Another quick one-shot, based on the comment that Jay made in season 2 episode 5. Is it just me or was season 2 the best season of Chicago P.D? Hope you guys enjoy this short story.
"He (Voight) had the flu last year."
"No, he didn't. That was you."
Erin was annoyed.
This was supposed to be her day off. Finally. She had plans. She was supposed to still be in her bed right now, buried under her pillows and a warm comforter. But a phone call from Voight had changed that.
"Jay!" she tried calling her partner's name again but there was still no answer.
For a brief second, Erin had thought he was ignoring her. It wouldn't be the first time lately. Their friendship hadn't exactly gotten back to how it was before. Before Jay had been accused of Lonnie Rodiger's death and Erin had made the mistake of not being supportive enough. In her defense, it wasn't as though she thought Jay had actually killed the child molesting, murdering bastard. Not that she would've blamed him if he did. There were just some people who didn't deserve to breathe free air and Lonnie Rodiger was one of them.
"Jay! It's Erin. I know you're in there. Your car is still parked downstairs," she yelled through the door before she pressed her ear against it to see if she could hear anything. There were some shuffling sounds coming from the other side. "I could hear you inside so open up. Voight's pissed that you missed the raid this morning so you better have a good excuse."
Voight had called her livid at 6 in the morning about how Jay flaked off an early morning raid with the team and apparently her partner wasn't answering any calls from anyone. So Voight had tasked her with tracking Jay down and hauling his ass into the office before Jay got his badge snatched.
She pressed her ear harder against the door, becoming more alert when she heard low guttural groans. Ones that sounded like someone was in pain. Worry filled her when she realized just why Jay had missed his alarm in the morning and why he wasn't picking up anyone's call today. He was sick.
Erin pulled out her spare key to his apartment that he had given her. She hadn't wanted to use it earlier, thinking that it would be rude to just barge in his place unannounced. He had trusted her with his key and the last thing she wanted to do was to abuse that trust and make him even more mad at her.
"Jay, I'm coming in, okay?" she warned him before she used her spare key and opened the door. She stepped inside the dark room. Jay's place was always dark, made even darker with the ugly yellow walls and even uglier dim lighting. All the wood and leather furniture didn't help either. But how Jay's place looked was the least of Erin's worries right now.
RIght now, her worries were solely focused on the lump on the small leather couch. Jay.
She quickly made her way over to him, his long body barely fitting on the couch. She spotted the ruffled sheets and pillows fallen on his bedroom floor. It didn't take a detective to conclude that Jay had gotten up when she knocked but didn't have enough energy to make it across the room.
Her eyes shifted back onto her partner and she frowned. He looked terrible. He had his eyes closed, a furrow in between his eyebrows. There was a thick sheen of sweat across his forehead and he looked like he didn't even know that Erin was there. She placed her hand on his forehead and immediately pulled her hand back.
Worry crept up inside of her even more when she felt just how hot he was. He was burning, literally.
"Oh Jay," she mumbled, more to herself since it seemed like Jay was dead to the world. She chided herself for her poor choice of words. Her hand was on his forehead again and she brushed his hair back before it got slicked to his forehead. She sighed, her heart squeezing against her chest at seeing Jay like this.
In all the months that she had known him, she had never seen him be so….vulnerable. It was Jay. There was always supposed to be an easy grin on his lips and a glint of mischievousness in his eyes. He was supposed to keep her on her toes and was supposed to have a comeback ready for her at a drop of a hat. How was he supposed to do all that if he couldn't even walk from his bed to his front door without passing out on the couch?
He groaned again, the furrow between his eyebrows getting deeper. He was sick and uncomfortable and was in no position to take care of himself. So Erin jumped into action. First order of business was to get Jay off of this couch where his feet didn't even fit. She gently held his jaw and gave it a small shake, trying to wake him up.
"Jay, it's Erin. Come on, wake up." Her attempts were unsuccessful. Jay barely opened his eyes for a nanosecond before closing them again. "Come on, Jay. We gotta get you back in your bed. It'll be more comfortable there."
She shook him a little bit harder again and he grunted before peeking one eye open. "Erin?" There was a lot of confusion in his voice at finding her there. "Am I dreaming?" he mumbled, Erin barely managing to make out his words.
"No, you're not. However, you're sick," she replied as she tried to get him up. She failed. He was like a dead weight. Again, she tsked at her poor choice of words.
"Mmm….don't want to move," Jay muttered, pushing her away. "I'm fine."
She rolled her eyes. Leave it to Jay to be as sick as a dog and still insist that he was fine. He was stubborn as they came.
"No you're not," Erin pushed back. He wasn't going to be any help so Erin brought his arm over her shoulder and used all of her strengths to pull Jay up. He tried to protest but cooperated with her a little, making the daunting task of dragging his body back to bed a little bit easier. "Alright, come on," she grunted, exerting her strength to lead Jay back to his bed.
She was grateful for his small apartment because it didn't take too long to get to his bed. Erin swore to herself that she would never complain about how small Jay's place was again. She plopped him down on the bed, failing to be gentle, and Jay fell in a whoop. But he didn't even care, thankfully. Erin shifted his body into a more comfortable position before moving onto the next task.
His shirt was soaked with sweat and it needed to be changed. She went over to his drawer to get a new shirt and stopped in her tracks when she found something she wasn't expecting to find inside of it. It was a picture frame and when she turned it over, her eyes grew wide when she found that it was a picture of her and Jay. It was one of the first pictures they had of them. A candid moment taken of them taken during a lull in one of their cases.
Voight and Al were out gathering intel so it was just them with Antonio and Ruzek up in the bullpen. Erin had been focused on her paperworks when Jay had sat down right on her lap, asking for a massage. A partner's duty, he had tried to pass it off as. Erin couldn't even pretend to be annoyed then, not when Jay was looking at her like that. So she had relented, giving him a neck massage with one hand while Jay had his head back, looking blissful. She hadn't even realized that Ruzek had taken a picture of that moment until he had given both of them a copy of it much later. She had tacked the picture in her locker before questioning Jay where he was putting his copy. He had been awfully tightlipped about it then.
She had no idea that Jay actually kept it and had it framed.
She glanced over at sleeping Jay with a sad pull on her lips. There was obviously a reason why the picture was in one of his drawers instead of outside. Like Jay was putting it in a dark place where he wouldn't have to see the picture. See her.
She knew she had hurt him over what happened with the Rodiger but only now she was getting the full scope of just how much. Her heart clenched with pain over her mistake. Jay had always been a great partner to her. He was an even better friend. Sure, they flirted and thought about crossing that thin line many many times but he had never pushed. He respected her and supported her whenever she needed him. Especially after those really hard cases, he'd just come over and just sit and talk with her. And she had failed to be there for him when he needed her. When it was her turn to step up, she had failed and let him down.
Erin set her jaw, determined. This time, she would be there for Jay. She wouldn't let him down again.
She placed the picture back in its place and picked out a shirt for him. Changing a half conscious man into a new shirt wasn't easy but Erin managed and she laid Jay back down on the bed and covered him with his blanket. She traced her fingers over his face, just taking a quick moment to study him.
She hadn't realized just how important he was to her until now. Until she saw him in this state— sick and vulnerable— she never knew just how much she cared about him. How worried and anxious she was about him. With a sigh, she tried to wipe that furrow away with soft gentle strokes of her finger. It worked a bit as Jay's creases eased and he seemed to fall in a deeper sleep.
Erin managed to pull herself away from his bedside. She tossed his shirt in the hamper before getting a small towel to pour cold water. She went back to his side and placed the cold towel on his forehead, trying to keep him cool. He groaned when the cold towel made contact with his burning forehead and Erin gently shushed him, trying to calm him down.
"It's okay. It's fine," she repeated over and over again. "It'll make you feel good. It's okay, Jay."
Even in his sleep, he trusted her because he calmed at her reassurance and relaxed. Erin smiled, holding the towel in place and making soft and calming noises. She had no idea she had it in herself to be so caring and gentle. She guessed it was just a side Jay brought out of her.
For the next few hours, Erin repeated her action, changing the towel every so often when it got dried or too warm. Jay was still sleeping. The way his mouth parted and the heavy snoring that came out of him told Erin that he was in a deep sleep. It was good. He needed sleep and rest while his body fought to break the fever. She wasn't even grossed out by the small trail of drool. She just wiped it off with another towel and filed the fact away to be used at a later time. Hey, just because she cared about him and was worried about right now didn't mean she couldn't tease him about it at a later time.
The only time she left his side was to make him some soup and to get his medicine ready. Her few attempts to rouse him from his sleep and get some food into his stomach weren't successful so Erin had just let him be, patiently waiting for him to wake up.
It was sunset when Jay finally started to come out of his feverish sleep and slowly opened his eyes. Erin had lost count of how many times she had changed the towel but she'd happily do it countless times more if it meant Jay was getting better.
"Hey," she whispered softly when his eyes shifted around the room before landing on her. Erin could tell he was confused and surprised to see her here. "It's okay, just relax," she said, gently pushing him back down when Jay tried to sit up.
"What? Erin?"
"Yeah, it's me," she smiled reassuringly at him, helping him to get his bearings back slowly. But Jay was stubborn as always, trying to get up so Erin gave in. She helped him up until he was in a comfortable position, his back against the headboard.
"What are you doing here?" Jay asked, his eyes still looking blearly from the long sleep.
She cocked her eyebrows. "What do you think? My partner is sick and I'm here to take care of him."
He frowned. "I'm sick?"
Erin snorted. "Oh no. You only have a 101 degree fever and have been miserable all day but you're not sick at all." He seemed like he was in no position for Erin's sarcasm right now. "Yeah, Jay you're sick. A couple of degrees higher for the fever and I would've taken you straight to Chicago med."
"Ugh, no. No hospitals, no doctors," Jay groaned, covering his face.
"Yeah I figured you wouldn't be a fan of that so you'd just have to settle for Nurse Erin instead." If it was any other time, Erin would've expected a smartass comment from Jay about her Nurse Erin comment, something along the lines of seeing her in a nurse outfit or something something about spongebath that would've made her blush and roll her eyes simultaneously. But the poor guy was so out of it that he just grunted in reply.
God, she had such a weak spot for him because she could feel her heart squeeze at seeing him like this.
"Can you eat right now?" she asked. "I made some soup." He shook his head. "You should really eat something. Get some food in your stomach so you can take your medicine." Jay wasn't up for it still. "Please?" she added sweetly.
That seemed to have work and Jay finally agreed. Sure, Jay was stubborn and bullheaded but Erin knew him well enough to know just how to deal with that.
It wasn't pretty nor easy but they managed to get some food in Jay. She had fed him when he was too weak to hold up a bowl of soup and he took his medicine afterwards. Erin just hoped they would do their job and break his fever completely. Jay had quickly succumbed to sleep again so the pill seemed to be working, at least for now.
His fever finally broke in the morning, after a restless night of tossing and turning. Erin had to watch helplessly as Jay went through cycles of chills and fever sweats, unable to do anything but whisper comforting words, hoping that they'd somehow reach Jay in his sleep. But the sun was starting to rise and thankfully, his fever didn't. When Jay cracked his eyes opened and looked lucid for the first time since yesterday, relief flooded Erin.
"Hi," she gave him a tentative smile. "How are you feeling?"
Jay blinked a few times and groaned. "Like I've been through hell."
Erin chuckled. "No, not hell. Just a flu. Although it might be the same thing." At least it seemed like it to Erin. She wasn't even the one suffering from the sickness yet she felt like she had been through hell herself. It wasn't easy watching Jay be so sick, looking so miserable even in his sleep. She had thought about wanting to drag him to the E.R many times throughout the night and only now, her worries were starting to ease. It was a relief to see the familiar blue eyes of his. He looked more alert, a far cry from how he looked last night.
"You've been here? All night?" Jay asked. Erin just shrugged, as if to say where else would she be. "I thought I was just dreaming that you were here."
"You dream about me?" she teased.
"All the time." Erin was 100% sure that had Jay been in any other state, he wouldn't have let those words slip out. Like they were an admission of some sort. A teetering balance of keeping it professional and not— a constant battle they were fighting with themselves.
Jay didn't even seem to realize what he said so Erin pushed it out of her head, trying to ignore just how fast her heart started to beat with Jay's words. She cleared her throat to get rid of the heaviness.
"Um, do you want some breakfast?" she asked. "You're supposed to take another dose of the medicine." Jay rubbed his face before settling his eyes on her. He seemed to be just looking at her, not saying anything that Erin started to feel the heat crawl up her neck. "What?"
Jay shook his head like he was snapping himself out of his thoughts. "You've been here all this time, taking care of me." Erin met his eyes, seeing a look in them that sent the butterflies in her stomach in a frenzy. "Thank you."
She couldn't help but smile back at him. "What are partners for right?" Jay just nodded, holding her gaze— a spark of electricity and something more flashing between them. Erin finally broke the eye contact and she cleared her throat again. "So breakfast?"
There was still a softness in his eyes and Jay just gave her a small nod. "Okay."
After getting breakfast in both of their stomachs, Erin wasn't sure what to do next. She had already called Hank and told him that neither of them would be coming into work. Voight hadn't been pleased particularly with Erin staying to take care of Jay but Erin just shot him with the partner needing to take care of each other and hung up. But now that Jay had taken his medicine and seemed to be doing better, Erin wasn't sure if her presence was welcomed any longer.
She lingered awkwardly by the door as Jay got resettled in his bed again. He noticed her standing and he waved her over with a small smile. Erin made her way over to him and sat down on the edge of his bed.
"Do you need something?" she asked, her eyes glancing over his features to see how he was feeling. She knew that he would be sleepy very soon because of the medication but overall, Jay looked much better than he did yesterday.
He seemed to be doing the same to her, Erin wanting to blush under his worried gaze. It seemed to be a talent of his. He just had this way of looking at her that had her toes curling and her heart racing. Apparently, it worked when he was even sick too.
"What is it?" she asked again when he stayed silent for so long. "Do you need me to do something?"
He finally nodded. "I need you to get some rest too," he replied. "You're exhausted."
"Do I look that bad?" Erin teased.
"You're always beautiful," Jay replied without waiting a second and Erin heard nothing but honesty in his voice. "But you've also been up all day and night taking care of me and you're tired."
"I"m okay, Jay," she waved his concern off. "Just get some rest, okay?"
"I will if you will," Jay shot back and he patted to the empty space next to him. "Get some rest, Erin. You need to sleep."
Erin bit her lips, unsure about getting into bed with Jay. It felt too intimate and personal. It was like tempting fate. But Jay was insistent, pulling on her hand and giving him those puppy dog eyes that he knew she couldn't resist.
"Jay."
"We're just going to sleep, Erin. I promise I'll be a gentleman, as always," Jay replied. "Besides, it'll help me get more rest if I know that you're getting some too," he added, knowing just strings to tug just like she did with him.
Erin rolled her eyes and smiled before getting into bed with Jay. They were on their sides, knees curled up to their chests, facing each other. They didn't say anything at first, just opting to look at each other with matching smiles on their faces.
"Thank you," Jay finally broke the silence.
Erin's smile grew wider. "Anytime, partner."
Jay's face grew serious, like he was debating his words. "It's been a while since I've been taken care of like this. Since I've had someone in my corner."
Erin sucked in her breath at Jay's confession. "I'm sorry that I wasn't there before," Erin apologized. She could already see the forgiveness that Jay was willing to give her so openly on his face but she needed him to listen first. "You've always been there for me when I needed you but when it was my turn, I wasn't there for you. I'm sorry, Jay."
Jay just nodded and gave her a small smile. "You're already forgiven, Erin."
"I promise you that that's never going to happen again. You have my back and I have yours. Always."
"Always," Jay repeated. "That's why we have backup right?" he said, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear. His hand stayed on her face, his thumb caressing her skin.
Erin smiled and leaned into his touch, happy that she finally had a chance to apologize for everything that happened. She was grateful that she had a chance to step up for Jay this time so she could prove to him just how much she loved him as her partner.
"Stop thinking so much, Erin," Jay broke her thoughts, giving her a knowing look. "You and me...we're good. I promise." Erin felt her eyes glisten but she held them back, just giving him a nod. "Get some sleep."
Erin closed her eyes, feeling those butterflies again when Jay pulled her closer to lay a kiss on her forehead. She held his wrist, his hand still holding her face gently, as she drifted off into a much needed sleep.
Maybe it wasn't the best idea to get into a bed with a recovering sick person. But Erin didn't care. Besides, she knew 100% without a doubt that if she'd ever get sick, Jay would be there to take care of her too.
That was why they had backup, wasn't it?