A/N: This is not an outing, just a Christmas chapter.
Sam couldn't quite believe tomorrow was Christmas Eve. The team had come back from a 3 day trip to Px-3158, also known as Dearla. SG-4 had made first contact 2 months prior and felt SG-1 would be the best to return and do testing; they thought Daniel would be best to communicate with them. They had spoken broken English, and the SG-4's linguist knew that their main words were Greek-based but weren't familiar with the language. SG-1 had enjoyed their visit. Sam had found that they had large deposits of gold. The inhabitants were more friendly and truly excited that Daniel could easily communicate with them properly. Daniel had found out that there had not been anyone through the gate in 5 generations and the people of the planet were more concerned by wild animals and neighboring villages.
They had made it home in time for Christmas. December 323rd to be exact. They hadn't planned anything though, they never did, but they all gravitated to someone's house. They had spent Christmas a few years at Jacks, one year they had spent it off-world, and twice they had spent it at her home with her dad. They had it at Daniels once as well after he had been sure he had an artifact at home that would help with the prior planet they were on. It was an interesting Christmas, to say the least. It had been an impromptu cleaning/ organizing of Daniel's place. They finally found the artifact that Daniel had needed, but that was their first year as a team. They had avoided his place since then.
After saying goodbye to the guys, she drove home. She planned to wrap their gifts and go to sleep. Sam had stayed up drinking a bottle of wine and wrapping gifts. She had sent Mark's and the kids 3 weeks prior, making sure they got there in plenty of time. She had to wrap Jack, Daniel's, and Teal'c's as well as Cassie's and Janet's. The whole SGC had a Christmas party the Friday before with a gift exchange, and they were usually gag gifts or simple items. Sam had gotten Major Griffin from SG-6. She always tried to get something practical. After asking around, several people said he had an odd obsession with cheese puffs, so Sam when to Costco, found the biggest tubs she could find, and wrapped them with a giant bow. She had never heard someone say thank you that many times. She wrapped the gifts hoping it was enough before crawling into bed to go to sleep.
Sam had woken up with a start, suddenly having the urge to go to Daniel's. They thought they had lost him last Christmas was spent without the man. The group of four have stayed close for Christmas. Jack had no family he spoke of. Teal'c would go off-world during downtime most of the time, but he seemed to realize how much Christmas means to the rest of the team and had often stayed for the holiday. Mark was going to his wife's family this year, and even on the rare occasion Sam got to go to see Mark and his family, it usually wasn't for a holiday. When they lost, Daniel Sam had felt like it was her fault for so long.
Sam had made a cup of coffee and got ready, not bothering to call the man who was closer to a brother to her than Mark. She stopped at their favorite bakery and got all kinds of cookies, cupcakes, cinnamon rolls. When she arrived at the door at 10 am, she was shocked to see Jack and Teal'c already inside. Daniel had put the TV on Christmas cartoons. Sam smiled, remembering her childhood filled with Rudolph, Frosty the Snowman, The Little Drummer Boy, and the list went on.
"Hey, Sam!" Daniel claimed.
She had several bakery boxes in her hands.
"CAKE!" Jack stated.
Sam couldn't help but laugh.
"Cupcakes, sir, and cookies and a few other things." She smiled.
Jack took a box from her opening before getting it on the table, balancing it in one hand and pulling a chocolate cupcake out of the box.
Daniel rolled his eyes, and Sam shook her head. Teal'c was ignoring them as Home Alone started playing, and Teal'c asked about the movie.
Jack was quick to explain the plot.
"How could one forget about their youngest offspring, especially after yelling at him constantly?" Teal'c asked as the first part of the film started playing.
Jack shrugged his shoulders, and the four of them sat around Daniel's small TV.
The closeness of being together made them feel comfortable. They would be more spaced out at Jack or Sam's place, but the coziness of Daniel's apartment made it feel all the better. The day wore on as the group talked about their favorite Christmas movies and songs. They ate sugary snacks all day and drank coffee. Daniel didn't have a fireplace, but warmth in the apartment felt as though they had log right in front of them.
Daniel was surprised when Jack had arrived at his doorstep so early in the morning with Teal'c thinking they would wait later in the day to stop by. He knew the group still wanted to keep a close eye on him after being gone the previous year. He wasn't sure if Jack would ever care for him again after he admitted what he had seen. Daniel wasn't sure Jack would ever trust him again and quite shocked that he hadn't been taken off the team. If the roles would be reversed, he knew he would be angry for a long time. He had been angry with himself for a long time. He had to admit he still wasn't 100%. When he was left alone to think, he had gone back to the times he had been watching over his friends. Wondering why he had done what he did. They were definitely helping him heal a wound he felt he created himself.
It was around 5 pm when Sam announced she had plans with Janet and Cassie tonight. The guys all nodded and understood.
"My place tomorrow Carter," Jack stated. Sam nodded and hugged each of her teammates goodbye as if tomorrow was months away instead of hours.
"It's a Wonderful Life" begins to play, and Teal'c declares it's his favorite, and Sam is glad she dodged that bullet because she was pretty sure if she saw it again, she would scream. She took the short drive to Janet's. Sam questioned if Cassie's gift was okay. Cassie was getting older, and Sam hated that the years seemed to tick right on by. She had gotten Cassie a sweater from her favorite place at the mall. Cassie had pointed it out one day, and Janet refused the purchase because of the price. Sam had to admit it was probably the most she had ever spent on a sweater in her life, but who did she have to spoil anyway. She had found out one year Mark wouldn't give the kids the gift she bought because they thought it was too much and returned it in the mail. Sam had been hurt, so now she only got them a few modest gifts and donated money in her brother's name to a local organization his wife volunteered at. Janet may be slightly annoyed but would smile at Sam's thoughtfulness.
The dinner goes well, and although Sam and Janet regularly chat in the office, it's different at her home. At work, they do discuss personal topics, but there are certain things they know not to bring up. Cassie is going on and on about not seeing her new boyfriend Paul over the winter break because his mother's family lives in Maine, and they go to her parent's home. Sam smiles at the girl remembering a similar heartache when she was about her age. Janet rolls her eyes. Sam knows this most likely the 100th time the girl brought it up. Sam is glad that Cassie confines in her and talks to her. Sam always wondered 'what if' she had adopted the girl instead. Although Janet hadn't been off-world nearly as much, she often had all-nighters at the SGC and stayed days at a time. Cassie was old enough now to care for herself. Janet had admitted she was fearful of leaving the girl alone. If Jack, Daniel, or Teal'c were free, they had come to care for Cassie when she was younger and was there to keep an eye out as she got older. Sam could have found a way, but Sam knew in her heart that Janet was Cassie's mom. If they had found Cassie today, she couldn't say for certain she would give her over to Janet so willingly.
She never confided in Janet that secret. She had though to Teal'c of all people when she had gotten drunk one night. It wasn't unusual for Teal'c to stay with one of them every so often, and after a rough trip through the gate, Sam had some head trauma, and Janet refused to let her go home alone. Teal'c had stayed with her for 3 days. She usually didn't get drunk, but it happened to be the anniversary of her mother's death, and it always lead her to be upset even after all this time.
That night she admitted to Teal'c she had wanted to be a mother but didn't think she could do both things and not feel guilty one way or the other. Teal'c had explained how being away from his son was the hardest part of staying with SG-1. Sam thought he had a bigger purpose than she did. He was saving his whole race, and she was just saving a planet. Knowing how many humans are out there, it didn't seem quite the same.
After dinner with Janet and Cassie, the phone rang, and it was Paul. Sam giggled as Cassie raised her voice an octave higher when saying his name.
Janet just looked at the girl talking on the phone and running up to her room, closing the door.
"To be young again," Janet claimed.
"That's for sure." Sam nodded.
The two of them had been sipping wine with the meal, and Janet asks Sam if she wants another glass.
"So…" Janet asked.
"What?" Sam asks.
"Come on, and you never told me what happened after Vegas!" Janet claims.
Sam blushed. Janet was the only one who knew the whole truth. She figured Jack confided in Daniel a few things, but she knew Jack was a lot more private, and she had tended to let things flow with Janet in a way she had with only a few others prior to meeting her.
"Nothing, Jan, we. I, it's nothing." Sam says finally.
"I don't know why you two play this game, and you're not Cassie's age; you're adults and can make your own choices," Janet claims.
Sam looks at her.
"You know perfectly well why it doesn't work," Sam claimed.
Janet rolls her eyes.
Sam knows deep down, if they both want it, they could make it happen. They would figure it out. Still, Sam had been deeply hurt on a few different occasions, she knew she loved Jack, and it was different love she held for Daniel and Teal'c, but she couldn't give up this perfect team for Jack O'Neill to leave her just like everyone did. She wasn't going to let him get so far that he realized they weren't right for each other and screw the whole dynamic up for the team. She couldn't say what they had now was enough, but she couldn't say getting into a relationship now was worth it. Every so often, she would reevaluate and ask herself if she had any regrets about the relationship. She felt that the unknown was too much of a variable to regret not trying, at least for now. She couldn't say the situation wouldn't change soon. Vegas was about enough to do her in.
Janet gave Sam a knowing look.
"You'll never know if you don't try," Janet claimed.
"I couldn't keep it a secret very long if it did, and you know how many people would be right there to say something about it," Sam stated.
Janet looked at her.
"He's Black ops, and you are the most guarded discreet person I have ever met. You two can figure it out." Janet claimed.
Sam just looked at her, not saying anything as they hear Cassie squeal in delight.
Sam and Janet head the conversation to more neutral subjects such as Christmas tomorrow, and Sam invites her and Cassie's to Jacks knowing that he would be more than happy to have the guests in his home. Janet declines claiming that although she would love the company, it was one of the few days out of the year she didn't feel any pressure to do anything. Sam knew the feeling well and understood. She wished Janet and Cassie a Merry Christmas before going home.
Christmas morning arrives, and Sam has learned that Jack usually sleeps in. If he isn't on duty, she is sure he can sleep until noon, and she's not quite sure how he is able to do it. Sleeping in for her is 0800, and she had always been that way. Sam looks at the small little tree sitting on the end stand. She has presents on the floor for her team. She has bought Jack Homer Simpson Pajama pants and his favorite candies from a store in Minnesota he goes on and on about, as well as the newest Simpsons season out on DVD. Daniel had received a joke gift, a little kids archaeology set where you dig up "dinosaur bones" as well as a practical gift, something he keeps saying he needs, an electronic tablet to write notes and store them on the computer. He could easily search them instead of leafing through journal after journal. Teal'c had always been the hardest to buy for. Still, he enjoyed learning about Earth culture. Despite all the books and movies, they exposed him to; Sam was quite sure that Native American Culture wasn't heavily shown, so she had picked up numerous books and documentaries. She also had gotten him a new hat.
She loaded the gifts into her car. She also decided to not get dressed. She couldn't remember when it became a tradition, but one year at Jack's, he had answered the door in pajama pants and a t-shirt. He told Sam she was too overdressed, gave her a pair of pajamas, and did the same with Daniel, and Teal'c who was nowhere close to Jack's body type but somehow found a pair of sweat pants for the man to put on. Ever since then, they had come to Jacks in Pajamas.
Sam was the first to arrive at 12:30.
"Merry Christmas, Carter," Jack claimed.
"Daniel and Teal'c will be here soon. Until then, be my sous chef?" Jack asked.
Sam nodded. Jack was putting in a roast with potatoes, carrots, celery, and onion. He had been cutting up potatoes and handed Sam another cutting board and a knife. She looked at the size of the cubed potatoes and started cutting.
"I don't know the last time I had a roast," Sam claimed.
"No point in cooking one if you aren't sharing it," Jack stated.
"Mmm." Sam agreed.
Jack kept throwing various vegetables into the roasting pan, and Sam was happy to be working with him in a domestic situation. They chopped the remains quickly, and Jack put some spices on the meat and vegetables and set them in the oven. Sam washed her hands and thought they were done.
"You're not getting out so easily. We still have cookies to make." Jack claimed.
Sam looked at him, and as he pulled everything out of the cabinet to make cookies.
"Don't you think we had enough sugar yesterday?" Sam asked.
"There is never enough sugar, besides it's Christmas, and it's a whole new day. Just making some traditional chocolate chip." Jack claims.
Sam knows a recipe by heart, one her mother had taught her. She purposely didn't get chocolate chip cookies yesterday for that very reason, it felt like a connection to her mother, and before Jack can stop her, she is pushing him out of the way and telling him the measurements he needs to give her to make her mother's cookies. He doesn't say anything about it. He had forgotten the story Sam had told the team years ago, but when she starts ordering him around, her words had rung out in his mind as though that mission was only yesterday.
As Sam was spooning them onto a pan, Daniel and Teal'c arrive gifts in tow.
Jack warmly greets them and takes them into the living room.
As Sam puts the cookies in the oven, Jack puts his hand on her shoulder.
"I forgot, and I am sorry I didn't mean for you to make cookies," Jack claimed.
Sam smiled. "No, it's fine. I haven't in a long time, and it makes me feel a connection with her still; I'm happy to do it. Sorry I ordered you around in your own kitchen." Sam claims.
"You can do that anytime," Jack claims. Sam suddenly feels the warmth of Jack's hand in looks in his eyes. They don't move, and it isn't until Daniel yells out to Jack asking about the fireplace that Jack takes his hand away.
Jack walks out of the kitchen and sees the fireplace that is gas, is up way too high, and quickly adjusts it, wondering why on earth he had set the flames up so far.
Sam quickly joins the group Teal'c takes the chair, and Sam and Daniel take the couch, sitting close, knowing that Jack will take the spot closest to the tree and pass around the gifts. Sam opens hers from Teal'c. She never knows what he is going to get her, or any of them, really. She opens the perfectly wrapped gift, Teal'c somehow had the art for wrapping, and she could always tell just from the outside who had given her what gift. Teal'c's looked like it was from some high-end boutique. Daniel's wrapping was flat but not always the neatest, and Sam wasn't sure if Jack had ever wrapped a gift in his life because anything she had ever received from him came in a bag.
Sam opened her gift to find a print of 'Starry Night Over the Rhone' Sam knew Teal'c was always thoughtful. She remembered the conversation as Teal'c had been reading an art book, and she had told Teal'c it was her favorite piece of work that she had never seen in person. She thanked him and moved on to the gift Daniel had given her. She smiled over at the man he had given her, her favorite coffee and favorite chocolate. He had also given her a joke gift, "the power of crystals book." She opened the book and found a gift card to the local bookstore that she and Daniel frequented together. She had saved Jack's gift for last, and when she opened up, she had found a stuffed animal, a sea turtle. She remembered that conversation from years ago; the flipper had an envelope tied around it. She pulled out the envelope.
"This next weekend getaway is on me," Jack claimed.
She opened the envelope to see 4 tickets to an art exhibit in Denver in mid-January.
"It's perfect," Sam claimed.
The group of four stayed close, not wanting to part ways but knowing full well tomorrow they would all be finding places for their new gifts and getting their homes ready for the upcoming days.
With January already planned, Sam couldn't wait until they all went to see the artwork on display.