"We have to do something, Kristoff."

Kristoff merely sighed. It had been a long few weeks since his wife had taken it upon herself to get her sister married, and so far, all she had accomplished were awkward talks, a lot of embarrassment, and a somewhat skittish but still bemused Elsa.

As for his own part in her schemes, whenever Elsa found a sheepish looking Kristoff on her threshold, she just laughed and asked if Anna had sent him on her quest again. And then they chatted companionably about all kinds of topics for half an hour or so, and he reported back to Anna that he still hadn't gotten anywhere with her.

"All this talk is getting is nowhere," Anna was saying. "Obviously, we need to force her hand a little to engineer her happiness."

He sat up in alarm. "Anna, I will not let you engineer a compromise for your sister!" *

"Of course not, silly. I would never do that to her." She swatted him playfully over the head. "We just need to make sure she finds lots of eligible men in her path. How else is she going to find her true love?" She sat down in her favourite chair and pensively stroked the beginning bulge of her baby-belly. "Now how do we get a large number of people to the palace?"

"Easy. Throw a ball," Kristoff suggested. She couldn't do much harm with that, could she?

But Anna firmly shook her head. "That won't work: Elsa doesn't dance. Besides, a ball would mean she'd have a lot of female competition. No, it's men we need to get inside the palace walls."

"How about an army then?" Kristoff was only partly in jest, but he received a glare nonetheless.

"Are you suggesting we start a war?!"

"No." He took a sip of his wine. "But men in uniform tend to cut a fine figure. Maybe a parade?"

"Good, because there's no way in hell we could convince Elsa to start a..." She gasped, and jumped up. "Kristoff!"

"What?!"

"Kristoff, you beaut!" Kiss, kiss, kiss. "A parade – of course, that's it!"

And with that, she ran out of the room to start on the preparations.

Two days later, the royal herald of Arendal went around first in the city of Arendal and then in the surrounding countryside reading the following proclamation:

"Hear ye, hear ye! On Saturday, the 5th of the first month of summer, the castle of Arendal will host a parade of eligible men, in order to decide who will bear the honourable title of The Handsomest Man in All of Arendal for the year to come. Winning this title will greatly enhance a man's chances of finding a bride. All bachelor men and widowers aged seventeen and older are hereby invited to present themselves at the castle on the 5th of the first month of summer. Our beloved and esteemed Queen Elsa has kindly agreed to act as head of the jury. Hear ye, hear ye!"

"Anna!" Elsa closed the door behind her a little more forcefully than was strictly necessary.

"Yes?" Anna lifted Agnar from his high chair.

"This is going a bit far, don't you think?"

"Whatever are you talking about?" She handed Agnar his bottle before sitting down as if she didn't have a care in the world.

"You know perfectly well what I mean: this... this parade of yours to find 'The Handsomest Man in All of Arendal'..."

Anna smiled sweetly. "Yes. Isn't it a marvellous idea? Think of all the handsome men you'll get to meet!"

"I'm not looking for a handsome man!"

Anna was on immediate alert. "What are you looking for in a man then?"

"I'm not...!" Elsa closed her eyes and forced herself to relax, for her fists to unclench. Getting upset wouldn't help; she'd only risk hurting Anna again. "You know what I mean," she spoke with still somewhat forced serenity. "I really appreciate you're trying to help me with this because you love me and you care for my happiness. But I really do not want your help in this matter, and I don't need it either. I love you being a part of my life, but this is one part of my life that I prefer to manage by myself. Please – can you understand that?"

"Oh sweetie..." Anna got up and hugged her sister. "I know you think you're perfectly happy, but don't you see? You're like a blind person exclaiming how beautiful the world around you is."

Elsa sighed and rolled her eyes. "I'm not..."

"Elsa, dearest Elsa, you cannot possibly experience true happiness until you've experienced true love. I know you're afraid, and I understand. But we're here for you. We want to help you."

Elsa grimaced. "With a parade of handsome men?"

"Well, you have to start somewhere," Anna remarked matter-of-factly. "I agree that there's more to a man than his looks, but good looks certainly don't hurt."

"So you'll have me judge a bloody cattle-market of good-looking men." Elsa shook her head. "I bet it will be more embarrassing than anything else. But alright, since it has already been announced... on one condition!" she demanded. "You will be my co-judge!"

Anna affected shock. "Me? With my bulky figure? That's not what the men want to see!"

"It's not about what the men want to see; they'll only be here to be seen." She hugged her sister before giving her a final stern look. "But please – next time you come up with some matchmaking scheme, just keep it in the family, will you? I don't think it's fair to involve innocent bystanders in your personal quest."

When the big day of The Grand Parade of Handsome Men came around, Anna had made sure that the castle – and especially the spacious forecourt – was lavishly decorated. Already before noon, men dressed in their finest were lounging around the fountains, leisurely talking to their competitors while attempting to gauge their own chances. It looked as if lots of men – both young and old – were willing to compete for the honour of being known as The Handsomest Man in All of Arendal.

At the stroke of three, the royal trombone players played a festive fanfare, and every man in the forecourt turned to the castle gate. And there they were, all dressed up beautifully: the Queen, her sister Princess Anna, and as a surprise even a beaming young Princess Iduna, who had been badgering her mother about the right of her generation to have a say in the matter until in the end she had given in. The three of them ascended the specially built dais and stood as they waited for their audience to quiet down.

"Gentlemen," Elsa spoke at last, "Welcome to Arendal Castle. You are all here today at the invitation of my sister, Princess Anna, to compete for the honour of being known as The Handsomest Man in All of Arendal. My sister and I will be the judges, assisted by my niece Princess Iduna. Let us have a fair and fun competition today, and may the best man win."

There was applause, and after acknowledging it, Elsa sat down in between Anna and Iduna. "Well, here we go..." she muttered.

Then Kai stepped forward, since he was the one who would explain the proceedings. It was fairly straightforward actually: he'd draw a name from a big bowl, the person in question was asked to come forward and present himself, and then after a little showing off in a manner of their choice, it was the next one's turn.

"First up," Kai spoke loud and clear. "Sverre Storelid."

Everyone spied around, and indeed, from the left side of the crowd a young man, blushing up to his roots, made his way to the centre in front of the dais. He was tall, blond, blue-eyed, in other words, your typical Arendalian. Even dressed in his simple working class clothes, he cut a fine figure indeed.

He took off his cap and bowed for the royal jury. "Your Majesty," he murmured.

"Sverre – I am very glad to meet you," Elsa said in a friendly tone, trying to put the young man (almost still a boy) at ease. "Where are you from?"

"From... from a farm just south of town, your Majesty."

"And what do you have to offer your future wife?"

"I erm... I play the flute, your Majesty."

She smiled at him. "Would you care to play a little for us?"

Blushing even deeper, the boy pulled a small flute from his sash, and began to play a simple folksong. It was nothing out of the ordinary, but nice nonetheless, and the three royals applauded dutifully.

"Thank you, Sverre Storelid," Elsa said, and the boy was ushered aside.

"Next up: Terje Haugen!" Kai announced.

A small rotund man in his sixties with a giant moustache strode forward, obviously boasting about his aristocratic bearing.

And Elsa muttered under her breath to Anna, "If you ever try to set me up with him, I'm going to kill you!" But she smiled and was perfectly polite with him as well as with anyone else who got presented to her that afternoon. But still, she felt it was and remained an awkward affair. Men were presented, and they paraded around like peacocks, but their looks were so diverse that it was impossible to decide which look was superior to another. Their notes were a chaos of names, but for most of them they didn't even recall what face belonged with the name in question. How were they ever going to decide a winner?

The parade of handsome men became more and more a blur to them, and it was with considerable relief when finally they heard Kai announce that all the contestants had now been presented, and that it was time for the jury to retreat and discuss their choices. Under another round of applause, the three ladies went back into the castle, where they fell down in the nearest chairs.

"If you ever again get such a 'marvellous' idea, Anna," Elsa sighed, "Do us all a favour and forget it, will you?"

Anna smiled – even she looked a little guilty. "But what are we going to do now? We need to pick a winner. Do you have any real shortlist?"

Elsa glanced at her paper. "I've got..." She counted. "Thirty-seven names written down. For most of them however, I have no idea anymore who it was. And you?"

Anna sighed. "I've got sixty-one. Let's compare."

Perusing their lists together, it didn't take them long to realize that none of the names matched up.

"We should have known," Elsa sighed. "As different as we are in practically everything, we were bound to have different tastes in men as well."

Anna looked a little unhappy. "So what do we do now? Cast a dice?"

But Elsa looked at Iduna. "Iduna, can we see your list, too?"

Iduna handed it over, and immediately pointed out one name. "I liked him the best."

Anna and Elsa looked at each other in surprise.

"Well," Elsa said. "Since the two of us don't agree on any of them, we might as well declare Iduna's favourite the winner. What do you think?"

"It seems as good a reason as any," Anna agreed. "But sweetheart, now you got mama really curious. Why is it that you like this Sten Pedersen the best?"

Iduna beamed. "Because he looks just like papa."

And that was that.

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* Considering that Frozen took place only a few decades after Jane Austen's tales, it doesn't seem much of a stretch that many of society's rules and morals would still be fairly similar – especially in the upper classes. This would undoubtedly include the concept of being compromised, e.g. either being locked in a room for a stretch of time together with a person from the opposite sex, or being found in close physical contact with someone from the opposite sex – and being seen that way by others. (As a matter of fact, Anna's first encounter with Hans in that little boat would have been reason enough for her to be compromised, had anyone witnessed it. Which apparently no one did.)

Once you had been compromised, the gentleman was expected to offer for the lady immediately. In doing so, all taint of scandal would be removed and the couple would get married 'normally'.

If instead the gentleman did not offer for the lady, or if the lady refused his offer of marriage, the lady's reputation would be ruined for the rest of her life – as would her family's reputation. The gentleman in question however seems to have suffered considerably less of such action.

Still, you can imagine that "engineering" a compromise was a popular way of securing a highly desirable (e.g. very rich) husband or wife. So I imagine that Anna would not be entirely ignorant of such practices, and after several years out of his relative hermit's life, I expect Kristoff would be aware of the existence of such practices as well.

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Meanwhile, next up is Olaf's reaction to Anna's machinations! :-D With a bit of luck, it will be up tomorrow!