Uenoyama arrives late at his apartment that evening. There are no rehearsals tomorrow, or for the entire weekend so he has a lot of free time on his hands. I sort of forgot what that entails, Uenoyama thinks irritably, opening a can of beer and stepping outside the balcony. It's Itaya's fault, he cleared up my schedule despite recording sessions having started; I don't know what he is thinking anymore.
What I mean to say is, Uecchi, you should go.
„Of course," Uenoyama grunts and reaches for the lighter, a cigarette hanging from his lips. It's easy for him to say to go to Kaji-san's birthday party but then again...
Uenoyama stops cold in his meditation. Then again... what, he wonders. Mafuyu will be there, that much is for sure, but that is precisely what he wants. There might've been a lot of things that Uenoyama is pendulating between in his life, but when it comes to music, the picture is rather clear. And the same can be said about Mafuyu.
The can of beer is half-empty, still cold in Uenoyama's hands. It's not like him to be drinking alone at his apartment, but he is desperate for some comfort. And what better succor during uncertain times than the pleasant haze alcohol provides.
In a way, Uenoyama is dying to attend the party. Seeing Haruki brought his smile back, and he wouldn't mind spending more time in his company. The thought of meeting Akihiko still sends shivers down his spine, but that's only because he feels guilty, although he is confident a sincere apology can appease his former bandmate. And to see Mafuyu again has been a craving so deeply etched in his heart, there's little he can do to stop it from surfacing. But the reason he keeps avoiding RSVP-ing is also because of Mafuyu.
He tilts his head forward, hiding his frown in the can of beer. What if Mafuyu brings his boyfriend, Uenoyama thinks and clicks his tongue, now almost a reflex whenever the thought appears in his mind.
„I don't know how I'll handle that," Uenoyama sighs and exhales a cloud of smoke. It's frustrating, but if that means I get to see him again, maybe...maybe I can endure. I wasn't able to make him happy; that's why he pushed me away. And possibly up to a point, I deserved his rejection.
That fateful day's events are now playing in Uenoyama's mind. He is at school, making his way to the staircase well behind the gym, their usual meeting place. Mafuyu asked him to come there after classes, and Uenoyama was quick to show up.
Uenoyama distinctly remembers how excited he was that day. How excited he allowed himself to be. Because he knew Mafuyu made up his mind. Because he thought he was going to confirm his desire to debut with Given.
He made up his mind all right, Uenoyama thinks critically and opens another can of beer. He decided that music wasn't something he wanted. And to make matters even more exciting...
We should stop seeing each other.
Is what Mafuyu said, the only thing he said, Uenoyama thinks. „Double dumped," Uenoyama drinks from his beer, a bit too thirsty, as though trying to drown the sound of Mafuyu's voice echoing in his mind. Mafuyu never returned to that spot, Uenoyma's thoughts keep rushing, he stopped looking for me. He did everything he could to avoid me.
„But then again," Uenoyama murmurs, lowering his head, ash falling from his cigarette and drifting away in the brisk autumnal wind, „so did I." I was so hurt, and up to a point I don't even remember showing up for classes or studying for my exams, Uenoyama thinks, it's all a haze. „Damn it," he then sighs and takes another long drink of his beer, „how are you still in my mind after all these years?"
Uenoyama rubs his eyes and turns to grab another beer from the convenience store bag behind him. He flinches when he spots Mafuyu's book resting right beside it. Uenoyama exhales, surprised at the recent habits he's developed. He has been carrying the book diligently every day, although having not met with Haruki ever since he discovered Mafuyu's handwritten dedication.
Haruki-san has been busy with lectures and exams, and I with music, Uenoyama thinks, or at least that's what I told him. And he believed me. He was so eager to help me, but I fear I might end up disappointing him again if I take more of his time and then have nothing to show for it.
Uenoyama lowers his eyes and clutches onto the balcony railing. The only reason I reached out to Haruki-san was because of Mafuyu, Uenoyama thinks and lifts his eyes, the night's cold chill invading his bones. In a way, even if Mafuyu's the reason I ended our friendship, he is the one bringing us together again and this...this party might seal the deal.
Uenoyama leans forward and picks up the book from the balcony floor. He steps inside the apartment, a different energy to him, and almost immediately goes looking for his phone.
Uenoyama is on the train on his way to Akihiko's birthday party. Haruki was kind enough to share the address of the party with him after he agreed to come, and much to Uenoyama's surprise, they are living together. At Haruki-san's apartment, Uenoyama thinks, recognizing the address since he was the before.
A long time ago.
Mafuyu and I went to him to ask him permission to start dating, Uenoyama thinks, and his chest tightens, little did I know where all that would take us in the end.
He sighs, forcing himself to abandon that rush of melancholy he felt nipping at his heart. Things are right for Haruki-san and Kaji-san, Uenoyma refocuses his thoughts. I don't know much about what they went through, but regardless of that, they made it work somehow.
Uenoyama can see his tame smile reflected in the window as the train rises to the surface from the underground tunnel. But that's not his genuine smile. Because there's still a hint of sorrow lining it.
The train announcement echoes in his ears and Uenoyama finds that his stop is approaching. He stiffens, his nerves finally getting to him.
Uenoyama then takes in a deep breath, remembering one of the five conversations he had with Itaya that day on the phone. After he informed his friend that he would be attending the party, Itaya assaulted his phone with both calls and text messages.
He probably wrote to me just as things came in his mind, Uenoyama thinks irritably. While the reason behind those calls was to give me advice, I could've done without some of them.
Stand up straight, speak when spoken to, don't space out, don't run outside. Talk about the things you like, steer clear of the things you don't. Don't glare, don't stare, don't ogle. Leave your arrogance at the door, also your snappiness, and that thing you do with your face. When you can't be asked to deal with people and dismiss them with a look. You know what I'm talking about. Oh, and whatever you do, keep in mind that you are there to have fun. So feel free to do that.
Itaya really thinks I'm hopeless, Uenoyama thinks, the realization striking him profoundly, like I'm some sort of socializing rookie. He then shakes his head, dismissing his thoughts, although, at the same time, he can feel his heart filling with joy, his friend's care honestly a blessing.
Due to Itaya's persistence, Uenoyama made sure to buy the most expensive cake in the bakery as well as some fancy bottles of wine before heading out that day. They are somewhat heavy in his hand, but he is determined to deliver them in one piece. Uenoyama is so careful when walking that by the time he arrives at the block entrance, he is as exhausted as though he had just finished running a marathon, faint traces of sweat emerging at the back of his neck.
Then again, it could also be the nerves, a fact evident through his shaky knees. Uenoyama never considered he'd come to miss his former bandmates until he got to sit down and talk to Haruki again. And now, having them back in his life is an intriguing concept. I was foolish to think I had to distance myself from them, Uenoyama thinks as he is climbing the stairs to Haruki's apartment, but maybe...
You'd be surprised to find distance tends to bring people together better than anything else.
Uenoyama reaches for the doorbell before he can collect himself. His thoughts are roaming violently in his mind, and it's not until he hears somebody fiddling with the lock that they give him peace.
The door opens, and behind it, a tall Akihiko appears. His broad smile fades almost instantly as their gazes meet. Uenoyama can tell he is not pleased with who he sees, though he can't blame him.
Uenoyama swallows and biting his lip, he bows before him. „Good evening, Kaji-san. Haruki-san invited me. And I wanted to say that I'm sorry; I truly am. If there was a way to go back and..."
Uenoyama flinches when he feels Akihiko's hand on his shoulder. With that sudden pressure applied to his weary body, he's unable to finish his sentence.
„Stop being such a dork. I'd rather you wish me happy birthday than start this reunion with an apology. Besides, by the looks of things, that's why you are here."
His tone is cheerful, despite the seriousness of his deep voice. Uenoyama lifts his eyes at him and nods, hesitation still yet to dissipate. Akihiko steps to the side and invites his guest inside the apartment and closes the door behind him.
„Ah, Akihiko, can you please... Ue!" Haruki jumps and rushes to Uenoyama as soon as he sees him in the doorway. „See, Akihiko, I told you he wouldn't bail!"
„Thank you for inviting me, Haruki-san," Uenoyama says, every word stiff with forced composure. „It's nice to...I'm rather..."
Haruki and Akihiko swap expressions briefly, before turning to Uenoyama. Akihiko crosses his arms, his relentless gaze not giving Uenoyama even a hint of a break. It's hard to get a good read on them, and that unnerves him. Uenoyama's eyes are moving between the two, anxiously waiting for a sign of approval from either of them before continuing.
„Happy birthday, Kaji-san," Uenoyama then remembers, and bows quickly after handing him the things he bought. „I'm grateful to be here tonight."
Akihiko smiles and pushes his hand forward. Uenoyama's gaze suddenly refocuses on it, and he stands up straight. He reaches out, and they shake hands, Uenoyama's heart quick to tremble.
„Glad you could make it, Ue," Haruki says and smiles pleasantly before turning and heading towards the living room.
„Come on, there are a lot of people that would like to greet you and talk to you," Akihiko says, the words striking an acute feeling of deja vu in Uenoyama.
Akihiko slides his hand on his back and pushes Uenoyama inside the living room, where he is met with a fascinating sight. Among many of Haruki and Akihiko's friends and coworkers, his sister is lounging a bit too comfortably on the couch.
Yayoi is surrounded by people who, just like her, are having fun, drinking, and laughing, entertaining each other with various discussion topics. Uenoyama notices that Yayoi is feeling right at home in his former bandmate's apartment, a presumption which is confirmed when she nearly jumps out of her skin when she spots her brother approaching.
„Rikka, what are you doing here?" she stutters, still recovering from her shock.
„Cut the kid some slack, Yayoi," Akihiko interjects, noticing how flustered Uenoyama got when under the pairs of eyes that darted at him. „It wouldn't have been much of a party without him, anyway," he winks playfully, relaxed and in good spirits, and for some reason unexplainable for Uenoyama, incredibly welcoming.
Akihiko is in many ways the same as he remembers him, although there are moments, just like that one, in which Uenoyama could swear something is different. Akihiko seems calmer and a lot more patient, forgiving perhaps. Uenoyama is caught staring at him for a long time even after he leaves their side to help Haruki prepare some drinks, still trying to get accustomed to this version of Akihiko.
„And then, because this guy here forgot to pick up his guitar from the hallway," Yayoi says and pushes her hand toward her brother, making him flinch slightly, „I was this close to stumbling and falling face first. Can you imagine? What if I ended up breaking my neck on the day of my thesis presentation?"
Her friends are carefully listening to her stories, holding onto their stomachs, tears of joy adorning their eyes, while she is relentless in her stories involving her clumsy little brother. Uenoyama fights his reddening cheeks at first but gives up after a while. He notices how much fun everyone is having and can see that Yayoi is not trying to embarrass him. On the contrary, she wants to include him in the conversation, to show him that his presence is appreciated and that he can be a part of their circles of friends if only he is willing to join in.
Uenoyama's shoulders relax, and winning over his hesitation, he opens his mouth to speak. „Hey, Yayoi, what about that time when..." Uenoyama tries to say, but he cannot shake the feeling that those around him suddenly got distracted. They are not looking at him but through him. No, that's not it, Uenoyama forces a thought, behind me.
Uenoyama then turns around, following their line of sight. He is now intrigued to try and determine the reason behind their distracted gazes. His eyebrows shoot upward as he is met with the sight of the latest guest that Akihiko greets and invites into the apartment.
„Good evening," the guest chirps, and Uenoyama senses his blood turning cold.
„Mafuyu-chan!" Haruki goes to embrace him when he sees him making his way from over the hallway and into the living room. „It's so good to see you again."
Maufyu is smiling, quick to return Haruki's welcoming embrace. They seem so close, Uenoyama thinks, unable to bring himself to break his stare. While everyone else around him is slowly resuming with their stories and gossip to notice, his sister catches the change in her brother's drive.
Uenoyama forces his mouth open, and Yayoi expects that he might say something at any moment. Although it seems like he is trying to speak or to scream or yell, nothing happens. He is just frozen, his eyes fixated, unblinking, unmoving, pale as though having seen a ghost.
Uenoyama then jolts. Somebody is bumping his foot from under the table, and coming back to reality, he redirects his attention to the perpetrator.
„Don't be rude, Rikka," Yayoi says under her breath. „Go and get me a drink, why don't you?"
She speaks too quickly for him to understand her words, or rather her real intention. But after taking a deep breath of air, Uenoyama stands up from the couch. He is clumsily making his way past the other guests gathered around the living room, turning to his sister every now and against, wondering what she was thinking to send him away so abruptly. He is moving away, but his gaze remains on her.
Unable to understand her aggrieved facial expressions, he then turns towards the counter where the drinks are. Instead of the bottles of alcohol, however, he meets Mafuyu's pleasant eyes.
„Well, isn't this just perfect! Mafuyu, Ue can show you around; he knows where everything is by now. I hope you will have fun and thank you again for coming," Haruki cheers and turns towards the couch where Uenoyama was sitting moments ago.
Haruki is gone before Uenoyama can protest. He stirs, realizing he is left all alone with a bewildered Mafuyu beside him. He tries to hide his flustered gaze from Mafuyu, but not wanting to be rude, Uenoyama chooses to speak. „It's nice to see you."
„You too, Uenoyama-kun," Mafuyu smiles, his voice so melodious it sends shivers throughout his entire body. „Have you been here for long?"
„I got here a bit ago and who would have thought," Uenoyama says and goes to rub the back of his neck, „that my sister would be the heart of the party." He huffs out a laugh as he watches Haruki getting comfortable next to his sister on the couch.
Mafuyu hums in agreement, the sight catching his attention as well.
After doing a quick survey of the area around them, to ensure that nobody else came with Mafuyu, Uenoyama's eyes stop on the bar beside him. „Do you want anything to drink?" he asks impulsively.
Mafuyu is reluctant to give a reply, and after spotting his hesitation, Uenoyama winces. „No, I mean, I know you don't want to drink. But maybe there's some water. Or juice," he offers apologetically, remembering Mafuyu's distaste for it.
„Some wine would be great," Mafuyu then says, and Uenoyama repeatedly blinks, struggling to process his statement.
„Oh, of-of course," Uenoyama offers and jumps from beside Mafuyu. "Here, let me."
Uenoyama approaches the counter and bites his tongue, struggling to still his shaking hands. He can't believe what he is about to do, but at the same time, his thumping heart is proof that he is both nervous and excited.
The Mafuyu I used to know would never touch alcohol, Uenoyama thinks critically. But this is not the same Mafuyu from my memories. And with that, Uenoyama becomes eager to learn more. Because for him, Mafuyu has always been the only one who could terrify and intrigue him to the point of imploding.
Beautiful, perfect Mafuyu. The same rebel hair, the same depth to his pleasant expression. At least some things aren't so fast to change, Uenoyama thinks and lifts his eyes to sneak a glance at the person in front of him.
But Mafuyu is watching him; he has been watching him that entire time, and their eyes met for a moment. Mafuyu's eyes, and what a sight for Uenoyama. His heart is about to burst through his chest when he stumbles upon the same innocence and warmth he was expecting, and up to a point, yearning to experience once more.
Uenoyama lowers his gaze to the glass of wine. I wish that lasted for an eternity longer, he thinks and fastens the cap back on the wine bottle. He fills a glass of whiskey for himself and, with both drinks in hand, retraces his steps.
Uenoyama brings the glass closer to Mafuyu as he takes his drink to his lips. It's terrifying to notice how close they are to each other. Terrifying and yet, incredibly exhilarating. Mafuyu reaches out and accepts the glass from Uenoyama, showing his appreciation with a nod.
„It's nice to be here. Everyone finally together, I mean," he then speaks, leaning on the counter behind him. „Don't you think, Uenoyama-kun?"
Uenoyama turns to him and nods slowly. „It is. I never thought we'd be able to meet like this again."
„Why is that?" Mafuyu tilts his head toward Uenoyama and asks.
„Because of everything that happened. I mean, after we..." Uenoyama stumbles, and takes another drink of his whiskey, after which he rethinks his statement. „I had a fallout with the guys."
He aims the corner of his eye to Mafuyu, and his brows furrowing slightly, astonished by the reaction his moment of honesty caused in the red-head. „What are you sniggling about?"
„It seems Haruki-san was right. He did say that without me, there was nobody to keep you under control," Mafuyu says softly and turns to meet Uenoyama's eyes.
„Haruki-san said that?" Uenoyama jolts, surprise flying over his face. „When?"
„At their engagement party."
„They threw a party?"
„Yeah. At the bar where Kaji-san works. There weren't as many people invited, but your sister attended, and her boyfriend too," Mafuyu says, tapping gently on his chin, trying to recall the event.
„And you, um, you were there too, right?" Uenoyama pushes, although the answer is obvious.
Mafuyu nods. „Yes."
Uenoyama's grip tightens around the glass of whiskey. He doesn't understand why he feels so disheartened by what Mafuyu revealed to him, but in a way, he forces himself to think through his predicament. I wasn't in good relations with them, Uenoyama thinks. They chose to invite only those who they knew would encourage their happiness and not those who came to hinder it. He swallows, remorse still burning in his heart.
„I was expecting to see you there too, Uenoyama-kun," Mafuyu then adds, quick to blush. „But, I just assumed you were busy with your music."
„Ye-yeah, that's right," Uenoyama offers, fighting the sinking feeling inside his chest, taking another gulp of his drink, „I was busy making music."
There are too many feelings inside of him, and yet despite his increasing desire to excuse himself and call it a night, Uenoyama doesn't. There's no point; running away only did him harm. And it's in those moments he comes to understand that which he's been avoiding to acknowledge. That all the anger stirring his heart was never directed at anybody in particular. Just himself. For all his shortcomings, for his hesitation, for his ignorance. Uenoyama's eyes widen as the thumping in his head begin to challenge his composure.
„Ue, balcony."
Akihiko appears before Uenoyama and says tersely, gesturing for him to follow after handing him a cigarette.
Uenoyama accepts the cigarette from his hands, and as though yanked forward by an invisible force, he leaves Mafuyu's side.
„How did you know I smoked?" he asks as soon as Akihiko closes the balcony door behind him. „Thank you for the save, by the way."
„I didn't," Akihiko lifts an eyebrow at him. „And yeah, don't mention it. You looked like you were this close to exploding. What's wrong with you?"
„I'm an idiot," Uenoyama says in one breath.
Akihiko gives him a cold, long look. „Yeah, tell me something I don't know."
„No, Kaji-san, I mean it, I really am an idiot," Uenoyama shakes his head and goes to rub his temple with the butts of his fingers. „I had so many great things around me, and then I went and ruined everything."
„What are you talking about?" Akihiko asks with half a mouth, struggling to light his cigarette. „You didn't ruin anything."
Uenoyama lifts his head, his friend's statement unexpectedly sincere. While Uenoyama doesn't even have the power to bring the cigarette to his lips, Akihiko is smoking peacefully beside him, expression still stern.
„Our music, our band, our future, our friendship, and..." Uenoyama presses, whipping around and searching the crowd until his eyes stop on the red-haired guy with the ponytail. „With Mafuyu... I really messed it up, Kaji-san."
Akihiko brings the lighter close to Uenoyama and lights his cigarette. Uenoyama frowns briefly but doesn't refuse the gesture. Akihiko is watching Uenoyama closely as he approaches the balcony rails and begins to smoke beside him.
„He moved on," Uenoyama continues in a low voice, exhaling a cloud of smoke. „And I know I should too, but look at me. I'm just stuck."
„This is the first time you guys see each other in how long?" Akihiko asks.
„Not the first, I stumbled upon him by accident in a restaurant," the reply is plucked reluctantly from Uenoyama's lips. „But to answer your question, too long."
„Yeah, I thought as much. In a way, just so you know, you owe this whole thing to Haruki," he then says and catches Uenoyama's eyes widening. „It was his sneaky idea to bring you two together."
Uenoyama huffs and shakes his head to hide his disbelief. „It's fine; I know I wasn't invited to the engagement party."
Akihiko retreats slightly. „Ah, about that. That was my doing. I'm the one with the grudges."
„So I heard," Uenoyama says and returns to the balcony rails. „Congratulations, by the way, Kaji-san. You and Haruki-san are great together, and I'm glad you two are happy."
Uenoyama's lips curl, and acknowledging the sincerity in his tone, Akihiko nods. Uenoyama takes a deep breath, rubbing the back of his neck as though looking to relieve some of the tension stored there. The cigarette is helping a lot, Uenoyama thinks, bringing it back to his lips. I hope Kaji-san isn't angry about my outburst from before.
„Mafuyu did come with somebody then, you know," Akihiko says after a long moment and glances slyly at Uenoyama.
„Yeah, that much I figured... a guy with curly hair I bet," Uenoyama rolls his eyes, the image of the other man perfectly etched in his memory as though a curse.
Akihiko nods, confirming his suspicions. „So, you met his agent," he then says and presses a hand to Uenoyama's shoulder.
„Slash boyfriend," Uenoyama speaks reluctantly.
„I don't know anything about that," Akihiko clicks his tongue, quick to dismiss Uenoyama's presumption. „But hey, since you so diligently claimed you are still trapped in the past, you should use it a sobering lesson. How does doing your best instead of repeating the mistakes you made back then sound?"
„What-what do you mean?" Uenoyama swallows, looking to end his stutter.
„Talk to him, Uenoyama. You owe it to yourself if nothing else," Akihiko replies, his eyes sharp as his tone. „All that bottled up anger is going to ruin you if you don't deal with it."
Uenoyama's lips thin. The anger he only recently took notice of is evident to those around him. Itaya spotted it, and now Akihiko drew attention to it too. The anger that he didn't do anything. That he didn't fight, that he just accepted things and allowed those dear to him to distance themselves from him. As though a bystander to my own life, Uenoyama thinks, extinguishing his cigarette, a long trail of smoke rising from its smothered tip.
„Listen, I know love is complicated. But once you find it, you must fight for it. Otherwise, it's just lust," Akihiko explains tersely and goes to put out his cigarette as well. „And why would anybody want to be caught up in something like that? There are apps out there that help you out if you are after lust. But love, well, I should know," he adds and turns around only to spot Haruki about to open the balcony door.
„Oh, you two must be freezing out here," Haruki gasps after poking his head outside. „Come on, let's have some cake."
„You heard him, Ue," Akihiko says and smiles at his fiancé so superbly that Haruki's cheeks redden.
Uenoyama nods and follows Akihiko back inside the apartment. And just as they cross the threshold, the guests begin to sing happy birthday to his former bandmate. Everybody is cheering and clapping, and Take even opens up a bottle of champaign in his honor.
Haruki brings over the cake and asks Akihiko to make a wish before they can chow down. Akihiko takes a moment and stares at the cake in front of him. He then huffs, throwing a long pensive glance at Haruki, and shakes his head.
„I have everything I need right here," Akihiko says and puts an arm over Haruki's shoulders, pulling him close, „no additional wishes needed." Haruki feels his ears on fire and is quick to hide his flustered face behind in Akihiko's chest. He got so nervous that Akihiko reaches out to hold the cake for him, of fear it might slip from his shaking hands.
Mafuyu is quick to offer to help, and he goes with together with Haruki to the kitchen, where they begin cutting some slices for everybody.
Uenoyama retreats over to the couch and takes a seat, choosing to enjoy the moment, watching those dearest to his heart share smiles and spreading around glasses of champaign. His sister shortly joins him on the couch, sitting down beside him with a proud air around her.
„Thank you for earlier," he says warmly, finally understanding her push.
Yayoi lifts her eyes to him and goes to rub his arm with her hand. Words that she would like to share with him are hanging from her lips, but that is not the time nor the place. So a nod will have to suffice for the time being. And a broad and sincere smile to encourage her little brother.
„So downtown for a pub crawl, yeah? We will start in the Old Town and move our way up," Take announces for all the guests, and they are quick to cheer, thrilled that the party is far from over.
Haruki turns to Akihiko, understanding that this must've been one of his last-minute ideas. He seems to disapprove, but Akihiko smiles and pats him on the back, and goes to whisper something in his ear. Haruki blushes as Akihiko retreats, his smug smile quick to appear.
„We are ready to go," Yayoi informs her boyfriend, grabbing Uenoyama by the arm and drags him to the door. Uenoyama follows her without protest, even if his eyes are preoccupied surveying the area, looking to spot the person he lost track of a while ago.
It's not until Uenoyama is almost fully dressed up that he sees Mafuyu coming out of one of the adjacent rooms. He looks unwell, or rather, unnerved, staring at his phone before placing it reluctantly back in his pocket. Uenoyama's brows furrow slightly, and he glances away, looking to hide his inquisitive tendencies from those around him.
„Just tell Haruki to call me, and I can tell you where we are. That way, you two can catch up to us, and we can have a few more drinks together," Take barely gets to say before Akihiko pushes him out the door and locks it behind him without actually giving a reply. „Well, that was weird," Take then shrugs and whips around, a bewildered expression on his face.
„Kaji-san is thirsty," Mafuyu says tersely, from the comfort of his long scarf, which was carefully wrapped around his neck and mouth, causing everybody to turn to him.
They all take a long moment to process Mafuyu's words. And once they come to terms with what he implied, Akihiko and Haruki's former guests begin to rush down the stairs, looking to get as far away from their apartment and as quickly as possible—not wanting to disturb their time alone if nothing else.
For a long time, Uenoyama walks beside his sister, listening to her as she talks about her recent endeavors, her plans for the future, and the fact that she has finished her make-up artist courses and is looking to get a job in the area.
„Are you and Take going to move in together?" Uenoyama then asks, and his sister is quick to blush.
„So you heard about that," she stutters. „Yeah, we have been talking about that for sure, but I haven't told mom. I think she will not take it too lightly."
Uenoyama winces, that type of rejection all too familiar for him. „I'm sure they will give you a break. You are their favorite."
„It's not about that, Rikka," she shakes her head, steam clouds escaping her mouth after each word uttered. „You leaving the house so abruptly made them somewhat more possessive. As though they are trying to hold onto me for as long as possible. They fear I might disappear from their lives just like you did," Yayoi adds but takes a long moment before continuing. „Going from two kids to an empty house in such a short burst of time will break their hearts, and I don't want to do that to them."
Uenoyama lowers his head. He understands that what he did was selfish and ignorant towards the feelings of his family, but he didn't see any other option. At the time, it felt like the right thing to do, considering they were so quick to dismiss his wishes to pursue a career in music.
How does doing your best instead of repeating the mistakes you made back then sound?
„I will try to visit sometime next week," Uenoyama says and goes to rub his forehead. „Maybe we can have dinner together. I'm sure that will calm them down. Even if only slightly."
„Would you really?" Yayoi jumps, a bright glow in her eyes. „Oh, Rikka, that is fantastic! They will be so happy! Let me text mom right away."
It might've not been an easy decision to make, but if it's going to help his sister towards her moving out of her childhood home and in with her boyfriend, then that is the least he can do. For her, if not for myself, Uenoyama thinks, I will do it.
Take appears from somewhere behind them and makes his way between the two siblings. For some reason, Uenoyama is sure that he got jealous because Take is quick to grab Yayoi's hand, moving close to her as though looking to make up for the half-hour they spent apart.
Feeling that he might be intruding, Uenoyama falls behind, allowing them to continue their conversation about something that passed by his ears entirely.
Uenoyama is walking alone on the street, the brisk night wind ruffling his hair. Seeing how nicely everything turned out helped him settle his heart. In a way, he's looking forward to reaching a bar and getting something to drink. In times of doubt, just follow Itaya's plan, Uenoyama thinks and goes to check his phone.
„Uenoyama-kun."
Uenoyama's eyebrows shoot upward, and he whips around only to spot a lively Mafuyu doing his best to catch up to him. I was sure he went home, Uenoyama thinks critically, it's not like him to want to go out. Ah, of course, he isn't the child from back then; he is a grown-up, and now, he drinks too.
„You are up for going to the pub crawl?" Uenoyama then asks, letting his phone slip back into his pocket.
„Yes, I would like to spend more time with everybody," he offers and smiles. „And we had barely any time to catch up."
Uenoyama bites his lips, swallowing a gasp. He doesn't know how to respond to that, so he chooses to nod a couple of times and say nothing. They walk side by side down the street, following at a safe distance from Take and Yayoi and a few other of Haruki's friends.
„These past few weeks have been busy for me, with the book signings and all," Mafuyu speaks after a momentary silence. „I had no idea even authors can have so many fans."
„Ah, right. How's that going?" Uenoyama asks, his voice adopting a relieved tone. „The book, I mean."
„It's good but demanding. There are talks about going to promote it to other major cities in the country."
Uenoyama cannot help but smile. „You shouldn't say no to that. Do your best to share your work with the world." He is so diligent, Uenoyama thinks and throws Mafuyu a sly glance. If he only knew the headache his book gave me.
„It's a bit strange, you know?"
The sound of Mafuyu's distinctive soft voice brings Uenoyama out of his thoughts. He then hums inquisitively, encouraging Mafuyu to continue speaking.
„That everything we did while we were apart led us to this moment," Mafuyu says and gazes up at the dark sky above him, his eyes glowing even in the faint light of the street lamps. „I'm glad we met again, Uenoyama-kun."
Uenoyama's breath escapes through his shivering lips, and caught in the moment, he parts them and asks, „Do you want to get some beers at some point?"
Mafuyu lowers his gaze, looking at Uenoyama with surprise. „Aren't you busy with your music?"
„I'm sure I'll find a moment," he replies and tilts his head slightly, more to hide his pride towards his bravery than anything else.
„Yes, that sounds great," Mafuyu says, fidgeting in excitement. „But don't imagine that I am a heavy drinker or anything like that."
„No, no, not at all. Just a beer," he reassures him, noticing his blushing cheeks. „And maybe some food."
„Oh, this is starting to sound like a date," Mafuyu laughs softly.
„No! Of course, not," Uenoyama is quick to interject, and he startles Mafuyu. „I mean, nothing like that." He rubs the back of his neck, his reaction a bit too exaggerated, but his emotions were quick to surface. „Hey, listen. Um, if you want, you can bring your boyfriend too. It's fine, I mean, we can talk and..."
„Boyfriend?" Mafuyu repeats and stops in the middle of the road.
Uenoyama turns to him, taken aback by the confused look on his face. „Yeah, the guy you were with back at the book signing. And at the engagement party."
Mafuyu's lips thin. He grabs the edge of his scarf, pulling it over his mouth as though looking to hide from Uenoyama's intense gaze. „Uenoyama-kun, he isn't my boyfriend."
„What-what did you say?" He asks, almost unable to hear his words due to the thumping of his heart.
„I haven't had a boyfriend since you," Mafuyu lifts his eyes to him and says with such a terrifying honesty it comes to pierce through Uenoyama's chest, rendering him breathless.