Ezra knew something like this would happen. Like all kids, he hoped if he ignored the possibility than it would dissapear or just be forgotten in the cornor. Low and behold, it would of course come out during jedi training of all things. Kanan is the one who brought it up as an idea. Something small that could work for Ezra and something that most padawans did. Kanan assigned Ezra a journal.
After coming back from a fairly simple mission on a planet with a large market. Kanan presented Ezra a book. It was a thick orange leather bound book. Confused, when Ezra opened it, he noticed all the pages in the book were blank. Not being able to figure out it's use or Kanan's excitment, he looked to his teacher and allowed his confusion to flow through their bond. Another skill they had been working on lately that Ezra had almost mastered beyond what Kanan could teach.
Understanding his confusion, Kanan explained that many padawans would have visions in their sleep and would keep a Journal close by. If one was strong enough in the force, they would even get these visions while doing everyday meditation or even chores. Most of the time, Jedi had to train for years to get reliable visions but being able to feel the difference between force dreams and regular dreams was a must for the begining of that training.
What felt like a cold stone settled in the bottom of Ezra's stomach. He began to expain to Kanan the basic problem with him owning a journal of any kind but Kanan own happiness blocked out Ezra's uncertainty in the master/apprentice bond. He settled with a small nervous smile and asked what he was suppose to write in it. As Kanan told his student he wanted him to write about his dreams and any odd feelings he got throughout the day.
He was not to wait on the evening to write them down either. Kanan gave specific instructions that if Ezra got one of his feelings, he was to stop what he was doing for a moment and write in the book. That meant he had to find a way to keep it on his at all times. That was an easier lesson to learn and helped ease some of the anxiety. Kanan taught him to tie specail knots with rope around the book and fasten it to his belt.
It was a little bulky but the weight was not much and Ezra was not suppose to bring it on missions. Ezra was already trying to think of ways to "accidently" lose the book when Kanan stopped and gave him "that" look. The one where Ezra could not tell if he was reading his mind or not. Ezra was not sure if it was a Jedi thing or an adult thing because many of the adults in his life had that look mastered. All his parents had to do when he was younger was give him "the look" and he would confess everything sin in his life.
So operation lose the thing was lost before it begun. Kanan could not understand where Ezra's reluntance came from. When he was a padawan, the journal's were a way of bonding between master and apprentice. It was able to point out questions the students did not know they had and often uncovered hidden talents in seeing through the force or other abilities younglings did not think to report. After all, if the youngling had always had the ability, they would see no reason to think not everybody could do it.
Ezra took the book and pen Kanan had given him back to his room to think. Currently he was sitting on his bed thinking about how to get around writing in the book. After a few minutes of thinking himself in circles, he heard a muffled bang coming from across the hall. Sabine was apparently working on her exposives. Good old Sab...Wait a second.
That could work. It was a solid plan and Sabine probably wouldn't mind. In fact, she would probably be ecstatic about the interest. The more Ezra thought about his new plan, the more fool-proof it seemed to be. Mind made up, he went to Sabine's cabin to ask for colored pencils or crayons.
After he explained most of why he wanted to borrow the colors, Sabine happily loaned him an old set she had lying around. He felt a little bad for not telling her the whole story but she did not seem to realize he withheld something important. He had no intention of telling anyone on the ghost if he could help it, not even Kanan. It was a little on the embarrassing side but nothing that could cause harm in his eyes.
About a week after Ezra was given the book he was already used to to extra weight on his side. He no longer bumped his arm against it when he walked. either. Kanan had told him that morning that he would like to see if Ezra had made any entries in it yet and that alone made Ezra slightly nervous. He had made a couple about some dreams but nothing that really stood out to him.
It was the portrayal that made Ezra nervous. After a full day of thinking how he would present his book, he figured the most direct way would be the best. He also decided he needed to come clean about his problem. The ghost were like a family, they would never laugh or scorn him for this. At least he hoped not. So mind made up, his chores were done and it was time to face Kanan.
Kanan sensed Ezra's determination from all the way down the hall. That child was very strong in the force indeed. Kanan had been bonded with his own master but he did not remember if he ever felt her emotions as strongly as he did Ezra's. Ezra felt so strongly about so much. Kanan did not know if his emotions would simmer in time or just keep growing. These thoughts made Kanan's own determination that much stronger to teach Ezra to become the master he never was.
Taking a deep breath Ezra knocked on his teacher's door and waited to be invited in. Kanan must have sensed him coming because the answer was prompt and the door swung open. Ezra figured it was better to get this out of the way first because he knew he would not be able to concentrate with training with this secret hanging over his head.
He took one more deep breath and unfastened the book from his waist. He presented his work to his teacher and prepared for judgement. Kanan took the book and opened it up to the first page. What greeted him was not what he was expecting. He just stared at the first page for a few minutes, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Was it possible Ezra did not understand what Kanan had wanted? Was he taking the assignment seriously?
A tentative feeling through the bond told Kanan about Ezra turmoil. Kanan sensed his Padawan had an explanation but did not want to share it. Kanan closed the book and lead his apprentice to the cornor of the room Kanan Meditated in. After assuming his position and determining Ezra was in his own modified position, Kanan finally spoke one word. "Expain."
He made sure not to sound irritated or or judgemental. To be either of these things was not the Jedi way. Ezra prodded Kanan with the force before he spoke but only felt the neutral feelings Kanan was putting up for him to feel. He looked Kanan in the eyes and confessed something he never thought he would have to worry able. "Well, You wanted me to do the journal and I wanted to do it but i've been on the streets for years" Ezra started.
"I could not exactly find anyone to teach me how to read. Nobody really paid attention to what I was doing anyway and I did not think I needed to learn" Ezra continued to explain. "When I was younger, I drew pictures in the journal my parents gave me. Can I just do that with this book too?" Ezra questioned. Now Kanan was the one to start feeling nervous.
Of course the boy had not had a proper education. He had been on the street so long and he was put there before he could get more than the bare basics of the skills. Even after joining the crew, they do their debriefings together and Ezra just recently recieved his holopad. No one on the ghost thought it was strange that he always asked about what he wanted to know. He never seemed like it bothered him to ask, so nobody else even questioned why he would need to instead of reading it off the reports.
Ezra's sat infront of his teacher waiting for the dissapointment to finally sink in but now it was his turn to be surprised. He felt Kanan reach for him through their bond and when he reached back, Ezra felt nothing but understanding for his predicament. He also felt an apology but could not figure out why.
Now that his problem was out in the open and Kanan knew how to help, they jumped right into planning for the new hiccup in Ezra's training. At the first part of training, Ezra would work with Kanan with his reading. He knew some basic so they did not have to start completely from scratch. Hera could get the boy workbooks to work with on his own time and improve what he knew.
The rest of today's lesson included finding out exactly what Ezra needed to learn. He was pretty decent with numbers but that should have been obvious with him working with the black market from time to time. It was not as bad as Kanan feared but it would still be a lot of work to catch the boy up with what he had to know. They also discussed the colorful pictures Ezra had drawn in his journal.
The assignment was not a complete bust and the two decided Ezra would keep the Journal. He could expain the pictures for now and transition over to words as he learned them. Ezra explained the one he had when he was younger and Kanan hoped they would have time to grab them next time they were on Lothal.
Eventually Kanan would expain to the boy what he thought his parents had in mind for him and about his own suspicions about their rules, but for the moment the important thing was to learn the rules Ezra used to survive one at a time. They may even have a clear picture of who the boy is but for now, Kanan decided to take it one step at a time.