Chapter Summary: Rin struggles with her past, as does Sesshoumaru, who also questions his title and future as danger ensues for them both.

Notes -

This is a long chapter...I was able to meet my weekly goal for this fic, so please enjoy.

You may also check out the illustration for this chapter here: /dearmisskitty/status/1380728641974247425

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Warning: this chapter contains heavy angst, violence, gore and death.

Rated M for violence and sexual content.

Chapter 4: Memories and Empires

"Rin."

She looked up at the woman in a pale green kimono who bent to her, calling her name and reaching her arms out. Her dark hair had become loose from its bun, her brown eyes filled with worry and her brow furrowed as she touched her. "Rin, come here." Her voice was in distress as she lifted her off the wooden floor, taking her into her arms.

"Mama?" she touched the woman's face, confused as the lights from the cracks in the door flashed on her skin. She latched onto her when she heard the sounds of sword and metal clashing coming from outside, a battle raging. She knew it was bandits her father had warned them about. Suddenly they heard the screams of an older boy calling out for help. The door burst open suddenly and she turned to face her brother who was a few years older than her.

"Papa's dead! They killed him!" he cried with tears in his eyes. "They killed him!"

The woman motioned for him and he ran to her, hugging on to her clothing. As the little girl sat in her mother's arms she listened to the terrifying noises outside, the sounds of horses running and men fighting, everything being destroyed. Suddenly she watched as the door opened again and another boy rushed in, covered in blood and cuts. She screamed and buried her face into her mother's chest. He was breathing raggedly as he cried out, gasping for air, "Mama." She glanced up as she heard his body drop to the floor and it terrified her, catching her breath as the woman grasped tightly onto her.

"No!" the boy closest to her let go of their mother's kimono and ran to her brother who had fallen, dropping at his side and taking him into his arms. He cried, holding onto him as the life left him, the frightening sounds from outside drawing closer.

She then felt herself being lowered to the ground and looked up to face her mother who placed both hands on her face. She was sobbing, tears streaming down her red cheeks, but she spoke firmly, "Rin, it will be alright." The girl nodded fearfully, tears forming in her own eyes. She glanced over at the body of her brother who lay on the floor as the other one held him, blood seeping out from him. She gasped suddenly as her mother pulled her back to face her. "Rin!" she yelled. "You must listen to me!"

Her mother quickly grabbed her wrist and led her to the back of the room, letting go for only a moment as she moved blankets away from the floor. The girl watched as her mother found a crack in the floorboards and started pulling at it with her fingers. She winced and cried out in pain as she struggled to pry it open, cutting her skin and causing it to bleed. "Mama," she sobbed, fear filling her as she watched, listening to the sounds of her older brother crying and the noises from outside. But the wood finally came loose and the woman pulled up two boards. "Rin," she beckoned to her, taking her hand again and leading her to the opening she'd found.

"Mama," she cried again, shaking her head.

"Rin, listen to me. Get in, now." she spoke firmly.

The little girl nodded hesitantly and climbed into the opening beneath the floor. She slowly went to her knees so that she could fit, dropping her head down. It was very dark and cold, the dirt dusting up around her bare feet and legs. It scared her, and she turned to face her mother from above, who placed a hand on her cheek. "Mama," she cried, grasping onto the woman's wrist, "What about you and-"

"There's no time," she paused, "and no room." the woman spoke with tears in her intense brown eyes. "Please listen to me. Be silent. You must not say a word." she stressed. There was urgency in her voice, but then it softened as she caressed her daughter's face. "My sweet, brave girl. Don't be afraid," she closed her eyes briefly, the tears rolling down her cheeks. "Rin, you must live."

She could feel the tears streaming down her own face as her mother let go of her, moving the floorboards back over her. "Mama," she softly whispered. She was left in the cold dark underneath the floor of their home, but could still see through the cracks, just barely. She could see her mother, the calm resolve she had while looking at her quickly vanish. Instead, intense dread and fear filled her tear stained face and she didn't know if her mother could see her also through the small cracks in the floor. Her mother turned then as the unsettling sound of the front door creaked open.

"Mama-" she caught herself, placing a hand over her mouth. Her heart was pounding so fast. She watched from below as her mother spoke, "Please, take everything. Just don't hurt my children, please!" her voice was ragged and desperate, drenched in sobs. She then heard the sound of heavy footsteps enter, and the sudden sound of a sword swooping downward, choked screams escaping from her older brother. "No!" her mother cried out and she could see her figure reaching outwards until the sword suddenly took her also.

Her mother's body fell with a thump on the floorboards just above her, her face and hand partially visible through the cracks. The girl looked up at her, meeting her eyes and reaching out with her small hand against the boards above her. She kept the other hand over her mouth from fear of her voice giving her away. She could hear the footsteps above her moving about their home, her heart threatening to burst. She kept her eyes locked with her mother's, listening and watching as the life slowly faded away from her.

Tears became uncontrollable as she struggled to remain silent. She drew both hands over her mouth now, choking back what she could. She closed her eyes when she knew her mother had left her, facing downwards and into the darkness. The footsteps were still there though, and she could hear them going through everything in their small home. Furniture was being crashed over, dishes breaking, bedding torn apart and everything they had of value taken, until there was nothing left to search and destroy.

She continued waiting in the darkness, and after a few moments the footsteps finally left. The sounds outside had also changed and it had become quiet after some time. She could hear the cicadas humming now and the crickets chirping that told her the night was coming. She still waited though, for what seemed like forever in the dark, just waiting for something, or someone to come and save her.

But no one came.

In what moments had now turned into hours, she finally mustered what strength she had left to look up. Her mother's face was still above her looking down at her, but her eyes were now glossed over, a hollow shell. She bit her lip, pressing up on the floorboards which came loose again easily. Gripping onto the wood above her, she pulled herself up and slowly climbed out from where her mother had hidden her. It was dark now, but she could still somewhat see from moonlight shining in through the cracks in the door and window.

She sat next to her mother's lifeless body, looking down and placing a hand over her dark brown hair that was much like her own. She didn't cry though, the tears having left her hours ago. She would be brave, just as she was told to. She glanced over at the bloody bodies of her older brothers on the floor nearby and stood, walking over to them.

They just lay there, holding each other, dead and strangely at peace, almost like they were sleeping. She placed a hand on each of their heads, one at a time. She walked to the front door then, turning back to look at the bodies of her family and their home that was once a place of comfort now torn apart and splattered in blood. She felt calm though, not frightened like she was before. She didn't say anything, or feel anything really. She just felt distant from it all.

She walked outside, glancing around at the bodies of other villagers who lay on the ground, ripped apart and covered in blood. Noticing a familiar one, she slowly walked over to it. It was her father. She bent, placing a hand over his head just as she had her mother and brothers. Closing her eyes, she said a small prayer for their souls, before rising again. And then, she just started walking as the crescent moon shone above her, unsure of where she was going. Her face was somber, hardly an emotion, but her mother's words came to her again and it pushed her to go on.

"Rin, you must live."

. . .

Rin awakened suddenly, and she found herself with tears in her eyes as she stared up at the wooden ceiling. Darkness filled the room as she lay on her mat, covered by a thin blanket. She coughed, suddenly feeling nausea wash over her and then vanish just as quickly as it had appeared. She groaned and closed her eyes, wiping her tears away.

She hadn't visited those memories in quite some time, let alone dream of them so vividly. She could even recall the metallic scent of blood, the screams of her family members, and then the nausea came back again. She rolled over to her side and sat up quickly, clutching her mouth and choking as she tried to keep it at bay. She waited a few moments, before it subsided thankfully.

Pausing for a second, she wondered what had stirred this up, why she would dream of such things. She had let these memories go, or suppressed them it would seem. For them to surface like this there must be a reason, right? She closed her eyes, trying to replace the darkness with something else to calm her. The image of his golden eyes suddenly came to her mind and she was able to breathe again. Laying back down in the darkness, she pulled the covers up to her neck and sighed.

Rin remembered their last day together, how it felt to be near him, against him, speaking with and touching each other. She closed her eyes and blushed, hugging herself to mimic the pressure of him on top of her, imagining his long silver hair pooling around her, his golden stare, full of hunger, tenderness, and something else. Something else?

She opened her eyes again, remembering the distance between them also and the words he didn't say. It bothered her the more she had thought of it in the last couple of days since she saw him. What was he not telling her? What was he hiding?

The secrecy of their relationship? Was it shame or guilt? Or something else? No, it had to be something else. Fear?

She realized then, of course that's why he didn't speak of it. She had only picked up on something unsettling him from within. It would never be like him to share this kind of feeling with anyone, and likely not even her. She knew that he was prideful, but perhaps it was more than that. And maybe that feeling of fear was what had caused those memories to come back to her.

Rin bit her lip in that moment, feeling it all surging back to her, the loss and the pain she had suffered in her youth. The isolation, the hurt inflicted by others and the loneliness. And then, he saved her, when she finally and truly had nothing left, not even her own life. Tears came to her and she let out a soft sob, laying her arm over her eyes, but it couldn't be stopped. "Lord Sesshoumaru," she cried to herself quietly, "Where are you?"

. . .

The clouds parted against the blue night sky as a figure glided through them. The stars and moon lit up his silver hair that caught on the breeze from the howling wind. He could see it there in the distance, the place he grew up in. He didn't like coming back here whenever he did, but would bear it for as long as he needed to. The wind picked up and he moved against it, soaring higher until it took him to his destination. It dropped him suddenly and he landed firmly on the platform beneath him, the marble flooring glistening under his armored footwear.

He walked up the steps, glancing around but not finding anyone present. But just as he was thinking that this wouldn't do, he heard a loud roar sounding from the skies. Looking over his shoulder, clouds cleared to show off the full moon, bright as a backdrop for a large beastly figure. It tore through the sky, making its way closer to him.

He knew it was her and watched calmly as she descended, evolving into a smaller human-like form as she landed several meters away from him. She approached him slowly, her long purple kimono trailing at her feet as she clutched the meido necklace she wore. She looked ethereal in the moonlight, as any cosmic dog demon would when it was at its most powerful underneath a full moon.

"Sesshoumaru," she spoke as she neared him, "I was enjoying basking in the moon but sensed you were near. This is quite unexpected." She walked past him and to her throne, sitting down and turning to face him. She leaned to her side, resting her chin on her clasped hand. "A treat, as always when my only child comes to visit me." she glanced up at him and he studied her expression, which appeared amused. He had always found himself trying to guess her intent since he was small, as that had helped him to predict her actions and what might impact him. It was survival through instinct that he had learned. "Good evening, mother." he answered her firmly and politely.

"To what do I owe the pleasure?" she asked, watching as he stepped forward.

Truthfully, he sought her advice, but knew he could not say that directly, nor exactly imply it. Everything had to be worded carefully when dealing with something of this nature. As he was deciding what he must say, he noticed the crease in her lips, as if he was entertaining her. He frowned, "I have come here to-"

"Oh, I already know." she interrupted him. He didn't respond, but was mildly taken aback and she continued, "I have eyes and ears everywhere, my son." She caressed her meido stone as she spoke. "When exactly did you intend on telling me?" she asked, meeting his gaze with a firm expression. Her amusement appeared to have faded. He wondered how much she really knew exactly.

Sesshoumaru stepped forward, also firm in his expression and stance. "I am here now, mother. I came to tell you of my intentions and to speak about my birthright." he answered her, his golden eyes filled with intent and resolve of the decisions he had made. She smiled then, but in a way that made him cringe on the inside.

"To marry a human woman?" she commented lightly, just before her tone changed, "You would lose your birthright, your claim to the throne, your honor." her voice had become full of bitterness as she leaned forward, "If you fail to build your empire, you would lose the inherited title of the Great Demon Lord of the Western Lands," anger was present now, "You would lose the respect and the fear from your enemies. They will see your decision as weakness." she paused, "Just like your father."

Sesshoumaru winced but attempted to hold it back. She always had a way of saying cutting remarks since he was small. He wanted to believe he had grown used to it, but still felt the sting every time. He knew though, that there was some personal thing she was relating to in his decisions, and it stopped him from becoming angered right away. He understood what that felt like, resentment towards his father. And yet, here he was, as she seemed to compare them to one another, in a similar situation.

He found himself with a clenched fist and let go of it, loosening his expression as well. He realized that was something that Rin had changed in him, the ability to see the perception of others, through their eyes. He knew his mother meant well, even if she was being spiteful in that moment. If she didn't truly care for him, she would have never spared Rin's life in the past to begin with.

"Mother," he spoke, but she stopped him.

"Of course, financially," her tone and expression had changed, softened somewhat, "I will not allow you to suffer, as this is my choosing." she nodded towards him.

Sesshoumaru wondered if she was being genuine, or if she was making him feel indebted to her. Either way, it partially made him uncomfortable. "But," she chimed in again, "I would warn you, to consider the Lord of the East, what he will think, and how it will affect you." her golden eyes flashed at him then, "And the woman." her tone voiced concern, but also a firm warning, "Think of how it will affect her as well. And if she were to bear your child, think of its life," she paused, coldly, "as well as its death."

This gave him pause, as he hadn't truly even considered this aspect of his relationship with Rin. The thought of her carrying and bearing his child filled him with dismay, but also a peculiarity that sparked something from within he couldn't describe. He imagined her, as his wife, sitting next to him in the home he was making for her, wearing one of the kimonos she made from the fabric he gifted her. He envisioned a future, the sound of her voice, the touch of her skin, the taste of her lips, her soft smile.

Resolve filled him in that moment and he looked up at his mother, his brow furrowed. "Do you think I do not know the possible consequences of my own actions?" he asked firmly.

"Of course not," she shot back, "But I am also asking you to remember what happened to your father because of his love for humans." she bared her teeth in that moment, "He is dead now! As is the woman he loved!" As soon as she growled her last breath, she sat back, regaining her composure.

"I have love for no one." he replied angrily, but in a low voice.

"Don't you though?" she scoffed, and it made him feel like he was being accused of something vile. He wasn't sure if she was mocking him out of her own feelings of spite, the way she was comparing him to his father and his affinity for humans. No, for him this was different from his father. It was not a trait he shared with him, but something else. He didn't feel drawn like this to anything or anyone but her, and it had nothing to do with the fact that she was also a human. Of this he was certain.

When Sesshoumaru finally regained his calm state of mind, assured in his own decisions, he faced her, "I did not come for your permission, mother," he told her matter of factly, "Only to announce that I have chosen another path." He turned to leave, affirmed in what he was doing, but felt her gaze lingering after him.

"Sesshoumaru," she called out, and he turned back, slowly glancing over his shoulder at her. Her golden eyes had softened somewhat, glistening as they caught the moonlight. Her expression read something different now, and he realized that perhaps it was of true concern for him. "So that is it then?" she asked, and he swore he felt a tinge of sadness in her voice.

"Yes," he replied in his deep voice.

She sighed in response, sitting back in her seat as if she had given up, defeated. He found himself wanting to understand where she was coming from, but he was also unsure of pressing further into the issue. Even though he had always been distant from both his father and mother, he could tell that she did care for him in her own way. His eyes glinted and he turned back to take his leave, before she spoke his name.

"Sesshoumaru," she said softly, "Be careful."

He took off in flight as her words ended, and into the cloudy night sky. But he suddenly felt something in that moment, something pulling him. It was like an urge from within, a presence, like something or someone was calling his name. He felt pain, sadness, and something else he was still having trouble placing. He squinted his golden eyes, his expression filled with intent and pressed his body through the wind, faster as it carried him forward, to find her.

. . .

The moon was still shining through the cracks in the small house as she traced the light of its shape on the wooden floor next to her. She lay quietly on her side, blanket covering her and the tears on her face dried up from crying earlier. Her eyes felt swollen, and she knew they were likely also red. It had been some time since she first woke from that awful dream, and she hadn't been able to fall back asleep. But at least she had stopped crying.

She was thankful that Kaede slept in the other room, private from her. She didn't want to wake her, and would feel badly if she were ever to see her like that. She realized then, that no one had ever seen her that upset before. It was something she kept to herself, the sadness, the pain, the loneliness. The only person that ever came close to seeing this part of her was him, and that had only been in the last couple of months since he started coming to see her again.

Her eyes had adjusted to the dark, and she could see almost everything. She glanced around at the walls, the closed door and windows, the firepit, a few pieces of furniture, and the storage holding her belongings. She could name everything he ever brought to her or sent to her from afar, but it was the fabric that meant the most. She had learned to sew, and it had become a valuable skill to her, but she also enjoyed it. She enjoyed being creative, and loved the long hours it took for her to complete anything. She could lose herself in those stitches, which always seemed to bring her clarity and purpose.

Suddenly she heard the wind drift in from outside and through the cracks just under the door. There was a howl in the wind, as if it was threatening to break in. It made her curious, and then she sensed something. Her eyes widened and she slowly pulled back her blanket as she sat up. She was only wearing her inner kimono, all white with a blue sash drawn across her waist to keep it closed. She brought herself up to stand, barefoot as she stepped onto the cold wooden floor.

She made her way to the front door, not thinking or bothering to find one of her kimonos to put on. She was hesitant as she reached for the edge of the door, knowing that she probably shouldn't open it, but she felt something pulling her. As she slid the door open slowly, she glanced out into the night. Everything was lit up a pale blue underneath the full moon. Not seeing anything immediately, she cautiously stepped past the threshold and onto the dirt, still barefoot.

"Rin," a deep voice called to her.

Turning to her right, Rin saw a familiar figure standing in the distance, near the river. "Lord Sesshoumaru?" she whispered, knowing that he could hear her even from the few meters away. She turned back to the front door to quietly slide it shut, careful not to wake Kaede. She then softly padded a couple meters away from the house until she knew it was clear, and then she ran to him. She was filled with joy to see him, and could see his golden eyes shining as she drew closer. She had called out to him earlier, was it possible that he had heard her cries?

She ran right into his arms, not caring how he might respond. But she knew it would be ok, as they were the only two in the moonlit darkness. He caught her as she dove into him, bending slightly from the impact. "Rin," he spoke her name again, and she could feel he was startled at first as she wrapped her arms around him tightly. But then she felt herself being pulled into him, his own arms around her.

A few moments passed before she slowly pulled her head back to face up at him, "But, Jaken hasn't come yet," she realized, remembering the plans he had told her would take place before she was to join him again. She searched his gaze, curious as it felt tender towards her, but there was also something behind that expression, like he was still hiding something.

"I wanted to see you." he spoke, brushing strands of her dark hair from her face with his claws.

"Oh," she blushed, looking up at him and noticing a frown appear on his face. He lifted his hand back to her face, delicately wiping a finger underneath her left eye. He didn't say anything, but leaned downward and used his tongue to slowly lick where tears had stained her cheeks and eyelids. She winced at first as he did so, and she felt her eyes becoming teary again. She felt embarrassed, unsure if it was from her tears or the awkward gesture he'd made.

Sesshoumaru pulled back from her, studying her face as he took his thumb to wipe the fresh tears away. He could tell something was wrong, and he found it painful to see her like this. He then noticed she was only wearing her inner kimono, and he could see more of her figure because of that. Ignoring it, he then averted his eyes back to her face and pulled her into him once more, pressing her head against his armored chest. He felt her relax and he frowned again, wanting to do something for her.

"Rin," she heard his gentle voice from above her, "May I take you away from here, just for the night?" She looked up at him, searching his face full of strength and kindness. She looked back to the house, knowing that Kaede was resting inside. She wondered how it would impact tomorrow, yet at the same time, she wanted to take this risk. She wanted to go with him, no more questioning it or worrying about what others would think. She turned back to him, nodding, "Yes."

He took no hesitation as he picked her up into his arms and she latched onto the back of his neck quickly, holding on tightly. In seconds he had ascended high into the blue night sky and she gasped from the shock of it. "Hold on," he assured her and she listened, tightening her grip even more. She glanced down at where she lived with Kaede, watching it become smaller and smaller as they left the area. They were headed south, she could tell, which was different from where she had been before.

Rin looked up at him, his face full of determination as he faced forward. She felt his claws tighten on her body and it made her feel safe, resting her head against him. She breathed in his scent of fur, musk and forest and it relaxed her. Time had passed as they were crossing over hills and trees now and she began to feel herself drifting, content in his arms. She was feeling at peace now just by being near him, calming her from the nightmare she'd had. She closed her eyes and smiled. "Lord Sesshoumaru," she breathed, not realizing she had said his name aloud while half asleep.

Sesshoumaru glanced down at the woman in his arms, noticing that she was falling asleep. "Rest, Rin." he spoke to her, a slight smile escaping him as she softly moaned in response and nudged against him. Her arms around his neck had loosened and so he held onto her tighter, keeping her safe as she rested in his arms. The fabric to her inner kimono was thin, and he could feel more of her curves against his arms and hands, her softness alluring him. Every time he saw her, his desire for her grew. He fought it though, out of respect for her, and a greater desire of wanting all of her, not just in a physical sense.

He pressed through the clouds, moving swiftly yet gently as he carried his sleeping Rin. He realized he had sensed her earlier, upon the departure from that castle in the sky. He must have, seeing the way she ran to him, fell against him and looked up with such a wrecked expression. She had been crying, he could tell. He wanted to take away her pain, offer her something in its place.

Glancing down at her, he studied her expression, so soft and tender as she nuzzled against him. He wanted to kiss her, but he didn't. Instead he let her rest, continuing on their flight. It had been some time since they had left the village, and he could now see ahead where the land dropped off and the ocean began. He descended down to the edge of a cliff that sat high above the sandy and rocky shores. Landing gently, he noticed she was already stirring.

"Rin," He bent his neck to nuzzle his nose against her face, causing her eyes to slowly flutter open. She moaned just barely, rubbing her eyes with her hands. "Oh, Lord Sesshoumaru," she said sleepily, "I'm so sorry, I fell asleep." He didn't say anything in response, instead softly letting her out of his arms. She glanced around as he did, catching her breath.

"Oh," she exclaimed. "This is beautiful," she gazed from side to side the view she was taking in as she walked forward in the long swaying grasses. The ocean was almost black against the night sky, save for the moon and stars reflections that sparkled on the waves. It stretched out farther than she could see, the sound of the water splashing against the sandy beach below. The tide moved in and out, and all was quiet and serene aside from the waves, moving. It was breathtaking.

Rin turned back to him and noticed that familiar crease on his lips that suggested a smile. She laughed, feeling full with joy, for this adventure he'd taken her on. She enjoyed sharing these moments with him, and what they were able to give to each other. She felt like this would be another memory for her to keep, to hold onto, always.

Sesshoumaru watched her body move as she walked back towards him, the glare from the moon highlighting what was underneath her clothing. He glanced away for only a second, until she was closer then looked down to her. She reached out, touching his arm and again it startled him. He enjoyed the feeling of her body touching his, so why did this reaction still happen? Perhaps because it was unexpected, that he still questioned it, her wanting to be with him. He didn't know.

He watched as she turned to stand by his side, her hand still placed on his left arm. They looked out at the full moon together, its reflection glittering on the waters below. The sound of the waves softly crashed against the rocks and sand, and he decided to share something with her in that moment. "I used to come here alone, ever since I was a small child." he spoke, breaking the silence. He noticed her look up at him, but he kept his gaze ahead. He then remembered, it didn't stay that way, those fond memories of a youth's escape. This was also the last place he saw his father alive, and that was the last time he'd come here. Since then it was no longer a place of solace, but had become a bitter memory of the night his father died.

Rin watched his face change from one of content to one of regret, anger, as well as sadness. She leaned against his arm, wondering what else he could be thinking. As she studied his face, full of mixed emotions, she slowly reached out her hand. His eyes widened slightly as she placed her hand on his cheek, like it had taken him out of something he was trapped in. He turned to face her, his golden eyes searching her. She wanted to comfort him, to be the one holding him instead of the other way around.

He blinked slowly, his expression changing and softening towards her. "Rin," he breathed, allowing her to caress him. He liked the way it felt, her soft fingertips on his skin, tracing his blood markings and then his eyelashes, his nose, and his lips. He watched her as she did so, her eyes studying him intently, as if she were trying to read his mind. He badly wanted to let her in, to show her parts of himself that no one else had ever seen. But for now, this wasn't about him. This was for her.

"I want to take you down there," he nodded to the beach and she followed his gaze, her hand slowly dropping away from his face. She smiled back at him, nodding. He wrapped his arms around her immediately, leaping into the air as she clutched onto him. Her dark hair whipped in the wind along with his long silver hair as they glided down to the sandy shores. They landed in seconds and he let her down, her bare feet pressing into the wet sand. The water rushed up to her ankles and she gasped at how cold it was. "Oh, it feels so nice," she exclaimed.

Sesshoumaru watched as she splashed in the water, kicking her feet in it and sometimes bending over to let it move against her hands and fingers. She looked up at him as she did so, the waves gliding in and out over her forearms. "Lord Sesshoumaru, you should try this." She happened to find a seashell in the water and clutched onto it, laughing. "Look what I fou-, she looked again at him, only to notice he was facing away from her and she stopped.

Rin stood to her full height then, the wind catching her long dark hair as she studied him. She was never sure why he would sometimes grow distant from her like this, just as he had atop the cliff moments ago. It seemed like everytime they began to grow closer, he would push her away, at least in an emotional sense. He wouldn't look at her even now. She found herself slowly losing the momentum she had gained from being here and looked down, watching the waves move in and out over her feet as she held the shell in her hands.

She then heard him walking away and she looked up, "Lord Sesshoumaru?" she called after him.

"I'm going to build a fire, to help your clothing dry." he responded as he continued in another direction. She glanced down at herself, curious by what he said and blushed furiously. Parts of her inner kimono were wet, and her skin had become visible in parts where it clung to her. She realized then that was perhaps why he had faced away from her. She felt embarrassed, tugging at the fabric and shaking it, hoping it would make it less damp.

She walked out from the water, shivering as a breeze suddenly came in. It didn't help that her clothing was mildly wet. She looked up as she saw him in the distance on the beach. She could tell he was gathering driftwood and while it made her happy he was doing this for her, she still felt awkward about the situation. She looked down at the seashell in her hand, studying its shape, curved and jagged, smooth.

Rin also noticed in the sand other shells appearing as the water washed over. She bent down, content with the distraction from her thoughts. Picking up the shell, she then reached for another before standing again. She could see many down the beach line, and so she followed, picking up the ones she found the most pretty. They were all different colors of the same shade, some speckled and others coarse. She had tugged at her skirt, curving the fabric so that she had somewhere to place them all.

She imagined giving them to Sango's children, how pleased they would be. But of course, she would keep just one for herself, perhaps as a memento. She was finding the joy she had earlier return to her as she picked up the shells and examined them. The last one she found though, was unusual and larger than the rest. Picking it up, she quickly noticed claws coming out of it. She let out a small yelp, dropping it as it fell back into the wet sand. The shell turned over and sprouted legs, walking away. She realized it was just a creature that had made its home in the shell and she laughed to herself. But then something changed suddenly, a scent in the air and a feeling that made her heart drop. Turning around and looking up, her eyes widened in fear and she screamed.

Sesshoumaru was further down the beach and away from Rin, gathering wood when he heard her cry. The worn boards dropped from his arms as he turned in that direction and his golden eyes blazed, dashing towards the sound of her. The water splashed up underneath his fast paced footing as he urgently placed his right hand over his Bakusaiga sword, ready for anything as he quickly drew closer.

"Lord Sesshoumaru!" He heard her cry out his name, louder now as he was nearing her and he growled, pressing forward. "Rin!" he called back to her. He sped to a stop as he approached the scene, the sand kicking up and dusting around him. He looked up to see a tall and hulking ogre demon, its skin a dark red, black wild hair and horns with green eyes. It turned to look down at him and in its hand it held his Rin.

Sesshoumaru didn't make any sudden movements, for fear of it crushing her in its claws. The demon laughed, its yellow teeth bared at him. "What's this?" it growled, "I saw it first." it claimed, acknowledging that he too was a demon, but likely assuming he also wanted the human as a meal. Sesshoumaru's brow furrowed as he glanced to Rin's face, strained and scared and she clutched onto the demon's firm grip. He looked back to the demon now, ready to make the next move.

But before he could do anything, the ogre demon spoke again, "All right," it growled, studying him. It could likely tell he was thousands of times more powerful just by his scent and was second guessing its decisions. It sneered at him, "I will share," it stuck out its gruesome tongue, "Just a leg, a small taste, yes," As it reached its tongue towards her dangling body, Rin cried out again in terror.

Something wild flashed in Sesshoumaru's intense golden eyes, "Rin is mine!" he snarled in a booming voice..

In that moment he quickly drew the Bakusaiga from its sheath and leapt forward, striking it against the massive demon. In a flash, its arm was slashed right off its body and it howled out in pain. The hand of the demon let loose of Rin and she fell from the tall height, crying out until Sesshoumaru suddenly caught her. He flew past the demon who was screaming in agony, clutching at the shoulder where his arm once was, blood gushing out and spilling onto the sand and rocks. "Why?!" it roared, "Why?!"

Sesshoumaru landed back on the sandy ground, still holding onto Rin, his bared Bakusaiga in his right hand and facing it towards the ogre demon. The monster looked up at him as it held onto its shoulder, attempting to stop the blood but to no avail. "Who?" it seethed, looking at not only Sesshoumaru, but also to Rin. Something in its menacing green eyes sparked and it seemed to be assessing what it saw when looking at them.

"Y-you're not, Lord Sesshoumaru?" it sounded taken aback as it writhed there, down on one knee. Sesshoumaru glared at the monster, but did not say anything in return. "It cannot be true, the rumors, they are true?" it gawked in its hellish voice. This sparked the silver haired demon lord's curiosity. His mother had mentioned she had those that spied for her, but this had to be something else. He grit his teeth and stepped forward, letting go of Rin and sheathing his sword. He stood in front of her, eyes glaring and facing the ogre demon.

It looked up at him, green eyes full of fury and ferociously bared its teeth again, "Kirinmaru," he seethed, "He will be-"

Suddenly the demon's sentence was stopped as the sound of skin and bone being ripped apart withdrew his head from his body. Blood spewed everywhere and Sesshoumaru landed back on the ground where he began, his arm at his side and claws covered in blood. He flexed his fingers, the red ooze dripping from him. He turned to look at Rin, her face in shock as she held a hand over her mouth and sitting on her knees. She didn't look at him, but at the demon's body and severed head that slumped on the ground, blood still spilling from it.

Sesshoumaru looked at hand, dripping with blood. He could feel his own blood pulsating from the kill, fueling something inside of him. "Lord Sesshoumaru," he heard her voice quiver and he looked down at her as she faced up at him. "Your eyes," she spoke and he realized his demon blood was still surging within. They must be the color of blood, he knew it from the look she gave him. Was it fear, or perhaps, concern?

He faced away from her, walking to the shore's edge on the beach. Bending over, he let the water wash over his hand and claws. The coolness seemed to calm something inside, soothe even and he allowed it, unwilling to face her again like this. The blood seeped away eventually and he stood again, feeling composed and the demon blood within him at bay once more. He walked back to her, standing over her as she looked up at him, her expression full of mixed emotions. He frowned, reaching down to her, wanting to apologize, but he didn't.

She took his hand and stood up with his help, feeling weak from all that had happened. He took her into his arms, lifting her up to carry her. He turned to walk away and leave behind that gruesome scene she had been witness to, feeling guilt from it. All while they had traveled together when she was small, he always went out of his way to keep her from the violence, as best that he could. And yet, she was still used as a pawn and exposed to much more than she should have been. And tonight, remembering how he'd first found her, she didn't deserve that. He shouldn't have walked away from her on the beach, leaving her when he should have looked after her. But it was because of his weakness he did so, and it angered him. But perhaps what angered him most was the side of himself he had exposed her to again, the killer within him, the demon. He knew he frightened her, even though she would never admit it. He longed to be near her, and at the same time, was afraid that she would become too close, and it would bring nothing but suffering and pain, death.

After some time, he came upon the driftwood that was dropped when he heard her cries. It was in the dead of night, and he knew that she was cold, still damp and frightened. He wanted to make this better. "Rin," he asked, "Are you able to walk?" She nodded in response and so he let her down and she waited for him as he gathered the wood once more. He walked back towards the height of the cliff as she followed him, remembering a small cave he'd come across in the past.

He looked down at her, noticing she was visibly distraught and he grimaced, blaming himself for it. But then, she latched onto his arm and leaned against him as they walked, which made him curious but it also quieted his internal conflict. He glanced up at the entrance to the cave they approached and stopped. "Rin, stay behind me." he told her, cautiously looking inside. He wondered if this was where the ogre demon had been living, or if it had simply been passing through. All though, this cave was much too small for him and looking around in the dark, it appeared empty. He couldn't catch any particular scent either, just dirt and rocks, some shells likely from high tides washing in.

Memories started to come to him as he walked inside, remembering the time he had spent here. It had been at least a century ago, but not much had changed. He set about his task of building a fire, locating loose flint rocks that had fallen from the dark walls of the cave. As he piled the driftwood pieces together, he glanced back at Rin to see her finding a place to sit down. She settled for a bare patch of dirt and sand, leaning against a part of the rocky wall that was smooth enough.

He stood as he could feel her watching him and walked towards the entrance of the cave, picking clumps from the tall dry grasses he'd noticed before. He added it to the driftwood, underneath the logs. As he was hunched over, he then used the flint rocks, repeatedly grinding and clacking them together to create sparks. When it finally took, the dryness of the grasses lit up the wood with no trouble.

"Oh," Rin exclaimed, watching the flames slowly take over the driftwood to create an inviting fire. He met her gaze and she smiled at him as he stood to his full height. "I don't think I've ever seen you make a fire before," she noted, "It was always Master Jaken." He didn't respond, but turned around from her. He was being distant again, and this time she knew it was what had happened on the beach. But which part of it, she wasn't sure. She had tried to lighten the mood by complimenting him on the fire, but now she found herself biting her tongue. She brought her knees up to her chest, hugging them as she watched him still facing away from her as he removed his swords and lay them on the sandy floor. Then he undid his yellow sash and armor, letting it all drop to the ground with a thud.

She blinked, trying to recall if she had ever seen him without armor. She remembered during the time she traveled with him as a child, how he would disappear sometimes. She knew it wasn't just because he was searching for Naraku, but because he needed private time. At least, that's what Master Jaken called it. She did had her private time also, so she understood this, bathing in rivers and such. But seeing him like this now, as he turned back to her, there was more of him in view than there had been before.

He was only wearing his white and red clothing now as he stepped closer to her, his armored footwear still on. She watched every move he made as he lowered himself to sit next to her, also leaning against the rocks. When he closed his eyes she was sensing he was tired, drained and she realized that she very much was also. She wondered what he was thinking, the quietness of him that filled their space. She glanced to her left, looking out to the ocean that was still visible from the entrance of the cave. The sound of the water was soft as glided in and out over the sandy beach and it helped to calm her. But she was also recalling the sight of the demon's blood, which oddly reminded her of her mother, the blood that spilled from her and dripped onto her from above in that dark hiding space she once occupied. She blinked her tears away, trying to forget.

"Rin," his voice spoke to her and she turned to face him. He wasn't looking at her though, but ahead, as if he were searching his thoughts. "I am sorry," he paused, "for what happened to you." She frowned as he spoke, because she could hear the distress in his voice. She lowered her knees, inching closer to him. "It's all right." she responded gently, reaching out to touch his arm. He flinched at first when she did so, and it pained her.

"No, it's not."

Rin studied his face, trying to understand what was going on in his mind. She realized then, perhaps it was not just the violence he was sorry for, but how he responded in that final stroke, when he took the ogre demon's life. There was something different about him then, and she knew it was the demon part of him. She did admit to herself, that it did frighten her, the energy that exuded off of him. And when he looked at her, those red eyes with ice colored pupils, his blood markings ablaze, it struck a nerve. But it was a nerve that felt like instinct, not choice, to pull away from him. And this pained her also.

She remembered then, that she had seen him like this once before, when that monk attempted to take her away from him, when she was small. His words rang in her mind again, "He is an evil spirit. Humans and demons live in different worlds." She knew their differences, she always had known, as she was raised that way also, to live in fear of those different from her, especially demons. But she also remembered that day she had ventured into the forest alone, foraging for food to feed herself, and came upon him. He was broken, just like her.

It was then, that she first saw the similarities between them, not the differences. She glanced down as her hand was still on his arm and she smiled, caressing her fingers against his white clothing and traced down to his bare skin and hand. She knew these were the same claws that struck down the ogre demon and she took his hand in her own. She moved closer so that she was pressed against him now, bringing his hand up to her face.

Nuzzling against it, she smiled, feeling his gaze watching her. "I know there are parts of you, that you don't want me to see." she paused, intertwining her fingers with his own. They were so much larger than hers, his claws longer than her own fingernails. "But what you hide, I can still see, even if you don't want me to." she kissed his palm, closing her eyes as a single tear rolled down her cheek, "This is a part of you, and I still care for you, all of you."

Suddenly she felt him wrap his strong arms around her and quickly pull her into his lap. He hugged her from behind, his legs around her, his left arm and hand across her shoulder blade and the right hand atop her head. She felt him bury his face against the nape of her neck, breathing in her scent. It made her cheeks flush and she reached up with her left arm to touch his face, wanting to be closer to him.

Sesshoumaru pulled back as she touched his cheek, nuzzled against her dark hair, and kissed the back of her head softly. He pulled her further into him, his whole body practically encasing her and holding her tightly. He didn't understand how she could see through him so easily, but realized truthfully she had always been this way. But perhaps, as she had grown, she had learned even more as well as the confidence to speak her mind. No matter how much he tried to pull away from her, she stubbornly pulled him back.

"Rin," he breathed her name as he felt her relax into him. He leaned further back against the smooth rocks, allowing her to recline onto his body. She nestled into him, not saying anything but he could hear and feel her heart beating, her body against him like this. It was as close as they had ever been, because this time he wore no armor. He hugged onto her, running his hand and claws through her hair, caressing her gently, his sweet, kind Rin.

As the fire flicked around, casting shadows on their clothed bodies entangled together, Rin felt herself becoming drowsier, as she had when he carried her through the clouds earlier that night. She closed her eyes, laying against him and smiling as she listened to his heart beating, the sound of his breathing and took in the musky scent of him. It comforted her and made her feel safe being this close to him, as she never had before. She could feel the muscular shape of his body beneath his clothing without the armor. The touch of him petting her hair felt so nice and she whispered his name as she felt herself drifting away, "Lord Sesshoumaru."

When he heard his name escape her lips, Sesshoumaru could sense she was falling asleep by the slowing of her heart rate and breathing. He kissed the top of her head, hoping she would rest peacefully after what she had gone through tonight. He didn't want to feel guilt though, not after how she had responded to him. He had realized tonight that she truly accepted him, fully, every part of him, even if she might sometimes be afraid. He wouldn't let his demon blood come between them.

Sesshoumaru then thought of the empire he was destined to build, to surpass his father in power and greatness. The Great Demon Lord of the Western Lands was the title he had earned through birthright, but something had changed him. He wasn't sure when, but it had. And he even questioned if this had truly been his desire all along, or perhaps he was just searching for a belonging to which he didn't know. He glanced down at her, her small hand on his chest, her sleeping body rising and falling against him as he breathed in and out. Placing a hand over hers, he held onto it, vowing to himself to watch over her always.

The image of his father from the night he last saw came to him suddenly, but it didn't anger him like it used to. He felt he understood now what his father meant, or perhaps he had for some time but never admitted it. At the very least, he had accepted it, even though he may not ever sayr it out loud. It was this human girl, this woman, that he had grown to care for over many years, to keep her safe and giving into the want of being near her, even if it meant losing everything. And then his golden eyes widened as the words he denied so long ago, washed over him, full of truth and a promise.

"Tell me Sesshoumaru, have you someone to protect?"

I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I hope to see you again soon. Much love. 3