Zuko stood silent as Jinn slumped forward. He breathed for only a few more seconds before succumbing to his self inflicted disembowelment. The young Fire Lord gazed down at the gory mess before him and felt his stomach turn. "Agni," he said in a quivering voice, "What...what did he do?"
"He committed suicide, any fool can see that," Piandao said with a heavy voice, "He really did respect the Old Ways." Piandao approached Jinn's corpse and knelt beside it, pulling the blade from his stomach and running a cloth over the metal, cleaning it of blood, before placing it neatly in front of him.
"What does this have to do with the Old Ways?" Zuko asked anyone who could answer. It was Pai Min who did.
"You've heard of people who cut off their topknots to humble themselves when honour is lost, correct?" Zuko nodded, "In this modern era the removal of one's topknot is akin to social suicide, you would have no voice, no rank and no status but those who follow the Old Ways believe that only one's life can atone for the loss of their honour. Back when the Fire Islands were ruled by Warlords, if a subordinate failed their Lord then he or she had the right to demand the offender take their own life."
"I see," Zuko looked down at Jinn one last time. At first, he had thought it a last-ditch attempt to hurt him but now he understood that it was done out of pride. Pride that he had taken from him. Zuko suddenly felt sick when he realised he had driven someone he considered an old friend to such drastic action. Pai Min came up behind him and gently clasped his shoulder.
"Fire Lord Zuko, I must insist you leave this to me," Piandao then urged Zuko, "I know of the Old Ways and will see that he is taken care of in a manner he would have wanted." Zuko nodded slowly so Piandao asked them all to leave.
"Fire Lord," Pai Min said as she led Zuko out with a hand still on his shoulder, "Can I escort you somewhere?"
"N-no," Zuko managed to say and pushed Pai Min's hand away with a sad smile, "I'll go to my Uncle for now, alone if that's alright." Pai Min and Lee bowed as he left. He barely remembered the walk to Iroh's home but the second he opened the door he undid his pin and topknot, letting his hair down and put the headpiece on a side table. Hardly a fitting location for a royal artefact but right now he didn't care. Then he heard the thudding of small feet come from the tea room. Kira came around the corner and bowed when she saw him. She was smiling at him now but even she could now feel the gloom he brought with him through the door.
"Is everything alright Mr Fire Lord Sir?" her eyes were full of concern and she stood with her hands fiddling with the front of a dress she was wearing. It was a long red one with gold trimmings on the sleeves and hem, Zuko recognised it as one Katara had worn when she was Kira's age. It was nice to see her wearing something not caked in blood or grime and she was finally wearing something on her feet, even if they were just an old pair of sandals.
"I'm fine," Zuko lied, forcing a smile for her, "You look nice, that dress suits you."
"You think so?" Kira grabbed the bottom of it and spun around, "Can't believe General Iroh let me wear something so fancy but he insisted!" He wondered if she even knew it was a hand-me-down. Suddenly she ran up to him excitedly, "Look, did you know Lady Katara used to live here?"
"I did," Zuko laughed when she grabbed his hand and pulled him into the tea room. When he entered, he laughed loudly. Iroh was sitting at his Pai Sho table just casually playing against himself but what Zuko found funny was the way his hair had been tied into two neat buns. "Uncle, what happened to your hair?"
Iroh chuckled cheerfully, "I figured it was time for a new look so Kira happily gave me a hand," Iroh gently palmed one of the buns in his hair with his lips puckered, causing Kira to laugh hysterically. "Do you like Nephew?"
"You look ridiculous," Zuko said as he palmed his forehead.
"Really, I feel rather dashing?"
Kira was back and in her hands was the mug Uncle had once given Katara which she then thrust into Zuko's. He inspected it with a pleasant feeling of nostalgia. It had some wear and tear but all in all, it was in good condition. "General Iroh let me use it!" Kira's excitement seemed to be at boiling point. "Lady Katara used to drink out of this, isn't that amazing!" Just last night she had been afraid to take his hand but now she was dragging him through the house to show him a cup he had seen a million times. He supposed that was like any normal kid which was refreshing.
"She is a normal kid," Zuko reminded himself, "We're the ones that called her abnormal."
He handed the cup back to Kira and she held it like it was a precious treasure. He would have to ask Iroh why she was so obsessed with Katara. Thoughts of those he considered family only reminded him that not fifteen minutes ago Jinn had taken his own life. His glum expression returned and Iroh picked up on it.
"Is something wrong Zuko?" he asked him. Kira was now sitting and watching him play his game, holding onto the mug very tightly.
"It's Jinn," he told his Uncle, "He...he passed away." He didn't want to tell Iroh the full truth, not in front of Kira when it was because of her that Jinn had been - No, this wasn't her fault. Jinn had been the one who beat her and Zuko had chosen to punish him. Kira was a victim, Jinn was the culprit and Zuko, well he felt like the executioner. Either way, the full story wasn't for children to hear.
"How?" Iroh asked distraughtly, "He was in such good health?" Zuko looked at Kira, she had no idea who they were talking about it seemed.
"Suicide," he said simply, "He took his own life." Iroh frowned sadly drooped his head. "I'll tell you the rest later." Kira was about to speak up but Zuko shook his head at her. The little girl withdrew slightly, seeming to shrink under his unintentionally hard gaze. She returned to looking at Katara's mug. Zuko told himself to be more careful with how he looked and acted around Kira, she was smart enough to read people due in no small part to her struggles as a Burakumin just trying to avoid trouble.
"Such a tragedy," Iroh said sadly, "But we all have our demons, I only wish he had told us he wasn't coping," Zuko wanted to correct him but not yet. Not in front of Kira.
"Who was he?" Kira suddenly asked and Zuko's heart dropped, "He sounds important."
Zuko knew that lying to her was no good. It would be so easy to make her not ask, to scare her into not being curious, but in doing so he just knew he would destroy her that little bit more. It was as if the spirits themselves didn't want him to hide the truth. "Jinn was the man who beat you yesterday," Zuko said, now moving to sit at the Pai Sho table with the others.
"Oh," Kira looked back down at the mug with a sad gaze, "Why though?"
"He did it because I got him in trouble for what he did in front of some important people and when I tried to make him leave he-" Zuko's mind returned to that split second where Jinn had stabbed himself in the stomach right before cursing him as he disembowelled himself. "He chose death over dishonour."
"The Old Ways," Iroh said quietly, "I had no idea he followed them."
"Do many still follow them?" Zuko asked Iroh who nodded.
"Many of the noble houses still do but the act of Ritual Suicide is usually done privately," Iroh explained, "You may have heard of many dishonourable nobles who perished from illness suddenly and without warning?" Zuko nodded, he had always been told it was the judgement of the spirits. "There's a very good chance most took their own lives."
"Oh," Zuko didn't like how much sense that made, "Did anyone in the Royal Family ever...you know...?"
"Not to my knowledge, our line has proven to be far too proud." That made Zuko feel a little better somehow. Just knowing that the Old Ways didn't hold sway in his family was a good thing. Now he had a more pressing question.
"Okay, but what are the Old Ways?" Zuko then asked, "Aside from what I saw today?"
"Honour above all, fealty before freedom, fire before family and death before dishonour!" Iroh recited smoothly, "Those who follow the Old Ways respect first, the Royal Family and then their own."
"My Pa used to say that 'Honour above all' thingy!" Kira then spoke up. Iroh let out a small grunt of displeasure.
"Then that explains why they disowned you, my dear," Iroh told her sadly, "I do not doubt that those who follow the Old Ways would sacrifice their children to remain in the Royal Family's good graces," Iroh looked over at Kira who was listening attentively. "The Burakumin are a symptom of the Old Ways and more often than not one is created because of them."
"So you're saying Kira was Shamed because of her parents and not her Headmaster?" Zuko added.
"More than likely both parties agreed to it."
"But I was told it was because I didn't do well enough in school?" Kira leaned over the table, pressing her chest flat against it as she idly spun the mug she still held. She looked confused but also very sad.
"That is also probably true," Iroh stroked his beard as he spoke now, "But I no longer believe it was just the Headmaster who called for your Shaming but more likely your parents as well when they learned of your rebellious nature."
This revelation seemed to hit Kira like a rampaging Komodo Rhino. "So...they...didn't love me anymore?" Zuko felt that familiar pain in his stomach. He knew what it was like to not be loved by a parent. Memories of his father were painful ones more often than not. Kira stood up and bowed shakily before leaving the room. Zuko could see her whole body quivering as she did. Katara's mug was left behind.
He was going to follow her but Iroh held him down. "Let her grieve alone for now," he told Zuko, "You of all people know that this is a painful truth to accept."
Zuko wanted to comfort Kira but instead of that he instead felt burning anger. "So it's because of the Old Ways that Kira's been living the way she has?" Iroh nodded quietly. "To think that such archaic still exist, and what's worse is they have the power to ruin lives and breed such hatred."
"But I know from experience how passionate people from the Fire Nation cab be about their beliefs and I won't tell people how to think like my forefathers had," Zuko stared at Katara's mug now and he remembered all that happened because Iroh had seen fit to gift Katara, a servant at the time, such a fine mug. It had helped bring to light Azula's lies and in doing so allowed her to break free from Ozai's grasp. Such a small gift had made so many lives better.
The smallest gestures of kindness can bring about the biggest change. Zuko knew what he had to do. "I want to help the Burakumin," he said to Iroh, "And I think the first logical step is to help the children."
"I understand but you must remember that there are those, like Jinn, who would be disgusted at the idea their Fire Lord trying to improve the lives of those they have regarded as less than human all their lives," Iroh told Zuko, "You know full well that Fire Nation politics can be incredibly dangerous and there are those among the nobility who would sooner see you burn than succeed."
"To make matters worse, they would not be acting out of lust for power or wealth but out of hatred and disdain. This would make them far more dangerous."
"I'm not afraid of the nobles," Zuko said adamantly.
"I don't doubt it," Iroh said with a chuckle, "But you can only prepare for the worst and hope for the best, you need a plan, Nephew. How will you keep these children safe?"
"We build a school, one with dormitories where Burakumin children are welcome to live and learn in safety," he offered, "But we'll also teach and house those adults who never learned basic skills like reading or writing."
"And how will you protect this school from those who disagree with its existence?"
That was the big question. Idealism wouldn't stop an arsonist from burning the place to the ground and even if he ordered men to guard it, he couldn't trust normal soldiers to protect a Shamed child. He needed soldiers who would see just how important the school was. He needed Burakumin soldiers.
"Uncle, are there are ex-soldiers among the Untouchables?"
Iroh smiled at Zuko. "Very clever," he said proudly, "I'm sure there is, I take it you want my help finding some?"
Zuko nodded, smiling back at Iroh. "Find me some soldiers among the Burakumin to interview," he clasped his Uncle's shoulder, "This might work Uncle, this just might work!"
Kira had run into Zuko's bedroom and crawled under the blanket. As Zuko entered the room it didn't take him long to find where the sobbing was coming from. "Kira?" he said softly, "Are you alright?" What a stupid question, she wasn't alright. She had just learned that her family hadn't simply gone along with the Shaming to save face but they had been implicit in it even happening.
The covers suddenly raised and Kira slid back out to stand in front of Zuko. Her eyes were red from crying and tears stained the top of her dress. "What's wrong with me? Am I just a bad person? I didn't mean to be...I was just...I was just being me and I'm sorry that it wasn't good enough!" she cried at him and Zuko felt a painful twang in his stomach. "Why does nobody love me? Even my parents got rid of me."
Zuko moved forward but she took a step away from him like she had last night when she was scared. Right now she was frightened for her future and incredibly vulnerable. As a child, he might have known what to say in this situation and the childish innocence of his words would have at least put a smile on her face.
But he wasn't a child and he barely knew Kira. But he still had to try. "From...from what I've seen, you're not a bad person," he told her, choosing his words carefully, "You're headstrong, confident, curious, cheerful and just a little annoying but that doesn't mean you're a bad person. I wouldn't have you any other way, to be honest." Kira stood with her head down as she began sobbing again. He had cried like this too when his mother left, he had felt so abandoned that he still wasn't really over it. But he still had his Uncle, even when his father hated him Zuko had always seen Iroh as more of a father than Ozai ever was.
But Kira had been completely alone for such a long time. Shunned by society and disowned by her own family. She needed someone to know they cared and even though he hardly knew her, Zuko did care. He cared so much it surprised him, even scared him a little. "Listen, Kira, I know how you feel," Zuko told her, "My father was a monster who hated me and did everything in his power to punish me just for being alive and then my mother abandoned me when I was your age."
Kira looked up at him as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I know how much it hurts to think nobody cares," he went on, "I know how it feels to be hurt by those who should protect you." He touched his scar and Kira looked at it with a pained expression. "Your family is chosen for you at birth but you can also choose who you call family. It's why I consider Katara my little sister."
"And yeah, I know we've only just met, but my Uncle adores you already and even I'm starting to worry that someday you'll just disappear and go back to whatever life you were living out of some stupid insecurity that you're not good enough to live in a good home." Zuko rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He hated being so honest about his feelings. "So yeah, that kinda scares me, the thought of living in luxury while knowing that there's this amazing kid out there doing Angi knows what just to get by on the streets."
"I don't want that to happen, I don't want you to disappear," he then admitted, "So as Fire Lord I promise, under the light of Agni and the gaze of the spirits, that I'll take care of you for as long as you'll let me and I'll remind you as many times as it takes that you deserve a good life until you believe it."
"So, what do you say?" he finally offered.
That seemed to do the trick. Kira's crying only intensified but instead of keeping her distance she now moved towards him. Zuko wrapped the girl in his arms as she cried into his chest, shushing her softly as she did. His mother had done the same thing. Whenever Ozai made him cry she would hold him tightly.
"You're not alone anymore," he assured her with a lump in his throat, "You'll never have to be alone ever again."
Kira lifted her head and gazed into Zuko's eyes then she stood on the tips of her toes and kissed him softly on the cheek. Zuko smiled and only squeezed her tighter.
He was so sure now. So sure that he never wanted to let her go...