Notes: So I've changed directions somewhat here with Caitlin and Killer Frost. Instead of keeping them separate like the show ultimately went with, I'm taking a middle road between the two.

Chapter 4

"Oh come on!" Hartley griped the moment the disorientation from being super-speeded to the basement wore off.

Wally gave him an unrepentant look. "I'm not sorry," the guy warned.

"If it were the assassin who started the electrical fire, don't you think he'd have started with something more dramatic?" Hartley demanded. "Like the lights going out?"

"Well... yeah, but what if he's not the only one left? Just because the silent guy and sparky were at your apartment complex at the same time..." Wally blocked Hartley from rushing to the stairs. "Really? Dude? I'm a speedster."

"Shut up, it was worth a try," Hartley grumbled. He sighed and stood still listening to what was happening above their heads. "It's Caitlin."

"What?"

"Caitlin's at the door." Hartley gave him an impatient look. "I can hear her and Cisco being awkward at each other and I'd rather not. We've got a grocery list, right?"

Wally nodded uncertainly.

"Then let's grab that and our wallets and use groceries as an excuse to get out of here for, like, at least half an hour so they can shout at each other or whatever. I really, really don't want to listen to them having it out from down here." Because the stiffness in Cisco's voice basically promises an uncomfortable conversation is brewing at the very least.

"I'm going to check upstairs first," Wally told him. "And if you're right about it being Caitlin then, yeah, sure, I'm all for a grocery run."

Hartley nodded and waited while Wally streaked away and then back in a few seconds at most. "So, are we good for hiding at the nearest grocery store?"

"Yup." Wally nodded. "We're good."

"I checked STAR Labs first, but it's empty there," Caitlin said, looking around pretty much everywhere but Cisco. "I thought it'd be worth checking here since you mentioned Hartley's life was being threatened."

"His apartment complex was set on fire and then he was attacked at his parents house, so it seemed like a good time to finally put the safe house to use," Cisco replied, feeling uncertain.

After the accelerator exploded, they'd practically become attached at the hip. Like Fitz-Simmons from Agents of SHIELD but with a relationship that actually stayed platonic. And, sure, they'd still had secrets from each other, but... Cisco doesn't know where this distance between them even came from. Is this his fault? Or hers? Or is it that no one was to blame and their friendship was never as stable and close as Cisco had thought...

Her hair is still platinum blonde, but her eyes are Caitlin's warm brown. And maybe this is the new normal for her. It's not like Cisco has any way to know right now.

"So how's the whole finding yourself thing going?" Cisco finally asked.

Caitlin shrugged. "Slow going, but not glacial."

Despite his unease, Cisco snorted with amusement.

"I'm sorry, Cisco. I handled... I handled things badly when I left. And I hurt you a lot." She finally looked over at him. "My powers altered my brain chemistry. And while they were still manifesting, I was getting yanked back and forth between two extremes, which was why I was all over the place. But that doesn't excuse the awful things I did or bad choices made out of fear. And I know its a lot to ask, but... I'd like to try and make things up to you. If having my around is something you'd even be okay with."

Cisco had no idea what to say. She was his best friend, and she'd tried to kill him. If things had been even a little bit different, she'd have frozen his hands to the point he'd have needed them amputated. And thanks to his powers, he knows exactly how much physical and emotional agony he'd have been in when it happened. But he'd still put the potential cure for her powers into her hands and told her that the only one who could decide who she'd be - healer or killer, hero or villain - was her. He still loved her.

He'd always love her.

But now that she was actually in front of him, he had to figure out if he even wanted her in his life anymore. And Cisco had no idea what to say. Because the knee-jerk response was to want to hug her, but the very idea of doing so was actually... a little terrifying now.

Thankfully... thankfully this was when Wally appeared with Hartley in the middle of the living room.

"So we're going to do a grocery run," Hartley said cheerfully. "And then we're doing home made pasta and... I have no idea what for dessert. Do we have what we need for chocolate cake from scratch or something like that?"

Wally gave Cisco a look and then shrugged exaggeratedly. As if to say 'he's your friend, man, I just work here.' Which was fair.

"Right, so ingredients for pasta and cake. Are you going to be joining us for dinner, Caitlin?" Hartley paused a beat, then frowned, "are you even still going by Caitlin? Also, I love the hair."

"Caitlin is fine," she said, smiling fondly and reaching up to tuck some of that very white hair behind her ears. Though it wasn't perfectly white hair now that Cisco was paying attention. Pale blue highlights seemed to shimmer in the light. "But I've also been going by Frost lately." She waved at Wally, "hi Wally."

"Hi." Wally shuffled uneasily.

"Alright," Hartley said brandishing a list, "I've written down everything we'll need to buy. Frost? Dinner?"

"Uh..." she glanced at Cisco, uncertain of her welcome.

"Yeah. She'll be staying," he answered. "We've got a lot to talk about."

"Right then." Hartley grinned over at Wally, "so are we driving or do I get to have the fun of being carried around by a hot speedster again?"

"Dude, keep it up and I'm abandoning you at the closest Krogers." Wally rolled his eyes. "You're driving."

Hartley grinned as Wally tossed him the keys. But then he came over and took Cisco aside. "Are you okay staying here with her? We can wait for Joe to get here if you'd rather."

Cisco shook his head. She was different, but she was still Caitlin. "I'll be fine. Go get the groceries. If you get attacked at the grocery store..."

"I've got my cuffs and Wally'll get me out of there as soon as it's feasible." Hartley made a scout's salute.

"Were you ever actually a boy scout?" Cisco asked dryly.

"Yeah, unfortunately. I think I got excommunicated-"

"They're not the Church," Cisco muttered in amusement.

"Excommunicated," Hartley repeated firmly, grinning, "when I was publicly outed." He waved the keys and nodded towards Wally. "Kid Flash, to the STAR-mobile. Away!"

"I'm going to regret this, aren't I?" Wally asked, heading out the door with Hartley.

Caitlin snickered. "Hartley's unwound a lot," she mused as the door shut.

"I hadn't realized just how much," Cisco admitted. "Despite the threats hanging over him, I've been really glad to have him around." He paused a beat, then added, "Julian's back in town."

"Oh..." Her eyes went wide.

"Do you really prefer going by Frost instead of Caitlin? I just... I don't want to call you something that makes you uncomfortable," Cisco asked, changing the subject quickly. He'd warned her, but he was definitely not having that conversation with her. Whatever happened with Julian... Cisco would rather stay out of it.

"I don't feel like Caitlin anymore," she admitted softly. "I feel like Caitlin died and I woke up someone else. But I still love my friends. I'm still me and I'm not..."

"Killer Frost," Cisco said quietly. Firmly "I guess you're still working things out for yourself, Frost." It'd take some getting used to, calling her by her new name. But he'd meant what he said. The last thing Cisco wanted was to make her feel like she couldn't be herself now that she'd changed.

"Do you think there can still be a place for me on the Team?" Frost asked, her fingers twisting nervously.

Different words, but essentially the same question she'd asked before. And maybe the answer really was just that simple.

Cisco stepped forward and wrapped Frost in a hug, ignoring how cold she felt in his arms and the phantom ache in his hands. He'd get over it. "There'll always be a place for you. You're still my best friend. You're always going to be my best friend."

"I guess we've got a lot to talk about. Let's start with what you said about having a crush on Hartley," Frost said, pulling away. "What happened with Cynthia?"

"Fizzled," Cisco told her. "We put off the first date too long and then were trying too hard to make it work and just..." he shrugged and led the way over to the couch.

Frost settles down in with plenty of space between them and Cisco knows this is just a start. There's a lot he's really not ready to bring up right now and probably a lot she's not ready to talk about yet either.

But she's still his best friend. Simmons to his Fitz. (He's really never going to forgive that show for taking the romantic route with those two.)

They'll be okay, with time.

Hartley is actually a lot of fun. Bizarre and definitely gone stir-crazy, but fun.

The two of them bounce around the grocery store, swapping ridiculous stories about previous store runs they'd been on.

"So I'm, like, eight I guess," Wally told him, "and mom had a standing joke threat about hanging me upside down in the closet from my ankles if I didn't eat my vegetables. She'd never have actually done it, but it was just..."

"No I get it. I had a college friend who had a thing with his dad where they'd cheerfully talk poisons while checking their tea for tampering. Sometimes parents and their kids just have weird, morbid fun," Hartley shrugged and grinned. "Go on."

"Right, so, busybody old lady overhears and she just starts berating my mom for abusing me, which she hasn't been, so I told her... but lady, I like it." Wally grinned as Hartley laughed.

"She stomped off in a huff?"

"Got it in one." Wally's smile turned rueful, though. "Mom stopped joking like that afterwards, though. She was always so afraid of losing me... at the time I didn't really read into it. But I think what that lady said struck a nerve that had more to do with Iris than with me."

"I'm sorry. You must miss her a lot." Hartley gave him a sympathetic look. "And it's probably not easy to talk about her to Iris or your dad."

"It's not. Iris had this perfect memory of her that got shattered when mom showed up very much alive and... I get why she resents mom so much for abandoning her and dad. I resent mom a little for that. All the times my life would have been better for having a dad or a big sister... having a big brother in Barry too. But it makes telling Iris about all the good times feel like... I'm rubbing it in that I had mom when I needed her and Iris didn't. I think she has a hard time talking to me about being a kid for kind of the same reason, all the times dad was there for her but couldn't be for me because mom..." he shrugged. "And dad was just so crushed by what mom did to him, that he's glad to know my childhood was a good one, but it kills him knowing she kept me from him. That she denied him the chance to be my dad growing up. It's this big complicated thing."

"What was her favorite dessert?" Hartley asked, a seeming non-sequitur.

"Bread pudding," Wally told him.

"How about that instead of chocolate cake tonight?"

Wally grinned widely at him. "That'd be awesome. Do you know how to make it? Because I'd have to go find mom's recipes otherwise..."

"Version I know is french bread, eggs, milk, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, sugar, rum, bananas, brown sugar, and butter. Sound about right?" Hartley leaned against the cart, watching Wally expectantly.

"Peaches instead of bananas is how mom usually made it. Assuming peaches were in season. Did it with apples a few times too."

"Peaches sound delicious," Hartley declared. "Let's go check out the fruit. You know, in college, there were a group of us who decided what kind of fruit we were," which was clearly leading to another gay joke. Honestly, if Wally got a dollar for every pun and gay joke Hartley'd made that evening, he could probably pay for the entire grocery bill by the time they made it to the register. Admittedly, that was half the fun.

It was as they were finally headed to the register, in fact, that they realized they had a tail. Well, Hartley realized it first.

"Don't look now, but the grumpy old man trailing along behind us appears to specifically be grumpy about us."

"Oh?" Wally started to look and Hartley poked him in the side.

"Why is it people always look? I said 'don't look now' Walls." Hartley rolled his eyes. "Anyway, I think he thinks we're a couple."

"So he's either homophobic, hates interracial couples, or both," Wally concluded.

"Exactly."

Wally grinned and hooked arms with Hartley, mock fluttering his lashes at the guy. "Well, what's your opinion on fake dating a dude who's real dating a chick from a parallel Earth?"

"I'm a very considerate faux metamour; Jesse and I shall get along charmingly. My darling," Hartley tacked the endearment on at the end with some lash-fluttering of his own.

They cracked up and, this time, deliberately looked over their shoulders at the grumpy old white guy behind them. He scowled at them and looked away.

"You must be really head over heels for Hartley if you're this anxious about him being at a grocery store with a speedster to look after him," Frost teased.

Cisco groaned. "I just... promised myself I'd take care of him. Keep him safe. And he's... nearly died twice already."

"All down to alien tech he wasn't even paying attention to," Cait... Frost observed with a shake of her head. "Of course, the real answer about your anxiousness is that you have a cru-ush." She snickered when Cisco pouted.

He shouldn't have told her he got jealous over Hartley flirting with Julian. She was going to tease him for that one for a long while. "Shut up." Cisco buried his face in his hands.

"You think he's cu-ute."

"So would your full name be Frost Snow now?" Cisco asked innocently.

"Oh god no." She stared at him wide-eyed. "I didn't think of that. That's awful. Noooo, I need a new last name."

There was a sound outside as a car pulled into the drive. Cisco practically leaped from the couch and went to throw open the front door. Indeed, it was Hartley and Wally returned from grocery shopping. Hartley bright grin as he got out of the van was just...

Cisco felt himself flush, heat burning not just his cheeks but down his chest. He wanted to kiss the corners of Hartley's mouth and taste the sunlight coming off that smile.

"We pissed off a racist homophobe at the checkout," Wally announced cheerfully as he handed over some bags to Frost to help carry in.

"Oooh, fun," Frost grinned. "Tell me more, tell me more, like did he steam from the ears?"

"We're still not watching Grease tonight," Cisco called.

"Spoilsport."

Hartley snickered and handed Cisco a few bags too. "So we changed course on dessert. It'll be bread pudding instead of chocolate cake."

"Sounds good. I have no idea if we have rum for it though," Cisco frowned thoughtfully. They had tequila and brandy and a few other spirits... they probably had rum...

"Eh, it's just as good with brandy and I'm pretty sure I saw that in the pantry," Hartley reassured him. "Everything okay?" he added, quieter and nodding over at Frost.

"Yeah. Well, not everything, but we're gonna get there."

It's two-forty-ish in the morning when Hartley wakes up to the sound of panicked breathing in the other room. He's out of bed before he can really think about it. But once he does engage his brain, he heads for the door and goes to Cisco's room anyway. Because Cisco is in distress and, even if its just nightmares, Hartley would like to try to make it better.

"Cisco," Hartley says as he opens the door.

The noise that greets him is quite upsetting and very much not awake. Cisco's soft gasp of pain is what has Hartley all but bolting across the room to, gently, shake Cisco awake, however.

Cisco's eyes flutter open at Hartley's touch and he pulls away, jerking himself upright and looking around frantically before, slowly, slumping back into his pillows.

"Just a nightmare," Cisco said, voice shaky. He was rubbing his hands together, like they were cold.

"Just a nightmare," Hartley agreed softly, wanting very much to run his fingers through sleep mussed hair. "Want to talk about it?"

"Nope."

"Want some hot chocolate?"

Cisco chuckled softly, but sat up, wiping at his face was he did. "Yeah. Okay."

Once in the kitchen, Hartley pulled out a saucepan, the milk jug, two packets of hot cocoa mix, two large mugs, and two shot glasses. The brandy was still out from where he'd left it after using it in the bread pudding the evening before. (It had turned out delicious but, with a speedster in the house, there were no leftovers.)

While Joe had arrived in time to help out with the cooking, he'd left in time to dodge helping with the dishes. And Frost had bowed out, promising Cisco he could call any time now and she'd answer. So it was just Hartley, Cisco, and Wally left in the house for the night. And Wally already had what Hartley suspected was his nightly run around midnight and was likely now sleeping solidly.

"What's with the brandy?" Cisco asked. "Gonna spike the drinks?"

"Pretty much. One shot per mug, and if you drop it in last, it's basically a hot toddy but with cocoa instead of tea. While tea is my usual go to for sleepless nights, hot chocolate is my cure for nightmares." With the milk and chocolate in the saucepan on the stove, Hartley poured two shots of brandy and set them beside their respective mugs. "And the alcohol is because it was on the counter, so why not?"

Cisco snickered.

"I also thought it'd be good for you to drink something hot, since you were acting like you were cold," Hartley checked on the saucepan, fetching a spoon to stir with. He glanced over at Cisco, who'd gone very still. "You sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"I... I don't know." Cisco's eyes went distant and he shivered where he stood, rubbing his arms as if to ward off a non-existent chill. Because certainly it was too warm a night for Cisco to be actually cold. "I... after Caitlin... she died Hartley. She died and Julian took her necklace off and her powers just... she woke and she was Killer Frost and even though she's fond some sort of balance that... that keeps her powers from screwing with her brain chemistry or at least figured out how to work around it, she's never gonna be Caitlin again. And I keep telling myself I haven't lost my best friend, but I... I vibed something when she was still working with Savitar. She froze my hands off..." Cisco was unconsciously flexing his fingers and, well, the milk was doing fine on the stove for the moment.

Hartley walked over and took Cisco's hands in his. And, impulsively, brought them up to his face. Dropped a kiss on the back of each hand that made Cisco's breath hitch each time.

"She's my best friend," Cisco repeated, shakily, "and I'm afraid of her. And angry with her. And eventually I'm going to have to talk to her about all of this."

"It'll feel like you're taking one step forward and two steps back for a while, I bet. Until the two of you figure out your new balance." Hartley refrains from mentioning how different Frost's personality was to Caitlin's. Frost was, in some ways, warmer than Caitlin had been. Less reserved. But in other ways far colder and sharper. He can't help but wonder what Ronnie would have made of these changes in her, but Hartley suspects he'd have come to love her regardless.

"Unfortunately," Cisco agreed with a sigh. "Hartley, uh..." he stared at their hands and licked his lips. "Are you..." his eyes flicked up to Hartley's face... his mouth really.

Deliberately, Hartley brought their hands back up and, this time, dropped a kiss on the back of Cisco's knuckles. Right first and then left. Loving the sound of Cisco's breath hitching again each time. The way Cisco's lashes brushed against his cheeks and the heat that darkened his checks with a flush.

"I should check on the cocoa," Hartley said, voice a touch huskier than normal as he released Cisco's hands.

"Oh you're a tease," Cisco breathed out.

"Mmm, but I suspect you like that about me." Hartley grinned as he stirred the lightly simmering mixture in the pan before taking it off the stove and pouring it into the two mugs. Then in went the shots and Hartley took them to the couch.

Cisco joined him there and, with a look of askance, settled himself against Hartley's side, warm mug of hot chocolate in hand. "So if I were to ask if you were seducing me...?"

"Well, hot chocolate and the discussion of nightmares aren't my go to seduction technique but since I was about eighty percent certain I heard Frost say you think I'm cute as I was driving back up to the house earlier, I'm working with what I've got. Though if I'm seducing you into anything, it's sleepy cuddles because no matter how much this place is renovated it's still Harrison's house and the idea of having sex here - even saying fuck you to fake Harrison sex - is just super weird to me."

Chuckling, Cisco put the mug back on the coffee table. "Yeah, I've, uh... vibed enough to know why that is too. I'm good with sleepy cuddles. We can always go back to my place for sex later."

"I'd offer my place, but it reeks of smoke and I'd have an asthma attack during foreplay. I know inhalers are sexy and all, but..." Hartley snickered when Cisco swatted his arm. "Hey!"

"Dork."

"I'm pretty sure the technical term is 'nerd'. Like the candy."

"Well," Cisco said, his voice definitely taking a seductive lilt to it, "I do like sucking on sweet things..."

Hartley whined softly as his brain landed in the gutter. "That's right. Oral fixation." He was, quite possibly, never again going to be able to look at Cisco sucking on a lollipop or twirling a Red Vine in his mouth without thinking of blow jobs. And he hadn't even gotten a blow job from Cisco yet.

Except now he kind of wanted to give Cisco a blow job because Hartley liked doing that too...

"You aren't the only one who enjoys that," Hartley informed him, then added, "just to clarify things here, we're talking actual dating too, right? Not just sex?"

"Yeah. Definitely wanna go on dates and do lots of snuggling on couches and sleepy cuddles. But also sex," Cisco yawned and reached for his mug again. "Just not sex in this house."

Hartley retrieved his own drink to sip on. Though given the rate both he and Cisco were yawning, he was pretty sure they were going to find themselves curled up together snoozing in Cisco's room soon enough.

All in all... not a bad way to spend three AM in the morning.

Cisco wakes up with Hartley curled up in bed next to him and it's just... lovely. Absolutely lovely.

"Can hear you thinking," Hartley mutters, snuggling against Cisco neck.

Running his fingers up and down Hartley's spine, Cisco muttered softly, "just enjoying waking up with you."

Half asleep still, Hartley preened. Such an ego on that one. "Like sleepy cuddles with you too," he muttered, puffs of breath against Cisco's skin that made him wish they were in his apartment and not the safe house.

But, well... Cisco didn't begrudge Hartley for being uncomfortable with the idea of having sex in this place. For all they'd done to reclaim thw house, Eobard Thawne's shadow hadn't been completely excised from the place. Not the atmosphere either of them wanted for their first time together.

"I don't want to get up," Hartley added. "Can't I just stay here warm and comfy with you all day?"

"Nope, sorry, there's work to do," Cisco said, sitting up slowly and kissing Hartley on the forehead as he did. "Also I've really got to go to the bathroom."

"Yeah." Hartley grumbled and sat up too. "So do I."

They headed into the bathroom together, glad for the separate sinks so they didn't have to argue over who brushed their teeth first after they took turns using the toilet.

"I'm going to take a shower," Cisco said, running a hand through his hair and making a face at the texture. Definitely needed a wash...

"I'll wake up Wally and make breakfast," Hartley offered, kissing Cisco on the cheek before disappearing into his bedroom to change.

The lights flickered and Cisco frowned. But nothing else happened, so he got into the shower. He'd have to check the breakers later, just in case. And the backup generators they kept for the basement.

Last thing they wanted was for this place to lose power when they were actually using it for a change.