~~Ryan's Perspective~~
I've only ever felt true fear once in my life. Faith was was around 5, and she fell off her bike while I tired teaching her. She tipped, fell and skinned her knees, leaving blood smears all over our parent's pristine white marble driveway. I remember feeling so helpless that my stomach ached with anger. I was angry at myself, but I was also angry at my dad. He bought her that bike, and in essence, he wasn't to blame for it, but at that time, all of my wrath was aimed at him. I was irrational. I flew off the handle big fucking time and I swung at him, jacked him straight in the jaw. I wish I could say that I'd want to go back to that same boy. To Ryan Carter.
The possessive older foster brother who jacked off to the thought of his under aged sister behind his closed door, but I can't. Never. Time hasn't just aged us. It tore us apart too.
I heard a knock on my front door and I picked up my gun from the coffee table, shoving it into the back of my jeans. "You gonna be this on edge for the rest of the week or..." Gypsy teases, nudging his head up at me from the sofa. "Fucking gangster..." Gypsy chuckled.
"You gonna go stay at your house this week or..." I snap back at him with a snarl, opening my front door wide before bringing my eyes to the person standing on the other side.
"Son..." I stepped aside, waving my dad into my house. The first fucking thing I bought when I left home.
Situated right near the ocean, with a dock, floor to ceiling windows shaped in a diamond in the sitting room, and all log-style furnishings. I never wanted to be in the center of LA, in fact, I fucking hate LA. Near the ocean is where I needed to be, and this way I get my boat, I get nature, and I get peace and fucking quiet when I don't have Gypsy or Wicked hanging off my fucking arm. Wicked is harder to get rid of since he lives with me.
Kicking the door closed as he enters, I bypass the granite counter and varnished bar stools, taking the 2 steps down into the lounge. Mountains spill out the sides, small islands jacked all over the ocean in the distance.
"Everything all good?" I asked, as dad takes a seat on one of the chairs, resting his arms on his legs.
"Yes, well..." He pops off the button to his suit jacket and leans back. "We may have a slight problem..." Dad said.
"Nope..." I said, pointing a finger at him with one hand while reaching for my cigarettes with the other. I fall down onto the single black leather chairs, blazing the end of my cancer stick. "The deal was that there would be no fucking issues..." I said with a hardened tone.
Dad looks at me with tired eyes. Wrinkles line around the edges as a dark five o'clock shadow scatters over his jawline. "I know, son, but we've hit a brick wall with one of the dealers..." I sink back, blowing out a cloud of smoke.
Gypsy is always quiet when my dad visits. He doesn't like him. Not sure why. Actually, none of my brothers like him, and that should be a red flag but I bring it down to the fact that Dad isn't for everyone. He's a cunt and dry one at that.
"One of my main sellers is having trouble moving shipments over the border..." Dad tried to explain.
"Well, fuck, Gypsy here is quite comfortable using his pretty little fucking face to trick his way through border control..." I said with a smirk.
Dad shuffles uncomfortable, giving me a tense, brief smile. "I get that, but just give me 2 days... I'll have it..." I grind my teeth, slightly agitated. This isn't the first job he has delivered for us, in fact- "Son, you know I've got this... I'm a powerful man... The shipment will be here in 2 days from now, ready for you all... We've been doing this for what, 4 years now, and I haven't let you down once..." He explained.
I grunt, stubbing out my cigarette in the gold plated ashtray that was once a cap from my bike wheel. "2 days, Pops..." I said with a sigh.
"Done..." My dad said with a nod of his head.
I watch his eyes and how they shift around the room nervously, I don't know if he has always been like that or if this is new, and I sneak a look at Gypsy quickly to find him already watching me. His face is frozen, expressionless.
"You and mom?" I test the waters that I want to fucking dive into. "You good?" I asked.
He shakes his head, laughing. "Ask me what you really want to know..." He said.
I have 2 options right now.
I can pretend that I don't assume he has a little girlfriend or I can show him what I'm holding, with the knowledge that I have a whole new fucking deck hiding under my ass.
"You're around that age to find someone half your age is all..." My fingers flex.
He chuckles. I can almost feel Gypsy's eyes boring into mine. He doesn't know shit about what I'm talking about, he just assumes that I'm catching on to who my old man really is.
"I may have..." Dad says the words I already know.
"That poor little bitch... She hot?" I joke kicking my leg out in front of me. "Let her know that when she's over being on daddy's washed-up cock, she can come drop to her knees for her master..." Dad visibly stills, and it's the most emotion I've seen in him since, well, forever. He is an emotionless man in general, hardly shifting energy to accommodate anyone.
He releases his tension with an easy smile on his lips. "Mmhmm, sure..." I have to admit that I like seeing my dad squirm. He's often the big dog in the room that he forgets sometimes that there are much bigger dogs out there and as of 4 years ago, his son is one of them.
"Tell me about her, pop... She blonde, brunette? Does she have a tight little cunt or big round boobs?" I asked watching his carefully.
"All of the above..." His expression is kind of guarded, and I'm not even sure if he's just saying what he needs to so as to shut me up. It's clear he isn't comfortable with this line of questioning.
I can push, but I don't fucking care where my father sticks his cock. Just so long as he keeps to his end of the bargain.
Standing up, he swipes his lips with his thumb. "See you in 2 days..." Just as he reaches the door, his fingers flex around the handle as he looks at me over his shoulder. "Oh and boy? Wanna keep an eye on your sister?" He asked, I sort of saw this coming.
"I had every plan to do that, but not for the reasons that you, as her dad, are probably hoping for..." He turns this time facing me while leaning against the door frame.
"Elaborate..." He said his tone turning hard. This is unusual for him.
"Well, you're hoping I keep her safe, you know, away from all the bad little boys in college..." I say pushing up from my chair. "Which given that's definitely something I would have done in the past, but now I don't give a fuck..." I smirk, hitting the steps and going straight for the fridge. "I'll watch her, though... Only now I'll be watching her with my hand around my cock..." I throw him a wink, wrapping my hands around my cold beer and slamming my stainless-steel fridge closed.
Dad shakes his head. "You're really going to go with the whole incest thing? I mean, I always knew you had a thing for her, but this?" He said his tone disapproving.
I swallow my cold beer while swiping my mouth with the back of my hand. "Chill, old man... I'm not about to dip my finger into the honey pot... But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy the occasional whack off to the image of Faith... I mean, let's face it, she has a tight little body on her, and the kind of lips that makes a guy go hard just thinking about them wrapped around their cock..." Dad cringes a little, which really only just gives me further incentive to keep going.
"She's your sister..." He said his eyes hard in a glare. Almost a possessive like glare. I know what that looks like since I've always had the same look when it came to her.
"No, she WAS and is a fucking stray that you and Mom decided to pick up one day because you had too much fucking money and too many reasons to continue avoiding each other... Faith is not my biological sister, not that that would have stopped me either though..." I'm just saying stuff to get under his skin and I have to admit, it's working pretty well.
Dad fidgets with his shirt and looks around like he's trying to tell me to behave myself but he's scared at the same time. "You grew up with her..." My dad said again is an almost possessive tone.
"Jesus... I told you already... I'm not gonna fuck Faith, okay? I don't give a shit about her... If I needed fresh cunt, I'd walk into the clubhouse any old day and take my fucking pick..." I said finally dismissing the thought.
"It's a weird thing to joke about, that's all..." Dad said his tone now disapproving.
Ignoring him, I'm hoping he disappears so I can get back to bullshit with Gypsy. The door closes behind me just as Gypsy opens his mouth.
"Hate that fucker..." Gypsy said through grit teeth.
Chuckling, I sit back in my chair and shake my head. "You're paranoid..." My phone dings in my pocket and I reach inside, unlocking a new message.
"She's annoying. Why do I have to watch her constantly?" ~Ellie
"Because I fucking said so." ~Psycho
I toss my phone onto the coffee table. "There's something up with dad and his shipments..." I said.
Gypsy whistles as I scoop up my keys for my bike. "Damn, might want to also check this out, brother..." I look down at his phone that he's passing to me before going back to him.
"What?" I snatch it off him and look down at the phone.
It's a girl, naked and bound, back facing the camera. Sexiest fucking body I've ever seen, with curves that make my fingers itch, reaching to touch, and a soft ass that dips where it's supposed to. She's got the kind of hair that makes a man want to grab a hold of and ride her into his next orgasm or 2. Her skin is smooth, and there isn't a blemish on it that I can see. But then again, a blemish or 2 wouldn't have turned me off. I not fucking shallow like that.
My eyes are focused on her gorgeous ass, and I feel my cock harden as I think about what I would do to a woman like that if she were right in front of me now. I'd kind of like her bound and gagged, but not long term. No, I'd want her arms and legs free so that she can wrap them around me while I pound into her. Maybe I'll take her from the ass first before sinking myself into her pussy, balls deep and hungry for her cunt. I long to see her front view. I'm sure that her breasts will be just as incredible as her ass, but the image doesn't allow for many more visuals.
I'm still staring at her body, imagining all the nasty things I'd make her do to me when Gypsy clears his throat. "When you're done mind fucking her, you should press play... It's a video..." Only then do I notice that Gypsy's right. It's a video, and that being the case, I'm about to watch some random woman get fucked by a man, possibly more than one. Not really my kind of thing. But this video has been sent to me for a reason, and I know that I need to see what's on it.
I push play.
The man recording walks out from behind the phone, wearing a dark suit, gloves, and a mask. My breathing halts when I see the K Diamond emblem glistening on his suit. Everyone knows who the fuck K Diamond is. He's notoriously known in the human trafficking sector of underground scum. The name itself came from his symbol.
"That's your phone, man..." Gypsy whispers, pointing down at it.
I clench my jaw. 'What the fuck does he want...' We all know how he works.
He chooses his tormentors who he knows can afford it, and taunts them with something, or someone, that he knows we will want or need, offering them at a price. If we ignore it, he kills that person, which to be honest, I don't know who this bitch is in the video, so I couldn't give a fuck, but then he puts a hit on your mom, grandmother, fucking sister, aunt, any other female that you are close to. It's how he chooses his victims. No one knows why he does what he does, or even how. He hides his identity behind a mask and cameras.
If you purchase your bait that he sends you, they come with the K Diamond brand burned into their flesh as a reminder. He's a serial killer, rapist, and fucking all-around gross motherfucker.
His body moves in front of the girl, as she twists and turns her wrists together in the rope binds. A tie is tied to the back of her head, but other than that, her skin is clean. She doesn't seem as dirty as the other girls I have seen through his videos. And for once, I'm annoyed that I can't see the victims face.
'There's a reason why this man has chosen me, but there's never been a case where he specifically chose a girl for his victim...' I thought internally.
Kneeling in front of her, I watch as his mask comes into full view over her frail shoulder.
"This one is different..." The voice that comes through is over a recorder. "Are you ready to gamble on a diamond?" Before I can answer, or take in anything that's in the video for a clue, the video cuts out and I'm looking back at a blank screen.
"How have you managed to fall on his radar?" Gypsy asked, puffing on his joint like his life depended on it.
My fingers are flying over my phone in a rush and when I put it to my ear, Austin's voice cuts through.
"It's Tuesday, you know I'm busy on Tuesdays... What is it?" Austin asked.
"I need your smart ass brain now..." I said my voice sounds way too serious even to my own ears.
I hang up and we move outside of my house, swinging my leg over my bike while shoving on my helmet.
"You going to buy that chick? Play into The Riddler's game?" Gypsy asked.
"No idea..." I said as we both started our bikes and drove off.
~~Clubhouse~~
Pulling into the clubhouse, I kick out the stand to my bike just as Lion strolls out with a cigar hanging out of his smirking mouth.
"What's so funny, fucker?" I snapped.
He removed his cigar, shaking his head. "How'd it go with your visitor?" Lion asked.
My mouth slams closed, just as Bonnie, Lion's wife, strolls out of the clubhouse. "Not fucking good..." I growled.
"Wanna call church?" Lion asked and I nod my head.
"Yeah..." I said.
"What's this I hear about a pretty girl here a few nights ago on your account?" Bonnie teases, hands on her wide hips. Bonnie is around the same age as Lion, sitting in their mid 50's. She has long brown hair, brown, beady eyes, and a whole lot of don't-fuck-with-me going on.
"You're interested in her?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
Bonnie gives me a smile that clearly says, 'You're messing with the wrong fucking broad'. "Me? No, I'm good, honey... But word on the street is that her big brother is the one who's interested in her... Maybe a little too interested, if you catch my drift..." Bonnie teases.
I flip her off as we make our way into the house.
Once I'm inside, I follow Lion into the main boardroom of the house, also known as the lounge room, where we hold what we call church. Cliché as fuck, but since there isn't a hell room equivalent to church, we continue to use it. I take a seat at Lion's right side as the rest of the brothers pile in one at the time.
My eyes find Wicked straight away, a slight grin playing on my mouth as my finger rubs my upper lip. His jaw is set, his eyes dead. Wicked is exactly as his name perceives him, fucking wicked. He's who I choose to bring with me if I need anything done, and likewise him. He takes the seat beside me as Gypsy sits opposite, on the other side of his old man, aka Lion.
The little shit is a complete fucking headcase, driving his old man nuts. He'll never be taken seriously in the club and will only ever be respected because of his lineage to the Wolf Pack. Which makes him a brat.
Justice goes beside Gypsy, our level-headed ex-lawyer who can negotiate his way out of any deal at the fucking drop of a hat.
Beside Wicked is Roo, the Australian in the club, and a 33 year old Thor looking motherfucker. I wanted his name to be Thor when he patched in, but he got Roo instead, because when he fought Gypsy in the ring, Lion said he kicked like a kangaroo. If you've ever seen one of those muscled machines kick, you'd know that's not a fucking compliment.
Opposite of Roo is Billy The Puppet, Yeah, after the very same psychopath from Saw. I mean, need I say more? Billy is fucked in the head and I don't mean that lightly. He likes to play games with his victims, which means I very rarely take him with me on kills. He fucks around, likes to drag out death as long as he can before actually putting the poor fucker out of his misery. Billy has done shit in the past that has even made me cringe and it takes a fuck ton to make me cringe. There isn't one person in this club who's as sadistic and cruel as Billy can be when he gets going. The bloody murders he's committed are enough to make hardened criminals sob like babies, which is why I don't like to think about them. Yeah, it's that fucking bad.
Opposite Billy is Fury. Fury is a Vet, African American man who, for real, you don't want to beef with. He is old school and has no problem ending your life first. Fury is also one of the smartest fuckers I've ever met. Ever. He's a single father to the most annoying brat in the world, but she also the MC princess, so if anyone picks on her, I'll kill them.
Fluffy and Slim are our 2 prospects, for now, but they don't sit in church with us. We leave the prospects with Billy. He has enough fun with them to last a fucking lifetime. Poor little fucks.
Lion's gavel drops and the pounding on the solid piece of wood silences everyone. "Psycho, what the fuck is going with your old man?" Lion asked.
~~Friday Night – Bar - Faith's Perspective~~
It's Friday night, and I usually have John on Saturdays, but I haven't heard from him since Tuesday. I'm thankful that I haven't seen him since then because it was weird. School is beginning to feel more and more like a prison. It's worse here, because I don't have the safety of my mom to fall back on. I'm caged between reality and my nightmare, I can't move. I can't breathe. I'm alone, even though Jenn is always with me.
"Hey you okay?" Jenn asked.
"I need to get out of here, Jenn..." I yell into her ear when she pulls me onto the lounge dance floor.
"What do you mean? We just got here!" Jenn whines.
"I mean out of college... I don't think I'm in the right frame of mind to complete it right now... I already know that I'm failing..." I explained while flexing my fingers in my fists.
Jenn waves me off, grabbing my hand and moving to the front of the house. "Nonsense!" She said as she pulls me through the front door until we're out on the patio. "But I will support you if you were to take a break... I get it... You've been a little bit off lately... I will support whatever it is that you need to do..." My shoulders relax slightly as emotions build in my throat. I love Jenn.
"Thank..." The rumble of bikes coming down the street halt my words. I shake my head and internally roll my eyes. There's no fucking way. "Thank you... I need another drink..." I groaned the last part knowing Ryan is not far from me.
"Another drink?" An unfamiliar voice said behind me, and I shuffle to see who it belongs to. He flashes his pearly white teeth at me, a complete contrast to his black hair. "Name's Jason..." I smile softly, trying not to cringe. I don't know why college boys don't do it for me, and very briefly, I thought this one could. But now, face-to-face, I know that's another fail.
I take the drink from him. "Thanks..." I said with a small smile.
"Faith, Right?" He asked.
"Yup..." I take a sip of the flat beer. 'Gross!' Everything about college is severely overrated. Even somewhat tipsy, it does nothing to fill the void that's aching in my chest.
"Is Ollie inside? I think I'll go find him..." Jenn announces.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, warning bells are going off. I turn instinctively, sensing him before I've even really confirmed his presence. When I see him on his bike, complete with the entourage at his back, I'm not surprised, but I am annoyed, moving toward being completely pissed off. It's just so fucking unfair. He left. He abandoned me and disappeared. And now, he decides to walk back into my life and upend everything. Not that things were going smoothly before he showed up, but that isn't really the point.
He swings his leg off the bike and moves towards me. I freeze, unable to run from him, even though I know that's probably what I should do. Ryan's eyes catch mine and I feel myself shrink back a little as though if I willed it hard enough, I could disappear. Yeah, no fucking luck. I ran out of that the moment he left me 4 years ago. He zeros in on me, completely ignoring Jason. His eyes roam over my body before settling on my face. I can sense Jason looking between us, trying to figure out the dynamic. I'm willing to bet he wouldn't be going to siblings. Not that I can blame him.
"You need to leave... Now..." I growled.
"Oh yeah? Fucking make me..." He says the annoying smirk still on his face,
"You're on my turf, so I figure I have every right to tell you to get out..." He looks at me with an amused smile that's clearly hiding a darker intent.
"Let's get one thing straight, Kitten... Everything in this city is my fucking turf... So be careful because I might kick you out of it... You'll have to go crawling back to Mommy and Daddy and we both know you don't want that..." Ryan said in a taunting tone.
'God, Ryan...' So damn beautiful it aches my soul. When I was a teenager, I thought that ache was butterflies, but now, what I feel isn't butterflies in my belly. "What are you doing here?" I asked through grit teeth, just as his eyes swing to Jason. I steady myself by clutching onto the wooden rail. He winks at Jason.
"Actually, not for you... Where's Ellie?" I try not to let the way he dismisses my encounter with Jason affect me. This is what I always wanted, to not have his attention, so why does it bother me so much anyway.
"She's inside..." I lean against the railing, which puts me right in front of Jason. If I wiggled back just a little further, my ass would hit his crotch. Jason's hand went flying to my hip.
Instantly, Ryan's eyes snap to where they flex. The harsh line around his eye soften as he quickly composes himself. The heat pouring from his body is enough to ignite an angry inferno. Or maybe I'm drunk. Ryan leans down until the tip of his nose touches the side my temple. Jason's grip tenses around my sharp hipbone. I step backward, forgetting that Jason is right there, so obviously, my ass hits the apex of his fucking thighs.
"Ellie's in the house..." I said through grit teeth with a hiss.
"Who is this?" Jason whispers into my ear from behind me. I have to give it to him, he has balls not to be cowering at the presence if Ryan. Any other man most definitely would be.
My eyes lock with Ryan's, the rim of plastic coming to my lips as the stench of stale beer swims up my nose.
"Just my brother..." I hissed.
"Oh shit, man! I thought you were an ex-boyfriend or something... But figured you were a bit too old..." Jason said his hand still gripping my hip.
Ryan's eyes remain on mine, but his words are for Jason. "If only..." Ryan leaves and I finally exhale the breath that I've been hold. Jason reaches for me again but all I want to do is run. I can't breath, being suffocated by this life isn't helping.
I can feel my mind slipping into a dark hole and I don't think I'm going to have the courage to pull myself out of it this time. Everything around me slows as my pulse quickens. I take the few steps needed to get to the front grass. I can vaguely see bikes parked at the front but I don't care about them. I want the safety of my dorm, to be held indoors, in my soft blankets and be safe.
Safe.
Before I can stop myself, I'm running. The wind is whipping through my hair, drying the tears that keep falling down my cheeks.
'My life is fucked... I'm ruined... I wish I could back to all those years ago and stop him from leaving... I wish he cared enough not to have left me in the first place...' Pain tightens its steel fist around the organs of my heart and squeezes.
"Faith!" I hear someone yell out behind me but it's too late, I need out. I need to be away from everything and everyone.
I need silence and a cliff with the bluest water beneath. I wanted to watch the moody waves crash against dark rocks so my soul knows it's not alone.
An arm wraps around my waist and I'm being lifted off the ground. I kick backward, annoyed with the tears. The pain. The weakness.
"Let me go!" I screamed.
"Faith!" He yells again, only this time his voice sounds too familiar. Like bile rising up my throat, his name rings in my head.
John.
I freeze in his arms, dropping to my knees. "I'm sorry... I didn't know it was you... Please... Not again... I'll be good! I promise!" I practically cried curling in on myself, covering my head with my arms. I don't want to be punished. I'm tired, I thought he was Ryan. He's like Ryan. My head is bowed as dark boots come into view. I can faintly hear another bike, but I dismiss it. Those are boots, not loafers.
Before I can stand, Ryan is meeting me face-to-face his eyes searching mine. "What are you doing, Kitten?" I gulp past the rock that's in my throat.
'He can never know...' I internally vowed. "I..." Searching his eyes, the blue depth of them is enough to remind me of the waves I so desperately yearned for just moments ago, his pupils the color of ricks that they would crash against. "Why didn't you take me..." I asked my voice clearly trembling with the thought of him knowing.
"What?" He asked, his tone says he's confused by my words.
'Don't repeat yourself... You're going to regret it... He doesn't care about you anymore... He has made that much clear...' I internally scold myself. "Why did you leave me there?" I find myself asking again as I fought with the tears that wanted to flood my eyes.
"You being there was better for you than being with me... Trust me..." He stands pulling me up with him. Before I can protest, he's directing us back toward the party, signaling to whoever it was that followed him on their bike.
"But that's just it... I don't trust you anymore..." I grumbled.
"Listen..." Ryan turns around, his hand on my throat, and he backs me up against a brick wall. Pressing a leg between mine to pin me there, he tilts his head and studies me. "One I don't give a flying fuck about your trust... All I want is to have you stay the fuck out of trouble and keep your head down... 2? Stop making this about something other than what it is... You are my sister, one I didn't fucking ask for, but I protect anyway... I don't give a fuck who you fuck in your free time, where you stay or how fucking good my hand looks around your throat... Now swings those fucking legs over my bike..." He pushed me back and my hand comes to where his was, massaging it softly.
I can feel the pieces of myself slowly fading away. John took all that I had and replaced it with hurt and pain, and the one person I leaned on for most of my life hates me now.
"I can find my own ride..." I said fighting back the tears that flooded my eyes.
"Kitten! On my bike! Right fucking Now!" He growled.
The air shifts around me and anger slowly boils to the surface. I don't want to make a scene. I never like making one, but he's pissed me off more times than I can count tonight and yeah, my emotions may have been bruised a few minutes ago, enough to not answer him back, but now I'm angry. I spin around and take the 4 steps to when he towers over me. I swing my arm back, fist my hand tightly and punch him right in the jaw. He barely moves but whatever.
"Fuck you Ryan! Fuck you for leaving me and then coming back and thinking you can tell me what the fuck to do like I'm some little puppy that you keep on a leash... You!" I point my finger in his face, which is the exact moment I realized I fucked up.
He snatches my finger in the palm of his hand while his other flies to my throat again and I'm falling backward, my head smacking against the grass. I see double for a few seconds while Ryan has a firm grip on me everywhere.
"Still a fucking brat, huh?" He leans down until the tip of his nose touches my earlobe and only I can hear what he says. "I'm going to say this one time, Kit... You're legal now... I'd watch that fucking tone..." Pushing off me, he stands to his feet, glaring down at me. "The only thing you're riding tonight that isn't me is my bike... Now get the fuck on, and maybe, just maybe, I'll take you back to your dorm tomorrow..." He said his tone taunting.
"I'm not staying at your clubhouse or anywhere specially if you're there, Ryan..." I hissed.
"Bike, Faith... Now!" He growled.
Pushing up from the grass while grumpily pulling twigs from my hair, I scowl at him, ignoring the chuckles around me. "I fucking hate you..." I growled.
"More than I can say about you... I'll be back in a second..." He looks over my shoulder. "She moves, tie her to my bike..." He ordered as he turned away.
My arms latch around my body as I dutifully make my way to the matte black Harley Davidson that's parked to the side. Turning to look over my shoulder, my eyes land on Wicked. Unintentionally, I seek him out anytime he's near. My stomach drops out of my ass when I find him already studying me carefully. Ellie said that he doesn't speak, I wonder what that means and why. I can't help but want to know more about him.
"You know..." The younger one starts to say, I think his name is Gypsy. He grins around his floppy hair. His eyes are gentle, his features too pretty. "Don't get me wrong, seeing Psycho get all worked up over a girl for once is pretty fucking entertaining, but I gotta say..." Gypsy continues to speak.
"Don't say it..." One of the other men mutters. He's darker in skin color, with a shaved head, and hazel eyes.
"You're one hot piece of fucking ass, and if he ain't hitting it, I'm gonna..." Gypsy finally said.
"You're a dumb motherfucker..." The darker skinned man said shaking his head disapprovingly.
"Boy, please, I'd break you in half before I even got started..." I snapped with a hiss causing everyone of them expect Gypsy to start laughing.
"Reow... No wonder Psycho calls her Kitten..." The darker skinned one said.
I growled my eyes coming to his. "Don't call me that... I don't give a damn who you are or what you are, I'll fucking gut you..." I hissed. My eyes narrowed into a glare daring him to try me. I was in no mood to deal with their bullshit.
I was ready to pounce but he held his hands up in surrender. "Sorry..." He said backing up to his bike but smirk never leaving his face. And it seemed everyone found the interaction funny.
After talking with Ellie and Jenn, Ryan is back in front of me. He looked over everyone with a raised eyebrow. Trying to figure out why everyone looked so amused, if you were to ask me. He shakes his head and looked at me.
"On the bike, don't let your legs touch the pipes, and put your arms around me..." Ryan orders.
"No... I said I'm not going with you..." I said closing my eyes facing the ground.
"Now Faith... Don't make me hurt you..." Ryan warns.
I scoffed. "Please do me the favor... I'll finally be rid of all this..." I mumbled.
"What did you say?" Ryan growled.
"I said!" I looked back up opening my eyes to scream at him. But then I saw his eyes. They were furious. Clearly he heard me. He ground his teeth as he stepped closer.
"Bike... Now..." Ryan growled.
I wanted to stand my ground. Wanted to continue to argue but his damn eyes and the hurt that flashed through them stopped me in my tracks. I sighed and turned from him and got on the bike. Suddenly I had no more fight left in me.
Standing it up, the vibration of the angry engine rumbles against my intimate area and I quickly squeeze my legs closed, which only means they tighten around Ryan. He turns over his shoulder, enough for me to see a smirk on the corner of his mouth and one dimple pop. Revving the engine, I wrap my arms around his torso as he guides us out of the driveway. My arms tighten around his belly as he speeds up but honestly not because of how fast we're going. I'm actually loving that part of it. My arms tighten around Ryan because I just want to hold him, I want a reason to hold him, and this provides the perfect excuse. I'm aware that this will hurt, just the emotional pain of being so close to him, knowing he's not the Ryan I grew up with. That's going to sting, but at the moment, I don't care. I just want to be near him and breathe him in.
"If you hold onto me any tighter, I'm gonna break in half..." Ryan teases.
"I thought you were the big bad vice-president of the Wolf Pack? Don't tell me I could bring you down with one hug?" I teased back with a purr.
He's quiet for a long time. And I just assume he's done talking or he's just gonna ignore me or something. But when I least expect it, he speaks.
"You'd be surprised..." His voice is low, and I'm not even sure if I was meant to hear it, but I did. And it baffled me.
'What does that mean? What does any of it mean?' I questioned internally. Since I know I'm probably never going to get the answers, I try and push it out of my head and enjoy the ride.
~~Clubhouse~~
It's about a 30 minute drive out before he's pulling into the clubhouse, the gates sliding open and people spilling out of the front doors. It's Friday night, and it's rather early, so the number of people who are partying is not surprising at all, although it shatters my hope to sink into warm sheets and let sleep take hold. The bikes cut out and everyone climbs off. I follow, my legs turning to jelly as soon as they're back on the ground.
"Can I just go to bed?" Ryan ignores me, turning his back to head into the main house. I feel a thousand eyes on me, and I don't want any of them. I know this is his area and I don't want to be annoying to him by following him everywhere. I also don't want him to feel like he has to look after me, so once he has disappeared into the house, I look around carefully trying to figure out a way to escape.
I see a mixture of people that are old and young, some middle age. More men than women, some big and some skinny, some muscled, some average. So far though, I haven't found an easy way out that wouldn't have someone getting Ryan to haul my ass right back.
"You're wondering why he left you here unarmed?" A voice said from behind me and my eyes drift close to catch my breath. That is a really nice voice. Soft and smooth like velvet. It wraps around my body like silk. Turning around to face the owner, I'm surprised when I see Wicked leaning against his clean white Harley, his arms and legs crossed.
"Somewhat I guess..." I said.
Wicked doesn't flinch, his eyes staying on mine. It's unnerving how he can do that. Say a lot by saying nothing at all. "Ryan doesn't let anyone ride bitch on his bike... You came in like that... No one will so much as breathe near you now... He knows he doesn't have to worry..." Wicked explained.
"And you?" I find myself asking, and then I want to punch myself for saying it out loud. "Will you?" I've always been one that would prefer to dance with danger than walk with the mundane.
"Guess that will be up to Ryan..." He pushes off his bike and walks past me.
Before he makes it any farther away I call out to him. "Wicked? You called him Ryan, not Psycho?" His shoulder tense before he relaxes and carries on to the house. I still don't know what I'm doing standing here but that conversation with Wicked was strange. 'Every other person here calls Ryan, Psycho... Except Wicked... Weird... Or maybe not...' I sighed and make my way toward the side of the house, finding a little path that leads to the back.
"Hey!" Someone calls from the dark corner, skipping toward me while shoving what was probably a joint into her back pocket. "Are you Psycho's sister?" She asked.
"Ah, Yes?" I say unsure if I should admit that.
"I'm Aubrey, but people call me Goldie, after my mom... I'm Fury's daughter!" She said a bit too cheerily as she hugs me.
I don't know who Fury is, but I nod, and hug her back awkwardly. "Cool..." I said trying to use my best smile.
"Oh my god... I've always wanted a big sister... This is awesome to have someone else around my age, since all the women here are old as Fuuuucccckkkk!" She said.
"Hey! You little fucking shit!" Someone else calls out, rounding the back of the house with one hand on her hip. "One day, I'ma whip your ass..." The woman said.
"Bitch, Please... You love me and you know it..." Goldie gestures to me. "It's Psycho's sister! Look how pretty she is!" She gushed.
"Ignore Goldie... She's so used to being a brat that she forgets she's 17..." The woman said with a roll of her eyes.
Goldie flips her off. "Lion is clearly not hitting you right, or are you going through menopause..." Goldie said in a taunting like tone.
The women ignores her, keeping her eyes on mine. Her skin is beautiful for her age, her eyes tell a story of how much they're seen. "I'm Bonnie, Lion's wife..." Bonnie said.
"Hi..." I said crossing my arms in front of myself. Lion is scary. I can't imagine this woman putting up with him.
Goldie hooks her arm in mine. "Oh this is awesome! Leah is going to be so pissed when she sees you! I mean, I get that you're his sister, but it's only foster right, and you're insanely hot! Leah is going to so hate you!" Goldie practically gushes.
I don't know who she's talking about and I'm not sure I want to know. I just want a bed and food. Food will be good. Where the fuck is Ryan? We climb the stairs that lead to the back porch and sun room. Spinning back around, I freeze when I see Ryan, Wicked, Lion and Gypsy. They're all seated around a small table with drinks in their hands with Ryan looking tense. A blonde girl is on his lap, a joint between his fingers.
There are a couple of girls in here actually, all dressed different to Goldie and Bonnie. More exposed. I look straight at the blonde hussy on Ryan's lap, annoyed that she's there at all, annoyed that Ryan is being a dick about everything. I'm not really in the mood to play nice.
"Oh this is going to be great! Just saying, after you throw the first punch, I'm going in!" Goldie said with a giggle as she hugs my arm tight.
I want to squeeze her and say I'm not fighting anyone. The blonde flicks her fake long hair over her shoulder, her brown eyes coming to mine.
"Aw, Is this your sister?" Her smile seems sincere and for a split second, I wonder what Goldie was talking about. Until Goldie opens her mouth.
Goldie grins at, who I'm guessing is Leah. "Foster..." I watched as her smile switched into a scowl and she looked at me with new found competition.
"Foster huh? Is that so?" Her smile has the steely edge of a blade. Her eyes cut at me, but I refuse to back down. I've never been scared of any of Ryan's skanks. I'm not about to start now.
"It would seem so... You must be his latest bed warm... It's so Nice to meet you..." I said a bit calmer then I actually feel. Her eyes go wide at the insult, but no one reacts to it. Not even Ryan tired to correct me and I'm pretty sure Leah didn't miss that either.
She's about to say something when Bonnie interrupts. Bonnie flicks her fingers at the 3 of them. "Get out of here... Go rub on someone out there..." Bonnie demanded.
Leah runs her finger down Ryan's face. "Aw, I can stay, right, baby?" Ryan's eyes are on mine, his jaw as tight as my fist. He hates the word baby. I've always known that, so I can't help the smirk that creeps on my mouth. The girl is nothing but a dick warmer or she would know Ryan hates that word.
His eyes narrow when he catches my smirk. Licking his lips, he bares his teeth at her and chews on her neck. "B is right, babe... Go ahead, I'll grab you when I'm going to bed..." I fight the obvious distaste that leaves in my mouth as Bonnie takes my hand and gestures to they empty seat beside Wicked, leaving Ryan's smug, scowl ridden face opposite mine.
'Bastard...' I growled internally.
"Now are you a vodka, gin or rum girl?" Bonnie asked.
"She's a water girl..." I raise my eye brows at Ryan in challenge, feeling the heat of Wicked beside me.
"Actually, I'm more of a whiskey girl now... Ryan forgets that he doesn't know shit about me anymore..." I purred as I leaned more towards Wicked.
"Girl's gonna drive you mad, son..." Lion said with a chuckle.
As Bonnie sets the glass in front of me, I take in the room we're in. Looks like a second kitchen area, more private than the rest of the house. The paint is old, furnishings look to be a hundred years old, but the photos hanging in the frames all over the walls catch my attention more than anything else.
I take a sip of the whiskey, relishing in the burn it ignites over my lips. A photo catches my eyes behind Ryan as I run my tongue over my lips to suck the residue.
"It's good, thank you, Bonnie..." I said with a small smile.
"Are you boys going to sit in here all night or are you gonna go tend to your guests?" Bonnie asked as Goldie takes a seat on the other side of me. I can feel the heat of both Wicked and Ryan's stare on me. They're both different, but one. A gang on their own.
It's weird to witness, because the last time I saw Ryan, the only people I could see him having that kind of bond with was Owen and Austin.
Wicked leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. I turn to face him, his stone eyes on mine before moving to Ryan.
Ryan stands from the table. "I'll be back in the morning... Faith, come on..." Ryan practically demands.
"You're not having her sleep here are you? I mean, I'll take her to my house if that's what you're planning... Those beds are nasty..." Goldie says with disgusted face.
"Come on..." Ryan growled.
"Wait!" Goldie stops me with a hand on mine. "What's your number?" She asked.
"Fucking hell... Really?" Ryan groans.
"And me too! I want it!" Bonnie bounces over.
"I've not even surprised... Really, you're lucky Swifty isn't here either, or she'd be grabbing her number too..." The darker skin man mumbled.
"Hurry up..." Ryan grumbled.
Goldie ignores his moody behavior as I blabber off my cell number to them both. " Thank you for the whiskey, Bonnie..." Bonnie smiles at me, taking a seat on Lion's lap. Lion seems to still be studying me, his head tilted to the side.
I move away from my chair turning to wave goodbye to Wicked. Ryan is already exiting the room but Wicked? Wicked is glaring at me like he's just seen a ghost. The room is empty, quiet aside from the music playing through the house. Something is moving inside his brain and I'm not sure I want to know what that is.
I smile at Wicked softly before running to catch up to Ryan.
Once we move through the sea of people and hit the front door, I jog down the steps to reach for him. "Where are we going?" I asked a bit out of breath. I for sure thought he was leaving me here so he could go fuck Leah.
He flinches away from me, staying quiet until we're far enough away from people and near his bike. "Taking you back to your dorm... Changed my mine..." Ryan said.
"Why the sudden change?" I asked.
Now that it's just us with no spectators, it seems anything we both say to each other is real.
Raw.
"I'm going to ask you once..." My blood turns cold a he takes a step closer. I take a step back and shake my head silently telling him 'don't'. Don't ask me anything, because I will have to lie. "Has someone hurt you?" My mouth slams closed, my jaw locked tight. I stay focused on the small patch that's sewn into his leather that reads: Vice President. Fingers wrap around my chin, his chest to mine as he brings my head up so my eyes come to his. His eyebrows knit together. "Tell me Faith..." I don't say a word, the syllables sticking to my throat and unwilling to come out. I bite down on the inside of my cheek. "If anyone has hurt you while I've been away, I'll fucking kill them and that's not a threat... That's god damn promise..." He growls. My legs wobble beneath my weight, my restraint pulling against me. I want to tell him everything.
I open my mouth, but just as words are about to slip out, Leah interrupts. "You're not staying?" She whines and I flinch away from Ryan, stepping far enough away so they can talk. I find myself near Wicked's bike.
'I can't believe I was going to tell him!' I internally scolded myself while closing my eyes tight.
Ryan narrows his eyes at me as they fall to the bike I'm near, standing close like it's a lifeline. "Nah, you'll be fine for tonight..." Ryan said dismissing Leah.
"But..." Leah whines.
"Leave, Leah..." Ryan growls.
Leah's eyes fly between Ryan and me, and I see the images flash over her eyes without her even displaying them. We've gotten that all our life, people assuming there's something more to Ryan and me than what there is.
"Fine... Call me?" Leah asked.
"Never..." Ryan said bluntly and then turns back to me and points to his bike. "Get on..." Sighing, I swing my leg over the back and press myself against his back. I couldn't help myself, I looked towards Leah and smirked as I wrapped my arms tighter around him. She looked ready to explode before Ryan's bike started up and we were pulling away from her.
~~Campus - Outside My Dorm~~
30 Minutes later, we're pulling up to the campus, the bike echoing through the empty streets as he comes up to the dorms. The air is quiet, with just him and I standing so close. So intimate.
"I couldn't bring you with me... There's a fucking lot you don't know, Kitten... I couldn't have you around me... I couldn't take you... I knew you'd be safe at home..." His voice is low, soft. As if he didn't want to say the words. But knew he needed to give me something. My heart snaps in my chest.
"Oh how uncanny..." I whisper, fighting the tears that are battling to burst down my cheeks. If I cry, I know it will be all over and he'll fight me until I tell him what I'm hiding. "You're not the only one with secrets, Ryan..." I whispered pushing off his bike and walking towards the stairs.
"What's that supposed to mean, Faith?" I don't miss the bite in his tone. "See, when you say shit like that, it makes me want to kill people... Do you understand my problem here?" He growled as he got off his bike to come towards me.
"You're too pretty for jail..." I said trying to push away the sound of concern he had in his voice.
"No I'll never get caught..." His eyes fall to my lips when my tongue slides over them.
I hand him the helmet, and my heart explodes when his hand comes to mine. He could have grabbed it anywhere else, but he chose the exact area where my hand was to take it. My teeth sink into the inside of my cheek, tasting blood. I need to distract myself from doing something like expose the effect Ryan has on me.
"Night Rye..." I pulled my hand away from his first, sliding out beneath it while catching one his heavy rings. His eyes stay on mine.
"Night, Kitten..." He says lowly.
I quickly make my way up to the dorms, fighting the urge to turn back around and do something stupid like ask him to take me anywhere but here, but I have to remember that he's not the same boy. At times, I see the old Ryan but then I remember where we are now, how our lives are so different, how even when we were kids, he never looked at me like anything other than a fucking nuisance.
Once I'm safe and back in my dorm, I hear his bike start and pull away. I go to sleep that night wishing that I was never born in the first place.
~~Next Morning~~
I wake up the next morning with the memories of last night flashing inside my head and my phone ringing on the ground. I blindly reach for it, quickly swiping it to answer.
"Hello?" I saying groggily.
"Oh thank god! You're Alive! Tell me Everything!" I hear Jenn's voice on the other end.
"I don't know... We went back to the clubhouse and he brought me back to the dorm... What happened to you last night?" I asked trying to get away from the memories of the night before.
Jenn exhales. "Ollie and I had a fight.." She said.
"You don't say..." I roll my eyes, reaching for the curtain and ripping it open. The only way I'm going to get out of bed this morning is if the sun beams through my windows. "Why'd you fight?" I asked.
"He just got really drunk and started going off on everyone, so I tried to stop him and well, in short I shouldn't have..." She explained.
Sighing, I massage my temples and swing my legs over my bed. "Are you okay?" I asked.
"Always! Hey, are you working tonight?" She asked.
"It's Saturday, you know I always do..." For years now, Jenn has been under the impression that I work from home for my parents. She's bought it. I made up a whole bunch of shit saying that I work for the company, trading numbers for work experience. I wish that was what I really was doing.
She sighs through the phone. "Well, promise me lunch tomorrow so we can talk properly..." She said.
"Come back to bed!" I hear Ollie in the background.
"Jenn!" I said with a scolding giggle.
"Gotta go, bye!" I laugh, shaking my head. She's hopeless.
5 Unread Text Messages.
I open my messages and go to the most recent one.
"The conversation from last night isn't over..." ~Ryan
I close his message and go to the next.
"It's Goldie! This is my number. PS Leah was super pissed when you and Psycho left." ~Goldie
And the next one.
"Save my number sweetie. It's Bonnie." ~Bonnie
And a message from Jenn.
"You and Ryan have the longest sexual buildup in history. I think when you both finally fuck, he's going to accidentally kill you." ~Jenn
My eyes roll to the back of my head. Jenn has always shipped me and Ryan together.
Flicking open the final message, it's another unknown number.
"Yeah, I would..." ~Unknown
I paused, my fingers flexing over the keypad on my screen. Ignoring the other messages, out of impulse I reply back to the unknown number.
"Who's this?" ~Faith
Working back through the previous messages. Flipping off Jenn with an emoji, saying thank you to Bonnie, sending laughing faces to Goldie and then Finally I'm here on Ryan's message. My heart pounds in my chest.
Don't.
Tossing my phone on my bed, I move through my room, gathering everything I need for a shower. After my shower, I reach for my phone again and see 3 new texts.
I open Ryan's first, since he scares me most.
"Be there in 3 Minutes..." ~Ryan
"Fuck..." I groaned. I make my bed quickly while combing my hair. I finally go to open the next message, but there's a loud bang on my door. I sigh as I pushed off my bed and walked over towards the door. Squeezing the handle, I swing it open to Ryan and Wicked.
"Really You shouldn't have..." I said in a sarcastic tone, batting my eyelashes. He moves me out of the way as they both enter kicking the door closed. "Please, come on in..." I said rolling my eyes.
"Mom get you this?" Ryan gestures around the room. "She really went all out on you, didn't she?" I squeeze my phone in my hand, my eyes flying to the photo of me, Ryan, Owen and Austin out on the boat when we were kids.
"Sure did... Guess that's what happens when 1 kid leaves the other behind..." I said crossing my arms over my chest.
Wicked takes a seat on the chair tucked under my desk, as quiet as ever. His silence isn't uncomfortable. It's easy. His presence, on the other hand, is intense. Ryan sits on my bed.
"What are you doing tonight? Bonnie and Goldie want you to come to the hog-out..." Ryan asked.
I peer down at my phone, knowing that the unknown number must have replied, only when I read the text that's on my phone, my eyes fly to Wicked.
"You're staring at him..." ~Unknown
'How did Wicked get my number and does Ryan know?' I internally questioned as I narrowed my eyes at Wicked.
"Ah, I can't... I have work... What's a hog-out?" I asked.
"Work? Since the fuck when do our parents let you work? It's a BBQ, Faith..." Ryan says with a raised eyebrow and a hardened tone.
"She's lying..." Wicked said, his eyes on mine.
"Am not... Every Saturday, I work for our parents... What?" I shuffle uncomfortably. It's not ideal having them in my space, especially when I'm trying to contain the biggest secret I've ever held, and Wicked is too smart. Shit. Am I already showing my cards? I square my shoulders. "I run numbers for them and in return, they're giving me all of this..." I explained with a shrug of my shoulders.
Ryan's eyes narrow as he swipes his hand over his lips. His hair is messy, his eyes dark. "Makes no sense, Kitten... You have a trust account... You don't need to work for all of this..." Ryan breaks down my lies effortlessly.
'Fuck!' I shrug, falling onto my soft mattress. "Doesn't have to make sense for it to be true..." I said shrugging my shoulders while avoiding his eyes.
"What time do you finish? I need to put one of the brothers on you..." He stands back to his feet.
"What?! What do you mean you need to put one of them on me?" I practically shriek.
"It means I need to make sure someone knows where you are at all times..." Ryan said.
"Why?! Ryan, I just started a new college, you haven't been a part of my life in forever and now suddenly you're all over me like a rash!" I snapped.
He laughs, but the chilling sound is like fire is being ignited down my spine. His legs hit my bed, his hands around my thighs, pulling me down while pinning my hands above my head with his. I bite the inside of my cheek to stop from flinching and wincing when his hand wraps around my wrists.
"Ryan..." I urged, my eyes flashing to Wicked. "Really..." I said with a raised eyebrow.
He turns to look over his shoulder to see Wicked. "Oh, what? Him? You don't have to worry about Wicked..." I clench my teeth shut. "I'm not all over you, Faith, I'm trying to make sure that you don't fucking die... And that's not because I give a fuck about your existence, that because I don't want to turn mom into an even worse alcoholic than what she already is..." Ryan said.
"Oh really? Then what was that speech about last night when you were all 'Who hurt you, Faith... I would go to jai'..." His hand is at my throat, his fingers flexing to cut off my rant.
He leans down, his mouth on my ear. "Say the next words and see what fucking happens..." He whispered wit grit teeth.
I lean up, my nose touching his, my eyes crossing from proximity. "You..." His tongue slides across my lips and my insides solidify, either from shock or sheer emotion. Probably a combination of both. I have to concentrate really hard to keep my eyes from roll back in my head because fucking hell that felt amazing.
I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with what he did or how he did it. It's just the mere fact its him. His presence is over whelming, and despite my best efforts, I kind of want him to do it again. I want to push the boundaries even further, but at the same time, I'm scared too. But I can't let him see that. I refuse to.
"Don't be a fucking asshole..." I said.
"But that's exactly what I am... Though in this case, it's justified... You're the one who started this with your smart mouth... You should know you're messing with the wrong person..." He said.
I try to push him off me just to prove that I don't want him anywhere near me, when the truth is, in fact, the exact opposite. "And you should know, I bite..." I said snapping my teeth at him.
Ryan chuckles, pushing up from the bed. "Since I can't beat you and then fuck you, in that order, I'll just have to lick you every time you want to open that fucking mouth of yours... Slim will be on your tail... So don't do anything fucking stupid..." He said, heading for the exit.
When he opens the door, my eyes find Wicked. For a second, it's just he and I. He stands, towering over my small frame.
"You're lying... He knows it, but thinks he doesn't care right now, but Faith, when he finds out whatever it is that you're hiding, it's going to be catastrophic, so do me a favor..." He paused. Peering up at him from under my lashes. "Don't fucking tell him..." Then he turns and heads for the door.
"I wish he would just leave me the fuck alone... Or kill me... At least then, I'd be free..." I said causing Wicked to stop at the door and look back at me.
"Free from what, exactly?" Wicked asked.
"Nothing... Never mind..." I said waving my hand at him dismissively.
"Faith..." He started to say but shook his head and continued out the door. Blowing out a breath of air, I fall back on my bed, confusion warping my vision.
I wouldn't tell Ryan anything anyway, but the problem with that is that Ryan and I usually pick up on each other's feelings. We were linked from birth, and I fear that the more time we spend around one another, the quicker out souls are figuring that out.
'But how did Wicked get my number? Does Ryan know he's texting me?' I asked myself internally.
I open the text to Wicked.
"Does he know you're texting me?" ~Faith
It's probably a stupid question, but I have to know. I can't read Wicked or the vibe that he sends out, but I also don't think he'd do anything to upset Ryan either. I can't believe I'm going to say it, but I think they're even closer than Ryan is, or was, to Owen and Austin.
Austin and I still keep in contact occasionally, but not so much Owen. He's all famous and rich, and living his life in Hollywood hill with Jade, but I know that if I turn up on his doorstep, or need anything, he's still the brother I grew to love. I wonder if Ryan keeps in contact with them both, bet he does.
My phone sounds off in my hand and I open the text.
"No..." ~Wicked
I read over the word again. And then again. Maybe I read him wrong, or maybe whatever it is that is going on between Wicked and I is completely platonic. I don't know what to write back, so I put my phone down and pull out my text books, flipping through the pages.