Thanks Flora for beta'ing :)

Chapter 5

I found out much later that while I was realizing just how much Odanga Atama might mean to me, she was spending the same night wondering if she and I were… how did she put it?... fundamentally incompatible.

Apparently, I'd been quite the jackass to her, without even realizing it. She'd spent the evening vacillating between raging and crying and ranting to Luna. Always cognizant of my feelings, Usako didn't confess this to me until years into our marriage, and only as a funny story. I'm glad she kept it from me at the time, my confidence was easily shaken in those early days.

It reflects more on her than on me that she returned the next day, as promised.

She was a cheerful companion while we bought (way too many) baby supplies, coo'ed over Manami and treated me more or less normally. Overtired and off-kilter, I mostly followed along, saying little.

"Usagi! When did you have Mamoru's baby?" A teasing voice behind us made Usagi tense and turn bright red.

A mischievous-looking blonde girl and the tall brunette by her side giggled in response to Usagi's rageface.

Odango Atama utterly lost it on them, seething that she'd never do such a thing and how dare they even suggest it!

I watched her dispassionately, wondering why an obvious joke had gotten under her skin. We did look like Manami was our baby, if one could think Usagi just looked young. It didn't bother me, but it clearly upset her, which made me bristle.

"You two really do look like real parents now," Ami added. I hadn't even noticed her standing there with a stylish sweater and kind smile.

"That's NOT funny!"

I didn't know Odango Atama got this angry at people who weren't me. Did it really bother her that much? She was the one who insisted on helping!

"Uh… Mamoru?" Usagi suddenly looked sheepish, her face less red as she walked backwards a few steps. "I gotta go." She turned to run off with her friends, "Sorry! I'll be back later to help!"

I'd barely gotten an "O...kay…," out before she was out of earshot.

"Well, that was weird," I said to Manami, as I shifted the packages in my arms to the basket underneath the stroller.

I sighed and looked at the baby. "I suppose it makes sense she'd rather spend the day with her friends than playing house with someone she doesn't even like," I added.

Manami looked up at me and burped.

It'd only been a day and a half, but already I was starting to feel like I could really get the hang of this baby thing.

Manami was happily destroying a tissue box while I made a bottle correctly on only the second try.

The doorbell rang and I called out to come right in, expecting Odango Atama to walk in and bask in Manami's clear adoration of her.

Instead, Natsumi entered, cheerfully offering to help. I was shocked to see her at my apartment, but managed to cover it up pretty well. Manami was a handful, I'd take help where I could get it.

She said she asked about the babies at the hospital, but it was pretty clear she'd just followed me from town. I decided to let it go. I certainly couldn't fault someone for being socially awkward.

I don't know why I assumed Manami would enjoy the attention of another youthful, pretty babysitter as much as he liked Usagi, but I did. I figured a warm body was a warm body to a baby. But Manami was unhappy almost right away.

"He may have wet his diaper," I told her, figuring if she really did want to help, a diaper change was a good way to prove it.

Instead, she ran out of the room screaming, splashing water in her face and cursing 'that brat' loudly, as if Manami had peed on her purposely out of spite.

Manami innocently suckled on his bottle, kicking chubby legs into the air.

Natsumi came back a lot calmer, smiling at the baby and at me. "However long you need my help with this darling baby, I'm here," she said, gathering Manami up into her arms.

He looked at her from behind his bottle, and nonchalantly peed right in her face again.

Natsumi dropped him and thank goodness I had the reflexes to catch him before he hit the floor. What the hell? I thought, the previous generous feelings I'd had for Natsumi dissolving into annoyance.

"Wait!" I called after her as she stormed off. I almost ran directly into Usagi in the doorway.

Nastumi slammed the door and Usagi turned to me.

And she just... looked at me. In a way that rendered me speechless. "I guess you'll let just anyone help with Manami."

This from the girl who'd completely lost her mind when her friends teased her about us?

"Wait, Odango Atama!" I had grabbed her arm before I even realized I'd done it. One second she was turning to leave and the next second my hand was wrapped around her denim-clad arm, and she was looking at me with murder in her eyes.

"Let me go!"

I didn't. "Nastumi just came to help!" Why was I defending myself? "What are you so mad about, Usagi?"

Odango Atama being angry at me was not a new phenomenon, not by far. But this was a different kind of angry. One I didn't like one bit.

"I don't want to be around a guy who doesn't understand girls have feelings!" she shouted, eyes all fire and hurt and anger and tears.

Was she angry that I'd hurt Natsumi's feelings? Or had I somehow hurt Usagi's feelings? Even under her jacket, her arm was warm. This whole thing was a mess.

I dropped my grip and my gaze, waiting in silence for her to leave. It'd be for the best.

"Aahh! Look!"

Her anger forgotten, Usagi pointed at Manami in amazement. On wobbly legs, he took a few shaky, determined steps before plopping down in front of the tissue box again.

The experience of seeing him learn something new was, for lack of a better word, really, really cool. And, I was glad I'd gotten to share it with Usagi. She was the one who said he'd walk, after all.

"He did it, he did it!" She was jumping up and down in unbridled, beautiful enthusiasm and it was perfect because it was exactly how I felt, too. I might not have jumped, but I whooped along with her, glad she was there to manifest that proud joy with me.

"Am I interrupting something?" A new voice broke the spell, and I realized Usagi and I had locked hands.

It felt so natural at the time, I hadn't even noticed. But, boy, I did now. Her hands were so small. Warm. Soft.

I didn't want to let go. Usagi, however, yanked her hands away like I'd burn them.

"No, no it's because… it's Manami…" she was babbling excuses to Ami. Rather than stand there and listen to Usagi freak out as if my skin had been poison, (because, ouch?) I focused on Manami, kneeling beside him.

"He took his very first steps," I explained, and tried to urge the baby forward.

"Uh, Mamoru? I hafta go. Sorry. I'll be back!" Usagi left with Ami who threw a polite "Excuse us!" over her shoulder.

I was left holding Manami in my suddenly empty apartment. "See what I meant about her?" I said. "Total weirdo."

I could still feel her hands in mine.

It was barely a few hours later that the phone rang, the hospital informing me that Manami's mother was being discharged early - tonight!

"I'll be right there as soon as she's discharged," I said into the phone.

"No, no, she'd rather come to you," the nurse said. "She's eager to see her baby."

"Good news, little man," I said, picking up Manami. "You get to go home with your mom today!"

I gathered the leftover diapers, baby food, toys and all the stuff Usagi and I had bought together, in order to send it home with Manami and his mom.

"Speaking of Odango Atama," I said, sighing. "She should be here to see you off as well, don't you think?"

Manami was happily sucking on his fist.

"I wish I knew how to get in touch with her," I told him. I wish I'd gotten her phone number or something…

I should've known fate had my back. I practically ran her over leaving the elevator.

She stumbled but caught herself, all blonde hair and surprised eyes and giggling smile.

"Usagi! I'm so glad you are here!" The words tumbled from my mouth before I could stop them. Manami cooed and clapped in delight. "Manami is going home tonight!"

True to her word, Manami's mother was waiting for us outside the lobby doors. "My baby!" she cried, and Manami's face lit up in a way I'd never seen before, he was so happy to see his mom… I almost got choked up.

"I'll miss ya little guy," Usagi said, wistfully.

"Mamowo," Manami said, looking at me. I pulled back, shocked. Did… did he just…?

"Oo-sa-gi," Manami said, patting Usagi's cheek. "Bye bye!"

Watching Manami and his mother disappear into the sunset might've felt bittersweet, but instead I felt elation.

"Did he…" Usagi started.

"Say our names…?" I finished.

We grabbed hands again, the most natural thing in the world. Usagi was squealing in delight, and I think, embarrassingly, I was too.

"He spoke! He said our names!" It felt like the highest of high honors had been bestowed upon us.

After the outburst, Usagi was still breathing hard, eyes bright and face beaming. We were still holding hands. I didn't let go.

But again, she did. Pulling back in that same, sheepish, embarrassed way. Had she assumed she was the only one carried away? Pulling nervously on a pigtail, she smiled at me. A smaller smile.

"You uh, you were really a big help with Manami," I told her, honestly.

Her gaze drifted wistfully in the direction he'd disappeared. "Yeah," she said softly. "I like kids."

"You do, huh?" I said, a familiar smirk settling onto my features. "Do you have any?"

Usagi blinked and turned to me with an affronted expression. When she realized I was turning her own embarrassing words back upon her, she groaned. "Ugh, you utter baka."

I laughed out loud, and she scowled, pushing out one cheek in an adorably miffed expression. But her eyes weren't really angry.

After Usagi went home for dinner, I returned to my apartment - which felt emptier than usual, and far too quiet.

With a sigh, I flopped unceremoniously onto the sofa, ready to sleep for days. Instead, I ended up staring at the ceiling for a while, lost in thought.

Odango Atama. Tsukino Usagi.

Goddammit.