CHAPTER 4

Addison Montgomery is back…and she's back with my McDreamy. Are they back together? Meredith was having a wild thoughts as the woman her McDreamy once loved is back. And he's in LA living in Addison's house. Meredith's heart was broken that it was making her hard to breathe. She couldn't accept the fact that Derek went to LA to get his ex-wife back. Breathe your ass, Shepherd! You left me without warning now the news is spreading that you're back with your ex wife?! Her mind wondered if it was started on Amelia's wedding. Derek went home to her, late and cold. She tried asking but he didn't budge to talk about it. He was always dodging that topic whenever Meredith opened it up.

"Do you still love me, Derek?" That was the dumbest question Meredith asked to Derek. She didn't wanna know the question but at the same time she wanted to. "At least shell out a hint so I know whether to stay or go."

"Meredith, if you still have some respect for me and for yourself, you should put an end on asking me questions you don't ought me to answer." Derek didn't look at her. "I need to breathe." And just slammed the door of his office before going to Richard's to talk about— LA.

~

Phone call, that was the only channel of communication between the two hearts longing for each other. Exchanging of " I missed you." Wasn't enough to clinch the hankering of their souls to just jump into each other, loll peacefully together. "It's still the same Derek." Addison muttered, running her fingers on every side of Derek's trailer. And yes, she decided to sleep in the trailer tonight since she still has the key, to somehow conceit the longing and missing she was feeling. "It hasn't changed since you left, and because I was staying with—" Derek stopped himself from saying the woman's name, knowing he would trounce Addison, but the queen of passive-aggressiva took it well, once again. "I get it Derek." She flopped down the soft bed, remembering about the decent sex they shared together. The corner of her lips twitched up, "I could maybe sleep well tonight, knowing that I'll be sleeping on your bed…" A bed full of white lies. But Addison didn't mind. She was completely over it, and as Derek said, start fresh. "If only I was there with you I would wrap my arms around you, kiss you and—"

"Derek!" Addison objurgated him. "That's enough. It's already late and I'm tired." Derek heard a yawn from the Seattle line. "If I was there with you, I'd give you a full body massage." And Addison heard the desire on Derek's smug smile from the LA line. "Why don't you sing me to sleep then?" Addison didn't hear a word for a minute. She might've thought Derek was already asleep, also was about to hang up but she finally heard a humming sound.

Made my mistake, let you down

And I can't, I can't hold on for too long

Ran my whole life in the ground

And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

Derek managed to made the rock song as a lullaby. He's not just good in the OR, singing is also one of his many talents that I love about him. Addison purred to herself, continued listening to Derek's lullaby.

And something's breaking up

I feel like giving up

I won't walk out until you know

Here I go

Scream my lungs out

Try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go

There's just no one who gets me like you do

You are my only one, my only one

Derek didn't know, Addison was already drifting to sleep because of his cool voice. "Addie, are you still awake?" Addison shut her eyes open, but her lids were slowly falling. She was too sleepy but she's keeping herself up. "I am." But Derek heard her sleepy voice. "Alrighty. I won't keep you up now. Goodnight Addie. I love you." The redhead yawned so loud. "Goodnight Derek." He was waiting for her to say back the three words he was waiting to hear from her, but the last thing he heard was a beep of the phone, indicating that Addison's already fast asleep. " Sooner or later, I could finally hear those words from you again, Addison."

~

The Montgomery Is Back news spread so fast in the entire hospital. Some must've been confused, other's might be surprised and happy, but Meredith Grey felt betrayed and in pain. Specially that she'd be on Addison's service today for the TTTS case. "Good morning Dr. Grey." As usual, Addison showed her smile with her eyes and enthusiastic voice greeting everyone. Including Meredith herself. Tho she knew Derek and she hurt Addison back then. "Good morning Dr. Montgomery." At least, she didn't have to call her Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd. "We already had the same case back when I first came here. So I specifically asked Dr. Bailey to assign you on my service today because I know you did great the last time." For fvck's sake, how can she be this kind and calm after what we've done to her?! Derek was right, Addison is really the queen of passive-aggressiva. "Come on. Let's kick this day off."

In the cafeteria, Meredith and her friends were talking about Addison. While the redhead was also taking lunch with Dr. Torres and her wife, Dr. Robbins. "Wow you're on her service today? Is she not being Satan to you?" Cristina asked, still looking at the redhead doctor. "She's not. I mean, she's still the same Addison, but happier and calmer." Meredith answer them as general because she knew the rest would ask the same question. "Is that because she and McDreamy are back together? I heard that he's living in her house in LA right now." That lacerated Meredith's heart. It's true. But she just kept it to herself. "I thought you and Dr. Shepherd are still together?" Alex mumbled while eating his sandwich. "I honestly don't know and I don't wanna talk about him." But I personally want to ask Addison if the rumor was true. "Let's just eat lunch."

On the other side of the world, Derek was with Sam, hanging at the practice. Shocked when he saw Jake, in his office. "That Fiji guy is working here?!" Derek asked, about to go out from Sam's office to confront the guy. "Derek calm down. He's new. Addison hired him, he's a great doctor, and we don't afford to lose someone like him." Sam explained, but Derek's clenching his fists again. He couldn't remove the idea that some other guy was putting his wife—the guts he got there, to sleep. Thinking if he didn't screw things up with Addison, he's still be with her back in Seattle, hangout on the viewfinders, or even in the woods, hunting for wild animals, fishing on the lake, shopping and just lying on the bed all day.

Back in New York tho, when the snow began to fall, he would light up the fireplace, make her a hot chocolate drink, wrap a blanket around their shoulders, talk about how each other's day went, until one thing would lead to another. He missed that, he missed every single memory he shared with Addison. He didn't want those to be thrown away just like the way he threw her out of the rain. That was a nightmare he wanted to delete from both of his and Addison's mind. We are starting fresh, I don't wanna do something that can make her push me away.

"I'm looking for Dr. Addison Forbes—Montgomery." A woman knocked on Sam's open door. Derek wanted to answer the woman, "Shepherd. Addison Montgomery—Shepherd." But he didn't have the right to, because they're no longer married. And he liked to correct that so much. So he said "She's in Seattle. But I am her—" husband? Boyfriend? Neither. "I'm Derek Shepherd. I can be her substitute." The woman with sharp eyes and firm standing looked at Derek from head to toe. Sam was just smirking, since Derek didn't really know who he was taking to. But he backed up Derek by saying "Yes. He is Addison's better half." Derek just looked at Sam with wide eyes and a twitching smile.

~

"You did amazing back there Dr. Grey. Thank you." Addison smiled at Meredith, it was actually irritating her because she didn't know if it was just for a show or Addison was real. Maybe it's the right time to… "Addison, can I ask you a question?" They're in the lobby of the hospital and it was getting kind of late. Addison somewhat knew what the Grey girl would be asking her, but she stopped walking anyway and nodded, hinting Meredith to throw her question. Her heart was beating so fast, but she's ready to answer the questions. Addison wasn't holding back anymore, she's ready to show everyone what she has. "Are you and Derek getting back together? Are you back together?" Meredith looked down once she dropped the question her chest was carrying since yesterday.

"Dr. Grey I—"

"Please answer me straight, Addison." The begging voice irritated Addison too, for she was all professional to Meredith when she's just calling her first name ever since she came back to Seattle, instead of calling her professionally. So… " Meredith. It is better to validate my answer if you finally see the—" Addison was interrupted by a familiar voice calling, no yelling her name.

" Addison!" It's getting louder. "Addison Forbes–Montgomery!" She looked around and she saw no one tho. Until the loudest calling broke her eardrum. " Dr. Addison Montgomery–Shepherd!"

Meredith's heart dropped and it shattered like a fragile glass. She familiarized that voice too, and she knew that she already validated Addison's answer.

"Derek?!" Addison gasped, looking at the Neuro god, carrying a two-year old boy in his arms. It felt like the whole world stopped and everyone was watching a movie. Addison is back, Derek finally turned but with plus one. Who's that kid? Addison rushed towards them, getting the boy from Derek's arms. "Ma…" the little boy babbled excitedly, seeing his mother again.

Meredith was left standing at the center of the lobby, watching a family reunion.

"Do you have plans on telling me about him, Addie?" Derek ran his fingers through his hair. "I—" of course Addison didn't want Derek to know things this way. "We should go home and let's talk about this, please."

"Ooh, Satan and McDremay have a McChild." Cristina commented, standing beside the grieving Meredith. She was weak at that moment but she's stuck watching the real Shepherds reunite. "I know you're hurting Meredith. But don't stand there, let's go to our lockers to get our things and straight to Joe's." Cristina finally pulled Meredith away from the scene, to help her somehow ease the pain. No chance for me then.

~

"You should've told me about him, Addie." Derek somehow raised his voice, not believing the situation right now. He's just pacing back and forth while Addison was sitting on the bed, lulling the boy in her arms. "Derek calm down. Please." She whispered since the little boy was slowly drifting off to sleep. "I was planning to tell you about it, but the panties in your tux–" Addison sighed, putting the boy on the bed since he was already fast asleep. "I left without telling you about my child. Because I was so broken that I didn't want him to be involved into something that will question his existence. So I kept him away from you, because I knew there's no chance for us to be together again. You were loving someone else and you were happy. So—"

"So you decided to fly to LA to raise our child alone? Our child Addie!" Addison flinched when Derek came closer to her to shake her shoulders. "I know. And please stop raising your voice."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." He locked her in his arms, "I am really sorry Addie you've gone through this alone. I should've been there. Now I missed two thanksgivings, two Christmases and two birthdays with him."

"Derek."

"Introduce me as his father. And I won't miss any single second to be his father. Addison, let me prove it to you." He suddenly knelt down, pulling a box from his pocket. "I am going to be a good husband and a father, if you'd let me."

"Are you asking me to marry you because you knew you had a child with me? What happened to taking it slow Derek?"

"The truth is, I've been carrying this ring the whole time since I landed in LA. It's my mother's heirloom ring. I was so stupid not to give this to you back then. But I know now, everything is right and is falling into places." Derek took Addison's left hand. "I am going to give you everything, treat you right, be the man you wanted me to be. I will be everything you need, Addison. So please marry me again?"

How romantic a Shepherd was, proposing inside his small trailer with a sleeping baby on their bed, and the only light they have was the moonlight.

"All I needed from you Derek, is to put our child above all else. Be a good example as he grows older. And if you could do that, then yes, I'll marry you…again."

Finally, Derek felt so right sliding the ring on Addison's finger. He then stood up to plant a soft kiss on Addison's lips. "I love you Addie."

" I love you more Derek." And finally, his heart exploded with fireworks of happiness when Addison said those words he'd been longing to hear.

"I want to put you on top of me but…" he looked at behind his fiancé and saw a peacefully sleeping baby. "Okay Derek, that's not necessary at the moment." Addison giggled, placing her lips against her fiancé once again. Their lips were made perfectly for each other. After exchanging romantic and sweet kisses, they decided to stay on the bed to stare at their sleeping child. "He has your curly dreamy hair you know. And your smirk."

"And he has your brilliant green eyes and your nose. And he's already talkative, I wonder where he got that." Derek teased, Addison just rolled her eyes giggling. "He's a beautiful boy Addie. He's beautiful like the moon."

And that's where his name came from.

" Elfin Christof Montgomery–Shepherd."