CHAPTER 4
Far too soon for anyone's liking, it came time for Jamie to leave again, now taking with him the men of the Ridge. This included Fergus and Roger. Skylar was as sad to say goodbye to her brother and brother-in-law as their wives were to see off their husbands.
"Please, be safe, mon frere," she said to Fergus while hugging him tight.
"Nothing is going to happen to me. I swear it," he promised, squeezing her a bit tighter.
She stayed in the embrace for a few extra seconds, then pulled back to look at him. "If you come back with anymore limbs missing, there will be hell to pay. Got it?"
He smiled. "Understood."
"Ye've another bairn comin' soon, Fergus Fraser. So hurry home," Marsali told him. She stood beside Skylar, holding Ollie with one arm so Skylar could have her time with Fergus, and Germain's hand in her other.
Fergus cupped her cheek and pressed his forehead to hers.
"I will return to you the moment Milord gives me leave to. You have nothing to fear about that." He pulled his head back just an inch or so and put his hand on her stomach. "Neither of you." They smiled sweetly at one another and Fergus kissed her. When they separated, he knelt down to Germain. "Listen carefully to me, mon fils. You are going to be the man of the house while I'm gone. You have to take good care of your mother and make sure no harm comes to her. Help her with chores around the house and listen to what she says. Aye?"
"Oui, Papa," Germain answered. Fergus put a hand on his head and pulled him into a hug. "Je t'aime, mon fils."
"Je t'aime."
He kissed the boy's head and just stared at him, as if taking the time to memorize every detail of his son's face.
As Skylar watched each exchange, she tried to brush away all visions of Ian saying the same things to her and Ollie before going off. But despite her efforts, it was all she could think about. Thankfully, right when her chest was beginning to tighten, Jamie and Claire came over. Skylar right away wrapped her arms around Jamie. He let out a low chuckle and stroked her hair.
"Dinna fash, a leannan. There will be no battle fer a while yet, should one come te pass. We're only collectin' men now."
She spoke into his chest so it was very muffled, but he understood it to be along the lines of, "I don't care. I'll still miss you."
He kissed her head and she looked up at him. "Please be safe," she said very clearly.
"I'll make sure he returns home in one piece," Claire told her. "Speaking of," she directed this to Skylar and Marsali, "you two are going to be running the surgery while I'm gone. You know where everything is, what the instruments and herbs do. I have full faith that there will be no casualties on your watch."
"I'm not making any promises I can't for sure keep," Skylar (half) joked. Claire laughed.
"Fergus," Jamie spoke, "walk wi' me, lad. I want te discuss our plans fer Brownsville."
"Aye, of course, Milord." He gave one more long kiss to Marsali and hug to Germain then went off with Jamie.
"I can take him back now," Skylar said to Marsali, holding her arms out so she could pass Ollie back.
"Mama, Mama," Ollie said, wrapping his arms around Skylar's neck.
She rubbed his back and smiled. "God, that's music to my ears every time you say that, my love." A little over a week past his birthday, after months of repetition and practice, Ollie had finally said mama. And after hearing him say dada at his birthday, it made Skylar's heart so light and she even cried out of happiness.
"He'll be speaking in full sentences by the time I'm back," Claire said, stroking his head. "And now, where's Mr. Trouble?" She looked around Marsali to Germain who was playfully hiding behind his mother. "You behave yourself while we're away."
"Yeah, as the man of the house you gotta set a good example for Ollie and Jemmy," Skylar added. Germain giggled and pressed against Marsali's side. Marsali smiled and, still holding Germain's hand, walked along with Skylar and Claire.
Claire went on, "You'll need to keep up your studies, Marsali. And, Skylar, it might not hurt to brush up on your skills as well. One, or both, of you may have to sew up a wound at some point." Skylar shuddered at the thought. Claire noticed. "You think you could get through it without getting sick and fainting?"
"Again, no promises I can't for sure keep."
"Remember, Marsali, what did I tell you for practicing?"
"Pig flesh is a good substitute fer human tissue," she answered.
"Exactly. I've left you two some drawing of penicillium mold. So, look in the microscope like I showed you."
"We will."
"I'm gonna go say bye to Roger," Skylar stated. First, she turned to Claire with a small smile. Claire returned it and hugged her. "Come back soon."
"I hope I will." She kissed Skylar's cheek and pulled back from her, still holding onto her arms.
"Please make sure Dad and everyone else don't get themselves killed by being stupid."
Claire laughed. "To quote you, no promises I can't for sure keep." She cupped Skylar's face, then touched Ollie's head.
Skylar took a breath then went to Roger.
"Captain Mackenzie, permission to approach?" she called to him. He turned from his horse to her.
"Granted," he chuckled.
"You ready for this?"
"Absolutely not."
"Stop. You're gonna do fine. Dad's gonna be right there with you the whole time. He's not going to let you do anything he doesn't think you're ready for."
"I'm just prayin' that the numbers we form will make the Regulators surrender before there's any risk of that."
"With Murtagh leading them, you know that's not going to happen. He's determined to kill Tryon himself."
"Any chance a captain can get out of havin' te fight in the actual battle and can just cheer the troops on from the sidelines."
Skylar let out a, "Ha! I would love to see you try to convince Dad of that. But if that doesn't work," she put her hand on his arm, "please stay safe. Hide behind trees and rocks or whatever is closest, and just stay alive no matter what."
"I will. I may not be able te shoot but I'm verra good at bein' invisible." She snickered then hugged him.
When they pulled apart, he patted Ollie's head. "Be good fer yer Ma, aye? And make sure ye keep Jemmy in line. Your Auntie Bree's a bit of a push over when it comes te him."
"I heard that," Bree's voice came up next to them.
"I don't know what yer talkin' about. I said not a word," Roger teased.
"I'm gonna leave before you two get all mushy," Skylar said. She squeezed Roger's arm again, then started back for the house.
Before she got too far, she heard someone call out, "Allaway!" She looked in the direction of the voice and saw the man who likely had shouted talking with Benjamin. She changed course and went towards him.
The other man was just leaving when she reached him.
"Ollie refused to let you leave without saying goodbye," she said to him. Benjamin turned around and smiled wide at seeing her.
"Oh, is that so?" He brought his gaze to the little boy and bent down to be more on Ollie's level. "Yer such a sweet little lad, aye?" He gently ruffled Ollie's hair, causing Ollie to giggle. "Though I believe it's more the horses he likes than me. So as long as he can still be around them, he willna even notice I'm gone."
Over the last two weeks, while Jamie was preparing the men to leave, Benjamin would find time each day to have Ollie be around the horses. He had him help hold the brushes as Benjamin groomed them, and he let Ollie give them lots of sugar cubes and carrots. Ollie loved every second of it, and would smile and laugh so full of joy the whole time. Skylar loved watching him have so much fun and was so happy that he was happy. Yet it didn't erase the longing she had to see Ollie be that happy with his father. Knowing that was a reality that would never play out only added to her everyday pain and gave her more to hide away.
"Nonsense. You like Benjamin more than the horses, right, sweetheart?"
Ollie looked between the two adults focusing on him, and then, to his mother, he just replied with, "Brrrrrr. Brrrrrr." They laughed.
"There's the answer, then," Benjamin concluded.
"Well then, I guess you're gonna have to stay safe out there so you can come back soon and see if you can ever beat out the horses in Ollie's eyes."
"An impossible feat, but I shall return te accept the challenge."
"And I suppose I would like to see you back in one piece. You do owe me that night off like you promised, remember?"
"I havena forgotten, Mistress Murray."
"In all seriousness, please be careful. You're one of the few friends I have around here outside of the Fraser family, and I'd like to keep as many as I can."
"I assure ye, ye willna be missin' one."
A third person them joined them, announcing themselves with, "Benjamin?" It was a young teenage girl who lived on the Ridge with her family. Her name was Sarah Shaw. She was 17 years old with long curly blonde hair and brown eyes. She was the same height as Skylar and just as slim. She was the kind of pretty and the sort of bubbly and flirty personality that, had she been in the 21st Century, Skylar was certain she would be a beauty guru with millions of followers on all platforms.
Sarah glanced at Skylar and was almost surprised to see her there. "I apologize, Mistress Murray, fer interruptin' yer conversation."
"Not at all. No need to apologize."
Sarah curtsied, then turned back to Benjamin. To a blind man, it was easy to see that Benjamin was more than a bit miffed at his time with Skylar being cut off. But as bad as he was at hiding it, neither woman noticed.
"Miss Shaw," he greeted her, bowing his head.
Sarah blushed and gave a quick curtsy, biting back an idiotic grin.
"I, uh, I-I wanted te wish ye luck on yer endeavors. I'll be prayin' fer ye, fer God te keep watch over ye and keep ye out of harm's way. An-and the other men, all of them, of course too."
"That's verra kind of ye, Miss Shaw."
"I will leave the two of you to finish your goodbyes," Skylar said to them. She looked down at Ollie who was looking every which way at all the activity around him. "Can you say bye bye to Benjamin? Say bye bye?" She got Ollie to look back at him and he stared at the man for a moment.
He then said, "Benah. Beh. Benah."
Skylar smiled and stated, "He'll have your name down by the time you get back, I can guarantee it."
A genuine smile took over Benjamin's face again talking to her. "I look forward to it."
She touched his arm. "Be careful, got it?" His cheeks got red at her touch and he just nodded in reply. She gave Sarah a kind smile, Sarah giving a thin one in return, then walked away to find Marsali and Bree.
Once everyone was on their horses or wagons, it was time for them to go. The three sisters stood together and watched as the men rode off. Once they were just small dots in the distance, Marsali sighed. "Well, I suppose I should start findin' things te do te keep me mind off worryin'. I'm goin' te go drop this one off wi' the Baxters," meaning Germain and another family with a little boy his age, "and then go inte the surgery te bury meself in me studies."
"I might go paint for a while, help me stay calm," Bree added. "How about you, Sky?"
"I don't know. I have some laundry to do. Get ahead on that before it builds. You wanna come help me wash your stinky clothes?" she asked Ollie, brushing his curls way from his face.
"No," he replied.
"No? Do you even know what you're saying no to, or is it just a word you know?"
Ollie stared at his mom for a beat, then simply said, "Dog." The three women laughed out loud.
"Okay, sweetheart. Let's go do some yucky chores." She planned to meet up later with Bree and Marsali, and then they all went off on their own ways.
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"You're still in here?" Skylar said in surprise when she walked into the surgery. Marsali looked up from the table. "It's been hours."
"Aye, I ken. But I need te get these stitches right. God forbid someone should get seriously hurt while Claire's away, but if they are and we need te deal wi' it, I need to know exactly how so I dinna hurt them worse." She had slabs of the aforementioned pig flesh on one side of her and the notes from Claire on stiches on her other side. There were several that were already covered with stitches, some more successful than others, and she was working on another one now.
"You've been getting so much better. I'm definitely impressed, and I know Claire is too," Skylar told her as she sat at the table too.
"Is she really? Because this is all so fascinatin' and I just want te learn more. I want her te teach me all she knows."
Skylar smiled at her enthusiasm. "I'm so glad you enjoy all of this. Smaller wounds and anything dealing with bones and joints I have no issue with. But I am in no way looking forward to standing next to an open body for hours at a time. So it's good she'll have you by her side for all of that."
Marsali let out a small laugh and looked back down at her work. "What are ye up te right now?"
"Nothing much. Ollie just went down for a nap so I thought I'd come in here and see what we need from Wilmington."
"Yer all goin' temorrow, aye?"
"Yep. Are you coming with us?"
"I canna. This one," she put the needle down and sat back in her chair, rubbing both hands over her stomach that was already prominently showing, "is tirin' me out already, along wi' Germain never takin' a break from jumpin' off the walls. And wi' the nausea this bad still..."
"That's totally understandable. Maybe once baby number two is born, Fergus can take the kids and we can go on a day trip to Wilmington, just to relax."
Marsali's face lit up at the idea. "I will be remindin' ye of that every single day until it happens."
"So will I. Ollie will be walking then and even more talkative so a few hours break will definitely be appreciated. Benjamin offered to watch Ollie sometimes, so maybe he can cash it in then."
"I've seen ye and Ollie have been down te the stables a lot lately te see him."
"Yeah, Benjamin's taken quite a liking to Ollie and Ollie to him. He loves getting to be around the horses and Benjamin never has a problem with us spending hour after hour, day after day, interrupting his work just so Ollie can have some fun."
"Because he likes Ollie so much."
"Yeah. He's such a good man and I'm so grateful for his friendship. It's a shock to me that he isn't married yet."
"Mm hmm, tis."
Skylar furrowed her eyebrows together. She got the sense there was something Marsali wasn't letting on to. "Are you okay, Marsi? Is there something you're wanting to say?"
"Oh, uh...no, no. I apologize if I'm actin' no like meself. The sickness, it's, um, overwhelmin' and I'm trying to hold back from vomitin' all over the floor."
"Oh God, I'm sorry. It really is the worst. Can I get you anything to help? Some ginger tea or a cold cloth for your head?"
"No, thank you. I think I might lay down fer a bit before goin' back te me studies."
"That's a good idea. My old bed is still in the kitchen if you want to use it, and I'll watch over Germain. Make sure he doesn't come wake you up."
"Thank ye, I'm grateful." Marsali started to push herself up to standing, but Skylar quickly got to her feet and took her hands to help her the rest of the way.
"Why don't you and Germain just stay here? With Fergus gone, I don't want you to be alone. And this house is going to be empty without Dad and Claire."
"Ye really wouldna mind?"
"Of course not. And Ollie will love having Germain so close."
"That would be verra nice. I thank ye, Sky."
"No thanks needed. You're my sister. I'm so excited you're going to be here."
Brianna also ended up staying at the Big House that night. The three stayed up well into the night, talking, laughing and enjoying their time together. Marsali and Skylar tried to convince Bree to move into the Big House while everyone was gone as well, but she very graciously turned down the offer, saying she was looking forward to having the cabin to herself.
"Roger takes up so much space in the bed, it'll be so nice to spread out and use the whole blanket just for me."
The next morning, Skylar and Bree headed out to Wilmington along with Mrs. Bug and some of the other women of the Ridge. While the two went around the town to complete their errands, Mrs. Bug was more than happy to stay with their sons in the wagon.
They finished their errands with ample time to spare, just having needed to pick up the mail, some herbs, fabric, and food, so they wandered the streets to find some personal things they might want to buy.
"Oh, look at these, Sky," Bree commented as they passed one of the stands. The woman was selling small bottles of perfume and other makeup products. She picked up one of the perfumes and smelled it. "That smells beautiful." She held it to Skylar for her to smell.
"Wow, that is really nice."
"Tis orange blossoms," the seller informed them.
"How much are they?" Bree asked.
"2 shillings each."
"I'll take one. It'd be a nice present for Lizzie. Just something to thank her for helping so much with Jemmy."
"I want one too. But for me. I'd like to smell pretty for once instead of a farm."
They each paid for their perfume and put it in their bags, then continued on their way.
"So, how are you and Marsali feeling about being the acting doctors for all of the Ridge?"
"I think we're okay. The women tend to be way more cautious with their chores and tasks than their husbands and the other men, so I'm hoping we don't have to deal with anything too major."
"But the more manageable injuries or whatnot?"
"I can treat those in my sleep. Working with Claire for so long had been preparing me for this. I've had to be an acting doctor in her absence before and that was long before I knew anything about medicines. But everyone stayed alive, so I can only go up from there."
"When did you have to be a doctor in her place?"
"Years ago, way before you showed up. It was when we were on the, um, Artemis. Remember when I told you about that?"
"The Artemis? Oh! You were all going to Jamaica to find-." She stopped short without ending that sentence. "Yes, I-I remember." They walked on without speaking for a few minutes. Brianna was wracking her brain for anything she could bring up to distract Skylar from the previous subject; not knowing that Skylar was doing the exact same thing.
When Ian had been kidnapped at taken to Jamaica, Skylar was certain that that would have been the scariest and most miserable time of her life. She had been wrong. Not knowing where he was and if he was alive or safe during those months at sea was agonizing. She barely slept and ate and was crying to the point of throwing up constantly. But he hadn't chosen to go. He hadn't willingly gotten on that boat and left her. She was able to get him back, and he wanted to come back. Now, again not knowing if he was alive or safe was that much worse as it had been his choice. He chose to be hundreds of miles from her. He chose to never see her again. Whenever she would remember that him leaving was a decision he had made, the sadness disappeared for a moment and boiling anger replaced it.
How dare he? she would think. How could that goddamn selfish prick leave me so easily like that? Did I never matter to him? I wish he was here only so that I could kill him for what he did to me! I hate him! I hate him!
But as quick as that fury came, it would vanish. She would remember why he did what he did and the sadness would return tenfold. And she couldn't not sleep or eat or cry all the time like she could before. She had a life she needed to live and a son she needed to live for.
When they returned back to the Ridge, they were met with several settlers, excited to see what had been brought back.
"How was town, Mistress?" Lizzie greeted them.
"It was good, and busy," Bree answered.
"I always forget what it's like to be around that many people. I kind of prefer the openness of the Ridge though. Much more peaceful and quiet," Skylar added while taking Ollie out of his bassinet.
"Did ye find what ye were lookin' fer?"
"Yes, we got paper and books, fabrics, linen, cotton," Bree listed. "And something a little special for you." She took out the bottle of perfume and handed it to Lizzie.
"Fer me?"
Bree nodded. "You'll smell like orange blossom."
"Thank ye, Mistress."
Bree smiled at her then walked to meet Mrs. Bug who had Jemmy's basinett. She knelt down and picked him up out of it.
"I cannot believe they fell asleep on the way there and haven't woken up yet."
"I know. I hope this doesn't mean they're not gonna sleep tonight," Skylar said.
"Yeah, he fell asleep way easier than I thought he was going to last night without Roger. I don't want that to have been a fluke." Bree lifted up Jemmy's blanket still lying in the bassinet and was taken back by something shiny. She picked it up.
"What is that?" Skylar asked.
"A coin."
"Where did that come from?"
Bree stood up. "Mrs. Bug, where did the boys get this?"
Mrs. Bug explained, "While ye two were collectin' the post, a man ruffled Jemmy's hair and gave him a coin."
"Did he say anything?"
"He said, 'What a handsome lad,' and did he take after his mother or father."
"And then just gave him a coin? Did he say anything else?"
"It's free money, Bree. Don't question it," Skylar argued.
"He was Irish, ye see," Mrs. Bug continued. "So, of course, once they get talkin' about this and that, it can take all day."
"What did he look like?" Bree suddenly asked. Skylar saw her body language change when Mrs. Bug said he was Irish. Her face dropped and she could feel the anxiety coming off of her.
"A gentleman he was, fair and strong."
"Did he have a scar, here?" She pointed to the side of her face. Skylar then understood.
"I'm sorry, I dinna recall. I hope ye don't think I would ever let the bairn come in harm's way."
"No, no. I know. I just...I just know all about the Irish gift of the gab, that's all. Don't want Jemmy's mind filled with superstitious nonsense about luck. Let's forget about it."
"Of course." Mrs. Bug gave a quick curtsy and nod to both Bree and Skylar, then walked away.
"You okay, Bree?" Skylar asked her.
"Yeah, yeah. Absolutely."
Skylar cut right to the chase. "It's impossible that the man was Stephen Bonnet. He's dead. There's no way in hell he could have ever escaped that explosion."
Bree tightened her hold on Jemmy. "I-I know. Yeah, he's, um...h-he's dead, I know. It's just...you know..."
"I do. Trauma plays awful awful tricks on your mind sometimes. But we just have to keep ourselves in reality and not listen to those scary voices trying to convince us otherwise." She just gave a half smile and nodded.
"Um, I think Jemmy and I might stay here in the Big House while everyone's gone actually. If the offer is still available."
"Of course it is. This will be so fun! You me and Marsali, and the boys. It'll be like a sleepover." Bree gave a small chuckle in reply and the two went inside the house.
That night, Bree and Skylar were still in the kitchen after dinner while Marsali went right back into the surgery, rereading for the twentieth time that day Claire's notes. The door connecting the rooms was open so she could see Germain with Ollie and Jemmy playing on the floor. After the table had been cleared, Bree asked Skylar to come outside with her to get some firewood for the kitchen's fireplace.
"Marsi, can you take your eyes off the papers for one second and watch the boys please?" Skylar called to her. She gave some indistinct noise that was taken as a "yes," and they went outside.
They gathered the firewood from the collection at the bottom of the breezeway steps. After filling her basket, Skylar looked up.
"I can never get used to the amazing sky here," she said. "The stars are amazing."
"I know. With all of the lights and building back in 1969, it's impossible to get a view like this."
"And it's even worse in the 2000s. I hardly ever got to see the moon." She stared at it, twiddling her necklace with her fingers. It was only a half moon so she couldn't see the full face in it. But no matter how much was visible, she was able to feel the comfort of her mom and that was enough for her. "Is it weird that I'm glad Ollie's gonna grow up without any of the modern technology that I did?"
"No. From what you've told me, the phones and computers that you have then are very addictive and distracting. And without them, he-" They were cut off by a scream in the far distance. They both froze.
"What the hell was that?" Skylar asked, forcing her eyes to see if there was anything in the darkness.
"I don't know." Bree unblinkingly looked around, terrified of what, or who, might be out there. "Let's go inside." They speed walked back into the kitchen and closed the door. Their breath of relief was short lived.
"Where's Jemmy?" Bree cried. He was not sitting on the floor with Germain and Ollie like he had been when they left.
"Omigod," Skylar muttered, feeling the panic fill her. They rushed to the two boys and Skylar scooped Ollie up.
Brianna knelt down to Germain and asked him, "Where's Jemmy? Where'd he go?"
"Ball," was all Germain answered, focusing on his own toy.
Skylar looked all over the room while Bree tried again, "Germain, look at me. Did you see a man?"
"Ball," he repeated.
Brianna stood up and ran back outside, screaming over and over, "Jemmy! Jemmy!"
Skylar went into the surgery and she and Marsali scoured that room as well. When they couldn't find anything, Marsali went back to Germain. "Germain, where's Jemmy?"
"Ball," he said for the third time. But this time, he pointed to the door that led into the rest of the house that was cracked open. Marsali and Skylar bolted to that door and when they opened it, they saw Jemmy sitting outside it with his small toy ball.
"Jesus fucking Christ," Skylar breathed. "Bree! He's here!"
Brianna sprinted to where they were and she looked like she could cry seeing he was safe.
"Germain was telling us where he was when he kept saying ball."
"He was intent on findin' his precious trinket, that's all," Marsali said to Bree to try to calm her.
Bree picked him up and hugged him tight.
When they were all back inside and breathing easy again, Marsali said, "Once we get the boys te sleep, let's meet back in the kitchen. I ken an honest cure fer wakin' nightmares." Bree and Skylar nodded, and they each went to their own rooms to do just that, with Marsali in the kitchen bed and Bree staying in Jamie and Claire's room.
It was an hour before they were all sitting at the kitchen table. Marsali brought out three glasses and a bottle of whiskey. She poured each a generous amount and they all took a long sip. They sat in the quiet for a minute, then Marsali broke it.
"So, ye gonna tell me what kind of devil ye conjured?"
Skylar had a strong feeling she knew what Bree had imagined, but she wasn't going to say it out loud and freak her out more if it hadn't been Bonnet.
Bree let a sharp exhale and covered her face with her hands. "I did, didn't I?" She let her hands fall back to the table. "I conjured everything up somehow."
"But that's all it was, a conjuring. Whatever you imagined, it wasn't real," Skylar added.
"But we canna help ye, if ye dinna tell us what ye were thinkin'."
Bree hesitated for a long time. "It's nothing," she said finally. "I mean, I-I hope it's nothing." They waited for her to go on, but she didn't. Skylar and Marsali made eye contact, and they knew they likely weren't going to get any more than that.
"Then we'll sit here and drink in sacred silence," Marsali stated. They each took another sip and listened to the fire behind them crackling.
Bree surprised them by speaking up again. "It's my own fault. I shouldn't have let Jemmy out of my sight."
"It's not your fault. I left Ollie in there too. Why would we ever think one of them would up and vanish inside the house?" Skylar countered.
"And nothing happened when ye did," Marsali reminded her. Bree just looked down, not believing the words they were saying. Marsali and Skylar looked at each other again and Marsali took a deep breath. "I've never told either of ye this, but…I killed my father."
Brianna's head snapped back up and Skylar's eyes went wide.
"What? Marsali…what, I'm sorry?" Skylar stuttreered out as a response.
"he beat us," she went on, "hand, belt, pot, whatever was close whenever he felt the urge, which was often. He once broke me lip. Couldna speak fer a month."
Omigod, Skylar thought, her heart breaking for her sister in law. She had never known any of this and she was wondering if Fergus did.
"I prayed every night that he would stop. I wished him dead. And then one day, he was arrested as a Jacobite. I prayed fer God every night te take him. I let me mind be consumed by thoughts of all the terrible things that could happen te him. He died in prison. I killed him."
Skylar understood the point of Marsali's story and she looked to Bree to see if she did too.
"You didn't kill him," Bree said to Marsali.
"And you didn't summon anything evil to come and take Jem away," Skylar directed to Bree.
Marsali finished with, "Because ye see, thinkin', no matter how hard or long, doesna make somethin' come true. Or else, I'd be the queen of some castle filled wi' jewels and fine wines." The three of them laughed softly and the mood started to lighten. They smiled and touched their glasses together and finished their drinks. Marsali refilled them and let out a huge sigh. "Te change the subject te somethin' a bit more fun, I have a bit'a gossip I heard while ye lot were gone teday."
Bree's demeanor changed instantly. "You're just telling us this now?"
"Spill the tea, please!" Skylar sat back in her chair and picked up her glass.
Marsali and Bree look at her in utter confusion.
"Spill tea? Why would I do that?" Marsali questioned.
Skylar looked back and forth between them and ended on Bree. From Skylar's expression, she could understand that whatever she said was something from the future. "Oh, sorry. It's a phrase from up north. It just means what's the gossip. It's silly. Um, anyways, Marsali? Continue?" She sipped her drink, and Bree had to bite her lip to hold in a laugh.
"Well," Marsali started, "I heard Millie Rowland say te Anna Fowler that she overheard Sarah Shaw, while speakin' te Abigail Greens, say that she plans te make an advance on Benjamin Allaway."
"Wow that was so many names. But from what I got, Sarah Shaw is going to try to court Benjamin?"
"Aye, that she is."
"Won't it hurt her reputation for her to make the move on him?" Bree wondered.
"Apparently that's what Abigail was sayin' te her. But Sarah says she's never loved anyone like Benjamin and only wants him, so damn her reputation."
"Sarah, omigod! I'm impressed. I never thought she would have that in her," Skylar commented.
Brianna looked at Marsali with pity. "This is only going to end badly."
Marsali nodded. "I ken it. The poor girl will have her heart broken and she'll be humiliated."
"Why do you say that?" Skylar asked.
"Benjamin is a good man, so I'm sure he'll do it gently, but he willna accept her."
"Why would he turn her down? She's young and beautiful, the two most important things in a wife to men."
Marsali was surprised by Skylar's response. "It's likely because he has his eye set on another lass on the Ridge."
"Who?
The blonde and ginger glanced to each other in almost shock, then went back to their sister. Skylar was now the one confused.
"Skylar, you're not serious," Bree said.
"What?"
Marsali let out a cackle. "Benjamin Allaway is in love with ye."
Skylar looked to make sure the bedroom door was closed so Germain wouldn't hear. "I'm glad the boys are asleep because, what the fuck are you talking about?"
"You can't be that blind, Sky," Bree argued.
"Benjamin is not in love with me! He's just a good friend!"
Marsali was still giggling at Skylar's reaction. "Oh aye, and he wants te be even better friends wi' ye."
Bree added, "He follows you around like a love sick puppy, and is always at your beck and call, just waiting to ask how high when you say jump."
"Why do ye think he's spendin' every free moment he has wi' ye and Ollie at the stables? Or why he made that rattle fer Ollie's birthday?"
"B-be-because, he's a good friend, like I said. And he's just really nice. He likes Ollie. Everyone at the Ridge likes Ollie. The horses and the rattle, it doesn't mean anything," Skylar debated with them.
"Skylar, think about it."
Skylar thought back to all the time she had spent around Benjamin. He was always smiling at her or complimenting her. He always went out of his way to help her with any chores or tasks. He never showed any sort of interest in any of the girls that flocked to him every day, he only seemed to want to be around her when he could.
No, no, no. He can't. He can't be in lo- He's never…I never…Fuck. Oh no.
Marsali could see her mind racing to find any other excuse for his behavior. "If ye want more damning proof, Fergus has told me he's heard Benjamin speakin' te whatever men he's workin' wi' that day of yer unmatched beauty and his feelin's fer ye."
Skylar licked her lips. "Well, why hasn't Fergus told me that himself? And if it's such common knowledge, why has no ever said anything to me about it?"
"I think we all just thought, since, omigod, it's so obvious to anyone with half a brain, that you knew and never wanted to do anything about it because it…hurt," Bree said.
"And if ye didna want te talk about it, we didna want te bring it up te ye fer fear it might upset ye te speak of another man so that infatuated wi ye."
Skylar dragged her hands over her face and held them behind her neck. "I appreciate the good intentions you have and concern, truly, I do. But I am not some fragile little flower about to snap in half at the slightest breeze. You don't all have to tip toe on eggshells around me all the damn time. I'm fine, I promise." She took a deep breath in and let it out in a heavy huff. "But…if what you're saying about Benjamin really is true, I need to talk to him as soon as he's back and tell him in the nicest and most delicate way possible that nothing will ever come of us. That he needs to focus his affections to Sarah or one of the other dozens of girls vying for him that want him, or just a relationship in general."
"Or..." Marsali said.
Skylar waited for her to finish the sentence. "Or?"
"Or, ye could lay wi' him."
Skylar's eyebrows shot up and her mouth dropped to the table. She stared at the woman across from her in utter shock at what she just suggested. "Excuse me? I'm sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly. Are you, a good Christian woman, seriously advising me to go to bed with a man who is not my husband and who I have no intention of marrying?"
"I mean, why not?"
"Marsali!"
"It isna like yer givin' up yer maidenhead te some man before yer wed. No one will think ill of ye. And if some do, they would never dare te insult the daughter of Jamie Fraser."
"I cannot believe what I am hearing right now."
Bree then added her own two cents. "I agree with Marsali, Sky. It might be a good idea."
"Do you two not understand how ridiculous you both sound? I don't want to be married or courting or anything like that."
"It wouldn't need to be something super serious. Just some harmless fun once or twice. You are a human being, my dear sister. I assume you still have sexual needs that need to be satisfied, and I can guarantee Benjamin would be more than willing to help."
Skylar's cheeks turned red and hot. "My needs, as you put it, are a nonissue at the moment, thank you."
Marsali scoffed. "I find that hard te believe since ye've barely looked at another man since Ian. Ye cannae live as a nun fer the rest of yer life. Yer just never goin' te lay wi' a man ever again? Ye are a beautiful young woman, Sky. A life of abstience isna fair te ye nor can it be healthy. If yer really as fine as ye claim te be, why not try someone new, just fer a while at least? Ian even said te Jamie that he wanted ye te find someone else and love-"
Skylar couldn't hear anymore. "Okay, I'm exhausted. It's been a day and I just want to go to sleep. Good night, I will see you both in the morning." She got up from the table and nearly ran out of the room.
She kept the speed until she got into her room and closed the door. She leaned against it and closed her eyes.
What the fuck just happened? she thought, trying to get her head to stop spinning. The news Bree and Marsali had broken to her about Benjamin knocked the wind out of her. And then on top of that, them trying to convince her to sleep with him, it was all too much.
I'm going to go to sleep, and when I wake up, everything from downstairs will not be real. It can't be. Benjamin is not in love with me. He isn't.
Marsali's words kept ringing in her ears as she tried to block out her thoughts and sleep.
Thinkin', no matter how hard or long, doesna make somethin' come true.
That didn't stop her from trying; trying to will herself to wake up from this nightmare and find Ian sleeping beside her like he always had been.