hair·style

(hâr′stīl′)

n.

A style in which the hair is cut and arranged.

"Wow, dad, your hair looks way cooler in these photos than now," Boruto mused, flipping through Tenten's photo album to a vintage photo of a sixteen-year-old Naruto, complete with a Konoha hitai-ate, the orange and black ninja gear that Jiraiya had gifted him, the biggest, goofiest smile he could muster, and spiky blonde hair at the peak of its length.

Naruto stiffened in his seat on the couch. "I'm sorry, but what?"

"He's right, Papa," Himawari said, looking mournfully at his cropped blonde head of hair. "I mean...take a look at oji-san's photo. He's so cool, cooler than you are now. He has more hair than you do."

"WHAT?"

Neji's calm, collected, "why yes, I'm a prodigy of Konoha's most powerful clan, what are you gonna do about it" seventeen-year-old face blinked back up at them. And crucially, as Himawari had ever so tactfully pointed out, he had a full length of long, dark, lustrous hair tied back loosely so that it didn't get in his eyes.

"It's true," Neji said smugly from the kitchen table. "Your hair looks tacky compared to mine."

Naruto scowled ferociously at the photo and at the actual Neji.

That little...

"It does not!" he yelled. "Hinata, back me up here. Tell Neji and the kids that I'm the one with the coolest hair."

"Nonsense," Neji said coolly, tossing his long, dark, shiny hair back with a flip, as though he was an actor for a hairstylist's commercial on TV. "Hinata-sama knows very well that the Hyuuga are the ones with the best hair in all of Konoha."

"HINATA."

"Hinata-sama."

Hinata blinked at the pair blankly. Naruto was boring holes into her head, tears gushing comically and theatrically from his eyes. Meanwhile, Neji was not to be outdone in the insanity department. Although he didn't go to the extent of melodramatic sobbing, he nonetheless also bored holes into Hinata's head, as though she had her finger on the switch of a bomb.

"Now, now, everyone." She held up her hands placatingly. "This isn't a competition, you know. Naruto-kun, you look very handsome with your short hair now."

He squinted at her. "What about when I had long hair?"

"You looked amazing then too."

Boruto looked like he was about to throw up. Himawari, on the other hand, giggled and mumbled something like "so cute" under her breath.

"And what about me?" Neji demanded.

"You look very fashionable with long hair, nii-san. Don't you and I have the same style?" she asked, running a hand through her own dark locks.

"Hmmm, that's true..." he muttered.

Surprisingly, Naruto nodded in agreement. "True, true, Hinata does look very stylish, ya know..." he said thoughtfully, stroking his chin.

"She said that I look stylish," Neji snapped.

"Hinata is more stylish than you are, Neji. Don't you agree, Hinata?"

"Oh...I...um..." Hinata gaped at Naruto in surprise.

Even Neji blinked in shock, completely taken off-guard at the 180 degree shift in the conversation.

"I know!" Naruto yelled, because things just weren't chaotic enough for him. "Let's take a vote. Who's the most stylish of you two? Boruto, Himawari, get ready to judge!"

At this point, Neji looked like he wanted to crawl into Guy-sensei's ninja turtle's shell and hide. Hinata looked like she wanted to find her oldest, baggiest clothes, create a blanket with them, and disappear into oblivion.

"Naruto-kun, you're being really silly..."

"That's right...to pit me against Hinata-sama..."

Even Boruto looked torn, his natural loyalty to his beloved uncle clashing with his even more natural loyalty to his beloved mother.

Himawari looked totally unfazed at how quickly the bomb switch had changed hands from her mother to her father.

Electricity crackled throughout the house, a warning of the impending bloodbath.

And so began the long, tiresome, world-changing, paradigm-shifting Hairstyle Wars.

A/N: For RudraRasengan, who wanted something featuring Naruto with long hair, as he did in Shippuden, or like Minato. This is a super silly one-shot, but I hope you like it.

Right now, I have to do Iwik's request of Neji vs. Hiashi doting relative war, panjangya's request of Naruto and Neji spending time together, and another request from an Archive of Our Own reader for more NejiTen. Don't worry, everyone, I'll write all of them! :)