We're Done 5

Sixty One

A walk and a talk on the beach sometimes helps to put matters into perspective

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'I've been neglecting us,' Perry Mason stated flatly looking out over the ocean taking in deep breaths of the salty sea air. A gentle breeze made the early evening cooler, a welcome respite from the blazing heat of the day. Perry and Della had left the restaurant and driven a short distance to the quieter part of the beach, parking up in a secluded spot that at that time of day was deserted. They knew this part of the cove area well having spent many a happy hour walking hand in hand along the empty stretch of sand, or just sat on a grassed area looking out over the sea. A number of times, in days long past they had watched both sunrise and sunset laying lazily in each others arms, resting against the windscreen glass on the hood of the old large convertible now long gone to the great scrapyard in the sky.

Della stood next to her husband silently. She'd barely uttered a word since leaving the restaurant. Perry knew this wasn't like her but he also knew he'd hurt her more deeply than even he cared to admit. He'd been an outright fool for many years but the enormity of the Laura situation was only now starting to dawn on him.

'I did some thinking myself this weekend,' he offered in an attempt to start the conversation.

'Really.' It wasn't a question.

'Sixty one.'

'Sixty one what?' Della cocked her head to look at him.

'Days since I told you I love you. Your birthday.'

'I'm not someone who needs to be told everyday.'

'I know me neither, but I want you to know that even though I don't say it out loud all the time I mean it every day.' Perry met her gaze and both held steady. 'Over the years my behaviour where Laura is concerned,' he took a deep breath, 'Let's just say has been less than stellar. But I swear to you, what I've told you is true. I haven't cheated on you with her or anyone. You've been the only one since, well since before I ended it with Laura. And, if you recall, you'd worked for me exactly 5 months when that happened. I had no clue how you felt about me at that point. If I'm being honest to myself, I think sometimes wrongly, I still feel a little guilty about breaking up with her, but I didn't want Denver and I didn't want corporate law. I could never be with someone who after scratching the surface didn't understand who I was, what I fought for, stood for, the client and justice at all costs. I couldn't be with her then and I couldn't be with her now when I was…. am deeply in love with someone else.' Perry's large hands reached forward taking hold of Della's face gently. He felt relief flood through him again when this time she made no move to pull back. His eyes roamed her face looking for some answers to questions he had but didn't know how to ask. It was Della who broke the moment.

'I know exactly who you and what you are. I accepted that a long time ago and I accepted my place with you. I've never regrated how my life turned out even if it wasn't the path I laid out for myself twenty plus years ago.'

'I've never regretted it.' His voice dipped lower as it was wont to do when he went into seduction mode. Della knew the signs well and placed her hands about his wrists gently removing them from her face. A quizzical look crossed his features briefly.

'But I regret never having the courage to challenge you or Laura about your behaviour. I let your relationship lurk in the shadows and grow into this issue we now seem to have. Perry, I don't like myself for allowing that to happen. Call me old fashioned, but you're both married and shouldn't have been in that room in a state of undress, wine accident or not.'

Perry pondering Della's words nodded in understanding of what she had just said. He had convinced himself years ago there was no harm in meeting Laura for drinks and dinner now and again when the opportunity arose. Apart from the office incident, nothing sexual had ever happened, not that Laura hadn't made it loud and clear that sex was there if he wanted it. Was Laura his weak spot? Did that make him a bad guy thinking she was? He had attempted many times to rationalise it. Men looked at Laura in appreciation all the time. She loved the attention. Men also looked at his wife all the time in appreciation, or was it lust, or was it maybe both? He wasn't jealous when they looked at Laura, but he often felt a twinge of irritation when they openly gawped at his wife. Looking, it's what a lot of guys and the other way around, women did right? But then, he knew Della would never be found tucked away in a discreet corner table in a restaurant with another man without his knowledge.

Laura wasn't inherently a bad person. He'd discovered well into their relationship she was rather shallow and often haughty to those she considered not in her class, but she was fun to be with. The most recent occasions they had dinner, Laura made him feel younger with her compliments and flirtations, the long strokes she made across the back of his hand when they talked. Della on the other hand was always fun to be with and she didn't have a bad bone in her body. She didn't even have to touch him to make his blood burn in desire. That sultry look with those dark hazel eyes and he practically came undone every time. He'd laughed at the thought many times. He still considered himself reasonably good looking. Tall, broad shouldered, piercing blue eyes and he still commanded any room he choose to. Unfortunately, the slim waist had expanded somewhat, and the thick, black wavy hair had been replaced by thick, but much shorter greying hair, always neatly trimmed and combed. Then there were the kisses. Laura kissed him clinically. She never touched his hair, his face. It was a technique she designed and employed for her pleasure only. Della liked to muss his hair up at the back when she was kissing him and enjoyed playing with the hair at the back of his neck. The deep, warm kisses invited him to go further all the time. The only clinical thing about Della's kisses were that they were used to ignite his need for her.

Then Laura always left, back to Denver, back to her husband. After making him feel different in a way he couldn't always describe to himself or anyone else for a couple of days, she'd be gone until she decided to visit on business. Everything was on Laura's terms when it came down to it. Della on the other hand was always there for him, bringing order to his chaos, light to his darkness. Never demanding, always understanding. Generous to a fault and beautiful. Those legs, oh those long legs of hers that had brought him so much pleasure from the minute she'd walked into his office.

After much soul searching in an alcohol fuelled haze Perry had come to his conclusion, his closing argument. No Laura definitely wasn't his weak spot, Della was, but recently while his words said one thing, he became painfully aware his actions had spoken volumes in the opposite direction.

'Della, I need you to forgive me. I won't ever see her again. I don't want to see her again.' Perry's words did not come easily or lightly. 'I don't know if you can love me again but…..'

'Stop, please.' Della placed fingers lightly on his mouth. 'I haven't fallen out of love with you in three days Perry. I've loved you practically my whole adult life. That's not something that can be lost in three days. I won't lose that feeling in three lifetimes.' He kissed her fingers.

'I won't stop loving you for eternity.'

Della gave a short shrug of her shoulders.' OK Mr Mason now that's exaggerating.' She made an involuntary giggle bringing a smile to his face but the threw her hands up. 'You have hurt me, I'm not going to pretend you haven't. Aunt Mae always said you would eventually. Neither of us thought it would be because of another woman though. Oh God how did we get here?' she groaned.

'Because I'm an arrogant ass who doesn't always appreciate what's in front of him, what I've got, what you've given me. More importantly what I've almost lost. I've never deserved you.' Perry wrapped an arm around her shoulders and brought her in close, kissing her temple. Della allowed herself to wrap her arms about his waist laying her head against his chest just under his chin. 'I can't be me without you. I've always known that. You're my whole cheerleading section and I've taken that for granted.'

'The kids cheer for you too. You're their hero.'

'No I'm not, you are.' Perry kissed her curls and gripped her tighter. 'The boys worship you….all your boys worship you. Lily on the other hand….'

'Is a daddy's girl. And you can do no wrong.'

Perry laughed. 'Until I interrogate her dates!' He felt Della smile against him. They fell into a comfortable silence watching out into the ocean, listening to the waves beat against the rocks.

'I still blame Paul for a lot of this,' Della mumbled into his chest eventually.

'What do you mean?'

'If he hadn't insisted on starting in on that second bottle of scotch when we were in Reno on that case and celebrating his birthday, we wouldn't have ended up in that little wedding chapel. We never could resist a bet with him.'

Della felt the laugh rumble in his chest. 'I think he knew exactly what he was doing that day. He goaded and tricked us, but my theory has always been that if we truly didn't want to do it, we wouldn't have done it. You wouldn't have gone through with it.'

'It was the right time. All those conversations about me being your secretary after we married had been done to death. I wore you down on the subject.'

'We wore each other down with the arguments for and against. Before you ask though, I'd have married you within an hour of first meeting you, in a heartbeat.'

'Liar! Within two hours maybe but not an hour.'

Perry released a laugh out loud and released her just enough to look into her face. 'I don't tell you enough, but I DO love you.'

'I know you do.'

'Am I forgiven my stupidity?'

'No.' Della sighed. 'Not yet anyway. We have to work on us after this and that doesn't happen overnight. I need a little time to sort myself out.' Perry nodded in understanding but disappointment registering on his face. 'But,' she added reaching up on her toes and brushing her lips lightly across his, 'I'd really like you to come home, that will be a start if I can stop Aunt Mae from handing your man parts to you in a jar.'

Perry winced.

TBC