Four

Epov.

As I wrap the blanket around my daughter, I appreciate her small face. She was her mother's double. The bow in her lips, the luscious brown hair. Her eyes are my favourite shade of brown, her smile is sunshine. Everything inherited from the beauty that is her mother.

"I love you so much," I whisper as I press a soft kiss to her head, "I'm sorry I let someone upset you. I'll be better."

All I wanted in this life was to be the man my children aspire to be like. Not just career wise but everything that counts. Morals, values.

I wanted more time. Every time I blinked they grew and it was terrifying. It feels like just yesterday I was in the back of my car, begging Bella to give me a chance. She didn't think I could do it.

Ever since I've been trying to prove her wrong. Lately I've just given up hope she'll realise her mistake. But seeing her tonight had reignited it. Not all was lost yet.

She did this for me. I wasn't stupid. I knew her reasons and it only made me love her more. I wanted my kids to have a good life, I needed the job, I needed to make sure they would have options like college. That meant working away from home sometimes. Bella thought she didn't fit into my world, but she didn't need to.

The older I got, the further into my career I got, I saw how her fitting into the puzzle mattered less and less. I could throw the puzzle out if it meant having her. She fit into my heart which was the main thing.

I fought as hard as I could to get her to change her mind, but I couldn't. What can you do? If someone doesn't want to spend their life with you, you can't make them. I'd take this as a consolation prize.

But I was lonely. I wanted someone to share these moments with. Someone I could show my kids what a healthy relationship looked like. I wanted to show them love and marriage.

If I could convince her it would be with their mother. Perhaps giving them siblings, a dog, family moments they'll cherish for life.

There's no denying how much I still yearned for her. Everything about her ignited me. Her shirt riding up just slightly, exposing her thigh was enough to have my mind stuck for hours. Even beside another woman. It was pathetic. I am pathetic.

I leave my daughter sleeping and return to Bella.

"I found wine," she smiles at me waving the bottle playfully, "I figured after my day tea wouldn't suffice."

"Sorry again," I felt awful.

I felt like a failure. My son wanted to get away from me. He wanted her. I couldn't be the comfort he needed.

"Don't be," she shakes her head, "he gets like this. He pretends to be a hard ass but he's really a mummy's boy."

"He is," I take my wine from her and sit at the kitchen counter, watching her.

How easy this could be. Trips to the lake as a family like this. Tucking the kids into bed before getting to have Bella all to myself over a glass of wine. Before taking her to bed and reminding her the worth she held to my heart.

"I love this," she smiles suddenly, "I wish I could afford to take them to do stuff like this."

"You know you're always welcome to tag along," I say.

"I'm sure you don't want your ex tagging along with your new girlfriends," she shakes her head, "beside we have fun at home."

I wouldn't need girlfriends if you just let me in.

"You do your best for them," I say, "besides I never want you to worry about supporting them financially. That's my job."

"It doesn't have to be," she shakes her head, "I was actually looking at a shop space. It's stupid and I'd probably be able to afford it when both of them are in high school."

"If it's your dream Bella, it's not stupid," I insist.

I know she'd recently become interested in floristry. It started out as a hobby but when she found a job, she'd never shut up about it. I felt pride in my heart whenever she brought it up.

"I've had heaps of brides lately ask for me specifically at the store," she explains, "my boss thinks it's great but she doesn't pay the best. I think if I did it out on my own I could earn more. I could make it my own and have creative control."

"You wouldn't let me invest?" I ask.

"Oh no. Never. It's just an idea," she shakes her head while sipping her wine.

Bella had always struggled with accepting help. She never let anyone in. Even me.

"Make me a bunch," I suggest, "my mum's birthday is coming up."

I had an idea.

"Sure," she nods, "I was actually going to get the kids' photos done for her."

"She'd love that too," I smile.

Despite our break up, Bella had never once restricted access to my parents. They got the kids when they wanted them. Bella had spent years making others happy, sacrificing her own.

I wanted that to change. I wanted to be that change more than anything.

She huffs and steps back from the counter, lifting her jumper up and over her head. My eyes instinctively darted to the exposed skin at her stomach.

This goddess had not only birthed my children, leaving me in absolute awe of how strong she is, but her body didn't show a single sign of it.

She was as sexy as all hell.

At 19 she was the definition of beauty. With age she'd only become more so. The fullness of her breasts, her rounded ass, her waist that would be perfect in my grip. I admired her from top to toe.

She was the standard all other women failed to reach.

I yearned to see what had changed since the last time I saw her so vulnerable beneath me. I yearned to hear the moans and see the soft 'O' shape she made with her mouth when I made her…

"Edward," her fingers snap in front of my face, "you listening!"

"Honestly no I wasn't," I smirk, "what's wrong?"

"Where do I sleep?" She asks.

"Upstairs," I say, "I'll have the couch."

"The couch?" She raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah," I nod, "it's actually super comfy."

"You've slept on it before?" She giggles and the sound sends a jolt down my spine.

"If you don't fall asleep on the couch you're not a dad," I take up my wine moving toward the lounge room.

She follows me, giggling as I flop down onto the couch. I sigh dramatically, kicking my feet up on the coffee table.

"It's freezing down here. You can't sleep down here," she shakes her head.

"It's fine," I insisted, patting the seat beside me for her to sit.

She doesn't hesitate like I would expect her to. She sits beside me placing her wine glass on the table beside mine.

"I could sleep beside one of the kids," she says, "you could have the bed then?"

"You're sleeping in the bed," I point my finger at her face, leaning back into the couch cushions.

"That's what you think," she grabs my finger.

"It's what I know," I shake my head, grabbing her hand, pulling it against my chest, holding it to my body.

For a moment she stares at my face, I try not to move. I don't want to scare her away… again.

I want to kiss her.

Fuck I want to kiss her.

Throwing caution to the wind I lean in, moving my free hand to cup her cheek, my thumb lightly stroking the skin under her eye gently. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips.

Oh she wants this too.

I see a crack in her walls. So I swoop.

I lean down and press my lips to hers, sick of holding back, sick of worrying about the fall out. She doesn't clam up, instead she presses into me returning the kiss.

Years of want and desire coming to a head. I'd wanted this for so long and it was here.

And then my son took it all away.

"Daddy," he yells, peering into the room from the staircase, "there's a bug."

Bella jerks back, hand flying to her lips, refusing to look at me or over her shoulder at our child.

"Coming, son," I stand.

Despite her embarrassment and my annoyance at the interruption, I was absolutely sure of something.

There was a crack in the wall she has been building for the past four years. She'd finally let up that she wanted me too.

I was sick of her selflessness. For once I wanted to turn the tables. I was going to fucking fight for once, harder than before.

Career or not, Bella and these kids were my reason to live. I wanted to make sure they were never forced to question that commitment. She'd given me the greatest gift of all, now I wanted to return the favour.

I wanted her happy and I wanted it to be by my side. Whatever story her self conscious mind had spun I wanted to untangle.

No one would ever measure up. It was her or nothing.

It was time I showed her I could do it all.

She was more than enough for me. I didn't need a show wife to parade around corporate functions. I needed a hug when I got home from the woman who blessed me so richly.

I was still deadly in love with her.

I'd let her call the shots for long enough. I let her walk away because she had insisted it was what she wanted. Now I was going to make it hard. I was going to fight back until she admitted she wanted more for herself than making my life easy.

I already had a plan in place.

It would all start after I squashed this damn bug.

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