Ch 5

I do not own anything of the Twilight franchise.

BPOV

I was not at all prepared for the onslaught of chaos that Edward's arrival would set off. I gave Jasper a pointed look. He met my gaze with fury hidden under a mask of understanding. He strode over to me, placing a chaste kiss to the top of my head. Stepping away from me, he stuck his hands in the pockets of his shorts and rocked back on his heels.

We listened as Edward pushed his key in the door and stepped into the house. It sounded as if he remained still for a moment, as if to listen for a sound. He had seen Jasper's car outside, and no doubt and much to my dismay, assumed his worst suspicions would be confirmed upon entering the house.

That made my heart ache.

After moments of silence the sound of his dress shoes echoed through the house, until he reached us in the living room. He was dressed in a well tailored charcoal suit, and I watched as he paused at the border of the living room his eyes darted between Jasper and me.

His rainforest gaze, finally landed on me, the expression on his face revealing nothing. He wore that mask of indifference so well. I nearly believed it myself.

I gnawed on my lip briefly, waiting for him to speak. The more I looked at him, the more the ache in my chest bloomed. His eyes weren't clear. He made a stop between here and the office.

The realization forced me to break the silent tension that had fallen across the room. "I wasn't sure I'd see you tonight."

Edward narrowed his eyes at my statement, annoyed at my implication. His response was pointed, he clicked his tongue, "Well, surprise."

My mind immediately skipped to images of him sitting shoulder to shoulder with Jessica, sharing the most intimate details of our relationship. Sharing our disappointments. Our failures. My failures. I blinked the images away, scanning his form once again.

His eyebrow twitched, the first crack in his veneer. He turned his attention to the other man in the room, sarcasm laced through his tone, "Staying the night?"

Jasper shifted his weight, measuring his next words carefully. "I just came by to drop something off for Bella."

Edward flexed his jaw and hummed without another word on the matter. He began slipping his shoes off and loosening the tie around his neck. He padded over to the sofa, stooping to place a kiss on my hairline. He spoke softly to me, his words not matching his ice cold tone, "Am I interrupting?"

To my surprise, Jasper's sharp voice carried across the space, "Do you know how good you've got it, Edward? I mean really, do you have any idea?"

Edward stiffened, straightening back to his full height. He turned to face the source, "Excuse me?"

I cringed. This isn't going anywhere good.

"You have everything, right here in front of you. And now you're pissing it away, just like you always do." He huffed, combing his hair back roughly with his fingers. His grimaced deepened, "Every gift you have, you waste."

Edward shifted his weight and pushed his hands into the pocket of his slacks, "You know you have some nerve, saying that to me. In my home no less."

I raised from my seat, touching my palm to Edward's shoulder. I didn't quite have words I needed.

He stiffened at my touch and turned so that his eyes landed on me, betrayal coursing through them. His eyes narrowed, turning his attention back to his brother, "It's time for you to go home, Jasper."

"That's right Edward, don't address what I said. Just go ahead and pretend none of this is happening."

Edward's shout sliced through the air, silencing his brother, "Enough! I couldn't be more aware of what is happening!" He jabbed his fingers toward Jasper, "Do you think I don't see what you're doing? You've been trying to erode my marriage from the beginning."

Jasper shouted back hotly, "The only one eroding your marriage is you."

Infuriated, Edward stalked toward him, "You look at Bella the way a man looks at his wife, as if she is the only woman that you see. You've wanted her since the moment you laid eyes on her."

I took this moment to step in verbally, "Stop it! Both of you." I let out a breath, trying to focus my thoughts.

The quiet only lasted for a few moments before Edward shattered it.

Stance softened but with words just as cruel he spoke, "And as much as I'd like to, I can't blame you. I can't blame you for wanting her," he swallowed deeply, "loving her like you." He turned his attention to me, his eyes roaming my form and landing on my eyes, "I am a lucky man."

Jasper's words were careful and controlled, "Then act like it."

It didn't escape my notice that he never denied Edward's accusations.

Green eyes studied his brother through the haze of resentment. The challenge in his glare was clear. Not breaking his stare, he spoke, "This is long overdue."

My mind was scrambling for the words to neutralize the building tension but before I could find them Edward spoke up again, "You'd like to take my place, you think you could do it better."

I watched as Jasper ground his teeth together. His jaw was full of pent up emotion.

This entire situation was already in the gutter, but I felt the need to at least attempt to salvage it. I never liked them being at each other's throats. I moved between them so that Jasper was to my left and Edward to my right. "It's late, it has been a long day and I think we're all just a little bit tired." I scrubbed my fingers across my forehead, "We could all use some rest."

I glanced at the man to my left to find him combing his fingers through his honey blond locks. My eyes pleaded with him to say something, anything to stop Edward from continuing down this path, hopefully denial of the accusations but he remained silent. Refusing to meet my gaze, his eyes remained laser focused past me.

I spoke again, my nerves driving the words coming out of my mouth, "It's getting pretty late. Jas you're welcome to stay the night if you like, the guest room is all yours." I pushed my hair behind my ears, my discomfort rising.

Jasper answered this time, sending me a sympathetic smile, "I don't think that's such a good idea."

The object of his vision spoke again, his words laced with venom "Admit it Jasper, you've wanted her since the beginning. Admit that you don't think I'm good enough for her." He took a step closer, leaning in slightly, hissing his next words, "Tell her what my best man said to me at the altar."

My eyes widened, my head snapping to Edward. The look in his eye told me he had dredged up a painful memory. My mind tumbled back to that day, seven years ago. As Charlie escorted me down the aisle I couldn't help but notice the hesitance stamped all over Edward's face. Though he had eyes for nobody but me, it was as if he were looking through me, and not really seeing me. At the time I had attributed it to nerves. I returned to the present moment, searching his face for some sort of hint or explanation as to what he was talking about.

He glanced at me, almost looking apologetic, before the harsh mask returned and he refocused his attention on Jasper.

Clearly fed up with the waiting game, he pushed the envelope, "Tell her or I will."

Tears of frustration began to blur my vision. Frustration with the entire situation. I successfully blinked them away as I focused on Jasper's face. My voice was soft, "Jasper?"

His Adam's apple bobbed slowly as he swallowed. Jasper's clear eyes found mine, "I was only looking out for you."

"You were looking out for yourself," Edward hissed.

Jasper sighed deeply, resigned. I could see his expression crumbling as he watched the confusion dance across my face. "It was my final attempt to..." he paused heavily, seemingly gathering himself, "I told him he hadn't earned you."

He swallowed, squaring off his shoulders, "That I was the better man."

I tilted my head at him. My mind was way past spinning. His admission gave merit to the Edward's thinking but it did not excuse it or speak to any of his other actions.

Nodding slowly I looked him over from head to toe. He spoke again, taking a short step in my direction, "Bella, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. But I'm not sorry for what I said, it was true then," his focus now on Edward, "and it remains true now. Anybody decent could do a better job."

My head felt foggy.

Edward's voice was controlled, but rough with warring emotions, "What makes you think I don't know that?"

I turned to face him, a fresh wave of unshed tears flooding my eyes at his words. He was hurting. Deeply.

Jasper exploded, his voice raw and riddled with old wounds. The veins in his neck were visibly strained, "You betrayed me. When I was getting to know her, I told you how I felt. I confided in you, I told you everything, and you made it your business to get to her," he swallowed audibly. He looked at me, clearly prepared to throw caution to the wind, "Swan I should have told you how I felt back then. If I had, maybe things would have turned out differently." He raked his fingers through his hair, and shifted his focus to Edward, "So now you've gotten what you wanted." He let out a short breath, shaking his head in frustration.

Edward didn't deny any of that either.

Jasper pursed his lips and took a deep breath before speaking again. "But this isn't about me, is it Edward?" He took a few steps in his brother's direction, slightly brushing a hand across my wrist as he passed. My husband's narrowed eyes darted to the brief contact. "No no, this is about you being a lousy excuse for a partner. This is about your inadequacy."

Edward spat the two words harshly, "Leave. Now."

I watched as Jasper nodded, almost smug. Almost. He fished his keys out of his pocket while he focused his attention on me, his expression unsettled, "I'll call you tomorrow, I owe you an explanation." My best friend started toward the door, without another glance at either of us. Unwilling to part ways on that note, I followed after him, catching him on the front porch.

I spoke softly, "Jas."

He kept his back to me but halted his movement just before he reached the steps. His shoulders were rigid, as if my voice sent a wave of electricity through him. I'm not even sure what I was going to say. The night air hung heavily between us.

I took a deep breath, "I'm confused I-I thought-" I shook my head, "It doesn't make sense. You and I, we've never-we were never-"

He cut me off with a brief look. His eyes were tortured, as he all but stalked toward me. Wrapping his arm around me gently and pressed a feather light kiss that landed just above my eyebrow. "Tomorrow," he mumbled and hurried to his vehicle, shoulders hitched as he walked against the chilling breeze.

As soon as he reached his car, the front door opened, and Edward stepped onto the porch.

Tonight did not have to turn out this way. Refusing to face him, I spoke into the night. I swallowed my tears back, I did not want to shed another. Not now. "It's all coming together now," my voice sounded hollow, "that's what has been eating away at us."

Shocked colored his tone, "What are you saying?"

I whipped around, my eyes burning, "I was just, am just, a symbol of your achievement."

His eyebrows knitted together as he studied me, "How could you think that?" Edward paused for a moment, a sarcastic bark of laughter slipping past his lips, "He admits his feelings for you, he admits he tried to discourage our wedding day of and yet, here you are. You stand here in front of me, accusing me of being untrue." He leaned in, hissing at me, "That's rich."

He pulls a lone cigarette out of his shirt pocket and lights it. It was an act of direct defiance. It makes my blood boil. He took a few pulls, blowing out of the corner of his mouth, his eyes never leaving mine.

The car in the driveway started up, and pulled away.

I spoke as calmly as I could manage, my fury simmering just below the surface, "I'm not taking anyone's side. I'd like to understand your motivations," I released a short breath, "I want to know how we got here."

He chewed into me, "My motivations?" He stepped past me to put his cigarette out in my favorite flower pot. Everything he does is with intention. His eyes narrowed, "I married you, didn't I?" He gestured toward my left hand, "I gave you everything you wanted, the house, the ring. If my only goal were to get under Jasper's skin, I wouldn't have gone through all the trouble. I would've been satisfied when you were just another notch in my bedpost."

Ouch.

Tears pricked my eyes, and this time I couldn't stop them. His words stung and I wasn't even sure if I meant what I said next. My voice strained, even to my ears, "Maybe that's all I should have been to you. Maybe you should have let Jasper have a chance. You certainly haven't done me any favors."

I backed away from him, until I lost my footing on the steps to the porch. I stumbled backwards, landing on the concrete. My palms skidded across the pathway, taking the brunt of my fall. I had no doubt they were scraped and my lower back bruised. But nothing compared to the ache blossoming across my chest.

My tumble seemed to snap him out of his rage. His eyes softened as he took me in, as if he were seeing me for the first time all evening. He cursed under his breath and hurried to my side, taking my hands in his, inspecting my palms. His voice almost a whisper, "I need to get you inside." He scooped me into his arms bridal style, and gingerly carrying me inside the house. He kicked the door shut behind us, careful not to jostle me.

He set me down on our bed, rushing into the bathroom for our first aid kit. Without really seeing, I watched him. I watched him as I would watch a stranger. That's what he felt like to me.

He knelt in front of me, gently wiping the blood from my hands. He paused to press a kiss to the inside of each of my wrists, "I didn't mean that."

I remained silent, focusing only on the sting in my palms.

I am tired. The kind of tired that makes your brain fog, your soul ache and chest constrict.

Carefully, he bandaged me up. As he put the kit back together, I crawled over to my side of the bed. I turned my back to him, my eyes trained on the beige wall in front of me.

I never liked this color, I had always wanted to change it. It was dull and empty. Though now, in this moment, it felt perfect.

The sound of a belt and pants dropping to the floor was the only noise between us. His shirt came off next. The bed dipped under his weight.

—

I blinked my eyes open, to find Edward sat at the foot of the bed, watching me.

I didn't remember falling asleep.

He was dressed in jeans and a long sleeved shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His hair was damp, and he was bathed in gold by the sun.

He would never not be beautiful to me.

Despite his fresh appearance, the deep circles under his eyes indicated that he had most likely been up all night. I propped myself up on my elbows, the movement causing me to wince.

He arched an eyebrow, "Sore?"

I fixed my eyes on him but didn't respond to his feeble attempt at concern.

He reached out, gently rubbing his hand along my calf. His touch would have been welcome but it was tainted by last night's exchange. I sat up completely, carefully moving my leg away from his touch.

His expression did not shift. He was sporting his mask if indifference that wears so well. This time though, my mask matched. I forced myself out of bed so that I could brush my teeth and freshen up. I wanted to collect myself before addressing the elephant in the room.

After finishing my brief routine, I stood in the doorway of the bathroom, facing him, "Why didn't you tell me that happened?"

He looked me over and spoke quietly, "The opportunity never presented itself."

I tried to refrain from rolling my eyes but failed. "After all these years, I don't want to hear about opportunity, you've had plenty. That's not good enough," I scoffed.

His gaze fixed on me intently, his eyes hardening more, "Would you have believed me?"

That made me pause. Would I have believed him?

Interrupting my train of thought he continued, "He's always been so precious to you, he could never do any wrong in your eyes."

I shook my head, "You still should have told me."

"Told you for what? So I could drive a greater wedge between us?" he scrubbed the scruff lining his jaw, "If you hadn't heard it from him, you never would have bought it. You've given him more credit than he deserves." He stood from the bed, pacing the room as he continued, "I mean look at you now, everything you know and you're steady defending him."

My response was hot, "If you were so concerned about the wedge between us you would've changed your pattern of behavior."

His jaw locked, clenching tightly before he fired back, "And what have you done to curtail our down fall, baby? Hm?" He advanced toward me, "Have you done anything but blame me?"

I moved toward him blocking his path.

I wanted to scream at him.

I wanted him to feel all of the neglect I felt.

I wanted him to love me the way he used to.

I craved it.

If he ever loved me the way I thought he did. I'm not sure anymore. I'm not sure any of this has ever been pure.

His chest was heaving with frustration, towering over me. He spoke with a tight jaw, "You are so absorbed in your own pain, in your own world, you can't even see mine."

Another wave of pain cruised its way through my core. I roamed his face and considered his words. The signs of stress were evident. Wrinkles he didn't have before were suddenly present. When had that happened? Why hadn't I noticed?

He raised a careful hand to my check, his thumb stroking across the smattering of freckles, he spoke almost in a whisper, "I hate the way you look at me," he swallowed tightly, "I can't stand it."

My throat felt constricted, "I could say the same to you."

His Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed. His eyes darting between mine, he shook his head but gave me no verbal response.

My throat tightened further as I spoke, "You make me feel expendable."

He dropped his hand. His jaw ticked again, "You're anything but."

"That's not how you felt last night."

His tongue darted out, moistening his bottom lip. "I didn't mean that. I never saw you that way. Not then, and certainly not now."

I fired back, "You shouldn't have said it then."

He arched a bronze eyebrow at me, "And what are the consequences for your jab about Jasper? Are you having regrets? Should I have let him have a go at you?" He stepped closer, wrapping his arm around my waist, tugging me into him. His words were harsh but his touch was gentle, arms placed above the bruise I was surely sporting from my tumble last night. "Would you have preferred to take him for a ride before saddling yourself with me?"

He pulled me toward him again, softer this time "Are you curious what it would have been like?" He licked his lips, stooping to speak directly into my ear, "In fact, maybe you can still find out. I'm sure the invitation still stands."

Leaning away, I peered up at him, the corners of my mouth turned down, revolted by his words, "You're vile."

He sneered at me, "And you're beautiful. More so than you realize." His eyes tracked across my face, absorbing every feature. His gaze pinned me in place.

My heart was twisting in my chest. My mind was scattered all over the place. Our descent was gaining speed. "Am I the only one you've said that to in the past 24 hours?"

He rolled his shoulders, as if the implication of my question were inconsequential, "Yes," his fingers started a loose pattern in the small of my back, "That's not where I was last night. I haven't seen her outside of the office again."

I wanted to believe him.

The pattern across my skin ceased as his fingers stilled at the sound of my cell phone ringing. It buzzed across the night stand.

His mouth curved into an acidic smile as has gaze darted to the phone. Bending, he pressed a kiss just below my ear, sending sparks across my body. His lips lingered, "Give my brother my regards."

Then I was cold at the sudden loss of contact. He slipped away from me, his fingers grazing my skin with the most gentle touch. Despite his quick movements, I didn't miss the look of torment that crept across his beautiful face.

I made my way over to the nightstand, gathering my wits before looking at the screen. Jasper.

—

A/N: I apologize that this update took so long. I hope you are enjoying the story. I appreciate you all for reading and reviewing, thank you so much.