Fox McCloud, yes the McCloud not the deceased, rotting corpse of the other plot device McCloud, struggled to combat such a ferocious beast known to ma—Cornarians! A hungry, hungry mammoth. Now, you might question this, and no, not the action in which that's occurred, but the mere act of insight from Fox to even know how to evaluate such a creature? Unless somewhere within the 64 manual explains such a thing, but it appears not! But Fox, Fox, Fox not the animal fox or else that'd be weird, stared down such a beast.

It stared at him blankely and lifeless because much like' Conker's Live and Reloaded™' Rare was too lazy to animate the faces too well so now all that is left is what manifest within your noggin.
Which is a you issue not a me. For I am a dirty liberal and everything beyond me isn't really worth caring about unless it effects me.

Star Fox Adventures
the fifth chapter, this one by cow-nipples
Fox is the fox who's Fox McCloud!

Another thought came to Fox's mind and not your mind, why can't he beat this creature in combat instead of wits? Why is he allowed to mindlessly thrash through monotonous arts of conflict known as gameplay? And really stretching the word gameplay here.

Fox pointed at a convenient square block of ice. "Why can't you move it?"

"Aye, laddy, I jus' can't for I don't hav' any extremities!" It sounded like Shrek, which came out first. "I mean, 'm trunk could count'n all but 's not really made for such work."

"Yeah well I need it moved! Do I look like I handle tedious work-labor? I'm a mercenary, that means I can legally murder peo-Cornarians without consequences!"

"Well, her' da thing, lad, I ain't a Cornever, 'n if ya tried, I'd flatten ya. So, best to get to pushing, eh?" He nudged his head in the direction of the ice cube, or is it a block? Google, what defines a block from a cube?

What? Is it getting in the script? It stays, I never edit my work.

Fox snarled and pointed the head of the staff-spear at the Mammoth. "Don't make me!"

"I'm too hungry to talk to strangers," Stated the Mammoth with a blank and emotionless expression, which is redundant adjective but readers really, really love the pointless flowery writing.

Fox pivoted, huffing and stowing the staff. He crossed his arms before he peered at the stainless snow, blanketing the landscape and encumbering it within its melancholy and chocking the life from any vegetation that dares to try to defy it. He winced from the refracting light and shivered when the bitter chill lashed at his fur. Fox's boots rapped against the frozen lake as he approached the block.

The block did not notice his presence for it's a block, dummy.

Extending a hand, Fox touched its abrasive, frigid surface and retracted his hand back as he hissed. "This is stupid." He mustered up the will and rotated his shoulders as he alternated between the two. He pushed the block into a slot, oddly enough in the direction he needed to head to.

The wind howled, clawing his back and exposed limbs. Is this place really worth saving? Couldn't have Pepper foisted such a responsibility on one of the branches of the mil—oh right, that's what Star Fox is for.

…Hoo-ray…

He waded through the ankle high snow, and Fox is small so it isn't really that impressive it's because he was born a beta-male like Ben McCwhotakesthisdudeseriously, and slid down an incline to a clearing.

More nothing besides some rocks or dying grass. Some other pointless mammoth's with no interesting dialog or importance and, oh, hey a clearing towards the mountain with a sharp claw guard made to be clobbered.

E.A.S.Y.

Fox readied his staff by his side.

The THICK sharp-claw didn't seem to notice or maybe he didn't care for his demise?

He charged head first. The stupid lizard picked his nose. Fox continued to charge. The lizard just stared. Fox, none the less, still charged. The lizard tooted. Fox for an inconvenient amount of time was still charging at the sharp-claw. The lizard was busy being a lizard. Fox panted and heaved as he continued with the headstrong charge for he was able to take on anyone. The lizard stood there because you get the joke right? I'm funny referencing someone's else's joke even tho I'm stealing the joke, but it isn't stealing because I'm referencing it!
I'm not like that hack Carlos Mencia!

The staff plunged towards the lizard but bowed and arched till it flicked off of the sharp-claw's armor and flung Fox back and into the snow.

"What!" Fox sat upright, perplexed by such a thing.

"Do-huh, you can't kill me cuz I'm not an enemy."

"But you're a sharp-claw, so there for you're an enemy!"

"Just cuz I'm a species does not mean I align with it. We aren't a monolithic race to project ideology on nor are we all ideologues." The sapphire-blue scaled sharp-claw peered down at Fox with a smug look across his face.

"That makes no sense in my black-and-white world view!"

"The world is bigger than how myopic perspective. Get over yourself, conservative."

Fox patted his hand on his chest. "I am a liberal thank you very much!"

The sharp claw rolled his eyes. "Two sides of the same coin."

Resting his hands on his hip, Fox puffed out his chest. "Nuh-huh! One only cares about profit and conserving the old ways." He extended his hand to the right to help with this analogy because the writer doubts the reader's ability to understand, this is what we call in the industry bad writing. "The other cares about profit and pretending to be progressive while undermining minority's institutions." He moved his hand to the left for the heavy-handed commentary. Why do fanfiction writers do this? Do they really doubt other's intelligence that much? Or is it an act of superiority and insecurity? Who knows! "Besides, you're working for a fascist!"

"Not entirely…" He scratched his chin. "I don't have any volition nor say in it for I'm a simple stand in. A NPC if you say. I can't really have an affiliation beyond this role for once you're done speaking with me, I shall not exist."

The existential dread of the pause button crept its way up his spine and latch onto his mind till he shook it off.

Fox threw his hands towards the sharp claw. "And yet here you are with ideas and the sort!"

"Yes, I am, I've got idea and beliefs and all the sort but simply because I am a NPC, I am stuck in an assign role regardless. There is will, only so far as you remain here. Yet once you wonder off, well, it all ceases to be."

"...What…?"

"I only exist to hinder your adventure. I have no story, I have no say, I have no meaning." The sharp claw shrugged. "I don't even have a name!"

Fox gawked. "I don't know what you're speaking about nor do I understand."

"Typical liberal." The sharp claw puffed up the drooping feather. "Anything beyond your concept of reality throws you off."

Fox thrust his paws onto his chest and snarled. "Why do you have an issue with someone as progressive as me!"

"Bah, progressive." The sharp claw rolled his eyes. "Liberals, centrist, and conservatives are all the same." He paused. "Self centered and annoying."

He threw a temper tantrum like a filthy liberal on twitter. "I WORK SO HARD MAKING SURE TO BUY THE RIGHT THING FROM OTHER EVIL CORPORATION THAT OFFER LITTLE DONATIONS TO SUFFERING PEO—CORNERIANS ACROSS THE WORLD BUT STILL EXPLOIT THE SAME CORNERIANS THEY CLAIM TO HELP BY CAUSING SLAVE WAGES IN OTHER NATIONS AND ALSO GET A TAX CUT!" Fox threw the staff on the ground and trampled over it as he whined, "I VOTED FOR A MINORITY PRESIDENT WHO STILL CAUSED DRONE STRIKES, NEVER ACKNOWLEDGE FLINT'S WATER CRISIS, AND UNDERMINES MINORITY MOVEMENTS! I BUY ALL MY FOODS FROM ORGANIC MEGA CORPORATIONS THAT USE CHILD LABOR. I SUPPORTED THE MALE'S RIGHT MOVEMENT, AUTISM SPEAKS, AND STRAIGHT PRIDE! I SHAME MIDDLE CLASS PEOPLE FOR USING PLASTIC STRAWS. AND I MAKE SURE I'LL DIE FOR THE RIGHT FOR PEOPLE TO USE SLURS AGAINST MINORITIES BUT NEVER AGAINST THE MAJORITY! CRACKER AND HONKEY OFFENDS ME!" He continued to whine like a child for hours on end.

The sharp claw turned to the screen and spoke to directly, "And people said there's no politics in games!"
[Insert stock laugh track like The Big Bang Theory.]

Fox upturned his nose, pouting. "Nuh-huh, games aren't pol-it-ical," He struggled to pronounce it because real gamers are really adverse to it but definitely not slurs (See World of Warcraft's World Chat/Destiny's N-word manifesto for more info). "Like Metal Gear and Cawaduty!"

The sharp-claw tilted his helmet back, scratching his head. "I see, liberal brain rot. Typical."
[Insert stock laugh track like The Big Bang Theory.]

"How are they then! HMMMMMMMMMM?"

He blew the feather drooping from his helmet from his face. "One is a criticism of the U.S. The other is propaganda empowerment while justifying the invasion of the Iraq War while profiting off of war-crimes."
Fox covered his ears and screamed, "NANANANANA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU. NANANANANANANANA." The true ingenious ideology of a reactionary summed up in a rudimentary format because, again, the writer doubts the reader's cognitive abilities.

[Insert stock laugh track like The Big Bang Theory.] Is this funny yet? Are you laughing yet? Please tell me you're laughing because my life has no meaning without the haha.

"Well, this was a waste of time." The sharp claw mumbled, "What did the script say again?" He snapped his finger. "Oh yeah. You need scarabs to pass."

"Nana—a…" Fox's eyes widened. "Oh, I got some from this mobster." He handed the THICK sharp claw some wiggly bugs or what not because it all looks the same to him because as a liberal/centrist it is not his duty to learn nor care about other cultures much like it isn't the duty of the writer to bother learning about other cultures' custom and simply appropriate it in a lazy way and call it a day by simply miss representing it, profiting off of it, and whitewashing it so much that it becomes commodified to a point of having no meaning anymore. (See Norse Mythology, Native Americans, Paganism, and now Judaism with zionist/judicial christian alt-right movement for more info.)

"Those are bugs." The sharp claw squinted at him.

"Yeah, and?" Fox cringed as the things wriggled in his paws not hands because furries have paws and not hands and oh god why the fuck did Rare give Fox nails and not claws, jesus, it's so gross to look at!

"Scarabs, idiot."

"Are these not? I mean, bugs are bugs yeah and you like eat these right?"

"...Your ignorance is astonishing." The sharp claw raised a brow or can lizard/scalies do that? Does someone have a dragonsona or what-have-you and explain this? Or no wait, dragons have hair/fur on them…umm…how about a dinosaur then!

"Just take my bugs and shut up." Fox threw them at his face and sprinted by into an aqueduct or whatever that was? Sewage passage? I mean honestly, what was that even built for? How am I suppose to dispense my belief this far? Sure, talking animals and whatever I've seen plenty of but this? What is this? How was it even built or what is it purpose? It's called ludonarrative for a reason and this makes none. No wonder this game flopped. But anyway, for plot sake, Fox slipped through the channels, flipped a inconvenient switch that barely passes as a puzzle and headed…wait, no. So like here's the thing yeah? Tricky is a prince, right? And this whole time, he's been 'imprisoned', talking about the Star Fox story not my story because my story makes no sense as is but more sense than that, and all this time no one did a thing? Nothing, nothing at all. All Fox did was like teleport a few miles away and yet no one else could do this? Are they this helpless to do anything? Is all they can do is eat grass all day? Or is this how white-cis-het liberals see the world? It can only be saved by one person while everyone else just picks their butt and hopes to be saved?

Stupid, this is terrible. Children and you deserved so much better but this is what you got.

Rare was never a good game company to begin with. It shows.

But then, Fox was struck by a morbid conundrum.

IF he's here and his friends are up here and he's there and they're in there and he's here therefor means they're there and he's here and since he's here and they're there that'd mean they aren't there because he's here and if he's here and they're there they're not there because nothing exist past him if he's here and they're there and not there at the same time, which meant he needed to be there for them to be there but he's not there and since he can't be there they won't be there and aren't here and if they aren't here what's the point of even being here if they aren't there?

Slowly raising his quivering arm by his face, Fox flicked his wrist communicator on. "Slippy?" He peered at the video feed in relief but noticed some kind of ashy stuff caked the moist boy. Fox gawked for his brief sense of relief diminished as dread crept up his spine.

"What?"

"...What is that?"

"Huh?" Slippy's eyes rounded.

"Your face, what do you…have on your face?"

Slippy touched his face, smudging his cheek and imprinting a webbed marking. He fixated on his hand. "Oh…"

"Oh? That doesn't answer me!"

"Umm…" His eyes trailed away. "It's crusty mamma juice."

Fox scrunched his face. His words lodged in his throat until he mustered them out with a whimper, "What does that mean?"

"It's complicated?"

"Slippy, man, c'mon. Tell me."

Fidgeting in place, Slippy rubbed the back of his neck.

"Is it that b-"

"I'm going to be real, it's your mom." Slippy winced.

He sighed. "That's not funny."

"No, really, it's your mom."

Fox stared in disbelief. Unable to comprehend his mixed emotions.

Slippy scrunched up. "You're upset at me, aren't you?"
[Insert stock laugh track like The Big Bang Theory.]

"I…I…honestly…" His mouth moved as he struggled to put his words together, "Don't know?"

Neither said a word. It's awkward seeing the remains of his parents on his friend's face.

"Why?" Fox asked.

"Umm…" Slippy's eyes skirted to the floor. "You know how you've been working really hard, lately?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I wanted to do what you do and be as cool and awesome and gooddoer as you cuz you're so great at what you do and I'm just a lame character no one likes."

Fox scratched his chin. "Ugh…character?"

"I…I just wanted to help you like you always helped me because I'm always need help with everything cuz I'm not that g-great," Slippy chocked on his words, "At what I do and you are and I just wanted to be useful to you. Cuz you're my best friend in the whole entire galaxy"

"Hey, you are, trust me, bud. You're our caboose! You help fix things."

"All I do is hit things with a wrench. I feel like I'm being lied to. I don't feel like I fix things when I go smashy-smashy on the brokey-wokey cuz it's still broken but you said I fix it but it's not fix. I'm just hitting it over and over thinking it'd be fix. But I can't, I can't fix things like you fixing the planet! I just…I just want to do what you do so badly!"

"But you do! You're great at fixing anything!" Fox lied.

Slippy bawled into his hands while he sniffled and cried:

"B-but I couldn't fix your mom!"

Fox's shoulders eased. "Slippy, my mom is dead, you can't fix that. No one can."

"I wanted to make you a new mom."

Half heartedly smiling, Fox shook his head. "I don't need a new mom or a dad." Fox paused. "…They're gone…" His ears slanted. "But I have you guys, and you're all like family to me" Fox smiled at Slippy.

"F-family? You really consi-"

"Of course, bud. You, Peppy, and Falco. We're Star Fox and I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Do you mean it?"

Cool and collected, Fox stated sincerely for once, "Yes."

"Internet hug?"

"Internet hug!"

Slippy pretended to reach out and hug Fox while Fox reciprocated the gesture. "You are the bestest friend anyone could ever wish for."

"Same for you, Slippy. thank you for trying."
[Insert stock d'aww track.]