Chapter Five

- An Unexpected Return.

It had been months since I'd snuck into Kattegat and if the Seer had known, he never did bring it up. I'd felt childishly pleased with myself, even slightly smug at the fact that it was possible I'd been able to evade his all-seeing sight. The secret excitement teased me into considering another trip but I soon sobered up and caught a sensible train of thought again. I wouldn't risk it, not so soon at least. And my family were gone, fighting in distant lands. It made no sense to be reckless for no reward. Aslaug was still in Kattegat of course, along with my four young half brothers but she held no sentiment for me, and nor I for her.

I thought often of my father, my mother and Bjorn - their faces renewed in my memories again. But also, too embarrassingly to ever admit, I thought of Harald, the king who caught the receiving end of what surely had been my best ever strike, and his teasing brother Halfdan.

I wondered what had happened to them, if they were still alive. Uselessly, the gods had not gifted me with any foresight to their fates - perhaps the Seer was right, that I was deafened to their messages through my own selfishness. Or maybe they were punishing me for my wrong doings? For my doubts and reluctance to follow the path that had been paved for me.

I dropped the basket full of berries and mushrooms on the table as I passed. I'd plucked them on the way back from my morning bathe. It was quite normal to arrive back to vacant room, as I would usually help the Seer out from his bed when I returned. So it wasn't the emptiness of the chairs that caused me to suck in a breath. It was the gnawing feeling of unease that clawed at my chest. The air around me felt heavy and a sense of foreboding felt as if it was seeping from the walls.

I hurried towards the Seers room, the length of my cloak swaying at my ankles. He lay facing the wall and as I dropped to my knees beside his cot, I noticed how unnaturally still he was. I put a hand on his shoulder and shook it. His body moved limply under my hand but nothing more. He couldn't be...? I shook him again. No, surely this couldn't be-

A horrid gurgling noise, followed by a raspy cough startled my hand off his shoulder, as if I had been burnt by hot coal. He rolled over, and my jaw went slack at his his corpse-like appearance. He never had looked like a healthy human being to begin with, but at that moment it was hard to believe he still breathed the same air as I.

"Take me..." he voice was hoarse. "To Kattegat. The healers..."

I stayed frozen on my knees. I had never really considered the Seer as a living, breathing man, with organs that pumped inside of him and blood that flowed through his veins. But there he was, struggling for words and suffering like any other. A guttural wheezing spurred me out of my shock and onto my feet.

It seemed I was returning to Kattegat sooner than I had imagined.

"The Seer is gravely ill. Our healers will stay with him."

Slaves scuttled past either side of us, passing each other with baskets, jugs and buckets. More slaves than anyone could have use for surely.

"Thank you, my Queen," I said curtly. I watched as a pale, small slave girl disappeared behind a lattice partition, moving my weight to my other foot to try and get a better look behind it.

"Ragnar is gone," Aslaug looked down at me from her throne, answering my unspoken question.

I flicked my eyes towards her. "Gone? What do you mean-"

"I mean he is not here," she cut me off, her voice as flat as her expression. "I assumed you knew, with your gift. The ships returned a few days ago after defeat and he left not long after."

I could of told her my dreams didn't work that way, that I barely could claw any meaning out of them at the best of times. But I didn't need to, I knew she already thought me unworthy. I couldn't truthfully say I disagreed.

I disregarded the crassness of her comment. "Then...where is he?"

"If I knew that," she fixed me with a look, "then I certainly wouldn't be sat beside an empty throne, or raising four boys on my own."

My mind flitted from one thought to the next, too quickly to even register any sympathy for her or my half brothers. "What of my mother? And Bjorn?"

She lifted her sharp chin. "Lagertha returned to Hedeby. Bjorn remains in Kattegat."

My shoulders sagged in relief just as a young boy appeared at the edge of the dais. Messy brown hair, serious-looking face - Hvitserk.

"Mother, Ivarr is crying for you again." He shot me a look under his eyelashes but I didn't pay him much attention, my mind was racing with this new information.

Aslaug drew in a breath and then gave me a nod of dismissal, sensing I was all but ready to run out of the hall. Bowing my head, not even giving Hvitserk a second glance, I hurried out the doors. I needed to find Bjorn. I needed to see he was well and that it wasn't some sort of trick Aslaug was playing on me. Where would I look? He could be anywhere in Kattegat. The mead hall seemed a good place to-

"Gyda?"

I whirled round to catch sight of Bjorn striding towards me, staring as if he mistrusted what he was seeing. He came to a stop as I took a step towards him to close the distance between us, my chest tight with the breath that lodged there. It had only been a few months but he looked so worn it had aged him years. But then he grinned, and he was the same cocksure young boy I remembered. My face flattened against the rough wool of his tabard as he pulled me close into a rough embrace.

"You're okay," I breathed, muffled by the hug. "The gods brought you home."

He released me then and leaned back to look at me properly. "And you too it seems."

I raked a hand through my hair as I leant back in my chair, reeling from everything Bjorn had told me. We exchanged stories in the mead hall over horns of ale - I told him about what had happened to the Seer and despite my tale being inconsequential in comparison, he listened intently before telling me everything that had happened in Francia.

The storm. Their losses. Our father's plans. Rollo's betrayal. Their defeat.

My dream of a bloodstained Rollo had proven to have real meaning then, and I hadn't been committed or blessed enough to understand the message I had been given. I could of warned them, warned my father before it came to fruition and threatened the lives of my family and my people. Before the loss drove him to a self-imposed exile.

Bjorn interrupted my internal anguish. "In Francia, our father, he...made mistakes." It sounded painful for him to speak the words as he stared into his cup. "I don't think he could handle his failings, we were overwhelmed. I don't agree, but I understand why he left."

"But he will return," I offered, trying to convince myself just as much as Bjorn.

His eyes snapped up to me. "Have you seen it?"

"No," I answered honestly. I had no desire to lie to Bjorn. "But I feel it. We all always come back to each other."

He stared over my shoulder for a long moment, lost in a thought I had prompted, before nodding his head in agreement and downing his ale.

"I need to see mother Bjorn," I leant forward on the table. "Will you take me?"

I knew I was asking a lot from him - he had only days ago came back from war with the Franks and he had spent the whole journey with our mother. He had no reason to travel to Hedeby, but I couldn't navigate my way there alone. I should of felt guilt for taking advantage of the Seer's sickness to bend my freedoms, but I truthfully didn't feel a shred of remorse. I looked at Bjorn pleadingly, waiting for his answer.

"Give me a few days. Then we'll ride to together," he conceded.

I smiled and reached over the table to hold his bruised face between my hands as I planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you," I breathed as I sat back down. "Gods have I missed you Bjorn."

"And I you."

The Seer and I had been given a small hut towards the outskirts of Kattegat, away from the bustle of the markets and mead halls. Two women, healers, were by his side when I returned, dabbing his distorted face with leaves and ointments. They didn't look up as I passed and disappeared behind a wooden archway to my new lodgings.

I was still expected to stay with the Seer, even though things had evidently changed. I knew now that there was a purpose for moving me out into the isolation of the mountains, but that purpose had no means now we were back in the city. I hardly cared about the arrangement though, I was back home and that was all that mattered to me now.

Yet my father seemed further away than he ever had been, now I had finally claimed my place back in Kattegat. And my mother was pulled away by duty to another town. Bjorn was here though and I would cherish that for as long as he was.

I managed barely any sleep before a dream gripped me and I woke only hours after closing my eyes, heart pounding and chest heaving. An awful sense of dread weighed me down and it remained even after my heartbeat steadied. The vision lingered in my mind as I stared into the darkness.

I had seen my mother Lagertha, upon a throne. I recognised the chair, the layout, the empty throne beside her - Kattegat's hall. Blood pooled either side of her on the stone floor, dripping steadily from her hands that rested over the curved wooden arms.