Chapter 5: Bra's 100th Day Celebration; Beerus Fights Buu For Muffins
"You're here?" Beerus asked.
"Nice to see you too, Lord Beerus," Shin huffed. "You make it sound like you wish I wasn't here."
Today was Bra's 100th day celebration, so of course her honorary uncles were invited. Shin receiving an invite to such an event wasn't as common, or he just never accepts them, Beerus thought.
"I'm very pleased you're here, actually. And without the other two?" Beerus looked around to double-check. "Saves me finding a reason to visit you to ask you how it's all going."
The mortals were gathering to sing their congratulations to the clueless baby. Naturally Beerus had arrived just in time for the food element of the celebrations to start.
"It's going well."
"So, Grand Kai really does know something, huh?"
Shin nodded. "Yes, although he's not quite the traditional teacher one would expect, I think he was probably the best choice."
"So, tell me all about it, I'm interested, and completely not interested in being handed a baby at any point today. Make me look busy."
Shin took a seat next to him today, and Beerus didn't miss the way Shin glanced at how far away Gohan was this time. "You know about the reincarnation cycle, right? Well, most souls go through the cycle without intervention, but some don't. And –" Shin paused and looked up at Beerus with a displeased expression.
"Huh? What?" Beerus said, cheeks full of food.
"I was going to tell you something that Whis asked about, but why should I when you send him to snoop around to get information out of Kibito?"
Beerus swallowed and shrugged. "So you're not going to tell Whis whatever this is? Because if you are, I'll hear about it anyway. But if you're not, that's just mean."
"He probably asked on your behalf anyway I suspect. I'll tell you, but I just wanted to let you know I don't appreciate you sending people to fish for information behind my back like that after I'd already said it wasn't something I wanted to discuss."
Suddenly they were aware someone was watching them.
"Oh, so you're finally awake –" Beerus began.
"Buu's table ran out of muffins!" Buu announced as he reached out to take the untouched plate on their table.
Beerus immediately moved to stop him, but Shin grabbed his arm and pulled him back. "If I can let him have them, you can too. Let's not make a scene over some muffins."
Beerus watched as Buu left with the plate and hoped Whis would save him one from his table. "Fine, but only because you asked." He realised that he never wanted to anger Buu in front of Shin, and it was obvious why, but it was also a thought he found very unlike him. He didn't dwell on it, instead going back to the conversation about training.
Shin let go of his arm when he was satisfied Beerus wasn't going to go after Buu. "Because I've not rehomed any souls that have been stuck in Other World via the reincarnation cycle, there's been a bit of a build-up over the years. So, when you were wondering what Grand Kai does all day, he essentially rules Other World while the cardinal kais take care of their quadrants. At present the Other World population is large enough to rival the whole universe. Although most of the souls are harmless spirits going about their afterlife with no problems, there's now a significant amount of stand-out characters that Grand Kai rules over and keeps in-check." Shin paused to finally pick something to nibble on. "He's a little disappointed that I'm going to relieve him of some of this burden, having quite got used to what sounds like an entertaining job. Certainly it keeps him busy and free from boredom. He also worries I'm going to help reincarnate some of his favourite citizens."
Beerus hummed. "So you're just rehoming souls at the moment? That's still not creating life and learning the skills you need."
"We'll get to that. First I need to clear the backlog in Other World before I create new life." He noticed Beerus wasn't pleased with this answer. "But we've begun to discuss the basics and principles."
"Look, I just need to know that he definitely does know, otherwise I'll get Whis to find you a different teacher."
"I'll get back to you when the time is right."
"My lord, Supreme Kai." Whis smiled at the pair. "Is this seat free, or am I intruding on a secret meeting?"
"Sit, sit, I'm sure Shin wants to run off and talk to Gohan while he has the chance."
Whis sat, placing a muffin on Beerus's plate.
"Oh, Whis! I knew you wouldn't fail me." He caught Whis's hand and kissed it, forgetting for a moment where he was. "What would I do without you?"
"Well then, now you have Whis back, I'll take my leave," Shin said.
"Ahem, didn't you have something to tell Whis?" Beerus asked.
"It's not urgent," Shin said. "Or you can tell him, seeing as you already know. My time with my favourite mortals is in shorter supply however."
Beerus chuckled as Shin walked away. "He's so funny. As if he can't just make excuses to visit Earth like we do. And mortals? It's just the one."
"You're one to talk." Whis grinned. "How long were you going to wait before you made an excuse to visit him?"
"Hey, that's…! We were discussing work-related things."
Whis was still smiling away. "Once we went to a lunch just like this and you were telling me how the Supreme Kai liked you, and you were going to prove it. Yet, from what I've seen, you're the one who's always chasing him. I think we've visited the Sacred World of the Kais more times in the past year than we have in the past millennium, hm, no, that's too generous. Perhaps –"
"Can I remind you - before you come up with some ridiculous number - that most of these occasions have been for work purposes?"
Whis nodded. "Oh yes, I'm taking that into account. But, again, this sudden interest in work-related visits seems like a cover for just visiting."
Beerus finally turned his attention to the muffin, and he didn't want to admit it was because he felt Whis was speaking truths. "Look, I've uncovered something super important by going to all this effort. I think you should let me off the hook a bit." Beerus took a bite. "Oh my god, Whis, you didn't tell me there's stuff inside this thing!"
"Isn't the surprise just delightful?"
Beerus looked both pleased and displeased. "And I let him convince me to let the fat bastard take the whole plate! Excuse me, I've got to go and see if there are any more still around."
"Please don't fight Buu if he has any left."
"No promises."
The closest table didn't appear to be occupied, instead full of finished bowls piled up, still he swept around, trying to look less conspicuous on his trip.
"Ah, Trunks." Beerus grinned down at the boy slumped in his chair, hidden behind the bowls.
"Hey, Lord Beerus. Uh, did you need something?" Trunks asked as he realised how he was being eyed-up.
"Are there more muffins?"
"Muffins?" Trunks thought about it, but at the moment more food was the last thing he wanted to think about. "I don't think so. We got extra puddings this time though."
"I don't want puddings, I want muffins."
Goten piped up from his equally beat position. "You could always trade the puddings for muffins."
"Hm, you have a point, little Goku. If I poke the two of you, will you pop like balloons?"
The pair looked horrified. "Please don't, Lord Beerus!" they begged.
He laughed as he continued on his mission for muffins. As he passed Gohan and Shin, he noticed the way the kai watched him, and he found it amusing. Did Shin think he was coming over to ruin his fun?
All of the others tables had been cleared of their muffin plates - as he had suspected. Surely Buu had visited all the other tables first, but the greedy pig eventually had to go the whole hog and come to his table too. Beerus stood there, arms folded, looking down at the last 4 muffins that for some reason had been spared. He picked up the plate, and that's when it all went wrong.
"No! Those muffins aren't for you!" Buu yelled at him.
"What are you saving them for? New Year?"
Buu got up and took the plate from Beerus, setting it back on the table. "They're for Mr Satan and Videl and Gohan and Pan!"
"How generous of you to think of others," Beerus said flatly. "I doubt they will mind if I have them. Such lovely people, after all."
There was silence around them now, and it was obvious everyone was watching and waiting for the next move.
Mr Satan was the first to pipe up. "Come on, Buu, I don't mind giving my muffin to Lord Beerus here."
"No!" Buu stamped his feet. "Buu saved them for you! Not for him!"
Gohan tried next. "Thank you so much, Buu, we really appreciate it! But maybe you should let Lord Beerus have them today." Oh, he was just a little cupcake himself, wasn't he?
"Don't want him to have it!" Buu cried.
Beerus was actually looking forward to this; he hadn't had a good scuffle since the Zeno Expo. Secretly he was very pleased that Buu was such a stubborn asshole.
He let out a laugh, finding it hilarious that no one had tried to appeal to him to let this go. Perhaps they knew him too well by now. "Fine, I'll fight you for them. Not here; I have more manners than to destroy Bulma's home, so, will you come with me?"
"Buu always wanted to beat you up."
"Perfect." He flew off, leaving the party behind.
The rest of them looked at each other. Goku and Vegeta glanced at each other and took off, not ones to miss a show like this.
Shin rushed over to Whis. "Aren't you going to stop him?"
Whis stirred his tea leisurely. "No. I have orders to intervene if things get out of hand, but we're nowhere near that stage just yet." He looked over at the muffins. "Perhaps I'll have one before they return. After all, neither of them could beat me, so it might just quench their fire."
Shin swallowed down his words – he didn't believe 'useless' was a way to describe Whis, but that's how he felt right now. Instead he took off after the pair. He flew as fast as he could, seeing that they were moments away from starting.
"Lord Beerus! Don't –"
As he got closer, Beerus sent a blast back at whoever was approaching without looking, focused on Buu. There was an unexpected look of shock on Buu's face and his hands came up to cover his mouth. Beerus believed Buu to be a very simple entity, so curiosity got the better of him and he looked back to see who he'd hit. His heart dropped when he saw Shin lying on the ground, and paused a moment too long, allowing Buu to smack him in the jaw.
"You fucking asshole!" Beerus let loose and went at Buu full-force, forgetting how he'd just agreed to make sure the planet wasn't blown away in the process.
Goku and Vegeta watched from a rock that no longer seemed far away enough.
"Do you think we should go get him?" Goku asked.
"No, he's not dead, he'll live," Vegeta said.
"Yeah, but…" Goku shuffled closer to the edge to look.
"Kakarot, they're life-linked. If Beerus thought the Supreme Kai was in danger, he'd have done something about that first."
"Yeah, you're right. He's seems angrier now, don'tcha think?"
"Mn. I get the feeling he's never hit a kai like that. Maybe he thought it was one of us trying to intervene."
"I guess. Oh, he's sitting up now."
Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Pay attention to the fight, won't you?"
Whis touched down beside them. "My, my, isn't this fun?"
Goku beamed as he watched. "Yeah, I don't think I've seen a fight this cool since the Tournament."
"Have you seen the Supreme Kai?" Whis asked, looking around at nearby vantage points.
Goku pointed downwards and Whis let out an 'ah.'
"Not even you're going to help him?" Goku asked.
"He seems content sitting there," Whis said. "Did he need help?"
"Lord Beerus hit him," Goku explained.
"Oh dear."
They watched the fight proceed, the sound of blasts filling the air. At one point Beerus threw Buu down into the Earth, diving after him. He paused when he noticed Shin was sitting just a few meters from where Buu had landed.
"What the fuck are you doing just sitting there?" Beerus asked, promptly knocked back by Buu.
Beerus fought some more and found an opening to scoop Shin up and drop him into Goku's lap, seeing as he was sitting there asking for a kai to be thrown at him.
"My apologies, Goku," Shin said as he got off the saiyan. "My other half is being an ass."
Goku's eyebrows were disappearing into his hair, not used to hearing the kai talk about anyone like that, let alone the destroyer. On the other hand Vegeta was pretending to choke on dust from hearing the term 'other half.'
"He's doing well to control his temper," Whis said. "I thought I was going to have to step in, but maybe I won't have to."
"Won't they just go on forever then?" Vegeta asked.
"One of them will tire. They're both prone to sleep after all." Whis looked on with a smile. "Lord Beerus seems to be having a lot of fun, so I won't stop them just yet."
In the end it was a very respectable 15 minutes before Whis stepped in because the area was being absolutely obliterated. He simply took out the muffins from where he'd stored them in his staff, and began to eat them in full view, making noises of satisfaction to draw attention.
"WHIS!" Beerus yelled. "YOU BASTARD!"
Both Buu and Beerus charged in his direction, and Whis zipped off the rock to meet them. One chop to the back of the neck had Buu falling to the ground, while Beerus's fist was blocked and held like that mid-air.
"My lord, we've talked about your language a lot recently. I really think it's getting worse."
Beerus growled. "Did you eat them all?"
"I ate two of the four. I think that's fair, seeing as I did bring you one earlier."
He was still breathing heavily from his fight with Buu, and Whis waited there with him while he collected himself. "Let's go home."
"So soon?"
"You've got the muffins. That's all I need." He didn't want whatever conversation came next if he stayed.
"As you wish."
They disappeared, leaving the saiyans to gape at the sudden exit.
"Aw man, I didn't even get a chance to ask about when we could train again!" Goku complained.
Shin sighed and got up, disappearing too.
"Those two don't seem happy."
"No shit, Kakarot."
A/N: I know no one cares, but I care about my canon compliancy when it comes to the timeline. So, you may be thinking 'isn't Buu meant to sleep from ToP to the start of the Moro arc?' and yes, I realised this was a problem because I wrote this scene before I decided to get up to date with the manga… So, in this fic's canon, Buu wakes up and after this fight promptly goes back to sleep in time for Merus to come pick him up. This is how I solve my problems.