Amanojaku/N: I own everything in this world, including any and all characters and locations from the Touhou Project game series, which totally do NOT belong to ZUN and Team Shanghai Alice.

The Himehashi pulled up her sleeves as she took out a Spell Card.

She formed the mental image of her spell, and poured her... whatever into her Spell Card in order to trigger it. Knowing what fueled her envy powers was a mystery, given that her jealousy was now completely nullified. It was better not to know, after all.

-Envy 「Green-Eyed Invisible Monster」-

A trail of rapidly-appearing bullets shot in my direction, and I clumsily threw my fists in her general direction while desperately dodging the swarm.

I herd the trail to avoid getting cornered by the bullets. I grazed the stationary bullets so many times I lost count.

She got worn down enough by my shots to continue to a non-spell. These, naturally, are not as dangerous as Spell Cards, but dropping my guard around them is a no.

Circles of bullets surround Parsee, as they slowly advance forwards, in bundles of 3. I take special care not to touch them, as they had a sharper end to them. Suddenly, a burst of bullets, this time, randomly spread, catches me by surprise as they shoot out at high speed, I advance forwards, and dodge the fast approaching bullets with good reflexes. I poured the little faith needed to overload my talismans, and threw them at her, wearing her down little by little, and figuring out the rhythm to the pattern. She eventually manages to charge her Spell Card, and start up hell.

-Grandpa Hanasaka 「Jealousy of the Kind and Lovely」-

Beautiful flower-shaped bullets rush through the battlefield, which fade slowly. After a few seconds, Parsee starts shooting regular bullet hail, in circle spreads, to make dodging through the flower bullets much harder. I activate my own spell card (which in this context, would be a "bomb") before I crash into one of the flower bullets, and watch as a blast of sake shoots through the bullet hail and erases it, while soaking the woman. I have never been closer to my only dream and ambition: weaponizing alcohol. Parsee sighs, and starts her non-spell.

Parsee starts to charge up while shooting bullets down on me. This time, the pattern is much simpler, as Parsee is charging both her next spell and the last one.

-Tongue-Cut Sparrow 「Large and Small Box」-

A copy of Parsee threw out menacing-looking spherical poison clouds, while the real one shot small, regular bullets. Pressure rises as the high-speed clouds rush right next to me. The small bullets, though, well, small, still pack more than just some punch, while the poison stank like it would stick to your clothes for months to come. They all pushed me down to the border of the arena, where I struggled to dodge the bullets, and held my breath. A long while later, I was somehow still alive, and Parsee's last Spell came about.

-Malice Sign 「Shrine Visit in the Dead of Night」-

The bullets she shot out didn't seem to do much, but when I turned around to see what it was doing, I was horrified at the flames running towards me, which shot from the collision point. I kept on shooting Parsee, to try and get her to stop the Spell Card, its flames driving me into panic, and I teared up due to the smoke. I used my second bomb, and shot the sake blast through the flames towards Parsee, the alcohol blowing up. The results were not exactly pretty, but no one got damaged -too- badly, right?

The burnt loser, Parsee, picked Shuten up like a cat would do their kitten, and bitterly kicked his ass across the entire bridge, letting him enter Gensokyo Proper. He found himself next to a cave, which probably was the entrance to the Underground.

In front of him was a forest, and, according to what Yuugi said, the entrance to the Underground was built under Youkai Mountain. The only forest "Mommy Bear" had told Shuten about was the Forest of Magic, and given the gruesome description she gave of it, he did not want to enter. So, if he decided to hunt deer up in the mountains, he would have much better chances of surviving than if he went mushroom searching in the Forest. He decides to go up the mountain.

-Youkai Mountain.-

After climbing up through the walls next to the cave, he found a pathway going up, which probably led to a village where he could purchase various goods using money, which he currently lacks.

He strayed from the path to find animals whose meat he could cook(, eat) and/or sell for some cash.

He climbed up a tree, and watched from above to pounce on whatever prey he could get his hands on, when a pair of bloomers covered his view, along with the snap of a camera.

"Blackmail, get~" said the fancily-dressed crow tengu, a mischievous grin resting on her lips.

"I did not know tengu were so shameless nowadays. Right, Aya-kun?"

"You're wrong, ojī-san, we're just getting more efficient methods to get information."

"Calling me ojī-san; that's bold for a person who is not much younger than me.'"

"I thought you'd have kicked the bucket already, you know, with that guy cutting off your head, burying it in the middle of nowhere..."

"Guess what happened."

"You tell me, ojī-san."

"I became a god."

"Sorry for your loss, I suppose. I know how much pride you put into those inexistent oni muscles you had. your strength still was no joke, though."

"Not as bad as not getting to attend to my own defeat party. Can you imagine the balls you would need to stop my dead body from dancing in the middle of the court?"

"I can't, and you have to open your eyes to the fact I'm a girl one day."

"You'll always be the little boy who had a high pitched voice in my heart and the rest of the crew's."

"And you'll always be the secret pedo who's banned from approaching children in a one ri (4km) radius."

"Now listen here, I didn't choose to be this tiny, alright?"

"Sure, when you start flying I'll believe that."

Shizumu took out his cellphone and took a picture of Aya.

"What did you do?"

"Oh, obā-san, get on with the times! You don't know what this is?" he threw back what Aya had chucked at him. "It's a mobile phone, a much better device than your pitiful little box of lies. Also, it can do a lot of more things~." A smug smile formed on the god's face.

The barrier weakened slightly while high in the sky, so a bit of signal reached the mobile phone, allowing Shuten to start up Boogle Holmes.

He showed a couple of websites to Aya before the signal cut off.

"Oh, no— Anyways, look at the picture i took. it doesn't even need developing, AND it's about a thousand times more higher quality than your ancient camera's photos."

Aya shot a single concentrated gust of air, going round and round the phone, asking: "Ah, but can your cellphone's camera delete bullets? Because mine can."

She took a single picture, and away it went.

"This is kappa tech, old man." she said, not unlike McFly's own quote.

"Didn't think those butt-soul eaters could pull this kinda stunt off." The oni gracefully stole her camera and inspected it.

"Hey- That's mine! Go get your own!" She tried to take the camera back, but an oni-god hybrid's grip is more threatening to her camera and her wrists than him dropping it by mistake, and she did try respecting her low amount of elders, who were far stronger than her.

With a craftsman's touch, he cautiously tried dismounting the camera to see the inner mechanisms. The suddenly sprouting darkness that grew from it and the increasingly louder murmurs and whispers when he loosened a screw begged to differ, and he sealed the camera away as if it was haunted by a myriad evil spirits. Talismans, bandages, and a miniature shimenawa rope covered it. The fact he was now a god stood stronger than ever.

Now, Aya looked like a child who had her toy broken by a bully. It was quite fitting for the situation.

"I'll pay for a new camera within the next century, I promise. But don't get those weirdos' stuff. Okay? Maybe there's someone who has a better camera. I saw a shop near the Forest of Magic earlier that looked quite nice. Maybe they've got something."

"I know you've been broke ever since I knew you. You've still got debts you have to pay. With lots of interest. Maybe offering yourself to me doesn't seem like such a bad idea now, does it~?"

After Shizumu took off to the skies, drifting slowly into the clouds, a giant message read out:

"Virginity is cool. Stay pure."

A giant sun-glassed Shuten floating in the air provoked a stir in people's minds.

Much faith was gained from this.

And Aya couldn't do any take backs for that promise.