Disclaimer: I own nothing in regard to GWTW

Author's Notes: Thank you for all the reviews and feedback.

Chapter Five

Christmas eve Rhett had gone to a bakery and had gotten all sorts of pastries. He had stored the box in their room but would not let Scarlett look inside. He kept saying, "It is for tomorrow." Even though Scarlett pouted Rhett still would not let her look in the box.

Scarlett gave Prissy and Dwight the day off, so the family could be alone. Everyone knew it was going to be a rough day for everyone. It touched Scarlett when Prissy said, "If you need anything, Miss Scarlett, just let me know."

Scarlett had patted Prissy's arm and said, "We will be fine. Enjoy your Christmas."

Rhett had awoken early as usual. He got up and dressed. He went to the kitchen and got some bacon. He had one of the kitchen staff help him carry the juice and coffee to their suite. Inside the box was a slew of different pastries; Baklava, bear claws, cinnamon rolls, cream horns, croissants, danishes, kolaches with sausage, lattices, pecan tarts, pretzels and what he knew would be his wife's favorite eclairs. All types that he was sure Scarlett had never seen before. As people arose, they joined him in the common room. Rhett presented Scarlett with the éclair and she was immediately in love. Rhett often wondered how his wife could remain so tiny when she ate so many sweets. She also liked the croissant very much.

After everyone was in the common room, Rhett began passing out gifts. There weren't very many gifts. Rhett had not been able to bring himself to purchase very many items. In fact, all the gift buying had been done here in New York when Scarlett had drug him shopping with her except for his gift to her. They had gotten the children books and a few toys. They had wanted to buy Ella a new doll, but they couldn't bring themselves to look at the dolls.

Scarlett had bought Rhett a ring with a sapphire stone in it. Scarlett had worried whether the color of the stone would invoke pain or comfort. When she opened her present from Rhett, and it was a ring with a sapphire stone she concluded that it would bring him comfort.

When Rhett opened his present and he saw the ring, he said, "I have never known us to think so much alike before."

Scarlett smiled and said, "We are husband and wife after all."

Which had made Rhett smile and say, "Indeed we are."

Soon Rhett had everyone out of the suite. They went to Central Park and walked around. Far too often for her comfort Scarlett could tell Rhett was getting winded. She would pretend to be tired and make Rhett sit with her. They managed to find an old man selling sandwiches out of the back of his wagon. That was their Christmas dinner. They got a cab and rode it around the city. They rode the ferries. They went back to the Brooklyn Bridge. Basically, they kept themselves busy all day. Until early evening when they returned to the hotel and had supper in the dining room.

Over supper, innocent Ella said, "I wish Bonnie were here."

Rhett smiled kindly at the child and said, "I do too."

"She would have enjoyed everything we did today. She always got so much enjoyment out of going to the park."

Wade said, "Until we found that dead squirrel that day."

Rhett smiled a genuinely happy smile and said, "She didn't know whether to be repulsed or intrigued."

"She kept saying let's go then she wanted to find a stick to poke it with."

Scarlett said, "Do you remember how Mammy would tell her to slow down and she would say yes, Mammy but never slow down one bit."

Ella said, "She used to steal us cookies from the kitchen. I would watch to make sure no one went in the kitchen while she grabbed them."

"Where did you eat them?"

"In the back yard under the tree."

On and on the stories went. Most were funny. Scarlett was shocked when Rhett said, "She missed all of y'all so much when we were in Charleston. She talked about y'all all the time especially you, my dear." Rhett raised Scarlett's hand to his lips and kissed her hand. Scarlett stared at Rhett. The admission stunned her. She had always thought Bonnie and Rhett were content in each other's company.

Ella said, "We missed her too.

Scarlett started concentrating on what everyone was saying. She would think about that later.

Wade said, "What do you think Beau and Uncle Ashley are doing?"

Scarlett said, "They have a lot of relatives in Richmond. They are surrounded by people keeping their spirits up."

Rhett said, "It will be a hard day for them, but they will get through it just like we are getting through it."

Wade said, "I miss Aunt Melly's raisin bread she made every Christmas."

Ella said, "I do too."

Scarlett said, "I'm sure we all do.

Wade started talking about something he and Rhett had seen at the Museum of Natural History. Rhett joined him in that conversation. Scarlett was glad they had stopped talking about Bonnie and Melanie. She was glad they could talk about them both without crying but she didn't want to push their luck and talk about them too long.

Soon they were all going back to the suite. Ella said, "Uncle Rhett, will you read to me out of my new book."

"Of course, I will, my dear."

All in all, it was a good day for the family. Not a great day but they had survived their first Christmas day without Bonnie. Next year it would be easier.

As Scarlett thought about what Rhett had said about Bonnie missing her it made her happy and sad at the same time. Happy that her child had missed her when they were apart and sad at the realization of another missed opportunity in her life. She knew without being told that Rhett had missed her also.

On their last night in New York Rhett and Scarlett had gone to the opera. Scarlett had enjoyed the performance although she hadn't understood anything because the opera was sung in Italian. Rhett had told her the plot so she could follow along.

As they were getting ready for bed, Scarlett asked Rhett, "Do you speak Italian?"

"A little."

"So, you didn't understand what they were saying either"

"Not really. I did enjoy the performance though. Didn't you?"

"Yes, very muchly so."

"We will have to go to Paris. They have some exceptionally fine opera houses there."

"I would like that. Since I sold the store, we could go as soon as Wade gets out of school."

"I would like that."

They continued getting ready to get in the bed. As Scarlett was brushing her hair she thought, 'It makes me happy that he is willing to commit to still being with me in June. Yet I know that is not a guarantee he will still be with me by this summer. He still might leave me voluntarily or involuntarily.'

As they laid in the dark, Rhett said, "I have always wanted to take you here. Did you have a good time?"

Scarlett was pleased that Rhett was being so open with her. They had come a long way since Melanie's funeral. She said, "A wonderful time. You were so smart to get us out of Atlanta for the holiday season."

It pleased him so when she gave him a real compliment. He said, "Thank you."

He started telling her stories. As she listened to the stories, she moved her foot to touch his calf. He placed his hand over her hand. They still started off going to sleep as they had the night of Melanie's death. They both knew they would end up in each other's arms but they both pretended otherwise. Neither person wanted to acknowledge their feelings were deeper than anything more than just two parents getting comfort from each other.

After Rhett knew Scarlett was asleep, he thought about her. Since Melanie's death she had been comforting exactly what he had said she never was. She had been his friend. She had been kind, caring and concerned about him. Looking at Scarlett's face which one would think would bring him pain only brought him comfort. She was a fellow traveler on this horrible journey they found themselves on. He knew she had loved Bonnie maybe not as strongly as he had but that didn't mean she wasn't suffering also.

Once he had dropped his mask that awful night and had told Scarlett everything, he had not been able to put it back on. It took too much energy to maintain his mask besides, she had seen him at his weakest, and she had still wanted him to stay with her. In the last six months he had been open and honest with her something he hadn't been with anyone since he was sixteen for sure and probably earlier than that. The last time he knew he had been open and honest with someone was when he still had a mammy himself. That woman had always seen right through him. He still missed her.

He wondered if she was still alive. She and her husband had run away when he was twelve. He had felt abandoned and rejected. He had not understood at the time how anyone would want to run away from their home and their master. At the time he had believed the Southern philosophy that most slaves were happy in their lives of servitude. That the slaves loved their masters the same as a dog loves its master. That the slaves were simple, child-like beings that needed their masters to take care of them.

He had learned later in life that was definitely not true. Rhett knew there had been people who had treated their slaves kindly and humanely nonetheless nobody wanted to be owned by another person. A person who controlled every aspect of their life.

Rhett knew that Scarlett was trying so hard to build a relationship with him. She had listened when he talked about new scientific discoveries even though he knew she hadn't been interested. She had even asked a few questions trying to understand what he was talking about. She had even tried to read a couple of the books he suggested but she just wasn't a reader. She had started reading his financial periodicals though which had led to her starting to read the newspaper. She had found that a lot of different things could affect her money. She did love her money almost as much as he loved his.

She hadn't flirted with him at all. He kind of missed her flirting with him. He was surprised she hadn't repeated her declaration of love, but he was glad she hadn't. Maybe she knew he didn't want to hear it. It embarrassed him now. It also made him mad. Not a good combination. If she had been chasing him, he would have left no matter what.

He really didn't have anywhere else to go. He knew his mother didn't want him. He knew his mother loved him, but he also knew that he was a source of embarrassment to her. It shamed her when they were out somewhere in Charleston and people crossed the street to avoid him.

He really didn't want to be alone because the pain was so much worse when he was alone. He had spouted out a lot of nonsense that night about looking for grace and charm and about looking for perfect beauty. About him wanting to be around respectable people. He knew that wasn't what he wanted.

He did still love Wade and Ella and he didn't want to abandon them. He didn't want to leave Scarlett either. Maybe she was a poison in his blood for he knew he would never leave her. He didn't have the strength to leave her especially not now when she was treating him the way he had always wanted her to treat him. With Mr. Wilkes in Virginia maybe they could make it work.

He really hadn't wanted to leave when he told Scarlett he was leaving. He had been trying to run away from his pain. At the time seeing Scarlett's pain had made his pain worse. He had known he could not stand the pain of Scarlett fawning over Mr. Wilkes. He had known he could not stand the pain of Scarlett asking him for a divorce. He had to deny that she loved him. He could not stand the pain of it not being true. If it was true, could he allow himself to love her back? He would think about that later. He knew he was going to stay with her forever.

Scarlett seemed to be alright with just sleeping with him. He sadly thought, 'It has probably all she has ever wanted. The security of a man sleeping with her.' It was all he could give her now. He didn't know why he could no longer achieve an erection. He had thought after he dried out that he would be able to obtain an erection again. That seemed not to be the case. Maybe he would go see Dr. Meade. No. He would never share this with that pompous ass. He just knew that old quack would gloat. He knew the older man would take malicious pleasure in Rhett's inability to achieve an erection. He would go see Dr. Harrison that Yankee doctor. Dr. Harrison didn't know him so he could share this with him. He pulled Scarlett into his arms and allowed himself to drift off into sleep.