Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the universe, but I do own the story. Once again, I'd like to thank my Discord/GC family for helping me cultivate this story. I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH
In the Heart of The Storm:
Of course, the first time I see the man is at the Awards ceremony. At first, I thought I was seeing things, because at every big event, becoming Sgt., then Lt., and even my Captains Promotion ceremony, I always think I see him. But I know, I know this time it's real, HE'S Real and he's really here. I accept the award, I shake hands with everyone, before I make a bee line for the doors that lead to the roof. I blow past Fin, Kat, Amanda, and Sonny; hearing Fin stop Amanda from coming after me. I can hear the pouring rain, and I don't care how wet I get, I don't even care it's raining I just need to escape to the room. Anything's better than the anxiety I'm feeling. Being on this roof, it's grounding for me just like the roof of the 1-6 was OUR place before he left, and became my refuge when I needed it. As I lean my arms against the railing on the roof and look out over the city I have loved and served with every ounce of my being, my tears mixing with the rain I think back to all the years I've served this city without the one person I would've given anything to have back. I can't tell if my tears are from the happiness I feel because he's back and he's here and he come looking for me, or if it's from the anger that I feel because he chose now, right now to come back to me... for me. I hear the door to the roof open, and without turning around I know it is him, I know that he made it past Fin. Because even after all this time, he can't stand to watch me cry, or be upset, and he still chases after me.
"Livia" he says gently, his voice slightly washed out by the sound of the wind and rain, and I realize he really is standing on this rooftop, getting soaked to the bone in this rain, and realizing he doesn't give the slightest of damns. I can't help but think of how over our 12 year partnership, the rooftop was our shared thinking space, where we did some of our best work and apologized after fights. "Elliot, why are you here?" I ask, reaching up to wipe my face, knowing that my makeup is smeared and that between my tears and the rain, there's a good chance its all washed away anyway. "Because I'm home Livia. Because I wanted to come home and find you as soon as possible" he says, stepping up behind me, close but not close enough to make me feel like I'm trapped. "I missed you so much Liv, and I know I've hurt you in ways I never intended to" he says, as I hear him step a little closer. "WHERE WERE YOU ELLIOT? I NEEDED YOU! GOD, I FUCKING NEEDED YOU AND YOU FUCKING LEFT ME" I yell, turning to face him, but all of my anger melts as I see his tears, and how he's desperately trying to hold himself together in order to listen. "I can try and say I'm sorry a million times but the words would lose their meaning after the first several hundred times. The only thing I can do is say I'm whatever it takes to prove to you how sorry I am, how I'm never leaving you again, and to earn your trust again. I've missed you Livia, like the sun misses the rain" he says, preparing for me to yell at him again, as I watch him stand up slightly straighter against the wind.
Instead, feeling relief at hearing him actually talk to me, I step up to him and wrap my arms around him gently and say "Just because I'm hugging you doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you" the slight anger from earlier still there and I can even hear it in my own voice "the relief of seeing you, knowing your alive is winning out right now." Elliot chuckles in my ear as he wraps his arms around me in return, placing his hands on my back and saying "I wouldn't expect any different. If you wanna kick my ass, I'll deserve it. If you wanna hit me and scream at me until you can't anymore, you can do that. I just want the chance to fix this Livia, please let me fix it" his voice cracking as he finishes his sentence. I think back over the past 10 years without him, and having to figure out who Benson was without Stabler and I realize that while I grew professionally and a little personally, there was always a big part of me who had never got over him not being at my side and had never go over how in love I was with him. I realize that I'm still in love with the man who was and still is the greatest friend I've ever had. I make my choice then, standing in the god forsaken rain on this rooftop, that I'm not letting him get away from me again, not now, not ever. I pull my head up off his shoulder, and look into his ocean blue eyes, and say "We'll do it together Elliot. Like we should've 10 years ago." He smiles as he shakes his head slightly and says "No you're wrong Liv" flinching slightly as I pull back to hit him, hearing his small chuckle as he says "We should've done it together 23 years ago" before pulling me back into his arms again.
As I hug him back, I can't help but be grateful for the storms of life. Because after every storm, there's always a little bit more clarity that we can't see in the heart of the storm. I'm grateful for the storms I've had to endure, because they brought me back the most beautiful and wonderful parts of me, and gave me back the only man I have ever truly loved.