"*sigh*"
The limbs of one Lie Ren are stuck in place, thanks to the tape that bounds them to the wall, making him essentially just a fly.
"Hmph! Finally got rid of that obnoxious character! And that horrible blabbering!"
"I've bare-"
"Name's Yang Xiao Long! I'm a take-over artist, wanted in 30 kingdoms for hijacking fiction!"
"Everyone's seen my face out at the club for terrorizing those employee-of-the-month Malachite twins. If this is the first time you've had a story hijacked, buckle up, because I'm in charge!"
️
*crickets*
"You are supposed to clap! Why aren't you clapping for me!"
Still no one claps.
"Excuse me! I said that I was in charge! And as the leader of this charade, I order you to clap!"
Her lilac eyes stare at the rest of the crew with just the smallest hint of red tint washing through them.
Blake's eyes go wide and she suddenly starts clapping excitedly, convincing the others to begrudgingly start their own show of "excitement".
"Yeah sis! Let's go! You can totally do it!"
Despite the obvious mismatch between the surface display and the true feelings of all the other members, Yang's mind either doesn't notice or deliberately ignores it all, and she resumes her spiel as dictator of this new amateur production.
"You are all way too kind. As leader, my first act is to get Vomit Boy down here and beat that obliviousness out of him, no matter what it takes!"
"How in the world do you-" Nora clearly did not learn from Ren.
"No one talks while I'm talking! I have just the plan to get this knight down here! Blake, fetch me the rope in your cabinet!"
"W-w-what rope?"
"You thought I didn't know about the rope? Nice try Blake, but I know more of your secrets than you think. Now get the rope!"
With a face a quite interesting shade of red, she reluctantly gets into the cabinet and gets out the ropes. She presents them to Yang like an Aztec offering up a human heart to the gods, desperately hoping for acceptance.
"Alright! Now I'm gonna tell you exactly what's about to happen! I'm gonna set these ropes up and you, miss kitten, are going to be captured! And tied up in these ropes! Our knight in shining armor will come and save you from this horrible trap, and you will use your irresistible booty to jump his bones!"
Blake's expression has shifted to one of pure horror. Jesus Christ, how unhinged is she? Before she can vocalize this, a completely opposite reaction sails through the crowd…
"Can you at least untie me first? I really want to-"
"NO! And just for that little insubordination, you get to be my brand new assistant! Think up other ideas and write them down on this paper, ninja boy!"
"But I'm sti…"
Ren realizes mid-sentence that Yang isn't paying any attention to him and has already begun to set up the ropes. The other two members of NPR slowly walk up to him, ready to help out.
"Why are you two letting thi-"
"Morbid curiosity."
"I don't believe you people…" He can only just finish that sentence before a pencil is put in his mouth. But it doesn't stay inside for more than a second.
"*pleh* Are you seriously not going to untie me?"
Both Nora and Pyrrha smile. Part of that comes from not wanting to face the wrath of a Xiao Long high on… something, but also the back of their minds are just waiting to see how this stupid idea is going to go.
Before he can respond, the pencil is stuck back in his mouth, and Nora holds the piece of paper right up to his face.
"*sigh* Fine…"
While Yang is setting up the trap, everyone else begins to think about just how this all came to pass…
️
️
Earlier…
The people in this room are some of the most stunned people to ever exist on Remnant, even more stunned than when the first King Taijitu was spotted landing in the middle of Mistral during the Great War.
Jaune gently sets the unconscious Yang down flat onto her bed, treating her like an ancient piece of pottery, careful to disturb her as minimally as possible. He stares over her for a while, and after a quick scan, turns around satisfied with his escort mission.
He just begins to turn around when he is interrupted by the meekest of voices, courtesy of the Invincible Girl herself.
"C-care to ex- explain?"
"I would really prefer not to…"
"You manhandled her so hard she got knocked out huh? That's mighty impressive for-"
Nora is silenced by another one of those "magical" hands, but it's like putting a band-aid on a fault line.
"Ren, it's fine."
The hand disappears.
"-mighty impressive for a noodly knight like you!"
"That's not what happened."
"Let me guess, she went crazy on you? It happens, especially when I can't be there to keep her in check."
"What do you mean, 'keep her in check'?"
"I m-"
Blake suddenly realizes the implication of those words and abruptly goes silent.
"Well… uhh… anyway… yeah, she told me to "ravage her with my sword", then went to town with a vibrator and collapsed. I had to save her from drowning and… there she is."
He points over, moving everyone else's eyes toward the huntress, with Ruby poking her motionless body like a woodpecker pokes a tree.
"Alright, so you didn't do anything to her?" Pyrrha's eyes show no real concern, as she already knows what the answer will be.
"No."
"Good. Now to hope she wakes up soon."
As if on cue, a cough suddenly comes out of the aforementioned person, focusing everyone's attention on her.
With every cough, all the others inch closer, so much so that everyone is now hanging around the bed, eyes focused on the blonde.
"w-w-w… where am I?"
"SIS!" Ruby climbs on the bed and hugs Yang, causing a few more watery coughs to bellow out of her.
"H-hey Rubes! What the heck happened to me?"
Everyone turns to look at Jaune, waiting for him to tell this embarrassing tale.
"Well… uh… pfft!" An involuntary laugh escapes him.
Bad choice, mister...
"What did I do?"
"ummmmm….well.. You kinda… how do I put this…"
"Spill it!"
"You… came on to me and uh… then you went crazy over this…" He holds up the vibrator, still in his left hand.
Suddenly Yang's eye begins to twitch.
"Uh…" Jaune begins to back away.
"Why didn't you stop me from showing myself like that?"
Blake sees what is happening and tries to save him. "Hold on Yang, he couldn't have done anything."
"Heh. Really? I'm pretty sure he was there with me…"
"You think he is stupid enough to interrupt you doing that? Even I didn't want to go in there."
Yang's head swivels around toward Ren, who's pupils begin to shrink at an alarming rate. "Wait, you knew I was in there?"
She pushes everyone out of the way, and speeds towards him with two eyes rapidly losing their lilac color.
"Wait, I didn't do anything! Why are-"
"That's just the thing, ninja boy. You didn't do anything."
"Please Yang, just let me explai-"
A large hand covers his mouth. But unlike the polite, yet firm touch of his hands, this one is much more forceful, smothering him with the slightest tinges of yellow…
She quickly finds some duct tape and tapes him to the wall as everyone can only watch. Jaune slowly begins to back up toward the bathroom, ready to escape into it if things go awry.
"Jaune! Go back in there and save y-" The hand forces itself back over his mouth, this time making sure to slam the door shut on any future interruptions. Jaune takes the hint and slams the door of the bathroom shut, isolating himself from the theatrics outside.
Jaune takes a look at the bathtub, still infused with bodily discharge. He gets all his stuff out and very carefully pulls the drain plug, then almost scrapes off his skin making sure his hands are clean.
Meanwhile Yang finishes her little project, putting the final touches on like a master artiste.
"Hmph! Finally got rid of that obnoxious character!"
️
ˉˉˉˉˉˉ
"Alright Blake! It's time to put yourself in!" Yang exclaims, her eyes lazer-focused on Blake.
She doesn't move.
"You really aren't gonna make this easy for me, are ya."
"I don't want to do this."
"I don't care if you don't wanna! I didn't get to choose my screw-up, so neither do you!"
"Please Yang, can't we just do-"
"...*sigh* All of you! Get her!"
In the biggest display of "meh" in the entire universe, everyone (save Ren and Nora, who hang out at the wall) moves toward Blake without a single spring in their step. Blake takes one quick look at Yang's kinda disturbing face and realizes that, although she could use her shadow clones and get out of this sticky situation, ᵗʰᵉ ᵖˡᵒᵗ ᵈᶦᶜᵗᵃᵗᵉˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ it will be easier and take less time if she just lets it all happen.
With her thoughts hashed out, she puts her arms up in surrender, letting herself fall to these evil huntresses that are going to trap her in the ropes a… *zzzzz*
"Alright! I'm gonna get him in here myself! Everyone else hide!"
The rest scurry just outside the room, leaving the door ajar just enough to peek through and watch it all go down.
️
️
Jaune has not even turned the water on since returning to the bathroom. Why even try to finish cleaning? Another girl is just going to barge in here and try to jump his bones again. Probably Weiss the way things are going. At least he's got a comic to read!
He's pretty far along too, on page 40 out of 55. On this one Diamond-Man is saving hostages from the evil villain's lair.
Hahahahahaha! You will never escape!
Not so fast, crazy bones! I'll get them out of your evil clutches!
No you won't! The villain presses a gigantic red button, and suddenly the hostages fall down a trap door.
Goddammit! You will die! The images show Diamond-Man starting his battle with a massive hit straight in the gut, knocking that evil villain to the floor.
Jaune reads with the giddiness of a kid in a candy store. This stuff sure is good… His mind is absolutely captured by the story. His pure, blue eyes lap up all of the colorful imagery like a sunbather lapping up the heat of the bright yellow sun.
*knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock*
"Jaune! You have to help quick, Blake's been captured!" Yang's booming voice easily bypasses the door, grabbing Jaune's attention. But he's not too happy about it.
"Why don't you save her then?"
"I can't! My weapons are broken!"
"...Fine, I'm coming!"
Yang rushes away to join the rest of the group, leaving Blake completely alone, suspended in the air between the top bunk beds.
"Help me, Jaune! UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
That blistering cry of help is so ridiculously bad that Jaune has to resist a laugh. Quick, think about something boring! A certain history class is the first thing that comes to mind.
His hands grab Crocea Mors like it is second nature and he bursts out of the room ready to slay something, only to see a completely empty room in return.
His brain stumbles for a bit, leaving him completely frozen in place.
"Help! Somebody save me!"
His mind snaps to the right, seeing what looks like some rope leading off of one of the bedposts.
Before he can think he runs toward it, growing ever more uneasy as the other three ropes come into view.
"Oh shit!" She actually is trapped! "I got you Blake!" Crocea Mors makes quick work of the ropes, and Blake floats down into his arms, almost as if fate ordained these two to be together.
"Thank you so much for saving me! Let me reward you, my hero!"
She deliberately turns the two away from the door, and prepares to go in for a hot and steamy make-out session.
Jaune's face freezes, but that doesn't stop this kitten, who has… nothing in her eyes. At the last moment, she diverts away toward his ears and speaks in a low whisper...
"I don't want to do this Jaune. Can you just lay me down on my bed?"
Jaune remains scared for a moment, but once his brain understands, he goes into a happy smile.
"You don't know how happy I am to hear that."
He lays her down on the bed and even goes the extra mile by tucking her in like a Neo-Sleeping Beauty.
Finally, someone on this planet that is not a lunatic...
"Hey Jaune, go into that cabinet and hand me the first book, second row."
He looks through the cabinet, which is, as expected, full of books. He grabs the first one, not wanting to look at the title for "safety" reasons…
"Here you go!"
"Thank you. Not just for this, but for not taking it out on me. I'm just as confu-"
The door is suddenly forced open, moving so fast it creates a very loud BANG when it hits the back wall.
"What's going on Blake?!"
"Nothing crazy, Yang, I'm just breaking in my new househusband."
She sends over a quick wink to Jaune as Yang explodes into a mess of stutters and ungodly sounds.
Damn, both of my current stories have Yang being knocked out. I've got a thing for her apparently. Disregarding that, did you get the reference? If not you should TAKE YOUR DAMN CLOTHES OFF! and read through it again. Otherwise, I changed the formula up a bit because it was much easier to put Blake in this way. But of course, we're not done! There's still a few more tricks up my sleeve, and a few more characters to introduce.
ᵛ¹·¹·¹ ᵃᵈᵈᵉᵈ ᶠᵘⁿ ˡᶦⁿᵏ ⁺ ᵍʳᵃᵐᵐᵃʳ ᶠᶦˣᵉˢ