Author's Note:

Round 5 - Cowardice

Team: Catapults

Position: Seeker

Sirius discovers Remus is a werewolf, he makes the second hardest decision he's ever had to make.

Beta's: CupCakeyyy, charlotteredmond, Wellwick

A boy with short, dark, curly hair was somewhere he would never be found voluntarily. His friends, the professors, they'd all be surprised that he was in the library. It was a warm, sunny day outside, so he and his group of friends would usually be found outside, or planning the next prank. But there was something different about this day. He was going to stop at nothing to use his brains to figure it out.

There had been a full moon last night and it hadn't escaped his notice that one of his best friends hadn't been seen during the night either. Now, usually, that wouldn't mean anything. However, he knew his friend well enough to know he would be in bed before nine like a good student, like he was every night. He was always the first in bed, the first to leave the party, the first to complain about his tiredness.

So him vanishing completely was out of the norm.

Sirius had picked up a few things - it was interesting that his friend always used similar excuses once a month. Tummy ache, under the weather, exhaustion, etc. He had a list. Seriously, he had made a whole list, starting some months back, and it had stopped growing pretty quickly. One time, he, James and Peter had snuck into the Hospital Wing to cheer him up, to visit him. Was their friend even there? No. Should he have been there? Well, if you were to believe his tale of having diarrhea, then yes, he should have been there.

James didn't want to find out what was wrong, he was too trusting, but Sirius didn't want to let the matter go. He didn't defy his parents only to make friends who are lying to him once a month. That wasn't what Gryffindor was about. Gryffindor was about bravery, being courageous, knowing when a friend was in need of help. He was going to be that friend. Even if it meant being in the library, the one place he always refused to go to. He had a reputation to maintain, after all, and being the studious one definitely wasn't a part of it, mind you.

Sirius was in the magical creature section, browsing the book spines deliberately. He didn't know for sure what the full moon had to do with Remus, he was only twelve. He didn't know all of the creatures that existed. Just a few of the dangerous ones his mother told stories about. Vampires, in particular. But he knew that wasn't what his friend was, he would know. Right? Honestly, did vampires even really exist? His mother loved to make up scary things to… Well, Sirius didn't know why, but he was sure it was purely out of spite. To toughen them up! He took out a thick, light brown book with special binding on the outside out of the shelf and blew the thick layer of dust off its spine. It looked fancy and Sirius liked fancy things. Probably another thing he could blame his mother for.

As he studied the book cover, he noticed it was decorated with trees and birds. At the first glance, it looked pretty, almost like a book you'd expect to be filled with tales if it weren't for the eyes in the shadows between the tree trunks. He raised his eyebrow and nodded to himself. This would do, he thought. Sitting down at the nearest empty table, he accidentally slammed the book down heavily and the rest of the dust flew off into the air. He sneezed. Sirius shot a hectic glance towards the direction in which Madam Pince would usually be lurking, but after a few, horrifying anxiety-ridden seconds, the aisle between the huge bookshelves remained empty.

He opened the book to the middle. He didn't have Lily's or Remus's patience of looking through the directory and even if he had, he had no clue as to what he really was looking for. Sure, his mother had told him stories about the evil, hairy, salivating creatures that spread the 'Curse of the Wolf' throughout the country, but that woman couldn't be trusted. He liked to skim over books he opened, only reading the important information. The page he had opened the book on was addressing dragons.

'How boring,' he thought, sighing. Not interested, he skipped half the book to the end. Once he looked at the page number, he blinked. Page 394.

Lycanthropy. The 'Curse of the Wolf.'

Sirius collapsed back in his chair, fear and shock written in his eyes. He didn't need to read the page further. He ran a hand through his hair, his brain going into overdrive. If Remus was a Werewolf, what did that mean? Were they safe? He had been sleeping in the same room as one for a whole year and a half now! What if Remus wouldn't get to the Hospital Wing in time? Wait, did he transform in the castle? They would all be in danger! What would happen if he were to forget it was the full moon? What then? Was it even possible for him to forget? He had no idea. He should probably ask him, but…

Sirius bit his lip. Did… Did Dumbledore know? Surely, Dumbledore would have to know? If he did know that meant he knew he was putting other students at risk, not just at risk of dying but at risk of turning into a werewolf! Though… his mother had always spoken of werewolves, too, feared them, in fact. If his mother was scared of them, that had to mean something. She had even said to run as fast as he could if he ever met one.

He had always been one to take anything his mother said with a grain of salt, however, if there was something he could trust, it was his mother's fear.

He shook his head, trying to get rid of these thoughts; this was Remus he was thinking about... Remus, he hadn't hurt them, so he had to have it under control, right? He was still staring at the insulting L-word. No, Remus hadn't hurt them yet.

Closing the book with a look of worry, he knew what he had to do. Looking up, he saw the one boy he was just about to try and find, the jet-black hair and glasses making it easy to spot his best friend, who was clearly looking for someone. He waved him over.

"James!" he whispered loudly, hoping to not alert Madam Pince. At the whisper, the other boy jogged over, taking a seat next to him.

"Sirius, what are you doing in the library?" James asked and Sirius chuckled quietly.

"Don't be so surprised," he replied and James laughed, patting Sirius on the shoulder lightly.

"What are you doing here?"

Sirius took a shaky breath, James had to know. He knew that. How was he going to tell him? He closed his eyes, hesitating and didn't see James frown with concern. "James, I found something." He paused, opening his eyes again, looking straight into his friend's eyes. "Remus is a werewolf."

There was silence.

Sirius watched the fear in James's eyes turn into confusion and hurt. The smile he had worn just seconds before had disappeared. Similar to how Sirius himself had reacted. Only James said something he least expected to hear.

"This… Sirius. We have to help him."

Sirius blinked, not once, not twice but three times.

"W-what?" he stuttered.

James nodded in return, determination in his eyes. "Imagine what he's going through! Werewolves have no choice but to turn and it has to hurt, right? The pain, the fear of being discovered… I can't even begin to imagine having to live with that. They're considered dark creatures, Sirius, but this is Remus we're talking about! He's our friend. We need to help him. We have to."

"I… I don't know, James…"

His friend stared at him, mouth agape. "What?" he breathed, sounding shocked. "Don't tell me you don't want to help him, Sirius."

"He's a freaking werewolf, James!" he all but screeched just before he pushed his hands back into his hair. He could feel the pressure rise inside of him as his brain showed him all of the possible outcomes of them helping Remus, staying his friend, accepting him for what he was. "This is dangerous and…"

"Don't tell me you're not in because it's forbidden?"

Sirius looked at his friend and saw the pure disbelief in his eyes.He sat up straight, hands dropping onto the book that had started it all. James was right. Of course, he was right. That was it. He couldn't let Remus be in pain. He didn't want him to be scared. How could he have been having those thoughts? That wasn't very Gryffindor of him. He let fear take over. He was being a coward. Sirius was anything but a coward, after all the choices he had made.

He glanced at his best friend with the same determination.

It took him all that he had to not squeeze his eyes shut, start crying, and run to Dumbledore, begging for help. He could do this, right? His brain told him this was wrong, so wrong, but it was Remus they were talking about and Remus would help him, wouldn't he?

Merlin, why couldn't it be a random Slytherin that turned into a people-killing monster every month? He wouldn't hesitate to hand him over to the authorities that way! But Remus… Remus deserved so much more! He was such a nice guy, a gentle soul who Sirius had believed couldn't hurt a fly if his life depended on it. Now, however?

"I'm sorry," he said softly. He could feel his heart clench in his chest. "I'm so sorry, but I can't."

"You must be joking."

Sirius didn't know what to do. He felt whatever he chose, whatever direction he'd go, he would choose the wrong one. He'd come and stand in front of a brick wall, unable to move past it.

"I… I can't. But I won't tell Dumbledore. Maybe with time, maybe if I talk to him and he can explain everything to me… Maybe then I'll help, but right now I can't. But I won't tell anyone. I promise."

He didn't know what was worse - the look of pure hurt on James's face or his inner voice chanting, "Coward, coward, coward."

Please, Merlin, please don't let this be a mistake.