AUTHOR'S NOTICE:
Whew! I'm surprised this chapter didn't take as long to type as the previous ones XD. Also...there are TWO CHAPTERS LEFT OF THIS STORY! *cheers* I am proud of how popular this story is compared to my other stories, and I just want to thank every one of you who has favored and reviewed this story. It means so much to me and I love you all for it! *cookies for everyone*
I replaced chapter 4 with the original ending I typed. Last chapter, you guys were wondering if I could change it since it was out of character for Edward to see his friends, but, it is ALL FOR THE PLOT. I tried to type this chapter with the rewritten ending of Chapter 4 and it just didn't make sense, so it's why I replaced it again with the original.
I will not lie, I was crying when I was typing the ending of this chapter so prepare yourselves in case you cry at emotional scenes lol. I know that for Chapter 6, it's going to be emotional so heads up on that. Anyway people, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and please, feel free to leaves positive, happy reviews for flames can be hurtful to the authors' feelings. Thanks you and have an amazing day!
Until Chapter 6 is out, enjoy!
~~suicuneluvr~~
Sir Topham Hatt smiled cheerfully as he looked through the work schedules for his engines today. Since the announcement of Edward's parts being brought in and constantly getting updates about him, he was getting excited. He had a special place in his heart for the number 2 engine for he was the first engine he bought to work on his railway years ago after having him on loan. Out of all his engines, Edward was the only one who never argued or tried to get out of doing the jobs he was tasked with. The only issue he could think of was the time Edward let Thomas pull his goods train not long after Thomas arrived. He knew Edward wanted Thomas to have the chance to pull a train, even though he knew Thomas wasn't ready to pull trains at the time. S.T.H also knew that Edward was very loyal and determined, never giving up and helping others when they needed it.
Picking up the metal toy train off his desk, he held it in his hand and stared at the light blue paint coating it, with a yellow number 2 on its side. "You'll be back with your family and friends soon, Edward." He said softly, smiling warmly as he put the train back onto the map, his mind traveling to when he first met Edward.
~~Flashback~~
Sir Topham Hatt smiled as he got out of his car, looking at the sign that said Furness. Smiling to himself, he closed his door and walked towards the controller's office, wanting to talk to him about some of their engines. He had just gotten the rights by the mayor to connect the three railways on Sodor to help the increase of transporting goods and passengers to and from the other towns on the island and even onto the Mainland. He had already had a drawbridge built over the Walney Channel, converted most of the single tracks to double, and had repaired shops made in Croven's Gate. The only problem he faced was the lack of engines. He knew that the coffee pot engines were still working, even hearing how the Master of the Railway was helping before he vanished but knew that he needed strong engines. Walking up to the controller's door, he gently knocks on it and waits.
Not long after knocking, the door opened, and a man walked out. "May I help you?"
S.T.H stared at the slender man in front of him. His hair was a dirty blonde and slicked back and had dark brown eyes. He wore a black dress suit with a white dress shirt under it. His black shoes sparkled from being shined and a pale yellow handkerchief in his breast pocket. "Hello, my name is Topham Hatt, I called a few days ago to ask about loaning some engines from you." He stated firmly, in a business-like manner as he took his top hat off and held his hand out.
"Oh yes, I remember." The man smiled as he took his hand, shaking it. "My name is Ronald Chapman. Please, follow me." He hummed as he closed the door behind him, walking off.
Putting his top hat back on, S.T.H followed the other controller behind him towards a goods yard. Multiple engines were busy shunting or about to pull trains. Ranging from coffee pot engines to different standard gauge engines, he noticed how all of them were painted red.
"As you can see, we have quite a few engines that will be perfect to help you build your railway on Sodor." Ronald smiled as he showed him the engines.
"They all do seem really useful engines." S.T.H smiled as he watched the engines work hard.
Blinking, he turned his head to stare at an engine that was shunting quietly. He was a FR 21/K2 class mix traffic standard gauge engine with a tender attached to him. His configuration seemed to be 4-4-0 and has a total of 14 wheels. He was painted a rich red color with golden stripes on him and on his tender. The letters FR were painted in yellow on his tender and his wheels black as ebony. His focus was on the trucks, but S.T.H. could tell that something was up with him. Though his face looked focused and determined, his eyes read a different story. They seem to be filled with sadness and pain. S.T.H frowned at the engine, wondering why he looked so sad while the other engines seemed to be happy.
"Um, Sir Chapman?" S.T.H asked as he looked at the controller.
"Please, call me Ronald." The controller chuckled softly before looking at him. "What is it?"
"Who is that engine over there?" S.T.H asked, pointing at the engine that he felt drawn to.
"That's Edward. "Ronald hummed as he looked at said engine. "We bought him a few weeks ago from Glasgow, Scotland but is very shy. The builders said that he was a completely different engine before...the accident." He sighed softly.
"Accident?"
"Apparently, the engine they had there, who was Edward's mentor, died in a horrific crash…" Ronald said solemnly before looking at S.T.H.
S.T.H stared at Ronald with wide eyes before looking at Edward. He read about the accident in the papers, but never knew it was that horrendous. He saw the engines as living beings, not just as machinery as some humans do, and hearing about this made him feel sick. It is no wonder Edward has the look of sadness in his eyes. He was probably close to the engine and losing them just made Edward realize how dark the world is at such an early age. Looking down in thought, S.T.H looked up at Ronald with a determined gaze.
"If it's alright with you, I would like Edward to be one of the engines in the loan." S.T.H hummed determinedly.
"Are you sure?" Ronald asked, looking at him in surprise. "He was built only about a month ago and is really shy towards others."
"I'm sure." S.T.H smiled slightly before looking at the engine. "A new scenery where it's a tiny bit calmer would probably help him a lot."
"I see…" Ronald hummed in thought, crossing his arms before smiling. "Very well then." He nodded. "Let's go back to my office and we can start on the paperwork." He chuckled softly before both controllers walked back to the station.
~~End Flashback~~
S.T.H jumped out of his flashback when the phone rang. Sighing a bit in relief from being startled, he answers it. "Hello?...Ah, good morning Maria." He smiled as he greeted the engine specialist. Soon, his smile faded to a frown. "I see...yes, I'll bring over everything in his file...Very well, I'll be there soon. Goodbye." He sighed softly before hanging up.
He was feeling happy that Edward had awoken but now, he felt worried. He never expected Edward to lash out in a panic ring told that his friends could visit him. He knew something was wrong because Edward never rejected the idea of seeing friends. Walking over to a file cabinet, he opened the top drawer and pulled out Edward's entire folder. He stared at it, remembering when Ronald handed him this same file when he fully bought Edward.
~~Flashback~~
S.T.H smiled as he watched Edward and the other Furness engines shunt the goods trucks, Edward being the one to pull the trains. The railway had grown over the past month, now connecting Knapford, Tidmouth, and Elsbridge to Wellsworth and Suddery. It took a week since Edward first arrived on the island to come out of his shell. He was always smiling when he talked to the controller, even to the coffee pot engine, Glenn. His eyes were filled with happiness and admiration instead of sadness when he first met him. Hearing the sound of a car door shutting, S.T.H smiled as he saw Ronald walking towards him.
"Good afternoon, Ronald." S.T.H smiled as he held his hand out.
"Afternoon, Topham." Ronald chuckled as he shook his hand. "Edward looks like he's enjoying himself."
"Indeed, he is." S.T.H smiled slightly, feeling sad. He has grown attached to the mixed traffic engine but knew it was time for him to return to the Furness railway. "I'll go tell him and the others that they're going back to your railway."
"Actually…" Ronald muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. "I, uh...I don't want Edward back on my railway."
S.T.H stared at the Furness controller in shock. "W-What do you mean?"
"He was just too shy while working." Ronald hummed as he looked at the engine. "Edward would stay to himself and rarely talked to the other engines or workers." He muttered quietly. "I'll put him up for sale for someone ca-"
"I'll buy him." S.T.H. Said instantly, staring at the man. "I'll buy Edward off of you."
"You sure?" Ronald questioned, starting at the Fat Controller.
"I am. He's one of the best engines I have here and has taken a liking to one of my other engines." S.T.H. chuckled softly before looking back at Edward.
"I'm glad you see him as a living being instead of a machine." Ronald smiled warmly as he looked at him.
~~Later~~
Edward rested in Vicarstown Station, watching as the engines from the Furness Railway puffed down the tracks and headed towards the drawbridge over the Walney Channel. His eyes were filled with mixed emotions as he watched some of his fellow engines leave. It's true he was too shy to get to know them, but he was with them since he was bought to work on the Furness Railway. He kept staring at the rails in front of him that he didn't hear another engine stop next to him.
"Are you feeling alright, Edward?" Glynn asked as he looked at his friend, noticing the look on his face.
"I'm not sure, Glynn." Edward hummed softly as he glanced at him. "I feel sad that I won't be returning to the Furness Railway and yet, I'm glad I'm not leaving Sodor."
"It's understandable why you feel like that, Edward." S.T.H smiled as he walked over to his two engines. "The Furness Railway was your home and you moved here where it's still brand new to you." He stated as he gently placed his hand on the engine's buffer. "But I have noticed you smiling a lot more since you arrived."
"Well, Sir, it's because I feel calm and happy here since I left Scotland." Edward said softly, a warm smile on his face. "I don't want to leave Sodor, ever."
"And you won't." Glynn chuckled softly.
"Glynn is right." S.T.H. smiled as he looked at the red tender engine. "Now then, I want you to go to the Steamworks in Crovan's Gate and get repainted."
"Repainted, Sir?" Edward asked in confusion.
"Of course!" S.T.H smiled as he looked up at him. "You are a part of Sodor now as part of my railway. Besides, I think you'll like the color I picked out."
"Alright, Sir." Edward smiled, feeling more relaxed than before.
Blowing his whistle twice, Edward puffed backward down the tracks, heading towards Crovan's Gate.
~~End Flashback~~
S.T.H smiled warmly as he remembered the bright smile on Edward's face when he was repainted to the light blue color. Something changed in Edward that day and he felt ecstatic that he was able to help him. Sighing a bit, he remembered why he grabbed the file before closing the filing cabinet. Once again, something was wrong with Edward and he will do everything he can to bring his engine back to him, to the railway, and more importantly, to his friends. Putting his top hat back on, he tightly held the file in his hand before leaving his office. Knapford station was filled with people, a cool spring breeze flowing through the station. Multiple engines passed through the station, either pulling goods trains, or coaches.
"Morning, Sir!" Thomas said cheerfully, slowing to a stop in the station.
"Oh, uh, morning, Thomas." S.T.H. smiled wearily, looking at the tank engine.
"Is everything alright, Sir?" Thomas asked softly, a concerned look on his face.
"Y-Yes, everything is alright, Thomas." S.T.H chuckled nervously. "Now then, continue doing a good job today, I'll be busy running some errands." He said softly before walking towards his car.
"He seemed a bit jumpy." Annie said softly, looking at the platform.
"I agree." Clarabel agreed with her friend. "Almost like he's hiding something."
"Sir Topham Hatt wouldn't hide anything from anyone." Thomas reassured them, waiting for the guard's whistle. "I'm sure there's a perfect reason why he's like this."
"Maybe, Thomas, but something doesn't seem right." Annie said softly.
"I'm sure it's nothing." Thomas stated, hearing the guard's whistle.
Blowing his whistle twice, he starts to puff down the tracks as his mind wanders to what his coaches said. S.T.H. never acted like that before and it made his boiler ache worriedly. Then, his mind traveled to Edward and he felt his pistons rattle in fear. What if something happened to his brother? No. S.T.H wouldn't hide something like from him. Besides, he knows that Maria is making sure his brother is healthy and useful again. Blowing his whistle twice again, Thomas forced himself to focus on the tracks in front of him, listing off the jobs he was given today.
Maria hummed softly as she jotted notes down, staring at the engine in front of her. Ever since he woke up, he seemed a bit jumpy and his face showing tiredness, fear, and sadness. His body is still a shiny grey color from not being painted yet by his request. From the stories the others told her about Sodor's number 2, she knew that this is the complete opposite of who he is. Sadly, she was expecting something like this, given the faces he kept making while in his coma. In the past, she watched how some of the engines she worked on entered a depressed state like this one before, and that was usually because of something in their past. Putting her pen down, she looked back up at the engine in thought.
Edward sighed softly as he stared at the floor with a drained look. When he was told he was in a coma for three months, he was shocked but didn't really show it. He felt completely drained like he has been pulling heavy trains nonstop for days. Maria's words kept flowing through his mind, how everyone kept stopping by to check up on him and how his entire body was scrapped and replaced with a brand new one. But the problem that really hit the nail in his depressed state was the news about his right eye. After awakening from his nightmarish coma, he was confused about why his right vision was black but now, he knows that he lost it. He can still feel the bandage pressed against his eye, the feeling of the tape against his face irritating him but he didn't care. The sounds of the Steamworks fell deaf onto him, his mind constantly repeating what he's been through that he didn't hear a pair of footsteps heading towards him.
S.T.H. looked up at Edward with a worried look on his face. Seeing his engine with such a foreign look and seeing the lack of paint on his body. Currently, he didn't see his number 2 blue engine, but an engine that wasn't part of his railway. Shaking the thoughts out of his head, he held the file tightly in his hands before walking over to Maria. The engine doctor put her thermos down as she watched the controller walk over to her.
"Good morning, Sir." Maria said softly, standing up from her chair. "Thank you for coming down so early." She hummed as she gently took the file from his hands.
"Tell me, what happened to Edward?" He asked in a concerned voice.
Maria hummed in thought before looking back at Edward. Clicking her tongue, she gestures the controller to follow her to the corner of the secluded area. Looking back at Edward worriedly, he turned his head and followed her. When they were far away from the engine and the other workmen, Maria turned around and faced him.
"I'm afraid that his mental health is in the red zone." Maria whispered quietly, opening the files.
"H-His mental health?" S.T.H. asked in concern. "But...he never showed any mental problems when he arrived on Sodor."
"From what everyone has told me, he enjoys talking to his friends, smiling, and giving them some advice." Maria hummed softly, a sad smile on his face. "He sounds like an amazing engine but I'm afraid something from his past is being played in his mind."
"Well…" S.T.H. sighed sadly. "When I went to the Furness Railway years ago to borrow some engines on loan, his owner at the time mentioned that Edward's mentor died in an accident where he was built."
"That's probably it then." Maria muttered to herself as she looked through his files. "For the past three months, his face kept showing fear and sadness, along with whimpering. He's more than likely going back into his depressive state from reliving that moment in his life." She whispered quietly. "...Is there any paperwork on the accident?"
"I'm afraid there isn't." S.T.H. sighed softly as he took his tophat off, wiping his head with his handkerchief. "Ronald said that the people who made Edward gave him any paperwork about the accident."
"I see." Maria sighed softly as she closed the file.
"Please, is there any way we can bring Edward back to his old self?" S.T.H. asked desperately. "Thomas needs him back."
"He's going to need therapy." Maria hummed as she pulled out a notepad and a pen. "Most engines I've helped that were also in a coma usually have this happen. He's also going to need some private training shunting cars and pulling trains with only half his vision."
"I will pay for anything." S.T.H said in a desperate voice. "I just want Edward back with his friends and family."
Maria looked at him before smiling warmly. "I promise I'll help Edward as best as I can."
PEEP PEEP
Edward's eye widened as he quickly wheeled himself backward from being startled, his tender bumping into the buffer beam behind him. His breathing started to speed up as the heart monitor was beeping rapidly. Sparks flew off his wheels as he tried to force himself to move back even more. His gaze was distant and unfocused as he panicked.
"Shit!" Maria yelled as he ran towards the engine. "Make sure Thomas doesn't come back here!" She yelled at S.T.H. as she jumped onto Edward's buffer beam.
S.T.H. quickly ran out of the secluded area, closing the tarp behind him. Looking at the entrance of the Steamworks, he watched as Thomas puffed in, stopping on the turntable. Instantly, S.T.H. ran towards the small tank engine, worried that he might see Edward in this state.
"Hello Victor, Kevin." Thomas smiled brightly as he looked at the two. "Is...is Edward awake yet?" He asked softly, his eyes filled with anticipation.
Victor stared at the tank engine with a worried look, not knowing how to answer him. He was there when Edward woke up and heard how he didn't want to see anyone, especially his friends. He knew that something was troubling Edward for him to say that and it worried him. He has seen how upset, scared, and depressed Thomas was while Edward was being rebuilt and he didn't want to see the tank engine go through that again. Every day, Thomas had stopped by, asking the same question for the past three months. Victor knows that Thomas wanted to be with his brother, their bond clearly visible to anyone who looks at them.
"Hello, Thomas." S.T.H. panted as he slowed to a stop. "S-Shouldn't you be doing your jobs?"
"I just finished pulling Annie and Clarabel, Sir." Thomas said softly, looking down. "I just...wanted to check up on Edward…" He muttered sadly.
"Thomas…" S.T.H. sighed softly as he looked back at the secluded area. He blinks when he sees Maria's head sticking out of the tarp, nodding before disappearing back behind him. "...Edward is awake, Thomas."
Thomas' eyes slowly widened, a huge smile appearing on his face. "REALLY?!" He asked excitedly, blowing his whistle three times happily.
"Quiet!" S.T.H. whispered loudly. "Yes, Edward has woken up but is still very weak and tired and needs his rest still."
"Can I still see him?" Thomas asked hopefully, his eyes sparkling.
"Until Mrs. Maverick gives the ok, I'm afraid you can't but you can still talk to him." S.T.H. sighed softly, a sad smile on his face. "But keep it short and don't bombard him with a lot of questions."
"Yes, Sir!" Thomas exclaimed happily, slowly puffing towards the tarp. "...Edward?" He asked softly, his voice full of happiness and excitement.
Maria had put an oxygen mask over Edward's mouth and nose, helping him calm down from his panic attack. His eye was still a bit unfocused but was aware of his surroundings. The doctor hummed softly as she gently massaged his face, helping him calm down. She heard Thomas' voice and knew the tank engine wouldn't leave until he heard Edward's voice. Moving in front of his eye, she snapped her fingers until his focus landed on her.
"Edward, I know you didn't want any of your friends here, but please talk to Thomas." Maria said softly, gently rubbing his cheek. "He's been so upset for the past three months, stopping by every day to check up on you. He won't see you but do talk to him for a little bit." She hummed softly as she gently took his oxygen mask off. "He missed you deeply."
Edward blinked at her before looking at the tarp. "...Hello, Thomas…" He spoke softly, his voice weak and hoarse from not speaking much.
Thomas felt the tears slide down his cheeks as he smiled sadly and happily. He heard it, though soft and quiet, he still heard his voice. Edward's voice. His brother. He didn't bother to try to stop his tears as a sob escaped his mouth.
"I was so scared!" Thomas cried out, though keeping his voice quiet. "I-I thought y-you were gone!"
"I...I'm not going anywhere, Thomas…" Edward spoke softly, slowly glancing at the tarp wall next to him. "I'm...I'm still here…" He muttered, a small smile on his face.
Maria smiled slightly as she watched Edward speak a bit, more of listening to Thomas. She frowned slightly as she continued to see the depressed look on his face, writing it down in her notes. She knew that Edward's thereby would take a while but she felt a pit in her stomach. Sighing a bit, she walked over to the heart monitor and studied the readings. His heart was still beating faster than normal, but it calmed down drastically after his panic attack. Walking over to a chair, she sat down and opened a new page in her notebook. Looking up at Edward, she starts to write down exactly what he needs to do for his therapy and for how long. She wants Edward to move around a bit to get used to having half his vision, followed by shunting. She knew that was going to be the biggest obstacle he would do physically since the yards have multiple tracks connecting to each other. Then to have him practice moving a small train while trying to be aware of his surroundings.
Standing up, Maria put her notepad down as she walked over to Edward. Looking at his face, she could see the depressed look he had disappeared for a bit before returning. Frowning a bit, she gently placed her hand on his buffer beam before leaving the secluded area.
"Oh! Good morning, Maria!" Thomas said happily when she emerged.
"Morning Thomas." Maria hummed softly, smiling warmly as she looked at him. "I know you just arrived but I'm afraid that visiting time is over."
"A-Already?" Thomas whimpered as he looked down. "But...But I don't want to leave him!" He cried, feeling fresh tears forming.
"Thomas…" Edward's voice spoke softly, causing the tank engine to look at the tarp. "Please...listen to her…"
"B-But...but Edward…" Thomas whimpered, puffing a bit closer.
"I'll still be right here, Thomas." Edward hummed quietly. "I just...I just need my rest…"
"He's right, Thomas." Maria said softly as she placed her hand on his buffer. "Edward is still weak and needs plenty of rest. You can visit him again later on after your jobs." She smiled reassuringly.
"...Can I, Sir?" Thomas spoke softly as he looked at the Fat Controller.
"Of course, Thomas." S.T.H. chuckled softly as he walked over to him. "You can visit Edward again only when all of your jobs are completed."
"Thank you, Sir!" Thomas wheeshed happily. Looking at the tarp, he puffed as close as he could get and stared at it. "I'll be back later, Edward." He said softly. "I love you, Big Brother."
"...I love you too, Little Brother." Edward said softly in a tired voice.
Smiling brightly, Thomas blew his whistle twice before puffing backward out of the Steamworks. Edward stared at the tarp, hearing Thomas chuff away before slowly lowering his eyes to the floor. He felt completely alone. He felt some enjoyment and wholeness with Thomas here but now, he felt empty once more. The sounds and voices around him seemed to slowly fade away, leaving him in silence as darkness slowly covers his vision.
'YoU mEaN nOtHiNg To ThEm.' That dark and sinister voice echoed in his mind once more. 'ThEy WaNt YoU dEaD.'
"Edward?" Maria asked as she looked up at him, closing the tarp behind her.
Edward quickly snapped back to reality, his eye regaining focus as he looked down at her. "Y-Yes…?" He asked softly, licking his lips a bit.
Maria hummed softly as she walked over to her bag, feeling Edward's curious gaze on her. Pulling out a small jar from her bag, she walked over to Edward and climbed onto his buffer beam. "This cream will help hydrate your lips." She said softly, gently smearing the cool and clear gel onto his lips.
"Thank you…" Edward said softly, watching her jump off his buffer beam.
"Now then, are you ready to start your therapy?" Maria asked as she looked up at him.
"I...I think so." Edward spoke quietly, looking down at her. "It...would be nice to move around a bit."
"And you don't have to worry." Maria smiled warmly at him. "I have a secluded area for you to do your therapy for no one else can see you."
"Thank you...for everything you've done for me." Edward whispered, a slight smile on his face.
"You're welcome, Edward." Maria giggled softly. "I'll make sure you're back to being a useful engine."
Useful. The word echoed in his mind as he remembered what the voice said to him. He was anything but useful. Shaking the thoughts out of his mind, he slowly started to feel relaxed but also a tiny bit of pain as he felt a fire being built in his new firebox. He was expecting some pain when he was told his entire body had to be rebuilt from scratch and...it felt satisfying to him. His eye widened a bit as that thought flew through his tunnel and chose to ignore it. Feeling his right eyelid brush against the gauze made him think that he really was useless right now. Closing his eye, he took a deep breath and slowly let some steam out from under him.
"Oh yes, Edward, there are two people here that will also help you." Maria smiled as she started to pack some of her stuff away.
"Who?" Edward asked softly before noticing two figures walking in. Looking at them, he gasped softly. "Aaron...Bradly." He spoke, shocked at seeing his driver and fireman.
The two stared up at their engine happily, glad to see him fully awake and built. Aaron has short black hair and brown eyes, wearing the typical blue work suit that the other engine crews wore. Around his left wrist is a black brace and a small bandage on his cheek. Bradley has shoulder-length brown hair and green eyes, also wearing the same blue suit as Aaron. He has a faint scar on his forehead and is wearing a boot on his right foot.
"We're so glad to see you awake, Edward." Aaron smiled as he walked over to the engine, petting his buffer.
"You gave us such a fright." Bradley chuckled as he copied Aaron's movements.
"I'm...sorry I got you two injured and worrying you…" Edward said softly, looking down at the floor.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." Aaron said firmly, though his voice was also gentle. "What you did was the bravest thing I've seen anyone and any engine do."
"Don't ever be sorry about protecting Thomas." Bradley stated as he climbed onto his buffer beam. "We only got a little banged up but we were more worried about you. We care about you a lot and were scared that we lost you."
Edward stared at the two in shock before looking down, letting tears fall a bit. He still felt bad that they got hurt, but more so from hearing how much they cared about him. His crew smiled warmly at him, Aaron gently patting his buffers as Bradly gently wiped his tears away.
"Now then, let's get started on your therapy so you can join the others again." Aaron chuckled softly as he and Bradly headed towards his new cab.
Edward sniffed again as he tried to calm down, feeling his crew and fireman get him ready to start his therapy. He wanted to be with his friends, brother, and lover again, he really did but, he also wanted to stay alone. His mind went through thousands of thoughts before groaning a bit as he felt himself move a bit. His wheels and pistons felt stiff as he slowly puffed down the tracks, the soft 'chuffing' sound echoing in the Steamworks as some of the workmen moved the tarps to the side to allow him to pass. Steam flowed out from under him and out of his funnel as he constantly blinked to get used to the sun's light. The sun reflected off of his pale grey body, the lack of pain making him blend into the background of other metal. Edward closed his eye, enjoying the warmth of the sun on his face. He didn't realize how much he missed this warmth as his crew gave him a moment to breathe fresh air. Maria walked next to Victor as he headed over to Edward, making sure he stayed in the secluded area next to the Steamworks.
As Victor stared at Edward, he could faintly see the scars reflect in the sun. He didn't notice them when Edward was inside and was glad that they could only be seen in a certain angle. "You are looking better, my friend." He smiled warmly at him.
Edward went forward a bit, startled from hearing his voice but slowly calmed down. He had spoken to Victor a few times and had a feeling he would help with his therapy. "Thank you, Victor." He said softly, watching how Maria walked in front of him.
"Alright, Edward, for the first hour, we're just going to have you practice moving around the yard to get used to it with half of your vision." Maria hummed as she looked at her clipboard. "Then for two hours, we'll have you practice shunting empty trucks for different purposes. Then you'll have a three hour break before going to shunt trucks that are full." She said before looking up at him. "We'll be doing this for a week and the next week, you will be practicing to pull small trains then go back to shunting till I give you my approval that you are ready."
"Alright but...I-I...I don't want anyone to see me yet…" Edward said softly as he looked down, not ready to face them yet.
"That's why we have this yard blocked and pulling trains when other engines aren't working." Maria smiled warmly as she gently patted his buffer. "Ready to start then?"
"I…" Edward hesitated as he looked at him. "I...I believe so…"
Maria hummed softly as she watched Edward run into Victor again, although gently. Half a month has gone by and it seemed like Edward was getting worse. When they first started his therapy, he was doing exceptionally well but then he had a small panic attack during his break. Since then, he's been bumping trucks hard, panicking on making decisions while pulling a train, and causing some trucks to tip onto their sides. After every failed attempt at his therapy, she noticed the frustrated, panicked, and worried looks on his face as he scolded himself under his breath. It also didn't help that he was forcing himself to stay away, taking small five minute naps. The bags under his eyes were clearly visible as he slowly puffed backward, his gaze to the ground. Both him and Victor were constantly getting small repairs done and Edward always apologizing to the Cuban engine. Sighing a bit, Maria pulled out her notes and started to look over her notes on when they first started.
~~Flashback~~
Maria smiled warmly as she watched Edward slowly shunted the empty trucks in the small yard. She was glad to see him shunting pretty well with only half his vision, not caring he was doing it slowly. She wanted him to start off slowly and eventually increase his speed. Looking at the engine, she noticed how his cheeks were pink, his breathing coming in short pants She expected him to get exhausted quickly from being in a coma for three months. Hearing her timer go off on her phone, she turned it off and walked over to the tired engine.
"It's time for your break, Edward." Maria smiled as she looked up at him.
"B-But...I didn't f-finish shunting all of the t-trucks…" Edward panted tiredly as he looked down at her.
"It's alright." Maria giggled softly. "I wasn't expecting you to finish it right away. This therapy is to help you get in the process of your jobs again. You start off doing as much as you can first and eventually become faster." She hummed softly with a warm smile. "For now, just rest to regain your strength to start with loaded trucks." She said softly as she walked away.
Edward panted softly as he slowly backed into a siding next to the Steamworks. The sun was on the other side, keeping Edward in the shadows of the massive building and cooling him down. He took a deep breath, trying to stop his panting as he felt Aaron and Bradley climbing out of his cabs. His pistons felt sore as his body ached. Getting used to a brand new body was challenging, especially around his boiler. His face felt hotter because of the new metal but he didn't mind. It felt weird moving around again even though everything felt heavier, including his new tender. Closing his eye a bit, he relaxed in the coolness of the shade before looking at his crew.
"You were doing really well, Edward." Aaron smiled as he and his friend looked up at him.
"I guess…" Edward sighed softly, feeling his eyelids get heavy.
"Take a nap." Bradley chuckled softly as he gently pats his buffer. "You deserve it."
"Thank you…" Edward said softly, watching them leave before closing his eye again.
Maria hummed softly as she wrote down his progress in her book, jotting down the date, speed, and trucks he shunted. Pulling out her thermos, she took a sip of her tea as she watched Edward's crew take out their lunchboxes. Hearing her own stomach growl, she pulled out her sandwich and started to eat. About halfway through Edward's resting period, she looked over at the engine and frowned a bit. His face was twisted to one of fear as he slept, his lips moving as he muttered silently. Putting her journal down, she walked over to the engine and inspected him. Soft whimpers escaped his mouth as his breathing picked up in a panicked way. Maria took out a small notepad from her pocket and started to write it down as she heard Aaron and Bradley walking over.
"Is he alright?" Bradley asked worriedly as he glanced up at his friend.
"It appears he's suffering from another nightmare that was plaguing him while he was in a coma." Maria stated as she continued to write in her notepad.
"Can't you help him?" Aaron asked in a concerned voice, going to put his hand on Edward's buffer.
"Don't!" Maria called out, but was a few seconds too late.
The moment Aaron's hand touched his buffer, Edward's eyeshot opened as he screamed in terror. Just like when he has awoken from his coma, his eye was glazed over and unfocused as he looked around. His wheels spun backward as he pressed himself against the buffers behind him. Maria dropped her pen and notepad to the ground, climbing onto his buffer beam as she gently rubbed his cheeks. Aaron and Bradley stared up at the engine in shock, never expecting this from the calm and kind engine they worked with. Maria was talking in a calm and soothing voice, gently massaging his cheeks as she stared into his eyes. His breathing started to slow down as his eye fell onto her form, slowly regaining focus. Maria continued to whisper softly as she watched how he came back to his senses.
After a few minutes of silence, Edward took a shaky breath as he looked down while tears slowly slid down his cheeks. "S-Sorry…" He whispered softly, not wanting to look at them.
"It's alright, Edward." Maria said softly, pulling out her handkerchief and gently patting his tears away. "It's alright."
"It was just a nightmare, Edward." Aaron said softly, both him and Bradley putting their hands on his buffer beam.
~~End Flashback~~
Since then, Edward has been showing a decrease in his therapy. Maria started at the engine sadly, watching how he was once again forcing himself to stay awake. She heard Aaron telling Edward that they should call it a day, seeing the sun starting to set. The look of anger and disappointment on his face was clear as day before returning to his normal, sad-looking self. Agreeing with his crew silently, Edward was uncoupled from the small goods train before puffing towards the Steamworks. Grabbing her stuff, Maria climbed onto Victor's buffer beam and rode with him back into the building. The Steamworks was quiet, the sun setting as it cast an orange glow through the glass. The tarp of the secluded area seemed to glow orange as it opened, allowing Edward to puff back into it. Edward's friends still came by and talked to him, but still have yet to see him. Even while his friends were here, she noticed how he wasn't focused on them, only replying with short and simple sentences. His voice always sounded drained and his face constantly showed how upset he was. The workmen kept the secluded area open, knowing that there would be no other visitors coming to visit Edward for the night.
Edward watched with tired eyes as the workmen tended to the dents and scratches on his buffers and buffer beam. He couldn't count the number of times the workmen worked on his repairs but he didn't care. He was just upset at himself, angry that he couldn't do the simple jobs he enjoyed doing. Throughout his years on Sodor, he was known for being hardworking and reliable, always wanting to help his friends with their jobs when asked to. But now, he just felt like he was nothing but junk.
'OlD iRoN.'
Edward winced as the twisted voice spoke in his mind, mimicking Gordon's voice as he said those two words. He grew used to being called that by the number 4 engine but is starting to believe that's what he really is. His model was old and the newer engines are built stronger and faster than he ever was. He saw himself as a waste of space on Sodor's railway, easily naming off the other engines who were perfect in replacing him.
Maria looked at Edward with a concerned face, watching him stare outside in a daze as tears formed in his eye. Since she arrived almost four months ago, she has told stories of how Edward was calm and kind, proud of who he was, and happy working and living on Sodor. The engine in front of her was the complete opposite of what she was told. All she saw was an engine that was broken and looked ready to give up. She knew that the nightmares he was having were the cause of this but knew she can't do anything about it. She can tell him that they were nightmares and nothing else, but something about them was different. They were affecting him deeper in his mind, causing the drastic change in his mental state. Remembering what S.T.H. told her, she pulled out her laptop and turned it on. She typed in the place where Edward was built and looked for an article on the accident that happened so many years ago.
"Accident at Atlas Works...ten human deaths and one engine death…" Maria muttered under her breath, clicking on the article.
"What are you reading?" Aaron asked as he and Bradley walked over to her.
"An article about an accident Edward saw at the place he was built." Maria hummed as her eyes scanned the webpage. "This is probably causing Edward to act like this."
"But why now?" Bradley asked in confusion. "He was never like this before."
"Because he pushed it deep into his mind, but the accident he was just in caused it to resurface." Maria stated as she looked at them. "Sometimes when a person, or in this case an engine, falls into a coma, sometimes the brain will cause past memories to appear, and sadly this memory showed up." She sighed as she rubbed her eyes. "Why he didn't react to it was from years of keeping it away, making him forget."
"But since he was in his coma, he was probably reliving it…" Aaron muttered quietly under his breath, looking at the ground sadly.
"NO!"
The three humans jumped at Edward's yell, looking over at said engine. Edward glared down at the workman, his eye full of anger, disappointment, and worry. The workman quickly backed away from the angered engine, watching as a large amount of steam wheeshed out from under him. Tears were falling down his cheeks as he gritted his teeth. His eye widened when he saw the workman instead of a shadowed mass and looked down, ashamed. He never yelled at humans before and he didn't want to either. He was so lost in his mind that he didn't realize that he was still in the Steamworks. He clenched his eye shut tightly, a quiet sob escaping his mouth as he slowly puffed backward.
"I-I'm sorry…" Edward spoke ever so quietly, looking down as he stopped moving.
Maria, Aaron, and Bradley quickly ran over to him, Maria checking him over as his crew tried to comfort him. He felt sick to his boiler now, the tears flowing more freely as he tried to stop them. He felt Maria try to remove his tears but more continued to fall. The soft voices of his crew provided little comfort as he continued to hate himself. He just wanted this to end, he wanted to go back to Tidmouth, to his friends, to his lover, to his brother. He wanted to be useful to Sir Topham Hatt's railway again, not a useless engine who couldn't even shunt anymore. The voice in his head constantly torments him, telling him things that he's tried to ignore, but knows that the voice is right. He felt tired, drained, useless, and just wanted it to end. He didn't want any others to deal with a useless engine. He didn't want Thomas to have a pathetic brother such as himself.
"I-I...I didn't mean…" Edward choked out, feeling himself finally reaching his breaking point. "I...didn't mean to y-yell…" He sobbed, everything crashing in his mind as he came to terms with what the voice kept telling him.
"It's alright, Edward, honestly." The workman reassured him in a quiet voice, walking up to him. "It's alright. I know you didn't mean it." He spoke softly, gently rubbing his buffers.
After a few minutes, Edward sniffed a bit as he tried to calm his breathing down. His tears were still falling but not as much as they were. He felt empty, the voice in his head louder before as his surroundings felt like a grey blur. Edward's crew and the workman looked at Edward worriedly, never seeing an engine break down in such a hurtful way. Maria hummed softly as she gently massaged his cheeks, knowing it's an area to help an engine calm down without the use of drugs. She isn't as shocked to see his breakdown, having seen plenty before on past engines. She knew this one was a special case for all of Sodor looked up to Edward, seeing him as a mentor, a teacher, and a friend.
"...I really am useless…" Edward muttered under his breath, staring at the ground.
"You are not useless." Aaron said firmly, looking up at him. "You are one of the most hard-working engines on Sodor and everyone cares about you."
"Hard-working…" Edward scoffed, a sad laugh leaving his lips. "I'm anything but that now...I can't even shunt empty trucks anymore…"
"You were in a coma for three months, Edward." Bradley stated, standing next to Aaron. "You had your body completely replaced, of course, it's going to be hard for a bit. That's what the therapy is fo-"
"I'm half blind!" Edward shouted, glaring at him with a broken face. "I've crashed into Victor too many times because I can't SEE!" He sobbed as he clenched his eyes shut. "How can I be useful if I can't see half of the yard…?"
"There are ways to help you learn to adjust." Maria hummed softly, making him look at her. "It just takes time to learn it."
"No…" Edward muttered as he looked down. "I can't learn it...there's no reason why I should…"
"You are Sodor's number 2 engine, one of the first ones who worked on this railway and helps others." Aaron pointed out. "You have thousands of reasons why you should. Sir Topham Hatt wants you back, along with Thomas, Henry, and the others. They all love and miss you deeply."
"Especially Thomas." Bradley said softly, gently patting his buffer. "He's the one suffering the most without you with him, followed by Henry. You play an important role in both of their lives."
"I'm old…" Edward pointed out sadly. "I'm unreliable and will cause nothing but accidents…" He whispered sadly, his voice broken.
"Edward...you're not any of that." Aaron stated, tears falling down his own cheeks at seeing the engine he's worked with for so many tears breaking down. "You're a really useful engine."
"That saying...how someone would sacrifice themselves to help those they love…" Edward whispered sadly. "...I made my sacrifice to protect my brother...I sacrifice my vision...my usefulness...for he can continue to live and to work on this railway…"
"Edward...you didn't sacrifice anything." Bradley cried as he placed his forehead against his buffer beam. "You protected Thomas and you both are still here. You are still useful and loved."
'DiSgRaCeFuL.'
'DiSgUsTiNg.'
'DeSpIcAbLe.'
The dark and twisted versions of Gordon's James', and even Henry's voices echoed in his mind, adding pain and guilt in his heart as he felt himself fall deeper into the darkness of his mind. He knows the shadowy figure that's drowning him in darkness and he wanted to break free, but couldn't find the will to fight against it anymore. Gordon's words from years ago, about how he should be preserved, echoed within his mind once again. No. He wasn't worth being preserved. Edward slowly looked out of the Steamwork's main entrance, watching how the sky was turning dark and faint stars slowly becoming visible. He didn't want anyone to see him, especially in his useless state.
"I can't anymore…" Edward muttered, causing everyone to look at him worriedly and fearful. "...I can't be useful again…" He stated, his voice sounding completely broken. "I want to go where no one will find me...where I can be forgotten…"
"We're not doing that!" Aaron cried as he looked at him. "We're not going to abandon you somewhere and let you rust away!"
"...Alright."
Edward's crew and the workmen stared at Maria in shock, a look of disbelief in their eyes as they watched her climb down Edward's buffer beam. Her face was emotionless as she walked towards his cab, the steam swirling around her as she walked through it. Bradley glared at her, tears flowing down his cheeks as he walked over to her, tightly grabbing her arm.
"The hell is wrong with you!?" Bradley cried as he glared at him. "You were brought here to help him. Not to abandon him somewhere!"
"I am helping him." Maria said calmly, being quiet for Edward won't hear them. "What's happening to Edward now is a storm that is affecting him mentally. Whatever is going on in his mind, he's trying to fight against it but is losing to whatever it is. Him going to a place where he won't feel confined will help prepare him for the battle of his mind and heart." She hummed as she turned to look at him. "He needs this the most, more so than constantly being told what's real and isn't real." She said as she watched Aaron walk over as well. "The battle Edward is facing is just getting started and he's going to need a calm and quiet area to help him. I've seen something like this before and trust me, it will help him."
"...Please bring him back." Aaron said quietly, gently making Bradley let go of her arm.
Maria looked at Edward before sighing a bit. "He will be back, either as himself or a different version of himself. That part of Edward will be determined on who wins."
Aaron and Bradley stared at her, tears falling as they nodded. Maria walked over towards her stuff, grabbing her back with some clothes, a few water bottles, and snacks. She grabbed a duffle bag as well and carried it back over to Edward's cab. Tossing the bags in, she climbed up as well and started to shovel more coal in Edward's firebox. More steam wheesed out from out of him like a thick cloud of steam flowed out of his funnel. Edward watched as the workmen cleared the tracks before slowly moving. The soft 'chuffing' sound once again echoing within the Steamworks as he silently left. The moon's early rays reflected off of his paintless body, blending him against the scenery as he silently puffed down the tracks. Edward stared down at the tracks, his eye full of sadness as he stared up at the starry sky as he puffed further away from Steamworks in the dark of night.