Chapter 4

She wanted to thank him but didn't know how. At the very least, she would try to say something to him today.

The warm weather caused many of the students to spend their time outside. Hermione decided to take advantage of the quiet castle before it got cold, and everyone was stuck indoors. So, she headed to the library to distract her thoughts with homework.

When she arrived, she noticed that she was not the only student avoiding the fresh air. Malfoy was sitting alone in the back corner of the library. Deciding this was her chance to talk to him, she headed towards his table.

"Thank you, that was uncharacteristically kind."

"It was the least I could do. I'd say you deserve a little peace after everything."

She didn't know why but decided to sit down at his table, "you're having night terrors?"

"Night terrors, day terrors… my whole world is a fucking terror. But I wouldn't expect a member of the order to give a shit about how the death eaters feel."

Ignoring his sly remark, she questioned, "What are they about?"

He was quiet for a minute. Clearly debating whether or not to share his pain. After deliberating for a moment, he decided to only say, "it varies."

"Well, that's vague," Hermione responded.

"Mostly memories. Things I wish I didn't have to see again"

She continued to pry, "like what?"

His voice was low, "like my dad screaming at me for never being enough, or watching my muggle studies teacher get eaten by a snake on my kitchen table, or Bellatrix…"

His voice broke and drifted off from his last point. He clearly didn't want to bring up Hermione's pain. She was surprised that night haunted him to.

"I'm sorry for just standing there. I didn't really know what to do. I never seemed to know the right thing to do," he added.

"You tried… you could have identified us that day, but you chose not to. The moment she saw me with that sword…"

Cutting off her sentence, Draco said, "I should have done something, anything." He paused for a moment before asking, "you get them too?"

Hermione was confused for a moment before Draco added, "the night terrors. What are they?"

"Oh, I guess the same as yours. Memories I would rather not relive," for the first time, she felt compelled to share more. "Sometimes I'm here in the castle watching everyone die in the war. Seeing Fred's face after the explosion is never easy. Other nights I'm at your house after being caught by snatchers…"

Neither of them wanted to say outload what had happened months before in the Malfoy Manor. Hermione clutched her forearm, feeling the letters Bellatrix had carved into her skin. Thinking about that day made the scar itch.

Draco slid another sleeping potion across the table.

"I think you might need it more than I do."

She reached across to grab it. Briefly their hands intertwined with one another. Hermione quickly pulled back and thanked Draco for the vial. She stood up and walked out of the library. She made her way back to the Gryffindor common room where she sat alone by the fire.

Her thoughts were overwhelmed by their conversation. She was supposed to hate him. She should want absolutely nothing to do with him. After all, he had spent majority of his teenage years calling her a mudblood, terrorizing her friends, and aiding the death eaters. But the more Hermione thought about his actions, the more she realized he was the product of an abusive household. His father clearly pushed him harder than any father should. He was raised to hate her kind. And yet, despite being brought up to have such horrible beliefs, he still managed to feel remorse for his actions. He still tried to help Harry that day in Malfoy Manor. Maybe there was a chance that Draco deserved redemption.