Hey friends! So I think this chapter is gonna come out on time (I write these notes in the beginning when I start the chapter) but future-Fangirl may not cooperate with me. We'll see what happens though! Getting this one to you all in a timely fashion hasn't been too bad, my testing schedule was light last week, but seriously don't expect next week's chapter on time. The week this should go out is going to be disastrous for my schedule, so I'll have barely any time to write. Anywhooo, here's chapter four, hope you enjoy, and pms and reviews are open if you feel so compelled to write to me. Hope you're all well! (I feel like I say that all the time but seriously if you aren't ok or just want to talk to someone you can always reach out to me, please don't hesitate, even if we've never spoken before. I love making friends and I'd love to be of assistance to anyone in any way I can).

We were outside Steve's apartment. Standing close, it was cold. I could taste the alcohol on my breath- or was it his? I leaned into the kiss, having to tilt my head down to reach his lips. It was a few moments before we pulled away.

"Wow Flor…" He scratched the back of his head, ducking down, unable to look me in the eyes. He sheepishly continued," That was uh, something else."

"Yeah… I didn't know you were so good a kisser." I could feel my cheeks reddening, but it wasn't from the cold.

"I… you're great and all Flor, but I think you should get back in the cab."

I felt my chest fall. I didn't like Steve in that way at all, I just didn't want to be alone right now. I wanted to escape and hide from my feelings. Maybe if I slept with Steve it would fill that hole in my heart long enough for me to have a minute of peace and distraction.

"You can spend the night here if you want, I mean like not like that, you can take the bed and I'll have the couch." He was stuttering over his words, god he was such an epitome of himself when he was drunk.

"Yeah I'd like that, Steve."

His apartment was dingy and dark, but there was a warmth to it. Steve didn't do much decorating, but he had hung a few posters up for different bands, a pennant from our old high school, and a few picture frames were scattered around. A few of them were of him and his mother, a few with my family, and a lot with me and Barnes.

I layed in Steve's bed for a while, trying to fall asleep. His bed smelt so much like him- a light musk with something in it that just made you feel at ease. After an hour of tossing and turning I sat up.

"Steve? You awake?"

"I am now." He yawned, sat up and rubbed his eyes, looking around for me in the dark.

"Come to bed?"

"Uh Flor, I thought we decided it was better to not do that."

"No, no no! Get your head out of the gutter Rogers!" We laughed for a minute before I continued, "I just… I feel empty."

I heard Steve rustling around, and saw his silhouette get up. He came over to the bed and laid beside me. It was a small bed, and he was pressed against me, chest to chest.

"Hey" I giggled and he smiled back at me. "It's nice having you close, I don't feel so alone." He reached his hand out and brushed a stray piece of hair behind my ear. He left his hand there for a moment, just staring into my face. I leaned in closer to him, I couldn't see that well in the dark and I wanted to know his expression.

Before I realized what I was doing, I was kissing him again, and this time he was reciprocating it. I rolled us over, so I was straddling him, and our kisses were becoming quicker and more passionate.

"Flor- Kiss. "We-" Kiss. "Have-" Kiss. "To-" Kiss. "Stop!" I pulled away, and gave him a puzzled look.

He sighed, "I can't do this to Buck."

I'm sorry, what did he just say?

"After what happened between you two and everything… I couldn't do that to him, or to you. Besides, this just feels wrong. You don't like me like this." He gave a weak smile.

"I think I'll be going now." I got off him, slid off the bed, and started to collect my belongings.

"No, Flor wait I-"
"You what Steve?" I turned to him, putting my coat on. "I get it ok? I liked Barnes, he kissed me once, you don't want to step on his toes."

"Florence c'mon your drunk-"

"I may have liked him when I was a kid, but I don't now."

"Flor you aren't making any sense."

"Bye Steve. I'll see you 'round." I opened up the door to leave and was face-to-face with the man himself- James Barnes.

"Oh uh hi. Am I interrupting something?" He looked confused and completely shocked.

"No, I was just leaving." I brushed past him and walked out of Steve's building, freezing and drunk.

My dreams were filled with a lot of nasty and weird things that night. Kissing Steve with Bucky watching and yelling "How could you!", my sister and the last time I had spoken to her, some very weird things.

I woke up at eleven, much later than normal for me, with a killer headache. I had only gotten home at around two in the morning, and slept in late. As I stood up the room began to shift and spin and I had to sit back down to prevent motion sickness.

I couldn't keep doing this. The past week has been a nightmare. My sister was dead, she had a family I never even knew about. My best friend and I- oh god. I tried to sleep with Steve last night. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. God, I just hoped he was drunker than I was and he wouldn't remember. I didn't want to ask him and help him recall the incident- so act like it never happened it is. That's a good plan. Just avoid my problems, no confrontation means I can't get hurt.

I got ready for Elle's funeral. Shower, brush my teeth, comb my hair. New makeup, find a black dress that I won't freeze to death in. Ready.

I smoothed out the creases in my dress as I waited outside the funeral parlor. I reached out for the door, wrapped my hands around the cool metal, and waited. I remembered my last memory of opening a door to only crush my spirits.

I couldn't do it. I wanted to go inside, I needed to, but I couldn't. I was paralyzed, something was holding me back.

I fished around my bag for a cigarette, maybe that would give me the courage. My hands were shaking, but it wasn't from the cold. I felt my breath shorten, my lungs felt like they gave out and I soon found myself unable to breathe at all. I was weezing, gasping for air, and I felt my eyes starting to water. The cig fell from my hands, and I was crying and sobbing on limited air supply.

I felt a pair of hands grab my back and pull me towards them. I saw the torso of the man- tall, bulky- before I was engulfed into his chest completely.

I regained my breath and was able to start breathing again. Big, gasping inhales, and short, hollow exhales. With each breath, I took in the scent of the person, and it was a comforting, manly smell. I knew I knew it from somewhere, but I couldn't remember who. I was calming down, slowly, listening to this man's heart beat, being comforted by his scent, beginning to regain some ounce of my composure.

After a few minutes, the person led me inside. I let myself be carried through the people to a seat, and just realized I never saw who had been helping me. I looked into a pair of big, steel blue eyes.

"Barnes?"

"Listen I'm sorry, I know you probably wouldn't have wanted me to do that, if you want to kill me or hit me, it's ok I get it, but I just couldn't leave you like that you looked awful and in so much pain and…" He trailed off before looking back at me. "I'm sorry Flor."

I placed my hand on his arm, gave it a slight squeeze, and a tiny smile. I couldn't bring myself to say anything, I wasn't mature enough for that, but I did appreciate what he did… even though it was him.

He got up and went to the back of the room, telling me where he would be if I needed anything. As much as I didn't want to be alone right now, I respected that he gave me space. He knew where he stood with me and wasn't trying to push it. Zi was shocked that he had come, and his maturity sucked out some of the animosity i had towards him. I cant believe Barnes grew up.

The mass wasn't very long, most of us weren't too big on religion, but we still had mass for the older people all the same. I gave up on religion a while ago. The Irish-Catholic immigrant stereotype wasn't for me, and I don't know how there could be a god above if he just lets all this shit go on down here. And if god is real, who am I to give a name or attributes to him and do some silly little prayers that request him to do certain things. If he was real, Elle would still be here.

Carl and I greeted and thanked people as they came and went, it was mostly friends that had come to visit since our family wasn't in America. Some neighbors from our old apartment building, friends of my mother before she went crazy, Elle's old treachers, that sort of thing. Once again, nobody from her husband's family. He was being buried too, this was his funeral too, and still nobody.

I would've thought Mr. Oil Baron would've had a mom and dad that would pay for a huge gaudy memorial, but I hadn't even heard from them about trying to organize anything. The police station had said they'd been notified, so they should've tried to contact Carl and I about the services. Something about it seemed very off to me.

I worked a shift that night, and tried to keep up the forced chit chat with the girls, "Thank you for coming this afternoon", "Oh yes thanks for covering me yesterday", "That fruit cake was lovely Mary, Elle would've loved it." My mind was elsewhere.

Later that night, I pulled out the yellow pages. I found out from Carl that Anthony's parents were named Diane and Christian Merton. I flipped to the M's. Mekeel, Mekinnon, Melcher, I next page, Merriweather, Merk, Merl. There was nothing.

"Hello operator? Could you put me in touch with a Mr. and Mrs. Christian Merton? No? What do you mean there's no one listed under that name? What about a Merton Oil? Nothing? Oh, alright then. Sorry for bothering you."

The next morning I called the operator again- still nothing. I had to investigate this further. I went out that night, heading over to the heights. There was police tape on the door, but I knew that they weren't currently investigating in the apartment. I ducked under the tape, and went looking around for anything that could point to what was going on.

I hadn't told anyone that I was doing this, I didn't want them to get in trouble or come looking for me, or whatever. Looking around a "crime scene" without permission was a crime in and of itself, and I didn't want to be noticed. I went out in the night instead of in the morning, so that the darkness would help to hide me.

The apartment looked the same as the last time I had seen it, from a glance at least. The furniture looked like it hadn't been moved an inch, there wasn't a mark on the floor. There were however, small changes. Odd ones too.

All of the picture frames had the pictures replaced, there was no Elle or Anthony or their babies anywhere. Instead there were random people I had never seen before who looked nothing like my sister and her family. The small pillows and blankets adorned with an ornate M's had obviously been attacked by a seam ripper, there were the faintest outlines of an M, shadowing where they had been.

God, what did Elle get herself into? This was not looking good. I heard the front door open, cursed and ran to the fire escape. Uh oh.

I got out, closed the window behind me and darted onto the ladder. I saw two figures in the living room where I was moments ago, and moved as quietly as I could down the ladder. I ran to my apartment. I needed to tell someone who could help me what was going on.

I unlocked my door and was confronted with a large group of people. "Uh hello. Get out of my home." I stepped to the side of my door, indicating they should leave, and it was then that I noticed the guns.

"Florence Blaney? How about you have a seat." A large man in an army officer uniform came forward.

"Sir, may I ask what you're doing, uninvited, in my house?" I tried to make my voice sound stronger, and my body language exude confidence even though I was scared out of my wits.

""How about you have a seat and we tell you."

A man moved over and blocked the door behind me. "I guess I don't have a choice on this?"

"Erskine, she might give you a run for your money with her brains." I didn't like this man, I knew him not even two minutes and we was already condescending.

"What's going on?" I sat down at my table, and the man sat across from me.

"First of all, my condolences about your sister." He took his hat off and placed it on his heart, and the other soldiers did the same. I noticed there were two people not in uniform, an older man with glasses in a sweater, and a woman in a modified version of the officer's uniform, with a skirt.

"Appreciated."

"This may come as a surprise," he sounded very sarcastic, "But there's some funny business with her… passing."

"Oh really? The police said they were confused but-"

"Oh don't act all innocent and clueless now. I liked you better when you were pissed and had a fire under you. Besides, we know about your investigation."

I frowned and he went on, "This is Doctor Abraham Erskine," he gestured to the man with glasses, "He's a scientist with the Strategic Scientific Reserve. And this," he gestured to the woman next to him, "Is Agent Peggy Carter of the SSR. The SSR is a branch of the U.S. Army, of which I am director Colonel Chester Phillips. Agent Carter, take it away."

The woman came forward and took the man's place across from me, "Thank you Colonel. A few years ago, Hitler created a Nazi research division, known as Hydra. Dr. Erskine was working with them on creating a serum-" The Colonel coughed, and Agent Carter gave him a look. "That doesn't matter, but Dr. Erskine is with us now. We believe that your sister's husband was part of Hydra." My eyes bugged. Elle married a Nazi? She was a brat as a kid but I didn't think she was that evil.

"Our intel says that he was trying to leave, after the Head of Hydra, Johann Schmidt, asked him to pick up where Erskine had left off in his research. He wasn't comfortable with the research anymore. When he wanted out, we believe a team was sent after him to terminate him and his family, to ensure that he couldn't come to us."

I sat there for a minute processing. "They've completely erased them you know. No phone records, address, they even took everything personal from their apart-" I just realized what I admitted to, and slapped a hand across my mouth.

"We know what you were doing. We have access to all phone calls, and we have been following you. Those men that showed up at their apartment were us, we were attempting to get you. Nice job getting out of there, you weren't spotted by them. Fortunately, we met up here once we saw you leave in case you weren't apprehended." Colonel Phillips added.

"So who is he then? Why won't his name show up anywhere? Or his family, they haven't been to the funeral?"

"Family's dead. His name was a fake to protect his identity from us catching wind he was in New York."

I hesitated a moment. "What do you want from me then? Why're you telling me all this?"

"We had gotten a lead that your brother in law would be leaving Hydra and we started to investigate, when they were found, in the way that they were, we stepped in to investigate.

"Then we checked up on you, liked what we saw. 4.0 high school GPA, record of violence, working three jobs in Brooklyn, immigrant. Seemed like you could be of use. When we heard the phone calls yesterday, we decided to bring you in. So what do you say?"

"To what?" The Colonel was looking at me expectantly.

"He's- we're- offering you a job. You'll start with some training first, obviously, and we can get you all the logistical information tomorrow, but all the same…"

This was my way out. I hated the direction my life was going, I wanted a way to change things, and this was it. "Will I be able to tell anyone?"

"We'll make a cover story for you. That can all be determined if you accept."

"And if I don't?"

"We hadn't planned on that, kid."

"You're lucky then." I smiled, "When do I start?"

AHHH look at the big things happening this chapter! Also, I'm proud of myself for getting this done in time, and you lucky ducks get another chapter on time. I'm working my hardest onn getting next week's out on time but (cue the broken record) no promises. If you're looking for something to occupy your time waiting for me, tvdspnlover has written a great beginning to a story that I'm antsy waiting for, called The Machine and The Winter Soldier. I highly suggest you all check it out, it's super good. Thank you all for being so lovely, see you in a bit. (Also, good luck to everyone else finishing school right now!)