Hello again fellow South Park enthusiasts, hope you've all enjoyed my little tale of death so far, it's been really fun doing this, and I think that this is turning out pretty good so far, and if any of you have any tips for my pet project, then let me know in the reviews :) This is the last thing I'll post before my holiday, so yeah. I would like to thank Jack797 for their reviews on this story, so thank you so much! As always, please enjoy, and R/R.
Disclaimer: I do not on South Park or any of its characters. If I did, I wouldn't be doing this, would I?
When I get back to Earth, it's around dinner time, but our family doesn't have any fucking food this week. Anyway, I already ate food down in Hell simply so I wouldn't be starving when I came back. Even if we did have any food, I would give mine to my little sister Karen, cause she has a tough enough life as it is without starving.
The next day I get ready for school and walk to the bus stop. No-one remembers my latest death, obviously, so everyone just ignores me. I'm honestly just fucking sick of dying at this point. Right now, I've probably died almost every way possible. Seriously, name a type of death, and I've died from it.
I have died from your basic decapitation, drowning, suffocation, burning to death, COVID-19, being run over, shot and stabbed. You know, just the usual. I've also experienced many more of the odd deaths, such as being turned into human jelly, becoming a zombie, turning inside out, drinking acid, being squashed by a space shuttle, aliens and more.
I have a feeling that I won't die today, but that feeling could also be a deadly virus, so who knows? Cartman just started a fire, and the old tree in the playground is now burning. Great. Oh shit, it just fell on a bunch of Canadians! Well, that's just an awesome way to start the day. At least it didn't fall on me.
It's gonna be the weekend soon, so I've been piling up whatever money I can find in case Dad decides to spend all his money on beer instead of food for his fucking family. Stan and Kyle walk up to me in the hallway and ask me if I want to go to the movies with them.
"Sure, why not" I reply, since I found some extra money at the bus stop this morning.
The final bell rings, and as we're leaving school for the day to go to the cinemas, Cartman runs up to us and cries out "Wait for meeeeee guys"
Jesus fucking Christ he sounds like a pig. I'm not joking, he sounds like a fucking pig when he talks, he even squeals like one too. The fucking retard.
"No fat boy," Kyle says back to him "You can't come to the movies with us. You always get to choose what movie we watch, and you always choose the shittiest ones!"
"No I don't Kahl, you dirty Jew!" he retorts angrily.
"Yes you do Cartman. You never let us watch anything we want when you come with us!" Stan replies frustrated.
"Jeez guys, calm the fuck down!" I say. "Cartman, leave us alone, and let us watch a fucking movie without you for once!"
"Keeenny, how could you? I thought we were friends!" he whines.
"No dumb-ass, you once drugged me and tried to sell me on the black market!" I shout back angrily.
Kyle sighs wearily and says "I'm out. If Cartman won't stop bitching about this, then he'll force us to let him come, and I'm sick of his shit!"
"Yeah, I'm out too" Stan agrees.
"Fuck you Eric" I say furiously as Stan and Kyle walk to their homes. Now I have to go back to my shitty house, and I have nothing to do but read my porn magazines.
Actually, the porn bit isn't so bad - cause its porn - it's the fact that I could've gone to the movies with my friends and now I can't. So that's absolute shit. Fucking Cartman! When I get home, I'm tempted to just shoot myself of drink some rat poison just to escape, but there's not much I haven't done in the afterlife, so I decide NOT to kill myself.
AHHHHHHH, Chapter 4 IS DONE! Hope you had as much fun reading it as I did writing it! Thank you all so much for reading this, it makes me feel like I'm good at something, cause I suck at most things lol. Also, happy Easter for whenever that is. Thanks XD