Brewing of a Perfect Storm

Chapter Four

MINA MURRAY'S JOURNAL

15 May

The funeral was a private affair and I am relieved that her mother decided it best for it to be so. As a result, only close friends and family attended. The crew, of course, were present, and I was bewildered upon seeing such large men cry over someone. They were burly and capable of snapping anyone in half yet they wore their hearts upon their sleeves even more than some women I have met.

I was incapable of keeping my emotions at bay and I wish that I were stronger. For the majority of the time, I spent it in Lucy's grasp, unable of holding back the sobs that wracked through my body.

The agony of death always strikes the hardest and results in the deepest wounds, always leaving a permanent scar that aches time and time again within the future. Alice was akin to a sister of mine. Our relationship was special and I loved her just as much as I love Lucy and Jonathan. Yet it was different all the same. I recognized her as a protector of sorts and I was aware that she would always be there for me, no matter what. Yet I felt that our love for each other was stronger, for it remained as fierce over the course of months or years. To see her again sparked a joy that no individual was capable of lighting within me. If only I had embarked upon a journey with her, to hold those memories that I refused to make…

It was the uncertainty, that aspect of fear of what was in store that resulted upon my hesitation. But it was that sense of adventure that Alice loved and sought out. She said that those moments were special but they were that much more so when she shared it with someone she cared about. Buts he did not push me, for she feared that she would push me away, that I would feel too pressured. She never wanted to make anyone uncomfortable and she always respected people's decisions. If only more people were like her…

I stared at her for the longest time as she laid in that coffin. She looked alive, only asleep. She had been dressed in her uniform and the jacket that I had made for her. The coffin was simple yet elegant at the same time, the finest Italian wood workers having worked upon it, getting it completed within that short span upon learning her death.

I had grown fatigued halfway through the morning to which I was practically a dead weight in Lucy's arms. She was more concerned than she was annoyed. Each time I attempted to apologize, I was answered with I was not a burden, that she was happy to comfort me as need be, for I had done so frequently for her. Yet, still being overwhelmed, I disregarded her words.

Alice was brought to the local cemetery, a mausoleum already ready for her to which her crewmates placed the coffin gently within the stone vault, sliding the slab over and sealing it. One by one, they each uttered a solemn good-bye, leaving a personal item atop the slab before turning and exiting the mausoleum. Then it was my turn and it took me much longer than I wished to even get the sobs out of my throat in order to create coherent sentences.

All I could do is place a hand on top of the cold slab, hating how someone so warm and lively was now trapped for an eternity in such frigidness. It seems so wrong. All of this was wrong. She was young, far too young… only twenty-two. A large part of me resents her for becoming a captain but all she wanted to do was make her father proud after his passing. "You made him proud," I finally whispered out. "You made him so very proud and now that you see him again… I hope that you shall watch over us, that you shall provide us fortune and wisdom as you did when you were alive. The world is such a cruel place. But you made it far better whenever I was with you. And I thank you for that… For being a friend no matter how long has passed, no matter how long it took for you to come back home. All I wish is that I had spent more time with you. I hope you rejoin with your father and I hope to see you one day in Fiddler's Green…" I wiped some tears from my eyes, my voice cracking. I turn, hastily leaving for I do not want to weep anymore, allowing Lucy to say her own farewells.

I heard her approaching footsteps a few moments later as I leaned against a larger headstone, feeling absolutely sick to my stomach, my mind creating scenarios of ways of this being a rather sick joke. This was not okay. She should not be… Why? Why her? Why not Ascot? But that is all I recall before everything suddenly grew dark.

Upon waking, Lucy informed me upon me passing out, stating that I have looked under the weather since I was aware of Alice's death. Yet sleep does not wish to grace me with her presence and I am left writing my thoughts upon the parchment.

16 May

Time appears to linger for me and all the festivities do little to bring me any form of easiness. My heart continues to ache for my friend, my captain. Anger also brews up towards one of Lucy's suitors despite the fact that he is in custody. He had no right to just leave her there in the hands of someone inadequate. It just… I have never felt such an amount of anger towards someone as I do now… The injustice of it all.

How many others did he allow to die because it was an inconvenience at the time? Why has he not lost his license due to malpractice? Because he is a renowned doctor… And he is known for miracles of many ailments. Perhaps many did die but he was capable of covering it up due to them not being more well0known as Alice is.

I feel horrendously awful for stating this but in a way… Her death was helpful upon the fact that the bastard is behind bars. But she is gone and it feels as though a portion of myself has died alongside her… My captain is gone.

LUCY WESTENRA'S DIRARY

15 May

8 AM

The day has barely begun and already tensions are high and spirits are low. Alice's funeral occurs within an hour and Mother has refused to get the carriage, to which I had to call for it. But it is the fact that Mother does not want me going that offends me the most. Economic enemy or not, she is still close to Mina and me. She has been a friend for years and it hurts that Mother wishes I disregard such a past in favour of her demands. She believes still that I shall abide to her without question, that I am still a naïve, young thing incapable of making my own decisions. But I know what is right for me, regardless of what she thinks. I wish that I am capable of instilling that yet it seems I lack that particular skill still.

Life passes by as it should but Mother does not want that to be the reality of it. I am not her child that she can attempt to shelter from the world and spoon feed her own thoughts and wants. Yet still she tries, and still she fails. She does not understand that she is fighting a battle that she has lost years ago. She gets up only to realize that she is, indeed, upon the losing side… And she was the one who began the war. Yet she intends to win, or at the very least, perish whilst trying.

Part of me admires her determination whilst the other part of me wants her to cease trying. But I know well that whatever she tells me will not be heeded. One must know the barriers, the lines and when people overstep it, cause worse problems even if one does not see it at the given time.

And if I am, per say to "rebel" any day, now will be the time, especially today, for Mina needs my love and support more than anything. I am to leave and if I do not have a chance to wish my mother good-day, then so bit it.

5 PM

I cannot console her as much as I thought I could. The last time that I have witnessed her distraught this horrendous was upon the death of her parents. I truly was unaware of how much Alice meant to Mina. Then again, Mina was able to spend more time with her as opposed to me for a series for variables. And while I do not believe the friendship I had with Alice was any lesser than the friendship she had with Mina, I believe, perhaps, there was another layer there. Something maybe even romantic between the two, even if neither acknowledged it to the other. Especially not after Mina had gotten engaged to Jonathan. She spoke of how aloof Alice was days following, how she even seemed… hurt, in that sense. Akin to a childhood crush that watched as someone else took them away and out of their life.

Regardless, Alice always treated Jonathan with respect and conversed with him warmly as though talking to an old friend or companion. She never allowed herself to be impertinent to anyone, less they were to her first. I have always held a grand amount of respect for her, especially upon the difficult challenge of emotions.

I have met a numerous amount of people who participate in same gender relationships. I learned that the term is "buggery" and that it is a do not ask, do not tell basis. Many put up a front so they are not looked down upon by friends and family. I find it to be rather silly Yet again, I do not perceive myself as religious as I ought to be.

Bible studies as a child say that a man is not to sleep with another man yet Mina spoke about a majority of the Bible being entirely misconstrued, that reading Arabic and Jewish texts result in different translations and thought. She believes much of the Bible is not true, the lessons, that is. And that a relationship between that of the same gender is not condemnable.

But the term, I do not approve of the word "buggery" to describe same gender engagements, for it also refers to relationships with animals and the likes that are simply immortal, inhumane. I do not condone sexual acts upon a species that is not human. Gender is one thing, yet species is not. To categorize something that is not absurd such as same gender relationships to that of those who commit unspeakable acts upon those not human demotes the people that do no wrong, that only wish to love a common entity such as their own species.

I have always wondered why Alice never did settle down. She had told me once that she was uncertain upon who would be right for her. She said that she had an inkling o someone that she would consider settling down with but she was unsure of their perspective. She never specified if it was a man or woman neither. To presume that she held no attraction to men would not be that far-fetched.

DR. SEWARD'S DIARY

12 May

Morning

I have not the faintest idea of what time it is for I am not given access to any watch or clock. I know that it is morning due to the light finally breaking through the station.

After arresting me and reviewing through this very book, they have returned it. I only pray that they did not go into too much upon certain pages dating a month or so back. I shall never know though.

My detainment follows that of the death of Captain Kingsleigh. I had no intention of leaving her in the hands of someone incapable of providing care to her. She was doing well and I did not expect such events to go south as quickly as they did. That was why I did not assume much practice would be required upon looking over her and tending to her wounds. I suppose that I misjudged… and where does that land me? In jail for killing, or assisting in the death of Captain Kingsleigh. Wonderful.

I had no malicious intentions, none at all. Even if I did want to kill her, there is nothing to justify it. She has done me no wrong and has merely helped my financial standing, if anything. England has been prospering economically and she has helped with medicine due to trade as well. For me to kill such a good merchant purposely is suicide and I wish that the officers would understand. I suppose that since it is a death that they take it far more seriously than that of burglary and theft, especially since she was so valued and had many economic connections.

The punishment will not be light, neither. While I do have a reputation of my own, which might help slightly, she was such a respected person that death does not seem to be that outrageous. All I hope is that I get a sentence and maybe my doctrine revoked. But that is only wistful thinking.

To go down in history as the doctor responsible for the great merchant Alice Kingsleigh's death. My, what a title,. What an absolute honour that would be. I wonder though if the doctor in Italy shall also be arrested and tried. Surely, he is just as guilty as me, is he not? While he might not have physically done anything, he is stil,l neglectful as I am… right? Please, for the love of God and all that is holy, please, please, please, do not let me be the sole person responsible for her death.

Wait a moment… Her wound! She had a laceration which was the reason she was in my care to begin with! Perhaps if we can find the person, then that will life the case off my back. The wound was not self-inflicted, that much I am aware of. Now how can I convince them…? They shall, no doubt, see it as an escape attempt and not heed my words truly. Only if I can get some leads, perhaps talk to someone. Lucy was good friends with her, I believe. Hopefully, she has taken a liking to me or at least will give me some help. There has to be something.

Yet what of Renfield? He is still in his cell, surely. But I cannot observe him the way I wish to. All that time and effort would be put to waste. Damn it. And I was onto something, some remarkable discovery of the human mind and its limitations and capabilities. Out of all the times that something like this could have happened.

JONATHAN HARSKER'S JOURNAL

16 May

Word has just reached Romani that Alice Kingsleigh, a good friend of my beloved Mina, has passed. I am unsure how well she is coping with the death for I know that she was close to her. I hope that she is faring well but I cannot just leave if I want to, neither. The paperwork is almost finished and all I need is a few extra days to get it in order before getting back to England which will take a couple of more days. I believe that he would have gone to Lucy by now and she is capable of helping her far more than I am. I do not have the emotional capability as I should and I wish I did. Mina deserves someone who can be there emotionally such as Lucy can.

I do believe that the Captain's death is ultimately going to cause a bigger delay than anticipated for everything. The Count is rather upset with the fact that his shipment has been delayed, well, indefinitely and that he must settle for the next merchant. He was, of course, calm about the whole ordeal, yet he spoke about his aggravation and how his following weeks would be that much more difficult. He would have to retrieve all the money and goods brought and transfer everything before we can continue on. Bank statements were made out to the Captain so he is to retrieve that in order to close the deal, which brings more work upon my end since it is new. More documents will ultimately be modified and identities will be updated as well. If the documents do not close in London at the office, no doubt I am obligated to return back to Transylvania.

1 PM

The Count has informed me of a delay within the paperwork, stating that someone in London is no longer available to him and there, he is unsure if he should proceed. He gave me no name of the person, nor relationship that they have with him. The only thing I was briefed with was that it had to do with the arrest of Dr. Seward.

I have heard his name plenty yet have only met him once. His visits are rather expensive and he does not deal with normal sicknesses yet that of mental health and all regarding the mind.

My first encounter with him was not ideal neither. I recognized him only upon remember seeing him within his office and I was capable of connecting the two. He was haughty, curt as well, acting as though speaking to him was a privilege more than anything. The amount of arrogance and lack of humility was enough to rival that of any aristocrat, yet I doubt that his income is even re3motely close.

His demeanor altered entirely when Mina approached and he became the most hospitable man one could reckon to find. He spoke kindly and held that gentleman aspect that all men should have, that chivalry. It was as though he was Jekyll and Hyde and he was not one to hide his flirtatious side, complimenting her whenever he wished. Mina, being as bright as she is, recognized his attempts and politely waved him off, disregarding him.

I was relieved to know that she did not recognize him, simply because no doctor, regardless of how good of a reputation he held or how well-known he is, should behave in such a manner. I suppose that karma did catch up with him. Rightfully so, as well. No man is greater than the law although he news still does not sit well on me. Why on Earth would someone as renowned as Seward leave someone equally distinguished as Kingsleigh with someone with barely a medical background and entirely unqualified with her? That is entirely suicidal and going along with how pretentious he is, I doubt he would jeopardize his own career, even life, for that.

The article said that he was going to Lucy's manor… Perhaps he discovered somehow that Mina was there and decided now would be an opportunity, given the one time I am not with her… What luck…

All of it seems… coincidental, however. Right before I leave for this trip, Seward attempts to romanticize my fiancée and when I do leave, Kingsleigh passes which Seward is to blame which means that the Count has to switch documents which results me staying longer here and Mina being left in the care of Lucy… That…. Is nonsensical and it should not be something to concern myself with. For I doubt that Mina would participate within that buggery. Besides, Lucy has several suitors, excluding Seward. Surely she is to take interest in them.

Nor will she threaten her family name if she is to partake in such an act. The Westenra's are a high standing aristocratic family with much to its name. Her mother would not tolerate any behavior that taints the name, especially that of buggery.

Mina means a lot to her, and Lucy means that much to Mina. They have known each other far longer than I have known Mina for and a part of me truly cannot help but fear that… There is something between the two. Something unorthodox. Just something that might lead to one thing and yet… I fear something that no man should. She is faithful, my fiancée. I have no reason to worry over such a thing that shall never occur. To doubt Mina to begin with proves my foolishness. If she would not go with another man, why would she with a woman? No, no. I am paranoid. This is merely a stream of consciousness, this entry. Journals are to be utilized to write down fears and emotions so they are not overflowing… But yet… There is still this fear. How am I to quell it?

MINA MURRARY'S JOURNAL

17 May

Ever since I have said my final good-byes, it feels as though there is always an uneasiness within the atmosphere, as though something is following me, always lurking around, watching me. The sadness and sense of loose merely adds to that foreboding feeling and it is not as though someone is simply spying on me but rather that they are reading my thoughts, looking past my clothing, skin, organs and bones, as if peering straight into my soul. It has been so disturbing that I had requested to sleep with Lucy last night for I felt at danger upon sleeping with myself. Even as I write this, I still feel watched and it truly frightens me.

4 PM

I managed to get an ounce of sleep and she was… there. She was standing in front of me, as bright and cheerful as she always are and she was smiling. That smile. That smile that always filled me to the brink with warmth and happiness. A smile, that no one could begin to compare to, that of an angel, signaling that all is right, that I need not.

She spoke to me and her voice was as calming as ever. She told me that she loved me, that the reason she wanted me to go with her was so it would bring her pure happiness upon her journey.

She said she died with that being her only disappointment… She-she revealed she loves me, far more than any firendhsip could allow. But she never said anything because I got engaged. She said that she could not subject me to her unhappiness because she did tell me when she ought. And she said that she had been watching me, wanting to ensure that I did not do anything drastic that would hurt me or Lucy.

"I did not think you would be as hurt as you were over my death," she spoke, her voice barely that of a whisper to which I immediately walked over, taking her face in her hands. She was ice cold, no warmth that I know her for.

"How could I not be? Alice, I love you… You just died so suddenly…I thought we had more time together.. I…" I was incapable of getting the words out, tears forming as I felt the sorrow threaten to suffocate me. "… You are so young… You had so much ahead of you…"

"Not without you," she responded, taking my hands tenderly in hers. "Mina, I literally traveled the world and I did not discover someone as amazing as you. But you are taken… By Jonathan, And as much as I love you, I cannot take your happiness away from you. That would be wrong…" She hesitated, rubbing her thumb gently over the back of my hands. "I must go…I cannot linger. This life is over for me."

Before I even knew it, her lips were on mine, and the kiss… Was unlike anything. I knew nothing as the dream ended, three words lingering in the air after her. "I love you."