25 most haunted places in America. We'll be visiting a spooky groundskeeper's house at a cemetery in Royal Woods, Michigan."
[The map on-screen pinpoints the location.]
Everyone's jaws dropped.
"He did not just say that," Miguel said.
"Oh yes he did," Casey said.
Lincoln and Clyde: "Did he just say Royal Woods, Michigan?"
Lincoln: "Now I peed a little!"
"Not cool, Lincoln!" Lynn Sr scolded. "You had to sleep in Luna's bed while we washed your sheets and mattress!"
"Sorry about that," Lincoln said.
"That's what happens when you build up too much laughter and excitement," Carlos said.
"Our friend, Tad did that once, so I ain't surprised," Becky said.
ONE WEEK LATER [Lincoln and Clyde are riding Clyde's dads' tandem bike to the set.]
Lincoln: "This is it, Clyde! You ready to watch Hunter Spector in action?"
Clyde: "I was born ready, Lincoln! Well, actually, I was born a month early, so I wasn't ready for much of anything."
"Yeah, you were too eager to be born," Howard said.
"Just like you, Lincoln," Rita said.
Clyde and Lincoln couldn't help but giggle and blush at the same time.
[They arrive at the house with a big audience attending.]
Lincoln: "Whoa. Who knew there were this many ARGGH! fans?" [He and Clyde struggle to see the action in the back of the crowd.] "This is unacceptable! We can't even see Hunter!"
"How did your brother and his friend not see me there?" Becky asked Lori.
"I had no idea you were into that stuff," Lori said.
"None of us did," Luna said.
Clyde: "Don't worry, buddy." [busts out a periscope] "I've got my trusty ARGGH! ghost-seeking periscope." [uses it]
Lincoln: "What do you see?"
Clyde: "Some kind of cave. With a lot of stalactites and waxy-looking boulders." [It's revealed that the periscope is in a burly man's ear; he takes the periscope and tears it up and snarls at the boys who chuckle nervously.]
"Eww!" almost everyone said in disgust.
"So uncool," Miguel said.
Lincoln: "Come on, Clyde. I have a better idea."
[They dash off as Hunter begins his show.]
Hunter: "Okay, ARGGH! cadets, this is it! I'm going in. But don't worry." [shows a monitor of him showing the monitor of him, etc.] "You'll be able to watch all the paranormal action on this screen. So, until we meet again, cadets."
[Hunter steps into the house and the crowd cheers. Lincoln and Clyde climb up a tree.]
Lincoln: "Sweet! Right, Clyde. We have a great view of the screen."
"Nice view," Luna said.
"We have got to see this show more often," Lori said.
"Totally," Becky said.
Clyde: "Totally. It almost makes me forget about my fear of heights." [looks down] "Almost." [falls from the tree with Lincoln in tow.] "Gah! I've landed on my official ARGGH! ghost handcuffs."
"This guy is always prepared," Clyde said.
"He learned from the best," Howard said.
Stage Manager: [to the boys] "Hey, you two, no lying down on the job! Set your walkies to Channel 4 and get your butts in that house. We're about to start shooting."
Clyde: "No, ma'am. We don't work for ARGGH!-"
"What was that for?" Lincoln asked. "We just had to play along to get a better view of the show," Lincoln said.
"What better way to get the best view?" Lola asked.
Lincoln: [shuts Clyde up] "'Cause you know what they say, when you do what you love, you never work a day in your life. Heh heh. Come on, Clyde. We'd better get to our posts."
[The boys head off to the set]
Stage Manager: "That's more like it."
"Still can't believe you got in," Becky said.
"Gotta admit; it started out cool," Clyde said.
"Just wait until what really goes down," Lincoln said.
[The boys enter the house and see everyone setting up for the hunt. Hunter blows his nose and throws his tissue in the trash.]
Clyde: "Lincoln, did you see that? I gotta get that tissue for my scrapbook."
Lincoln: "Okay. I'll cover for you."
Clyde: "I want that tissue, Lincoln."
[They sneak over to the bin only for the manager to catch them.]
"Busted!" Sergio said.
"Not always bad, Sergio," Lincoln said.
Stage Manager: "Hey, what are you two doofuses doing? Get over to your position and do not miss your cue." [pushes them to said position] "Quiet on the set! And action!"
[The filming begins]
Hunter: [clears throat] "On this special episode of ARGGH!, we're going to be hunting for the ghost of Groundskeeper Jim. Locals say you can still hear him some nights, dragging his shovel around the empty house." [hears something] "Hello? Hello? Are you here now, Groundskeeper Jim?"
[One of the staff members starts flicking the lights on and off.]
"That's one," Lincoln said.
Hunter: "It's a sign! He's in the house!"
[The crowd gasps]
Lincoln: [to the staff member] "Hey, man, quit playing with the lights. Hunter's trying to catch a ghost."
Stage Manager: "Shh!"
Hunter: [holding his detector] "This will help me keep track of the ghost's exact location."
[The manager throws a rock against the wall.]
"That's number 2," Clyde said.
"Wow," Becky said. "How did I miss all this?"
Hunter: [gasps] "He's right there!" [rushes to the spot] "Aha! Gotcha cornered, Groundskeeper Jim!"
Stage Manager: [to the boys] "Psst! Psst! Fire the gelatin!"
[The boys grab turkey basters filled with gelatin.]
Stage Manager: "Fire! FIRE!" [The boys fire the gelatin right at Hunter.]
Luan chuckled. "I'm sorry," Luan said. "Stuff like that makes me laugh".
"Me too," Carlota chuckled.
Hunter: [covered in the stuff] "Ah! Ectoplasm! He's attacking me!" [starts "struggling"] "He's shockingly strong!" [grabs his containment device] "Take this!" [opens it up and captures the "spirit"] "Got him! Sorry, Jim, you're grounded!"
[The crowd cheers for Hunter's success except for the burly man]
"Unbelievable," Becky said.
"I know, right?" Lincoln asked.
"We later learned not to quit, though," Clyde said.
"That's a relief," Miguel said.
Tall Burly Man: [cleaning his ear] "What was that? I can't hear anything!"
[The lights come back on and the staff member turns off the fan.]
Staff Manager: "And cut! Great job, everyone."
Hunter: [to Lincoln and Clyde] "Nice work with the gelatin, guys. I didn't think you'd hit me in the face, but I went with it. Made the scene even more believable." [laughs and leaves]
[Lincoln and Clyde gasp in utter shock.]
"I still wanna know how I never caught that," Becky said.
"You guys still watch that show do ya?" Joey asked.
"We do," Lincoln said.
"We were watching it before being teleported here," Stella said.
[The boys are angrily cycling back home.]
Lincoln: [livid] "I can't believe Hunter's a fake! Think about all the time we've wasted watching five seasons of ARGGH!. I could have learned to play the banjo." [notices his friend is silent] "Clyde, you're kind of quiet back there."
Everyone couldn't help but giggle.
"You?" Lola asked.
"Play the banjo?" Carl asked.
"It's not like wasting time studying away," Lincoln said. "Lisa, Joey, no offense".
"None taken," Lisa and Joey said.
Clyde: [despondent] "Lincoln, I just don't wanna talk about it right now."
Lincoln: "I get that, buddy."
[The next day, Lincoln is deleting all of his ARGGH! Recordings.]
Lincoln: "Delete, delete, delete, delete, delete...de-lete."
"Did you have to delete every last recorded episode?" Becky asked.
"At the time, yes," Lincoln said. "Clyde and I were so heartbroken".
"And frustrated," Clyde added.
[Enter Lola]
Lola: "What are you doing, big brother?"
Lincoln: "I'm getting rid of all my recorded episodes of ARGGH!."
Lola: "Ooh! Goody! More room for my show about plastic surgeries gone wrong."
"You should try being on shows like that," Lola told Maria and Arturo. "The 2 of you are doctors by the way".
"Maria and Arturo started thinking.
"That could sound cool," Arturo said.
"I say let's do it," Maria said.
[Someone calls Lincoln on his walkie-talkie, and it's not Clyde.]
Man's Voice: "Lincoln? Come in, Lincoln."
Lincoln: [responding] "Clyde? You sound old."
Harold: "Ha, this is Clyde's dad. Can you come over? Clyde is having an episode, and I was specifically asked not to call Dr. Lopez on her vacation."
"I thought we were watching an episode," Leni said.
"It means someone's going bananas," Clyde said.
"One's basically losing control of its own feelings and actions," David said.
"That's not a good sign," Luna said.
Lincoln: "I'll be right there."
[The McBride house. A pile of Clyde's belongings is in the hallway.]
Harold: "He's been throwing out his favorite possessions. He said something about them all being fake. At least I think that's what he said. It was hard to hear over Howard's crying."
Howard: "Well, can you blame me? It's not just his things. He said he doesn't believe in birthday wishes, magicians, or leprechauns anymore; all the things that make our little guy so special." [starts crying again]
No one could believe it.
"You stopped believing all that?" Dana asked.
"Magicians including me?" Lincoln asked
"What was I to do?" Clyde responded.
"From his point of view, that is true," Tabby said.
Lincoln: "Wait. I think I know what's going on." [goes into Clyde's room] "Clyde, look. I know you're upset about Hunter, but-"
Clyde: "I'm not upset, I'm grateful. He opened my eyes to what a chump I've been. I mean, if he's a fake, everything else must be fake, too." [tosses out some plates with Howard bawling.]
"Those could've break," Howard said.
"Meanwhile, you were too busy ballin' to talk to Lincoln," Clyde said to him.
Lincoln: "Your Operation Dessert Storm commemorative plates?"
Clyde: "Pssh! That show's gotta be rigged! No one could really caramelize 100 crème brûlées in five minutes." [tosses something to Lincoln]
"No fair," Rosa said. "Growing up, my family loved shows like that".
"Exactly," the other Casagrandes said.
Lincoln: "Our anti-alien abduction helmets?"
Clyde: [laughs] "Aliens. There's no such thing."
I resent that, and gave you guys those helmets!" Zach angrily said.
"Sorry Zach; no offense," Clyde said.
"All good," Zach said.
"Man, it just wasn't your day, Clyde, was it?" Liam asked.
"Nope," Clyde answered.
Lincoln: Clyde, you don't have to give up on everything you've ever believed in."
Clyde: "Oh, but I do, Lincoln. I do." [tosses something else out]
Lincoln: "Clyde, that was your clock radio."
Clyde: "Ah."
"That was just rude," Carl said to him.
"I now see that," Clyde said. "I was just so upset".
Lincoln: [to Clyde's dads] "It's worse than I thought, and I know who's to blame." [begins to leave]
Howard: "Where are you going?"
Lincoln: "To see a man about a ghost."
"Go for it, man," Rusty said.
"You go put that dude in his place," Becky said.
[Back at the cemetery, Lincoln catches the ARGGH! crew just in time.]
Lincoln: "Hunter Spector, if that's really your name."
"Look who's busted now," Sergio said.
Everyone just playfully rolled their eyes.
"What did you say to him?" Chunk asked.
"Oh I had quite a bit to say," Lincoln said.
Hunter: [sighs] "I already told you guys, payday is Wednesday."
Lincoln: "I'm not on your crew. I'm a fan. Well, I was until I saw what really happens on your show."
Hunter: [disappointed] "Oh."
Lincoln: "I can handle it, but my friend Clyde is crushed. He was your biggest fan. He wrote you a letter every week."
Hunter: "Wait, that Clyde? He's the only fan who noticed when I switched to an all-cotton jumpsuit. Oh, I feel terrible. I didn't get into this business to trick kids. I wanted to hunt ghosts."
Lincoln: "Then why don't you?"
"That's what I wanna know," Clyde said.
"What is the reason he doesn't?" Carol asked.
Hunter: "Oh, it's TV. We have a schedule, and if we can't find ghosts, we have to fake it."
Lincoln: "Yeah? Well, now Clyde thinks everything he ever loved is fake."
Hunter: "I wish I could undo that, but I don't know how. We all know there's not a real ghost here."
Lincoln: [inspired] "Or is there?"
"Lincoln, what are you thinking?" Lynn Sr asked.
"Let's just hope it changes Clyde's mind about what he believes," Principal Ramierez said.
"Trust me," Lincoln said. "It will".
[Back at the McBride House, Clyde is swimming while eating.]
Howard: "Now, Clyde, you'll have to wait an hour after eating to go swimming. You'll get cramps."
Clyde: [doubtful] "That's just a myth, Dad. I suppose next you'll tell me if I make this face..." [makes a dorky face] "...it could freeze that way? What a load!"
"Wow," Principal Huggins said to Howard. "Your son was not having it."
"We know," Howard said. "Whatever Lincoln was planning, it better have worked."
"We wanted our old son back," Harold said.
Howard: [gasps] "That's it! I'm calling Dr. Lopez!" [sobbing]
Harold: "Howard, no! She needs this vacation. She and Robert are trying to make it work."
"Robert?" Grant asked.
"Her husband," Howard said.
"He's a therapist for middle and high school students," Harold said.
"Maybe my family should get a visit from them," CJ said.
"Mine too," Rita said. [
Clyde's phone rings]
Clyde: [answers] "Hey, Lincoln. What's up?"
Lincoln: "Clyde, tune your walkie to channel 4! You've gotta hear this!"
[Clyde does so]
Hunter: [on the other end] "Come in, ARGGH! crew! Return to Royal Woods immediately! I have a real ghost here, but I can't catch him without my equipment!"
Clyde: [to Lincoln] "So? Just more of Hunter's lies."
Lincoln: "But, Clyde, the Royal Woods episode is over! Why would he be lying?"
"You were going to have to trust me," Lincoln said.
"After what Hunter did?" Clyde asked.
Hunter: "ARGGH! crew, do you copy?"
Lincoln: "Clyde, we've got the equipment. We can help him."
Clyde: "Meh."
Lincoln: "Aw, come on!"
Clyde: "Meh."
Lincoln: "Well...do it for me, then?
"Just do it for Lincoln, man!" Howard said. "We wanted the old you back so badly."
Clyde: "Hmm...I guess." [Lincoln hangs up and he and Hunter smile knowing Clyde is coming.]
"That's the spirit, man!" Rusty said.
"I wish I was there to see this," Becky said.
"Me too," Carl said.
[Later that night, Lincoln and a reluctant Clyde enter the house.]
Lincoln: "Hello?"
Hunter: "Ah, my faithful crew guys! Thank you for coming back. There's a real ghost in here."
Clyde: "We're not your crew guys, and why should we believe anything you say?"
Hunter: "'Cause my cherry soda just disappeared and everyone knows Groundskeeper Jim loved cherry soda."
"How would he know that?" Chunk asked.
"He's been doing the show for 5 seasons," Clyde said.
Clyde: [sarcastic] "Wow, you're really going for it."
[The door suddenly slams shut and the lights start flickering, frightening Hunter and Lincoln but not Clyde.]
Lincoln: "Uh...that seemed pretty real."
[Clyde looks at him doubtfully and a sound comes from somewhere in the house.]
"That isn't working, bro," Lynn said.
"Nothing's happening," Carlos said.
"Wait until you see what happens next," Lincoln said.
Hunter: [gasps] "Groundskeeper Jim's shovel!"
Clyde: [unconvinced] "Uh-huh."
[A soda can suddenly flies out and hits Clyde in the head.]
Clyde: "Oh!" [picks up the can; now suddenly scared.] "Ch-ch-cherry? It is him!"
"Oh my god!" Sid said.
"That's how he knew," Casey said.
[The trio sees the room being messed up by a mysterious force.]
Clyde: "And he's on the run!"
Hunter: "What do you say, guys? Should we catch him?"
[The boys smile and suit up in their ARGGH! crew outfits. A picture frame falls off with a malicious laugh.]
"Go get 'em guys!" Everyone cheered.
Hunter: "He's over there!"
[The force goes into a room and shuts the door.]
Clyde: "I got this!" [charges] "YAAAAAH!" [lunges at the door only to get stuck in it] "A little help?"
"Smooth move, homie," Liam said.
"Real smooth," Harold said.
[Lincoln and Hunter get him out; they enter the room and find a rattling in a dresser.]
Lincoln: "He's in there."
"Nowhere to run," Carl said.
"You boys got him now," Margo said.
Hunter: "Follow my lead."
[He leads the way and they follow closely, positioning themselves on each side of the dresser.]
Hunter: [holding his containment device] "Now!"
[The boys open up the door as the device activates and begins pulling in the force as they scream.]
Hunter: "It's working!"
[The device pulls in the force and closes.]
Hunter: "Ha, ha!"
Lincoln, Clyde, and Hunter: "We got him!"
"Yes we did," Lincoln said while switching to relax mode.
"You boys rock!" Luna said.
Lincoln: "Yeah!"
Clyde: "Incredible! That was amazing, Hunter! I'm going home to write you another fan letter right now!" [leaves] "I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE!"
"You did it, Lincoln!" Sam said.
"Our son's back," Harold said while hugging him.
"Not so tight, please," Clyde said.
Harold released him in embarrassment.
"Way to go, bro," Leni said while hugging him, though not as tight as Harold.
Lincoln: "I feel bad about lying to Clyde, but I'm glad he believes again."
Hunter: [collecting what really made the dresser shake.] "This paint can shaker really did the trick."
Lincoln: [holding a string that closed the door mysteriously.] "And the fishing line on the door was perfect."
Hunter: "And that spring behind the picture frame worked like a charm."
"Well played," Sameer said.
"That was super clever," Chunk said.
Lincoln: "And that was a nice touch with the flying soda can. I didn't know you were gonna do that."
Hunter: "Yes, I-" [baffled] "wait. I thought you did that."
Lincoln: [confused] "No..."
"Then who did?" Leni asked.
[Suddenly, the device opens and something inside belches, making Hunter and Lincoln gasp in horror.]
Everyone gasped in fear.
"The ghost did it!" Carlota said.
"So that was no lie you told me, Linc," Clyde said.
"Unbelievable," Principal Ramierez said.
[The next night, the boys are watching ARGGH! at Clyde's.]
Hunter: "Hey, ARGGH! cadets, we're here in a haunted tugboat in Milwaukee, where locals say some nights you can see the ghost of Captain Jack swabbing the deck. I can't guarantee we'll find him here tonight, but if we do, he's mine!"
"Go for it, dude!" Clyde said.
[Clyde's dads have some snacks for them.]
Harold: "Hey, guys, got you a little snack."
Howard: "Served on Clyde's Operation Dessert Storm commemorative plates."
Clyde: "Thanks, Dads. But we're going swimming right after this show. So, we should probably wait an hour."
Howard and Harold: "No worries." [leave the room; ecstatic] "Yay!"
Harold: "Oh, our son is back!" [notices his husband making an elated face.] "Howie, don't make that face; it'll freeze that way."
"Did it?" Margo asked.
"Luckily, no," Howard said.
"That was quite the episode," CJ said.
"Hey Linc," Clyde said. "Can my parents and I talk to you privately?"
"Okay," Lincoln said.
He and the McBrides moved to a separate section of the room.
"My dads and I owe you a big thanks for helping me gain my confidence back. I don't know what I was thinking," Clyde said.
"Anything for a friend like you," Lincoln said. "I'm so glad you believe again".
He then hugged Clyde.
"And if you still wanna learn to play the banjo?" Harold asked.
Lincoln giggled nervously.
"Let's save it for when we head home," he said.
They all agreed before returning back.
"So you cool with everything?" Becky asked.
"You know it," Clyde said.
"We even got every last season of ARGGH! on DVD," Lincoln said. "The viewing party is back on!"
"Awesome," Sameer said.
"We can't wait," Leni said.
"Now what's this about another Clyde centered episode?"
To be continued…
Next episode they'll be reacting to is Baby Steps.
Stay tuned for it.