Chapter 5 Cinders and Ashes

Knock knock knock!

Bowser now stood in front of a house in Generica. The gray, moldy building looked more like a dumpster than it did a house. It was also under a bridge, so it was constantly engulfed in shadow. When Bowser knocked on the door, he had to do it gently for risk of knocking it clean off of its hinges. Under normal circumstances, Bowser would have felt sorry for the person who lived here.

However, Bowser wasn't going to feel sorry for Jasper Starfold.

Bowser waited around for a good two minutes. He tapped his foot, slapped the side of his leg in a fast rhythm. What was holding Jasper up? According to the latest census, he didn't have a job. He had to rely on some generous charity donations in order to get money; he was practically homeless! By all means, he should not be taking forever and a day to come to the door. If he knew who was on the other side….well, if he knew who was on the other side, he would probably be cowering in fear knowing that the king was here to put him on death row.

What a coward.

"Open up, you spineless scumbag!" Bowser roared. He banged on the door, this time not even caring if he knocked it down. He could hear the sound echoing on the inside of the house. He could also hear a faint, scratchy voice yawn and call out.

"Who is it?"

"It's King Bowser Hortensia Koopa I!" Bowser said.

Jasper laughed. "Yeah, like I'm going to believe that."

"Well then, why don't you open the door and prove me wrong?"

Jasper groaned. "Fine!" He rummaged and scrummanged around on the other side. Bowser heard the crinkly sound that could only be associated with an empty chip bag getting stepped on. He also heard plastic wrap and trash bags being moved. At one point, he heard what sounded like a plate shatter on the floor, and Jasper cursing in response to this.

Bowser snickered. "Looks like Mr. Child Murderer has turned into Mr. Hoarder."

Finally, Jasper came to the door. Because Bowser had never seen him before, he was shocked by the Koopa's resemblance to Larry. His face was very similar to Larry's, if not more gaunt. His mohawk was like a white, orange, and messy version of Larry's combover. His build and body were skinny as a wire, similar to Iggy's. His shell was orange with dark blue rings encircling the spikes.

Even though Bowser was shocked, it was obvious that the one who was in the most shock was Jasper. He stared at the Koopa King, blinking his eyes out. For a solid minute, there was silence, the only sound in the area being the echoing footsteps of people as they crossed the bridge up above.

Finally, Jasper gasped. "Your majesty!" He got down on his knees and bowed. "I am so sorry for my tardiness. It is an honor to see you here!"

Bowser smiled, making sure to make his teeth visible to Jasper. "No worries, Jasper Starfold. The honor is mine."

Especially since I am here to kill you. He didn't say that, even though he could feel the sentence on the tip of his tongue. Jasper rose to his feet and chuckled apprehensively. He straightened his mohawk.

"That's good to hear! I would think that, since this place is basically a post-apocalyptic wasteland, that you wouldn't bother to stop by here."

Bowser laughed. "I could care less about the house. It is you I am here for."

Jasper blinked. "Me? Why?"

Bowser smirked. A valid question if he ever heard one, considering that Jasper was not extraordinary in the least way. Well, with the possible exception of being extraordinarily terrible.

"Oh, no reason," Bowser said, trying to cover up his anger with a sing-song voice. He reached out and grabbed Jasper's mohawk. When he spoke, he growled. "I just need you to come with me right now."

Before Jasper could verbally react, Bowser gave a tug on his hair. Jasper fell onto his back. Dust sprang up from the ground, but Bowser didn't cough. He just scrunched up his eyes brows, furrowed his nose, and literally dragged Jasper away. It wasn't until they had walked five yards that Jasper screamed.

"No! What's happening! Is this a dream?"

Bowser didn't respond. He wouldn't give Jasper that level of dignity. Jasper kicked and clawed at Bowser's hand. Nevertheless, the Koopa King's grip around his mohawk wouldn't loosen.

"Where are you taking me?" Jasper screeched.

Bowser smiled, but did not stop walking. "Oh, I am taking you someplace very special. Someplace where you won't bother anyone ever again."

"B..bother anyone?" Jasper asked. "Have I ever bothered people? I haven't gone out of my way to!"

"HA!" Bowser guffawed. "Oh, you're funny."

Bowser continued on with his determined march. The dusty terrain of the Koopa Kingdom countryside stretched on for miles and miles. Bowser trekked over rocky hills, the dirt clinging to the bottom of his feet. He smiled. Just a few more miles, and he and Jasper would be back at his castle. Then, he could effectively lock Jasper in the dungeons where he belonged. There would be where he would stay until his inevitable death.

Oh, Bowser loved being evil.

The scenery shifted around the two koopas as Bowser continued on. A normally inactive volcano erupted in a smoggy explosion. Purple smoke was vomited into the sky, clogging out any and all blue. The smell was toxic. Cinders and ashes overtook Bowser's vision. The heat actually caused him to wipe his brow, even though he knew logically that koopas didn't sweat. If Bowser and Jasper had been humans, they would have perished due to the smell alone. Thankfully, being koopas, they both were used to this sort of weather.

Jasper's breathing had been ragged and frantic when Bowser had originally started dragging him away, but to Bowser's surprise, the Koopalings' father had stopped doing so. In fact, he had even stopped kicking and screaming. If Bowser didn't know any better, he would have suspected that Jasper had died right before the volcanic eruption. Unfortunately, he spoke up, signifying that he hadn't died yet.

"You know, being dragged across the floor in this way isn't as bad as I thought. It is actually quite nice."

Bowser smirked. "Well, I hope that you get as much enjoyment out of this as possible. Because, as soon as we get to the castle, you will no longer be allowed to have fun."

"You're taking me to the Castle? Why?"

"You know, Jasper, I have been thinking. As the King of the Koopa Kingdom and adopted father of your biological children, I have a lot of duties to uphold. I have to keep not only my Kingdom safe, but also my kids. It seems to me that having you be executed would kill two birds with one stone."

Jasper's gasped. "You're gonna have me executed!" He resumed struggling and kicking. "No! You can't!"

"Technically, I can, Buster, because I'm the king….YEEOOOW!"

Bowser let go of Jasper and grabbed hold of his foot. He had stepped on a particular sharp and pointy stone. When he pulled it out, blood seeped out of the gash.

Bowser grimaced. "Ow, mama mia, that hurt."

Unfortunately, this gave Jasper the perfect opportunity to run away. He scampered across the black landscape like a squirrel scampers across a yard.

Bowser growled. "You get your scaly butt back here!"

Being bigger, and thus having a larger stride, Bowser would easily have been able to catch up to Jasper. At least, under normal circumstances. Unfortunately, the hole in his foot ached. What was worse was when Bowser put his full weight on the leg. It felt as if his foot would fall straight off and skittishly hop away from him. So, Bowser had to limp after Jasper.

The Koopalings' father ran with every last fiber of his being. It looked exhausting to the Koopa King, as he could hear his ragged breathing even from where he stood. What's more, the toxic smog from the volcanic eruption was settling down like fog. It covered the landscape, making trying to spot Jasper a pain in the tailpipe. By the time that Bowser had limped his way over to Jasper, the smog had made his sense of sight completely useless.

"Where are you, you child killing scamp!" Bowser called out. He brawled his fists. "Come on and fight like a Koopa!"

Bowser activated his fire breath, thinking that that would be able to light the way. Unfortunately, he forgot that the smog was flammable. When the fire poured out of his mouth, the smog ignited and caused an explosion. Bowser screamed as he was pushed to the ground. He could just vaguely hear Jasper scream too. A painful crunch occurred when both of them landed.

"Oww! My tail!" Bowser yelled.

"I can't move," Jasper moaned.

Bowser perked up upon hearing this. He got to his feet and clumsily made his way around.

"Marco!" He called out. No answer. "Marco! Marco!" Still, there was no answer. Bowser huffed. "Oh, come on, you aren't playing the game correctly! You're supposed to shout Polo! Yaah!"

Bowser yelled when he felt his foot land on something squishy and bony. He lifted his foot and saw Jasper lying on his shell. Jasper's pupils were tiny.

Bowser smiled. "Gotcha."

"Eek!" Jasper squealed. Bowser made a grab for his mohawk once again, but the Koopalings' father rolled out of the way in the nick of time. Bowser sent another fist straight toward his face, but it got caught in the ground. As Bowser struggled to get his meaty fist out of the crevice, Jasper got to his feet.

"You get back here!" Bowser yelled. He gave one last effort-filled grunt and successfully got his fist out of the hole. He stood to his feet. "I'll get you….OWWWHAHAHOW!"

Bowser fell to his knees. He grasped his foot, which was throbbing and pulsating. The cut was dirty, red, and bleeding something fierce. Bowser glanced up and saw Jasper running away. He sighed.

"If only someone magical would come out of nowhere and help me."

"Clearus Crystal!"

Bowser blinked. That voice sounded familiar. Too familiar. While it sounded melodical and wise, there was something about it. Something that filled Bowser with...annoyance.

Thankfully, the words that the voice had spoken seemed to be magical, as the smog began to lift back up into the sky. The scenery, while still dark, was noticeably less dark and actually allowed Bowser to get an eyeful of his surroundings. He saw Jasper, who had stopped running and just looked up in the sky in confusion.

"What the skyrockets is going on…?"

"Petrifus Instant!"

A magical blast the color of bluebelles shot right towards Jasper. It hit him, and he froze in place like a TV show put on pause. His eyes remained wide open, his mouth remained slack jawed. This expression perfectly mirrored the expression that Bowser himself sported.

"Okay, what the World Eight just happened?"

That question was answered as soon as the Koopa King looked up in the sky. There was Kamek, levitating on his magic broom. In his hand he wielded his magic wand.

Bowser gawked. "Kamek?" He approached as the royal magikoopa lowered himself onto the ground. "What are you doing here?"

Kamek dismounted his broom and glared at the Koopa King. "What does it look like, your majesty? I am rescuing you from a failure brought on by your own stupidity."

Bowser scratched his head. "Uh, thanks, but how did you know I was here?"

Kamek's eyebrows scrunched up. "You really don't remember?"

…

Kamek had just been reading a book in his study. He sat at his table and chortled.

"Oh ho ho, man," he said with a smile. "The Importance of Being Earnest really is a comic masterpiece!"

Suddenly, the door to the study burst open. Light flooded the room as Bowser, with an enthusiastic grin on his face, stood in the doorway.

"KamekIamgoingtogofindtheKoopalingsbiologicaldadinGenericaandbringhimtothecastlesoIcanexecutehiminthemorningandImightstopfordonutsonthewayokaybye!"

…

"I followed you all the way to Generica on my broom," said Kamek. "Unfortunately, you were gone by the time I got there, so I followed your route back to the castle, and well...here we are."

Bowser chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. "Th...thanks. Although, I was doing just fine on my own."

"Mmhm," said Kamek with a raised eyebrow. "That hole in your foot is a sure sign that you were doing well." He sighed, shook his head, and turned to the frozen in place Jasper. "Might as well take this loon back to the castle before the spell wears off."

"Good idea," Bowser said. "Although, before we do that, can we stop for donuts?"

Bowser cast Kamek a "pwease Mommy" smile. Kamek rolled his eyes all the way back in his head.

"Uggghhh." He didn't object though, just followed the Koopa King to the nearest donut shop with Jasper's petrified body in tow.