Chapter 4
everyone finishes dinner as we all joke and laugh with each other. I eat some of the dinner not feeling the greatest at all. After everyone leaves I go upstairs to the bathroom getting sick. I am sitting beside the toilet when bill comes looking for me. He kneels down beside me moving my hair out of my face.
"my love are you ok?"
"yes love just not feeling good is all but we both now its going to be like this since I'm pregnant."
"I know love but it still worry's me"
"I know it does love but I promise I'm ok just morning sickness that apparently lasts all day with me."
"I can ask mom if she has anything to help with it"
"I don't want to be a bother to mom just cause its hard on me with the sickness part."
"love your never a bother to anyone of us we all love and worry about you is all"
I smile softly and lay my head against him. He picks me up carrying me to bed as he lays me down onto the bed and takes my shoes off noticing how swollen my feet have become. He rubs them softly as I grimace some as it hurts. He stops looking up at me.
"I didn't mean to hurt you love"
"you didn't love its ok"
mom comes up to check on us and finds us laying down with bills head resting on my stomach as we both had fallen asleep like this. She takes a blanket covering us both as she watches us sleep. I open my eyes and look up at her.
"shh its just me sweetie, how are you feeling?"
"if the morning sickness would stop lasting all day and night I think id be ok but I know it is apart of the pregnancy."
"ill make you some tea in the morning and see if that helps you sweetie I know how it is to have it all day and night."
"ok mom"
"go back to sleep and get some rest you need it sweetie"
I close my eyes my fingers entangled into bills hair as I fall back to sleep loving the way he is laying on me it gives me comfort enough to go back to sleep. At some point in the night he moves laying down beside me wrapping his arms around me as he pulls me tight against him. I whimper some in my sleep as he does. He whispers into my ear calming as we both go back to sleep. I wake up early the next morning running into the bathroom again. I leave the door open knowing I couldn't hide the fact I was getting sick again from him. He gets up with me and comes in kneeling beside me pulling my hair back for me. I lean back against him as he holds me comforting me.
"I'm sorry love I wish I could just take this part from you it makes me upset seeing you so sick like this."
"love its worth it knowing in the end we will have two beautiful babies."
"see you can look at it like that I see you suffering and you turn it into something beautiful."
"I try my best"
"today we are going to look at houses love for us if your up for it"
"I'm more then up for it love but I don't want to be to far from our families."
"the one house I've been looking at for the last year would be perfect its not to far from the burrow."
"then you should get it my love"
"I want you to see it first love "
"ok my love lets go look at it"
we both get dressed and go down having breakfast with mom and dad. We then go over to the house bill has been looking at for the last year. It is a beautiful small but perfect little house. We go inside and there is three bedrooms. The master bedroom has its own bathroom and a huge walk in closet that I fall in love with. I notice that it is furnished with everything we need. Well the two smaller rooms would need to be made into nursery's but other then that it was perfect. Bill watches my reactions as I walk through the house.
"what do you think love?"
"its perfect and I love it my love"
"well good because we move in tomorrow"
"wait I thought you hadn't bought it yet"
"he didn't buy it princess we bought it for you and him as your early wedding present we knew you both were going to need a home of your own and its the perfect size plus has the things you deserve."
"daddy, dad you didn't have to buy us a house, I don't deserve this"
"love they are right you deserve so many things that I will work my hardest to get you and this house is one of them things you deserve and I was going to buy it but when they heard about it they got to it first but didn't want me to tell you."
"you two are to much sometimes I swear"
"you love us princess and you know it"
"yes I do but still this is too much"
"no its not and the house right next door we bought so we all would be close plus we aren't to far from the burrow."
"your all treating me like I'm some kind of princess who deserves the nice, good things that life has to offer and in truth I don't, I'm nothing more then a girl who has had so much trauma in my life and that I just deserve very little."
"no my princess you don't, you deserve everything it has to offer, you have been through so much and you never deserved what you went through I wish I could have gotten you out so much sooner then you were gotten out but I couldn't and now I can do so much for you and I plan on doing it so I suggest you get used to being spoiled."
"dad help me here"
"no hes right princess and I am going to do the same and I know that bill is planning on the same for you so u might wanna get used to things"
"this isn't fair you know I cant fight all three of you"
"that's the point you cant fight all of us and you know you cant."
I glare at all of them knowing dad is right. They all chuckle at me as I shake my head at all of them. They laugh. As mom comes in carrying most of our things from the burrow. I look at her a little confused.
"I thought we weren't moving in till tomorrow?"
"well I thought since you were excited about the home love we could move in today and mom is helping me move our things over."
"I can help move things as well love"
"oh no your not young lady you can move and sit your butt down in a chair though you know your suppose to take things easy for those babies."
"Dad come on "
"don't dad me you know I am right and don't make me get your other father involved just because he went over to our house for a moment dosent mean I cant walk over and get him."
"your really going to threaten me with daddy and think that its going to work and scare me into sitting down and doing nothing but watch you all move our things over."
"yes I do believe its going to work"
"as if"
He leaves and with in minutes comes back over with my other dad. I roll my eyes as they both walk into the house as they both look at me.
"now do you really want to argue princess"
"come on this isn't fair at all ganging up on me like this."
"sit down and let us get your things all moved in."
I sit down and grumble under my breath at them all as they move everything over to our new home as mom sets things up for us. Then she takes bill and Severus food shopping for us making sure our cupboards and fridge is stocked full. I curl up on the couch feeling tired for no reason and fall asleep as my dad covers me up kissing my cheek.
"you'll be ok I promise you that princess no ones going to hurt you ever again while we are all around and so close."
I sleep not hearing them come back from shopping as they all spot me asleep on the couch. Bill smiles softly.
"she does know there's a bed in our room dosent she?"
"yes she does but she fell asleep on the couch so I left her there and just covered her up with a blanket, I figured she was comfortable so I didn't want to disturb her knowing she needs as much rest as she can get right now."
"that is true so we should just let her rest for awhile"
"I know shes not been to happy with any of us today but I cant really blame her, she feels like she needs to do something but also knows shes not suppose too."
"no shes not suppose to and I know it bothers her so much to not be helping but we all want her and the babies to be healthy and have nothing happen to either of them."
"she will adjust guys you just have to be patient with her, shes like I was when I was pregnant with Fred and George."
"you were like this mom?"
"yes son I was I had to get used to not being able to do a lot of things knowing I was carrying twins at the time but I also know her situation is more high risk then mine was but you got to understand shes a woman who feels like its her place to make sure your home is clean you have meals cooked and your taken care of, she dosent expect to be taken care of like everyone has been doing with her because she is used to so much abuse and neglect."
"I know she is but its time shes treated like the queen she really is and its hard to do that when she fights me every time I turn around over any little thing."
"bill she is apart of us and you know how stubborn me and Sirius are and I know that's not helpful but that is also apart of why she is the way she is."
"I know it is I just want her safe and happy is all"
"son give her time shes still adjusting and you know that she thought all shed ever know is what her mother has done to her because she was suppose to go back there and never see any of us ever again because her mother wasn't going to allow it after she graduated."
"I know mom its hard to see her struggle with being treated like she matters and that she is loved by people instead of being abused and mistreated the way she has been for so many years."
"she will adjust just give her time sweetheart, she loves you more then you know and this is why she is being so stubborn she believes its her job to take care of you not you taking care of her, shes got to realize that it works both ways especially when you two are married you take care of one another not just her taking care of you and everyone around her."
"will she adjust though?"
"yes she will bill give her time that is why we all are here to help her"
"ok"
I stir some as a nightmare hits me out of nowhere. I whimper in my sleep as it becomes worse. Suddenly I sit up screaming as I claw at my arms and face. Bill rushes over grabbing my arms as my father sits behind me wrapping his arms around me. I calm down as they both sit there holding me down so I don't hurt myself anymore then I already had. They all look at each other as I pass back out against my father.
"this is something else that scares me, shes still having nightmares and sometimes they are worse then before it scares me watching her go through them but she wont talk to anyone about them."
"she needs to see a therapist for them but we all know she wont do that"
"no she wont and I cant force her not after what happened at the hospital I don't want to put her through that ever again."
"none of us do bill but something needs to be done about these nightmares before she really hurts herself."
"I know but what can we do or can be done about it"
"I think its time we let Fred and George spend some time with her, we all know that the three of them are close and she will talk to them, maybe if she opens up to them about the nightmares we can figure out what we can do to prevent them from happening."
"do you think it will work mom?"
"yes I do I've seen how close the three of them are and how much they have helped her in the past with the nightmares and other things I think it is needed at this point even if she wont admit it."
"well someone needs to get a hold of them."
"I've already done so son they should be here soon, they said they had to make a stop at honey dukes for her and they be right over."
"oh lord we all know what they are buying her from there, as she only buys bulk of one thing from there and I know she hasn't had any in some time now since she never asks for money to buy things for herself."
"that we do"
Fred and George show up an hour later with a bag full of chocolate frogs. They come in to see me asleep on the couch again.
"is she ok?"
"she ended up having another nightmare but fell back to sleep but she wont talk to anyone about them we are hoping you two can get through to her."
"leave it to us we got this"
everyone else leaves going up to the burrow leaving me alone with them. I slowly wake up and sit up looking around then sees them both sitting on the chairs in front of me just staring at me.
"ok what are you two doing here?"
"bells don't give us that you know exactly what we are doing here, who else calls on us when you wont open up and talk about whats going on and what nightmares your having keep coming and worse then before but yet you wont talk to anyone about them?"
"come on guys its nothing just let it alone please"
"no I'm sorry bells we cant and wont do that you should know this bye now."
"where is everyone else at?"
"they left us alone and went up to the burrow for a while so we could talk and hang out."
"guys I'm fine we can hang out but I'm really fine"
"no your not stop lieing to two of the people who know you the best"
"hes right bells you know you cant lie to us and have us believe it we have been down this road with you many times in the past and we will do it all over again to help you get through this."
"you guys aren't going to leave me alone about all this are you?"
"no and look we brought you your favorite snack we always bring when its time for one of our hang out talk sessions."
"you think chocolate frogs is going to get me to open up and talk about the nightmares again?"
"we know they will bestie they always do and look your about to become our sister as well so you know we are gonna become even more protective then we were just being your besties."
"this isn't fair ganging up on me like this you know that right"
"we all are concerned for you bestie we aren't ganging up on you we are trying to help you and we all know that us having our monthly hangout chat sessions has always helped we just haven't been able to have them like we always do with all of us being so busy as of lately."
"I'm ok with that you know I know that you both have your own lives and I have mine too so its ok"
"we all have our own lives but our lives are also about to be bond together you are marrying our older brother so your going to be our sister too."
"bells your not getting out of talking to us so stop trying and just talk to us please."
"fine since you two wont let up and just leave me alone on this"
"see we knew you'd give in to us eventually"
"of course you did because you cant give things up and leave me alone about them."
"never dear sister"
"you two are so annoying"
"you love us"
"fine my nightmares are just about bill leaving me and I ending back up at my mothers and in the grasp of lucies again its no big deal"
"there's more to them then that isn't there"
"ok fine since I found out I'm pregnant I keep dreaming about loosing them and everything I have falling apart."
"bells do you honestly think bill is ever going to leave you?"
"I don't now I feel like if I lose our children he would because this could be our only chance at children"
"hes told you he loves you for who you are not what you can give him"
"this was before we found out I was pregnant"
"that's not going to change just because your pregnant bells and you should know this"
"I should and I do but its still a fear I have and I cant help it I try so hard not to have them but they are always here."
"you need to talk to him then"
"no I don't I cant let him know what I'm fighting everyday inside my head I cant have him looking at me differently."
"he would never do that bells he loves you as you love him."
"I know he loves me and I love him but I just don't think I deserve everything he and my fathers are trying to give me."
"oh come on you deserve so much bells and you know it as well as we do look at all the hell you have gone through and survived over the years."
"I've survived a lot but how do I deserve the things they want to give me?"
"you deserve a good life now bells you have come so far and still survived all the bullshit your mom put you through."
"so your saying I need to just accept what they are giving me or doing for me because I deserve it all."
"yes that is exactly what we are saying"
"ill do my best but it isn't easy for me"
"we know it is not easy but you have everyone here for you to help you do this and we all love you"
"you have become a big part of our family and lives that you would be missed if something happened to you even if you cant see it"
"thanks I really did need one of our hangout chat sessions I guess I just didn't realize that I did need it"
"well mom new you needed it that is why she sent us an owl to get us here and we knew if mom was asking us to come that it had to be bad because she never asks us to come help you like that."
"yes I guess it was worse then I thought"
"no more letting it get this bad understand"
"hes right bells you cant let it get this bad again its not good for you or the babies you carry"
"I promise not to let it get this bad again"
"good"
"you better not or we will kick your ass am I understood"
"yes Fred your understood."
"that's more like it"
We all go up the burrow as we smell dinner. I walk in behind Fred and George but don't realize how tired I look both physically and mentally. I don't even realize they can tell I am tired mentally. Bill and the rest look up as we all come into the kitchen from the back door. He comes over and pulls me into his arms as I rest my head on his chest.
"everything ok?"
"everything should be now but bill, mom, Sirius and Severus can we talk to you in the other room"
"yes of course"
"love will you be ok for a few minutes?"
"yes love ill just sit here and wait for you all"
"ok love"
they all go into the sitting room. I could hear them all talking about what we talked about but I didn't care because I knew if they hadn't told them I wasn't going to do it either. I lay my head on the table closing my eyes resting some as they all talk. I can hear bill who was upset.
"bill stop you cant be upset with her for how she feels or how her mind works you have to remember what hell shes gone through"
"I'm not upset with her I'm upset that her own mother has her so scared and messed up in the head that this is what she thinks will happen."
"we all hate her mother for what she has done to her but what she needs right now is a reset on her thinking and we all need to help her with it and be there for her letting her know its going to be ok"
"we will all be there to help her through this for however long it may take because we all love and worry about her."
"yes we all do"
"lets all go have dinner then you can take her home and talk to her bill I think that is what will be best."
they all come back into the kitchen as I sit back up so I don't look so weak and tired. I smile softly at them as we all sit down for dinner. Bill sits beside me putting his arm around me. We all eat and talk over dinner. I notice that everyone keeps watching me closely.
"guys I'm ok you don't need to keep watching me, I don't mean to worry any of you."
"we worry because we love you sweetie nothing more, telling us not to worry is something that we cant do."
"moms right love we all love you and will always worry no matter what"
"I know I just wish you all wouldn't worry so much"
"we know you hate having people worry over you princess but as your family it is what we will always do."
we all finish dinner and the twins leave, my dads go to there house. We say goodnight to mom and dad then go down to our new home. Bill helps me inside and to our room. I change into bed clothes and climb into bed as he changes for bed then crawls in beside me. He pulls me close kissing the top of my head.
"bells my love"
"yes my love"
"I love you so much and I worry about you, I'm sorry that you have been thinking about me leaving you if you lose our children and you have been afraid to talk to me about it I never thought that you would be thinking about it so much."
"its ok love I don't now why I've been thinking about it so much it just scares me to even think about it."
"I know my love and I am so sorry that you've been thinking this alone."
"its ok I fight with myself everyday because I let things in my head that I know isnt true but cant help but think."
"no more love please talk to me when you start thinking like this please I know its not easy for you to do but if you do it will help you and I can then help you fight through those thoughts."
"ill do my best my love I cant promise it'll be easy for me to do but I will try"
"good that's all I ask is you try my love"
he pulls me close as I lay my head on his chest closing my eyes as we both fall asleep in our new home for the first time. The nightmares don't come for once in a long time and I sleep through the night till the next morning when my morning sickness hits me and I get up running into our bathroom. I come back out crawling back into bed laying on my side my back to him letting him sleep not wanting to wake him up. I fall back to sleep and feel his arms wrap around me as if he knew I had left them to begin with as he whispers in my ear.
"im right here love its ok"
I smile as we both fall back to sleep. I don't want to move or leave the bed today as I am drained and so tired. I don't even feel him get up out of bed awhile later or hear him leave the bedroom. I stir slowly and sit up as he comes back in carrying a tray with food on it.
"I made us breakfast in bed love I seen you were sleeping peacefully and didn't want to wake you up."
"you didn't have to my love"
"yes I did I can see how tired you are today and you will not be getting out of bed today either I want you to rest."
"yes love I wont leave the bed unless I have to use the restroom."
"thank you love for not arguing with me on this, you know all I want is for you and our babies is for you all to remain healthy"
"I know my love"
We sit on our bed and eat breakfast as we laugh and joke with each other. Our doorbell rings a little while later. Bill gets up and goes to answer the door. He comes back with both my fathers.
"hey princess we come to see how your feeling today and bill tells us hes not letting you out of bed."
"he wants me to rest since I am kinda overtired today and I didn't argue with him when he told me either"
"he told us you didn't which kinda shocked us because normally you would argue about it"
"I would normally but I need to stop arguing when I know its for my own good."
"that is true princess"
"yes I know it is and I'm trying my best"
"we all know your trying princess and we are proud that you are trying."
We all sit and talk for awhile. Then bill comes back in with a look on his face that kinda scares me.
"whats wrong love?"
"I just got called into work love but I don't want to leave you here alone because I have to go in and it will be over night."
"ill be ok baby I understand you have to work"
"but I don't want to leave you here alone overnight"
"bill if it'll make you feel better we will take her over to our house we have a room for her over there anyway."
"are you sure?"
"yes we would love to spend some time with our daughter"
"ok love are you ok with this?"
"yes love it'll be nice to have some time with my dads too"
"alright well I have to go now so if you guys can manage getting her over there"
"we can bill it'll be ok do what you have to do, we all know you have to work to support your family"
"hes right love"
bill leaves and goes to work as my fathers help me over to their house for the night and into my room they had set up for me.
"wait dad why aren't you at Hogwarts I thought u lived there while school was in?"
"I do princess but I come back on days that the kids are off is all and today was one of those days."
"oh ok dad sorry I just was curious."
"its ok princess no need to say your sorry."
we all settle in talking and joking with each other. Dad goes down and makes dinner for us all and brings it back up to my room. We eat and talk more as we don't realize how late it gets. Both of them realize how late it is.
"ok princess its bedtime you need your rest."
"I know I do dad but this was fun I wish we could have more nights like this"
"we will I promise but for tonight its time for you to get some sleep."
"ok"
they go to there room and I lay down curling up closing my eyes falling asleep. None of us relized tonight was going to be a rough one without bill being here with me. I start to have nightmare after nightmare an hour after going to sleep. I wake up screaming in the middle of the last nightmare that hit me. My door opens and both my fathers come running through the door. One on either side of me with their arms around me as I collapse against them. They look at each other concerned. I fall asleep against them both. They move me to the middle of the bed and climb onto the bed on either side of me as they wrap their arms around me as I go back to sleep. The next morning this is how bill finds us all. My fathers wake up first seeing him as they slip from the bed leaving me sleeping.
"do I want to know what happened to make you two look so exahusted and laying in bed with your daughter."
"lets just say it was a rough night of nightmares and we thought maybe us being with her shed sleep better."
"did it work"
"it did to a point but she was still up and down with nightmares."
"I feel bad I had to go away for the night like I did"
"don't bill we had her, shes fine I promise you needed to work to be able to support your little family and we understand that I'm just glad that she wasn't alone last night knowing what happened with her even being here."
"I'm glad she wasn't alone either, I still worried all night even though I new she was safe with you both."
"as you should worry bill she is your soon to be wife and shes carrying your children."
"exactly why I worried"
"shes fine but id let her sleep for awhile she didn't sleep to well last night."
"do you mind if I lay down with her I am tired myself and I know this isnt our home but I don't feel like having to wake her to move her back to our house right now."
"no go ahead son get some sleep no one is going to bother either one of you while your here I promise you that."
"ok thanks dads"
I feel someone crawl into bed beside me wrapping their arms around me as I relize it is bill I turn and lay on his chest as he kisses my forehead and holds me close as he falls asleep. Neither of us notice that both my fathers are standing in the doorway watching us curl up with each other.
"they look so peaceful and happy don't they"
"yes, they do and I can tell princess is more relaxed now that bill is holding her, I did not realize how attached or close those two are till last night and watching them now."
"neither did I and I'm glad that they are to be honest it's what she needs."
"yes, it is"
"let's go take a nap of our own since we were up most the night with our little girl who isn't so little anymore."
"yes, my love lets go take a nap I am so tired after last night"
"so am I but we both now she needed us last night"
"that is why I'm not complaining I'm just glad she's sleeping now"
"me too"
they shut my door and go into their own room going to bed to sleep for a while. I curl tight against bill as he holds me close to him. We sleep the rest of the day and into the next day neither of us realizing how long we have slept. I wake up first around 7 am the next morning as I sit up stretching as I look around noticing I'm still at my dad's house. I look over at bill still asleep. I lay back down against him not wanting to leave his arms just yet as I close my eyes again falling back to sleep.