(***)
Images of disheveled heads plagued his slumber. The looks on the faces of the other attackers when he squished the biggest person in the horde like a fucking bug. Then her face looked at him.
"Ka-wa-ki" she gasped out, coughing blood. "Do-n't let De-n-ki di-e" she said before her eyes rolled back.
(***)
He awoke with a mighty gasp, tears flowing down from his face. Panting heavily.
He looked at his right hand, it was clean, yet images of it covered in blood plagued his mind.
Kawaki started to scream in terror. His mind chanting 'I killed' repeatedly.
Stumbling out of his bed Kawaki ran to the nearest sink and turned it on. "GET OFF! GET OFF!" he screamed as more tears started to more tears and images of those he killed came.
He used his nails to dig into his skin, trying to rip of the imaginary dried blood. His skin went raw at the repeated attempts of scratching.
He started to hyperventilate and shake uncontrollably. "IT WONT COME OFF!" he screamed as he clutched his fists and banged them on the sink with no care for holding back.
The porcelain sink cracks and detached from the wall, it smashed into lots of small pieces upon impact with the ground.
"Kawaki-shonen!" a deep voice from behind him shouted.
Kawaki turned around with a crazed look on his face to look at a skeleton looking man.
He lost his footing and fell onto his knees and palms and started to pant heavily. Kawaki was assaulted by all sorts of senses, the smell of the nurses' office, the feeling of the cold ground and his legs being slowly surrounded by water, the sounds of the tap water hitting the floor violently, the skeleton person shouting something and the sound of his own scream above everything else. The sight of his tears dropping onto the floor.
All the stress of having the knowledge of the future on his shoulders, his self-imposed burden to help the entire hero course become better versions of themselves at a faster rate, the emotional scar that he received not too long ago. All the feelings he has bottled up, all the memories of the old world.
He looked downwards as the water surrounded his hands and connected with the puddles of tears that he had made. His desperate expression was what was reflected, begging someone to save him.
"Nobody's going to save her boy!"
Those words echoed through his entire being.
"Nobody will come to save you either, in this world everybody looks after themselves first, YOU need to SAVE YOURSELF"
"SHUT UP!" he screamed in response out of desperation and what little hope he had left.
"Not in this world of fakes and greed"
"SHUT UP!" Kawaki screamed again as more tears leaked out of his eyes.
"There's only one true hero in this world who can save you, and he can't save you right now! Because he is on the other side of Japan!"
"Sh-shut up" Kawaki croaked as dread and guilt cemented itself within Kawaki once more.
The sound of the tap flowing stopped, as did the sound of the water hitting the ground.
Kawaki found himself being picked up by the shoulders and embraced in a warm hug from a towering figure.
"It's okay Kawaki-shonen" the figure said as Kawaki started to cry into whatever fabric his head was pressed against. "It's okay because I am here"
Sniffling, Kawaki began to talk. "All Might?" he started. "A-am I a… Am I a bad person?"
"What makes you ask that?" All Might replied, lightly stroking the boy's head.
"I… killed those villains… those people" Kawaki said as he hiccupped. "I ended their existence"
"There is no righteous man on earth who does good and never sins" All Might quoted. "It's from Ecclesiastes 7:20, I am no religious man myself, but this quote is what I think best describes a hero's struggle"
Kawaki took a deep breath in and then exhaled.
"You did what you thought was right at the time, and you saved many lives in doing so, in fact you allowed Eraserhead to escape from the clutches of that beast" All Might explained. "You may have just saved his life"
"But at the cost of another… and that last kill… I made him suffer… he said he was going to kill Denki and I lost it" Kawaki croaked out.
"That is the dilemma heroes must face… which life is more valuable, a civilian or another hero's vs the life of a villain. As my time as a hero, I have never faced an obstacle so heavy, and no matter what everyone tells you to do… it's up to you to decide if one life is worth more than another… or to get strong enough so that you do not have to make that decision"
"T-Thank you" Kawaki whispered as he closed his eyes. "Thank you All Might"
Unknown to both parties an indigo haired teenager leant against a wall on the outside, having heard everything. He turned around and planted his head on the wall. 'If only I weren't so shy, so pathetic maybe I could have helped him'
His phone buzzed and he pulled it out, it was from his mentor.
'Be sure to have a look for anyone that would fit right into our family' his mentor's words echoed through his brain.
(***)
Kawaki awoke once more, this time without a nightmare.
He found himself chained to the bed. Kawaki tugged on the chains but they didn't budge.
"It's for your own safety" a voice said, Kawaki looked up and saw a man having one arm in a cast, and the other in a sling. His tired voice could be recognised anywhere.
"I'm here to talk with you about your decision to help me in the USJ, and your mental state" Aizawa stated. "It was reckless and plain dumb for you to charge in like that"
Kawaki nodded.
"You killed villains that could have had information about the attack, which was also a minus" he stated as Kawaki looked down.
"I am not justifying killing, but it becomes less criminal when it is done in defence of another" he stated looking at his depressed student. "The deaths where a result of you not being able to hold back, and it isn't expected that you hold back in situations like that, but you are still a hero in training and need to listen to us teachers, we can help you"
"That being said, as your teacher I will help you control your power" Aizawa stated, causing Kawaki to look up at him with eyes full of hope. "I will also help you control your emotions, I know about the trauma that you have gone through lately because of the Saitama Incident, and if you need to talk to someone I am here for that as your teacher"
"And as Eraserhead… I thank you for freeing me from the Nomu, god knows what would have happened to me if you didn't" he said with a genuine smile.
"At that time you reminded me of a quote by Sun Tzu "In the midst of chaos, there is also opportunity." He stated looking to the window. "And now you remind me of another, If the mind is willing, the flesh could go on and on without many things."
Eraserhead stood up and walked over to the bed while fishing out a key in his pocket. "The sports festival is in two weeks, are you willing?"
Kawaki grinned as Eraserhead unlocked the bindings. "I am willing"
Aizawa took a step back and grinned. "Good, because your training starts now"
(***)
Review Response:
Crywolfseven: I can understand where you are coming from, Kawaki's quirk is indeed one of the more overpowered ones in the universe, and i want it to be like that, if you put it into perspective, If shoto used his entire quirk at 100% without restraint in the USJ he could have killed many villains, even Kirishima and Bakugo can kill, Kirishima can harden his fingers to the point where they can peirce skin, backed up by how he got his scar, Bakugo is pretty self explainatory. As for his level, he isnt the strongest in U.A, or even his class for that matter. And like All Might explained in the exam arc, it is harder for a Level 50 to level up in comparison to a level 10, think of Bakugo, Shoto and Kawaki as those level 50's.
The whole point of the rampage was meant to show case how powerful Kawaki, or someone that has a simialar combat ability can be without restraint, which is one of his problems, restraint.
As for opponants, Kawaki is probably more powerful in terms of RAW power, his quirk like Todoroki's or Bakugo probably has more RAW power than Best Jeanist's or and Edgeshot's. If you think of the Stain fight, Todorki could have easliy defeated him, but dude to other factors he couldnt, like Ida on the ground, Midoriya zipping about and the unkown of Stain's quirk. If you are worried that there are no enemies that will push him, don't, because i can assure you, that there will be challenges coming to Kawaki.
As for slowing down the story, i'm going as slow as i can. The whole rushed nature of the USJ was meant to illustrate how fast things can go when relying on primal instincts, like an adrenaline rush. For example when you are having fun, or focused you pay more attention to the objective and care less about the time, the same thing can be applied to Kawaki's perspective of the USJ. Also the thing that made the USJ as long as it was, was the mutliple perspectives thar the Anime and Manga focused on, this fic focus's on Kawaki's unqiue experience of the USJ.
Not once did i think that you where 'tagging' on my story. sorry i dont know what you meant, but i assume it had something to do with negative connotations. I welcome any and all opinions, and am greatful for your lengthy review, as it gives me insight into what my readers are feeling or thinking.
If you all have any questions related to the chapter posted, don't hesitate to ask! I'll try to answer to the best of my ability without spoiling anything!
Review pls
C U Next Time!
-O