Whoop, this is hella late, ah I'm sorry. This might happen again, I've been pretty busy with school, and well, trying not to fail high school in this lockdown school hell. Uh anyways, hope y'all enjoy this chapter!

TW for the chapter: panic attack and discussion of injuries

DISCLAIMER: DC owns Batman and all of his strange children.

CH 4: The Consequences

When Dick woke up with a clear head, Bruce was sitting next to his bed. He was dressed in the Batman suit, with his cowl down, and he was staring down at his son. Dick shifted his body, trying to sit up. He recognized that he was in the Batcave medbay, he just didn't really know why. The memory of waking up before was foggy, he only remembered Tim and Damian being there. "Bruce? What happened?" he mumbled.

Bruce finally noticed his struggles and helped him sit up. Then Dick became aware of the bandage over his eye, and everything came back. The Joker had shot him, in the face, in...the face. Dick reached up to take off the bandage and Bruce grabbed his hand, but instead of forcing it down, he just held it. "Dick." He said grimly.

"What?" Dick asked, slightly frantic. He felt fear creep into his heart. He was shot in the face, how bad was it? He met Bruce's blue eyes, trying to ask the question without words. He was afraid to know. "Bruce, how- he shot…is it-?" He couldn't finish the question, his voice cracked several times, then gave out.

Bruce looked down, his jaw clenched. He looked tired, dirty, and afraid. Dick wasn't used to seeing that last one so openly displayed across Batman's face. Bruce looked up, looking right into Dick's eyes. "Joker shot you, but you got- you managed to avoid the worst of it." Bruce's hand was still clasping Dick's, both of them were shaking slightly. "But Dick, it went into your right eye. L-Leslie wasn't able to save it." Bruce stumbled over the last sentence, he felt guilt stab through him as Dick clenched his hand over Bruce's.

Dick's knuckles went white, and he held Bruce's hand so tightly it hurt. For a second, he just didn't process what Bruce had said. Then all that ran through his head was No, no, no, no, no, no. Dick stared off towards the wall, not saying anything, not even twitching, just trembling and holding Batman's hand.

"Dick, we're here for you, we'll get you through this." Bruce waited a second, to see if Dick would respond. "Wayne tech has some good prosthetics that might be a viable option-"

"No." Dick snarled. "Just… it's not-'' His chest was heaving, he couldn't think. He couldn't be blind in one eye, how could he be Nightwing? How could he… help people? He didn't want to think about it, but he was. He was awake and he knew. His breathing sped up, until he was hyperventilating. Bruce grabbed him by the shoulders and crushed him in a hug, comforting him as he cried. They sat there for who knows how long, Dick panicking and Bruce clutching to him as tightly as he could. Throughout the house, birds sat up and listened to their brother.

THISISATRANSITIONTHISISATRANSITIONTHISISATRANSITIONTHISISATRANSITION

Dick finally fell asleep and Bruce set him down gently. He stood up slowly and walked out of his eldest child's room. He walked down silently to the Batcave, and put his cowl on with shaking hands. Then Batman left again, in his roaring Batmobile, off to find one very unlucky clown.

Jason heard him leave, sitting on his bed, and he snapped his book shut. Anger flickered through his stomach. Of course Bruce would fucking do this. Of course he would avoid pain and responsibility to go punch the clown. Jason gritted his teeth, would Batman finally kill the Joker tonight? For his dear Golden Boy? Would Bruce break his goddamned code for Dick? Jason growled, rage was growing in him and he tried to shove the hypothetical away. The anger in his head whispered that of course Bruce would kill for Dick, and definitely not for Jason. His anger smiled, it told him that he was right to be angry, Batman was a stoic, hardass piece of shit. A hypocrite. A righteous asshole. Of course Bruce treated Dick differently, Bruce was flawed. Jason's anger revved in him. Yell it! It roared. Scream it! Find him and tell him right to his face what a stupid fuckin person he is. Tell him exactly what you think, the truth. Rip the truth open and expose your flawed logic and hypotheticals. He'll disagree anyways, no matter how sound your argument could be. So why not just shriek at the wall? Jason took a deep breath, he was spiralling, down down down into the pit. Into the dark smooth green waves. He could almost see the tint of emerald.

Jason shook his head and glared around his room. He froze when he saw Tim standing awkwardly in his doorway. "What's up Replacement?" he snapped, forcing his face to fall flat.

"Nothing." Tim said smoothly. He looked down at the floor, then back up at Jason. "Bruce left again."

"Yeah, I know." Jason didn't even bother to hide the anger in his voice, but was surprised when some sadness crept in. He turned away from Tim. "You think he'll find him?" He asked tentatively.

Tim shifted on his feet. "I don't think so, Jokers gone underground. He knows that Batman's angry at him." Tim stepped forward a bit when Jason didn't respond. "Hey, uh, I'm going to sit by Dick, you wanna come?"

Jason turned to him and was unsettled to see fear on his face. Tim was the best at hiding emotions, he always kept them locked up tight inside him, matching Batman in emotional constipation. Jason nodded, thinking back to the night Dick got shot. Wasn't he supposed to act like the big brother now? While Dick wasn't able to. He was supposed to take care of them. And Tim was scared, Damian was angry. So Jason stood up and followed his brother to Dick's room.

Dick looked like he was sleeping, lying on his back, his chest was moving up and down, slowly. Jason found himself focusing on that motion as he sat down on Dick's right side. Tim pulled up a chair to sit on his left. When Tim sat down, Dick stirred.

"Is he gone?" Dick whispered. His voice was scratchy and tired. Jason met Tim's eyes across the bed. Dick sounded so broken. Tim nodded and Jason looked down at his older brother.

"Yeah Dick." Jason said grimly. Dick let out a small sigh, opening his left eye and staring at the ceiling. He was trying not to break down again, they could tell. Dick swallowed and opened his mouth again.

"Y-you guys need to make sure he doesn't cross the line." Dick hissed, trying to sit up, his voice straining. "Jay, Tim, please. I don't want to be the reason he-."

He didn't finish, but Jason knew what he was going to say. Jason bit his tongue, feeling anger course through him, of course Mr. Perfect would have such a perfect moral compass. "You're not gonna be the reason he kills that bastard, Batman doesn't have the fucking guts." Jason snapped. "If anyone is killing the clown.." And he didn't finish. Should he be the one to kill Joker? He didn't know. He had wanted to, a while ago, it was his mission. Jason lived so that fucker would one day die. Killing the guy who killed him felt like just the right thing to do. It was perfect justice. At least, he'd thought that. Then Batman yelled at him a lot, and he made some new friends and learned some new things. And shit, he wasn't not gonna kill the clown because of Bruce. He wasn't going to kill the clown because he didn't want to, right? Did he want to? Jason didn't know. All he knew was that he still heard laughter. He could feel metal hitting his flesh. He hated that white face and that green hair. Jason knew that he would never forgive the Joker. He would never forget him.

Jason looked up and saw Tim looking at him. Jason glared at Tim and looked back at Dick. Jason's older brother had lay back down, and was blinking up at the ceiling again. "Dick?" Tim asked slowly.

"Yeah?" Dick replied wearily.

"Are… are you okay?" They were all silent then. Sitting and stewing in the absurdity and blandness of the question. It was too simple, and every short answer would be a lie.

Dick lied. "I guess."

Tim nodded and sat back, face scrunched up. He was thinking.

"Are you okay Jay?" Dick asked finally, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, I am." Jason leaned his elbows on his knees. "Okay guys, enough moping, I'm bored, what do you wanna do?" He forced some happiness into his voice. His brothers turned to him, confusion on their faces.

"What?" Dick asked, he was convinced that he was still being affected by the drugs, what was happening to Jason?

"What do you wanna do? Watch some TV, or play a game or something?" Jason clapped his hands together. "Why are you guys staring like that?" He growled.

"Well uh, you-." Tim coughed, deciding not to finish. "No reason." He turned to Dick. "What do you want to do?" He vaguely wondered if Dick remembered watching cartoons when he had woken up before.

Dick's face was tense and he was staring at his brothers. Jason was playing… him. Jason was being him, and it made Dick sad. His brother couldn't be him, no one could. And Dick wasn't being ignorant. He knew Jason was a great big brother, but see, Dick was the shield. Dick wasn't just someone who lifted spirits and cracked jokes and gave out hugs. He managed emotions, fights, feelings. Dick made sure the mad calmed down, the sad felt happy again, and the scared felt safe. He stood between Jason and Bruce, between Tim and Damian, but most importantly, he stood between his family and the world. That last duty went both ways sometimes, he kept his family from hurting the world, and Dick fought any part of the world that went after his family.

It was tough work, it was tense work. It started a long time ago for Dick, when he first saw Bruce break as Batman. Dick took care of everyone, and with that, he didn't trust them to take care of him. He wanted to, he was desperate for Jason to help him shoulder that burden, he wanted to spill everything to Tim, and he wanted to show emotion openly for Damian's sake. But Dick couldn't, he never could. Because whenever the shield breaks, either his family or the world suffers.

Dick decided to go along with what Jason was trying to do. He put on a smile so fake that it slipped off immediately. "Can we go to the living room? We should have a movie night, someone grab Damian." Dick swallowed his worry and panic. "If you guys are deciding to be brotherly all of a sudden, I'm going to use it!" He declared, glad that his voice didn't shake.

Tim looked from Dick to Jason, back and forth, quickly. He cleared his throat, and muttered something about fetching the Demon Brat. But the nickname was full of affection, maybe just for Dick's sake. Then, Tim left.

Jason shifted in his chair and looked at Dick, his expression was contemplative and serious. "Goldie." He hissed, surprising even himself with the warmth that leaked into his tone. "You're going to be okay." Jason bit his tongue after that. What the hell was going on with him? Holy shit, had some kind of magician changed him into Dick or something? Jason checked his hand real quick, nope, that wasn't the case, the scars were still there. Before Jason could slide back into his memories, Dick grabbed the hand.

"Jason." Dick growled. "Don't be me." Dick almost sounded like he was reprimanding him. Jason frowned at his brother, confused, and a little scared by his blunt statement. Dick met his eyes and wouldn't let him look away. "Don't fucking be me, please." Then he looked away and let go.

"I'm not fucking trying to be." Jason scowled, despite what he wanted, that had fucking hurt. It hurt like grief, it hurt like drowning. He wasn't trying to be Dick exactly, just maybe more of a big brother. Maybe more like he should be. "Not everyone wants to be you, Golden Boy." He ground out. It was the boldest lie he'd ever told. Jason was straight out lying, and everyone knew it. Even the fucking walls knew it. Jason remembered wandering into this room as a kid, as a Robin. He wanted to look at his predecessor's old room. He wanted to see what a Robin should be.

Dick sighed. "I'm not trying to insult you Jason, I just…" Dick stopped, he was dangerously close to saying everything he wanted to say. But for the sake of the family, he shouldn't. He fucking couldn't. So instead, he became the shield, he turned back to Jason with a tired smile on his face. "I'm not dead yet, right?"

If it was years ago, Jason would have flinched at the word 'dead'. But now, he faced it with a smile. "Yeah, you ain't." He drawled, grinning. "And not for a long time." Jason didn't wait to let that sink in, and stood up quickly. "Now c'mon, the brats will fight if we take too long." The tension faded from the room as both brothers agreed to lighten the mood. He helped Dick stand, and put one arm around his shoulder. Dick smiled at him, and they walked together into the TV room.

AN: Okie dokes, and that's the chapter. Sorry again for this being late but it's probably gonna be the schedule now.

I hope y'all like my whole analysis of Dick, and Jason. I'm having fun writing their dynamic.

A note on what is and isn't canon in this universe, you probably noticed that I'm keeping the BFTC arc, and the whole Dick being Batman for a short while, thingy. Also, even though DC loves shoving him back into a villain role, the Jason in this universe is on the precipice of letting go of revenge. See, it's easier to speed up his arc of becoming part of the family again. Hell, if I had to write Jason's arc from when he first got out of the pit until he let go of his anger, it'd take fuckin years. Anyways, it's also a fun time to play around with, and play I shall!

The next chapter will probably be shorter, and full of Jason. Then we're going to have some fun during the chapter after that, a special guest will be arriving! Heheheh, I'm not gonna tell ya who it is yet, I guess you'll have to stay tuned! We're almost halfway done with what I have planned for this story! But the last couple chapters will be pretty long.

Please review if ya liked it, I'd really appreciate it! And have a lovely day, my avocados.