Chapter 4: Burn the floors

I do not own One Piece or any of these characters.
This fanfiction does not encourage crime or violence and is merely done for the plot and so on.

TW: Dissociation/Derealization (Bad description)

Ace stared at the ceiling panting heavily, eyes widened with fear, as loud snores echoed along the walls, while the younger boy was clinging to him, tangled in the thick blanket. Dim light illuminated from the walls, the small fire still burning, a nice smell of coffee accompanying the burnt smell filled the room, as the two laid on a dark blue couch. The storm was noisy, as the landscape was barely visible because of the strong snowstorm. The cold was easier to handle, as it wasn't as freezing as outside in the small bar they were currently sleeping in.

It was around 3 A.M, way past midnight, as Ace had been woken by a nightmare. The fire. The sensations. The heat. The dread. The screaming.
Everything had felt so real. He grimaced, as he hugged Luffy closer to him, the other letting out a soft hum. Gritting his teeth, he closed his eyes again, the image of fire surrounding him and Luffy flashing in his mind, Luffy screaming, as he was tortured by the pirate by the name Bluejam with a large wooden cub.

It didn't happen, he told himself, opening his eyes, to stare at Luffy's face. His heart was racing, he couldn't breathe, his whole body felt as if he was on fire and despite his mind screaming that it was just a dream over and over again, he couldn't help, but feel, as if it had actually happened right there. But it wasn't real. Luffy was tortured by Polchemy who should be dead. Bluejam was dead. They were all dead. They had died in the fire. He had made sure of that.

Sighing he turned away from Luffy, thinking. Jessica had listened to them, or to be specific, she listened to Luffy spilling everything, how they had no food anymore, how they lived alone, and thank the sea that he hadn't revealed anymore, credits to Ace slapping his hand over Luffy's mouth, hissing at him to be quiet. He didn't need the Marine prying into their business.

Ace was grateful, he really was, but he just couldn't find himself trusting Jessica. What if she had somehow recognized Ace? What if she knew? What if she had somehow found out, even with the little information they had revealed? He was suspicious of her, seeing as she had opened the bar just for some random teen and child that weren't even hers. She even gave them a discount on the food and allowed them to stay here. Sure, Ace was grateful, he even bowed, thanking her politely, as Makino had taught him, but...

If it weren't for Luffy, Ace would have left immediately. He just couldn't help, but feel uneasy, as she smiled at him kindly. Was she planning something? Was she going to separate them? Ace gritted his teeth, shifting to sit up. He continued to stare out the window, as thoughts raced through his mind. Ace didn't trust the Marine, that much was obvious. Even with that Shitty Gramps being one, he still despised them. Justice, my ass, he scowled. Go bow down to those Celestial fuckers and lick their shoes clean, for all I care.

And you Shitty Gramps, can suck up to their asses. Protect those who killed your fucking grandson. He clenched his fists, twisting the blanket, white hot anger nagging at his mind, as he closed his eyes. Celestial Dragons or whatever, they kill children, but it's not like it's the Marine's fucking business, right? Ace was trembling, his breath quickened, as he let hatred wash over him.

...

"Breathe, Ace. Slowly, breathe in and out", Makino had told him, her voice incredibly calming and soothing, her warm hand drawing circles on his back. "It's nice that you want to learn manners to thank Shanks, but you'll have to be patient, alright?" He huffed, following her instructions. It was silent for a moment, before he sighed.

As Ace had turned to her, the frustration leaving him, she smiled warmly. "See? You did extremely well!"

...

Ace opened his eyes again, as a soft whimper coming from his left interrupted his thoughts. He quickly turned to Luffy, almost so fast, he was afraid that he might break his neck. Luffy's eyebrows were scrunched up, a slight grimace on his pale face, as he clawed at Ace's arms, his nails boring into his skin. Ace flinched, ignoring the mild pain, as a wave of worry washed over him.

"Luffy? Lu? C'mon, wake up", he spoke softly, shaking the other who was shivering. "It's me, Ace. We're in Jessica's bar, alright?", he said, as calm as possible, but he couldn't keep the fear out of his voice.

Luffy opened his eyes slightly. "...A-Ace?", he whispered, sitting up, as he rubbed his eyes. "Lu? Look at me, alright?", Ace muttered quietly, but loud enough for Luffy to hear. Luffy did so, his eyes tired and teary.

"Lu? I want you to tell my what you saw, alright?" Luffy nodded, droopily. Then he sat up straight, his eyes shot open, as he seemed to remember his dream.

"We-We were with Sabo and we had sake", he mumbled, Ace nodded gesturing for Luffy to go on, as he ran his fingers through Luffy's hair, trying to comfort him, as good as possible. "Then...Then there was fire...", he croaked, tears threatening to fall, as Ace scooted closer, putting his arms around the younger who clung to Ace's shirt, as if his life depended on it.

Ace sighed, ignoring the snot, as Luffy snuggled his face into Ace's shirt, patting him on the back. He seriously wanted to tell Luffy off because of that, but seeing as that definitely wasn't going to make him feel better, he let Luffy be. Loud sniffs interrupted the short silence, as Luffy trembled, Ace feeling his, now wet, shirt sticking to his own skin. The storm had long calmed down, the window had stopped clattering.

"...Are you crying?", he asked, raising an eyebrow in question, even though Luffy couldn't see him. Luffy shook his head, as Ace let out a quiet laugh. "M' not!", he grumbled, as Ace sighed patting Luffy on the head. "Lu, it's fine, alright? Just this once"

Immediately painful sobs came from the younger boy, as he wheezed, his back rising and sinking with the sobs. "...C'n we..can we...", Luffy sobbed, before stopping, eyes widening with pain, as tears continued to fall. Concern flashed through Ace's eyes, as he froze. "Luffy? What's wrong?", Ace pulled away from the embrace, as he observed his brother who coughed and seemed to have troubles breathing. Panic and fear seemed to catch up to him, as he sat still unable to do anything. What was wrong with Luffy? Was he hurt? Was he poisoned? He gritted his teeth. What to do, what to do, what to do, what to do,What to do, what to do, what to do, what to do, what to-

"Breathe, Ace. Slowly, breathe in and out"

Relief washed over him, as quickly remembering what Makino had done to help him calm down again. "Breathe, Luffy. Slowly, breathe in and out", he repeated over and over again, drawing circles on Luffy's back, trying to do exactly what Makino had done. He continued speaking, as Luffy's breath became slower and steadier, Ace smiled, thanking the skies and the seas."Now, what's wrong?"

It was silent, as Luffy stared at the floor, tears dripping and mumbling quietly, before finally speaking up.

"...Can we go back? Want t' see the place where we b'came brothers", Luffy replied, sniffing, while wiping away his tears as quickly as they came again.

Ace breathed out, his gaze softening. "Sure. We'll just have to get on our coats and everything, alright?" Luffy nodded, beaming at Ace. "Shishishishi! Thanks, Ace!", he laughed. This boy has mood swings like the weather in April, Ace would have thought, if he wasn't so busy dying because of how happy and cute his brother looked.

Closing the door quietly behind him, Ace stepped out in the cold with Luffy behind him, as he looked around carefully.

The storm had calmed down earlier, the timing almost too perfect to be a coincidence. Almost. It was still snowing a little, smaller snowflakes than before falling to the, with snow, white painted floor, the moon barely peeking out from the blankets of clouds.

The wind was calmer, however, it was still cold. The air, freezing, felt like a thousand needles were poking at Ace's skin, his feet began to feel number, as he sniffed. He took a few steps further away from the door that belonged to the warm place, they were given food at.

Then Ace stopped, as he noticed the warmth in his hand missing, turning around. "Luffy?", he whispered, eyes narrowed in nervousness which immediately faded away, when his gaze fell onto the mentioned boy, staring at his feet. "What's wrong?"

"Look, Ace. Sabo is up there, right?", he exclaimed innocently, pointing at the glinting stars, crowded together like a bunch of birds, hanging from the sky, the clouds completely gone now. Ace's breath hitched, he felt the feelings of hopelessness catch up to him, more and more, ready to stab him a thousandfold, ready to leave him behind to bleed from the suffocating pain in the snow, as the images of the nightmare buried itself deeper into his mind.

Sabo's grin flashed in his mind, suddenly fire engulfing the blond, Ace's breath quickening. "...What the hell do you mean?"

Luffy grinned, his pearly white teeth showing. "Makino once said that the dead go to the sky and turn into stars! She said, they watch over their beloved. So that must mean, Sabo's up there too, right?"

I can't breathe.

"...There must be a lot of dead here then"

It hurts.

"EH?! Wait, you're right!"

It hurts so much.

"Of course, I'm right, stupid. I don't talk as much shit as you do"

Why does it still hurt?

"I'm not stupid, you idiot!"

Why am I not over it yet?

"..."

Why am I so weak?

"Aceee?"

Then nothing.

It felt like Silence was holding their hands over Ace's ears. It felt like Sight was holding their hands over Ace's eyes. It felt like Touch had left him in the cold that didn't feel that cold anymore.

His sight was so blurry, was he crying? He didn't know. He didn't care. Luffy looked to be saying something. But he wasn't saying anything, he sounded like he was humming instead. Was he? He didn't know. He didn't care. Ace staggered backwards, as Luffy stared at him with wide eyes.

He was drifting away further and further from reality with every step he took backwards, as his breathing turned into heavy wheezing. Ace wanted to run, but his legs just wouldn't move how he wanted them to. It was as if his body didn't belong to him anymore, his limbs were numb, as he stared at his one anchor to reality, his one reason to live, only for the image of the fire flashing in his mind. Why did he want to run anyways?, he'd normally think.

But it was as if he couldn't. He couldn't think normally.

His body felt numb. His feelings and emotions felt numb. It was as if a wall was blocking them from letting him feel them.

He didn't feel like he was existing anymore. He didn't feel like the world was real anymore. He didn't feel like he was alive anymore.

Was this even real? Was he even actually here? What if he was dead? What if he had already died back then in the fire? What if Luffy wasn't even real? What if Luffy wasn't actually there too? What if Luffy was just an illusion? Why was everything spinning?

Where even was he? Ace remembered that he Luffy and him had been staying here with her. But who was her? Where was her? Why did he come here with Luffy in the first place?

What was he doing just now? He couldn't remember, his mind was too foggy, as Ace seemed to get lost in there more and more.

"ACE!", Luffy screamed. But why did he sound so far away, when he was right in front of him? Was Luffy even actually in front of him? Ace could feel something hit him, but he wasn't sure what it was. He couldn't feel any pain anymore.

"ACE!", someone seemed to yell. It was an unfamiliar voice.

Something hit him again.

This time it felt cold, but it seemed to turn colder and colder the more time it took.

Silence had lifted their hands. Sight had lifted their hands. Touch had returned to him. It was slow, very slow, but Ace could somehow feel his limbs again, as his mind regained his memories again.

He saw Luffy again, his wild black hair sticking out in every direction, he felt the cool again, even more so the freezing snow on his cheek that Luffy looked to have thrown, he heard the frantic crying of his brother again, his younger brother who was kicking him, shaking him, as if his life depended on it. Ace couldn't believe he had forgotten Luffy, his heart feeling so heavy, as guilt seemed to hold onto it, as if hanging from a cliff. "...Luffy?"

Luffy's head snapped upwards so fast, Ace would have been afraid that Luffy had accidentally broken his neck, if it weren't for the devil fruit Luffy possessed. "A-Ace! I thought-I thought you died! I seriously thought you died while standing! You didn't respond at all and you wouldn't react!", the younger cried, hugging Ace, as if there was no tomorrow, as the latter patted the younger boy's head carefully, his arms feeling oddly tired, but also numb from the extreme cold.

Frowning Ace glanced to the small bar, the lights still out except for the small light source from the corner that seemed to be fire. "...Jessica didn't wake up, right?", Ace whispered, to which Luffy responded with a 'Nope', before he stared into Ace's eyes. Luffy scowled and Ace could feel slight nervousness nagging at his mind, as Luffy's gaze seemed to darken even more.

Suddenly Luffy put his hand on Ace's shoulder and nodded, confusing the older even more. "Let's go, Ace! I'm hungry!", he exclaimed, grinning brightly. Ace couldn't help, but feel a piece of the burden being lifted from his shoulders, as he smirked back, however not answering. The silence was enough this time and Luffy seemed to stay even closer to Ace, if that was possible, as if trying to comfort him.

Ace smiled.

His smile dropped as soon as he heard unfamiliar voices, upon arriving near the tree stump.

A/N: Yay, finally this chapter has come to an end. My motivation was definitely lacking and my wonderful mood too. There is a lot of bad description of dissociation, so if anyone knows that it's a bit different, feel free to correct me, since I don't really know anyone with that disorder.

I randomly started crying today because I felt way too nervous about something, so that is obviously the reason for the mood in the drain down there. Sob Story aside (Pun intended), that took two months out of me all because I don't want to write anymore, but at the same time I want to continue my story. By the way, have you noticed that the chapter titles are a poem? I wrote it my- very- self! (Hush, let me flex)

While writing, I listened to music, to try and keep my ass motivated:

-fool (Cavetown)

-W.D.Y.W.F.M (The Neighbourhood)

-take a slice (glass animals)

-cliche (mxmtoon)

And we all know that I'm just doing this to increase the word count.