Trigger warning: Rape

Chapter 5: Sacrifice

Present day

Killian set his keys on the counter, as Rogers ran circles around the boy who had just entered the apartment. "Get down boy." He said firmly as the old dog planted his front paws on the boy's chest.

"Is this Rogers?"

Killian turned toward the boy and stared. "Yeah, how did you know that?"

"My mom told me all about him. Though he's much bigger than she described."

"Yeah well dogs grow a lot in ten years." He said smugly before realizing it wasn't the boy's fault that his mother had skipped town. "Um, he's getting older, but he still thinks he's a pup." The boy sat down on the floor, letting the dog snuggle up into his lap, licking at his face. "You hungry?" He opened his fridge and groaned. While he welcomed cold beer and a half eaten can of beans and tuna fish, he was sure that a kid wouldn't find any of that satisfactory.

"I'm starving. Dad usually feeds me lunch, but he was gone a long time today."

Killian closed his eyes, trying to focus on the task at hand. "Ok, so what do kids eat?"

The boy shrugged. "I dunno, I'm only allowed bologna sandwiches and water for lunch. Do you have that?"

Killian scrunched his face in disgust. "Bologna? Who eats that?"

"Dad says its cheap and doesn't require any cooking." He shrugged, standing up and plopping down on the couch. Neal truly was a dick, he thought.

"Your mom hates bologna." He said under his breath, looking down at the mail on his counter. "Do you like pizza?"

"Never had it, is it good?"

"Never had pizza?" He said in shock. "How can you be eight years old and never eaten pizza?" He picked up his phone, making the order and then getting the boy a glass of water as he popped the cap on his bottle of beer.

Henry was on the couch, with a book in his hand. As he got closer, he realized it was Emma's favorite. The Golden Age Compendium of Children's Fairy Tales, was a book that Emma had owned as long as he had known her. "Has my mom read this?"

Killian took a seat beside the boy. "Yes, why do you ask?"

"She's told me these stories before. She told me that these stories were where she got her name, Swan."

Killian smiled sadly at the boy. "Well, this is your mom's book."

"Why do you have it?"

"She left it here, many years ago." He said softly. He remembered finding the book, he had waited a year for Emma to return for her things. When she didn't, he finally decided to box up her stuff and put them in storage. It was then that he found the book in an unopened box. Six beers and many tears later, he left the book on the coffee table and that is where it had sat ever since.

"Do you read often?" He asked the boy.

"Mom gets me books when she can, but we move around a lot, so I don't get to keep them. Dad makes us leave them behind." He frowned. "Dad hates books. He makes me watch television a lot though."

Killian shook his head, the wheels in his brain turning as he tried to figure out how he was going to get the kid to tell him the things he needed to know.

"Do you like television?" He picked up the remote, the television lighting up in front of them.

"No." He said angrily, and Killian was surprised at the boy's emotional quick turn.

"Oh, sorry." He clicked the remote to turn off the box in front of them.

"I only watch TV when dad wants to be alone with mom." Killian felt the hairs on his neck stand up, his entire body tensed. "He makes me turn the volume way up and I'm not allowed to leave the room."

Killian had so many things he wanted to ask, but the boy's demeanor had turned sour, his anxiety starting to peak again. "I was never really fond of it either." He offered and the boy smiled. "What do you like to do, Henry?"

"I like reading, going to the park with my mom is fun, but we don't get to do that often. Oh, and I love dinner on Friday's. Dad lets mom make grilled cheese sandwiches."

So many red flags were forming in his mind. We don't get to do that often. Dad lets mom. Dad wants to be alone with mom. His radar was going off in his brain that something was wrong here.

The doorbell rang and Killian reached for his gun. "Stay here, I'll be right back."

He looked out the door to see the pizza delivery man and quickly holstered his weapon to gather the food. Bringing it into the kitchen, he put a slice of pizza on two plates and carried them back to Henry. "Here you go. I think you'll like this." He said with a smile, holding out the plate to the boy.

He took a bite and then closed his eyes. "Oh my, this is really good." He felt a swell of pride in his chest to see the child so blissfully happy, something that seemed rare in his life. "Does my mom like pizza?"

Killian nodded, "Yup, there were times when we would be stuck in a car for days on a stakeout and that would be all we would eat for days."

"My mom was really a cop?"

"She was. I think she had the chance to be a really good one too, had she stuck around."

"My dad won't let her talk about her old life. I heard him once tell her that her old life was dead. I wasn't supposed to be listening to them. Mom cried all night after that." Killian nodded trying to digest the information about Emma's life, not understanding why she was with a man like Neal Cassidy.

"Have you ever listened in on any other things that Neal…" He paused. "That your dad and mom have talked about?"

The boy stared at his lap. "That would be bad, I'm not a bad boy."

"Of course, you aren't. I'm sure you were just checking up on your mom to make sure she was ok. That's good form, kid."

"It's my job to take care of mom. Dad said so. The last time they came back from the hospital, I had to clean the blood out of her hair."

Killian stared at the boy, blinking slowly. "Why were they in the hospital?" He swallowed, waiting for the lad to answer.

"Dad says mom is clumsy. She's always breaking her arm or falling down the stairs. That's what happened last time, she fell down the stairs and there was all this blood stuck in her hair from the cuts on her face."

Killian's felt his blood boil. "Sounds like you are a very good kid. I'm glad your mom has you." He was met with a sincere smile. He took his empty plate and watched as the boy rubbed his eyes. He knew that he should let the boy sleep, knowing that the day was probably a lot for the child to deal with. "Are you tired?"

"Kinda."

Killian looked around the apartment, where was he supposed to put a kid? "Let me get you some blankets, are you ok camping out on the couch?"

"I'm good. Mom says I can sleep anywhere." He laughed and Killian gathered a pillow and blankets from the hall closet, setting up the couch for him.

"Let me know if you need anything, tomorrow maybe we can go to the park and talk some more."

"That sounds fun." He sat on the couch and looked around the room sadly. "When am I gonna get to see my mom again?"

"That's gonna be up to your mom, kid. Hopefully, she reaches out to us soon."

He shut off the lights and the boy whimpered. "Um…mom doesn't turn the lights off in our room."

Killian clicked the table lamp and smiled sadly at the boy. "Sorry, lad. I'll be just down the hall if you need anything."

"Thanks, Detective Jones."

"Just call me Killian." He said softly, walking back to his room and shutting the door behind him. He ran his hands through his hair as he sat on the edge of his bed.

What the hell happened to you Emma?

Ten years ago

"We meet again, Officer." Emma's blood ran cold, feeling the pistol at the back of her head. She wondered if this were how her life would end.

"Remember me?" He laughed as he sat up in the back seat, his face becoming visible in her rear-view mirror.

Neal Cassidy.

"I see your shoulder has healed." He pushed the gun into her arm.

"What do you want?" She spat.

"Well, I could give you a whole speech about why I'm here, but I'll save it and make it simple. I want him. Your partner." Emma flinched. "It was easy to find you, you bought this apartment two years ago, once I traced that, I figured it wouldn't be long until you arrived home. But Jones on the other hand, he has nothing in his name. So, I'm just gonna let you take me to him."

She felt relief when she realized he didn't know they shared an apartment. That meant he didn't know they were married. She could make this work for her.

"Fine, but I happen to know that he's out right now."

"I'm a patient man, I'll wait. Why don't we just go sit outside his place."

"What do you want with him?"

"I just want to pay him back. He took something from me." Emma watched him in the mirror, his eyes flashing with anger. "I want to repay the favor."

"I'm sure he'd just give it back, if he knew what it was." She tried to reason.

"Ah but that's not possible. You can't bring back a life that's taken from you." Emma remembered the man that Killian had killed at the scene of the crime. One of Neal's men. "Drive, Emma." His tone came with an air of authority and Emma turned on the ignition, unsure of where she should take him, but knowing the longer she sat outside their home, the greater the chance that Killian would return home, and Neal would see him.

So, she drove to the other end of town, somewhere she knew that Killian would not be found. And they sat on the street of a darkened neighborhood, waiting for a man that would never come.

"I told you, he's not home."

He growled from the back. "I'll wait as long as I need to until I see his blood spilled."

"Take me." She said suddenly. "I was there that day too. You don't need him. Just kill me." Her throat was dry, tears were springing to her eyes.

"Interesting." He leaned up into her seat. His breath hot against her neck. "You'd sacrifice yourself for your partner?" He laughed and it made her heart stop. "Yes, this might work just fine. But I don't think I'll kill you just yet. I have more interesting things for you to do." He pushed the gun into her neck again. "Drive, I'll tell you where to go."

She drove for an hour to the outskirts of town, no wonder they never caught Neal. They were looking inside the town limits; the FBI had told them he would stay close to the action. She felt her anxiety peak as they pulled up to a run-down shack on a dead-end street and she realized she was truly alone. She felt the gun against her temple as he instructed her to exit the vehicle.

He led her into a dirty house, the smell was almost nauseating when it reached her nose.

"Take off the coat." He ordered and she slid the leather jacket off her arms, cradling it in her hands as she thought of Killian, wherever he was.

He yanked the leather from her, tossing it to the ground before she felt the hard steel of the pistol connect with the side of her head, her body thudding on top of the jacket that laid there. "You and I are going to have some fun first, and then we're going to talk about our future."

She kicked and screamed, praying that someone would find her, but no one was there. She was completely alone, and she was going to die here. His greedy hands took purchase in her hair, yanking her head backwards, the flesh of his penis slithering across her lips. She tried to fight him; his legs holding her arms in place as he forced his way into her mouth, a blow landing to her cheek when she squeezed her eyes shut. "You can't shut this out, not me baby. It's you and me now." He taunted her as he thrust violently into her mouth, gagging her from the pressure.

She felt her body shutting down, putting herself into a haze as he ripped at her clothing, leaving her naked and exposed to him. He grunted above her, the pain of his hands searing bruises into her skin with each violent thrust. She could feel the leather of Killian's jacket at her back, the only thing keeping her from losing her sanity and she wrapped herself in the warmth of his memory.

When it was all over, he wrapped her in the jacket and she huddled against the wall, tears streaming down her face while he told her about her new future. She would have rather he killed her.

"And then, when you've turned your back on everything you've ever held dear, you're gonna kill him." He sneered in her face. "You're going to kill Detective Jones."

Present day

Killian woke as Rogers became restless on the bed, a low growl coming the dog. He reached instinctively for his gun and pulled the covers aside. There was a low whimper coming from the other room. "Stay here boy."

He pried open the door quietly, his gun drawn in front of him as he checked both sides of the hall. He tiptoed down the hallway until he reached the living room. The lamp illuminating the room in color. The couch was empty, the cushions were missing, the blankets in disarray.

"Henry?" He called into the silence.

He heard a noise, turned toward it with his gun and paused. In the corner of the room, his couch cushions were piled around his dining room chairs. He saw a slight movement from the center and then sniffles.

"Henry, lad, are you alright?" He holstered his gun, walking toward the makeshift bunker the boy had built in his living room. Lifting a corner of one of the blankets, he spotted the boy, huddled in the middle of the fort, his arms wrapped around himself, tears sliding down his cheeks.

"I'm gonna come in, if that's alright." He said softly, pushing aside one of the chairs so he could crawl in next to the boy. He leaned his back against the wall, sitting silently as the boy cried beside him. He wasn't sure what to do, so he just put an arm around him and pulled him closer to his side. "It's ok to miss your mom. I miss her too." He whispered honestly.

He let the boy cry softly until he went silent, and Killian chanced a glance at the boy who was curled up in his lap sleeping. He sighed, leaning his head against the wall.

His hand came to rest on the boy's head, pushing his hair away from his face as he slept. He looked so much like Emma. He had not had a moment to really think about how he was feeling after seeing Emma again. He felt so much anger toward her, yet his heart was at war with his brain. As angry as he was, it had taken everything in him not to pull the woman into his arms. He had longed to hold her so often since she left town that night.

Sitting here with her boy in his lap, he mourned for the life they never got to have. Seeing the boy snuggled so peacefully in his lap, he wished for a different reality. One where he was camping in the living room with their son, Emma making grilled cheese sandwiches for them to enjoy for dinner. His body betrayed him when the first tear left his eye, blurring his vision. He squeezed them shut, pinching a hand against his closed lids. He didn't have time for reflection, he had a case to solve.

The boy stirred in his lap, his eyes opening, frantic as he tried to get his bearings. "It's ok, lad. You fell asleep."

He looked up at him and then sat up in his place. "Sorry, I'm not used to sleeping without my mom."

"Was the couch not comfortable?"

"No, it was fine. It was more comfortable than what we have at home honestly."

"Oh?"

"Mom and I sleep on a mattress in the basement usually. Dad said we can't have windows in our room."

Killian's alarm bells started screaming in his head again. Even if Neal was an asshole, you don't keep your kid in a room with his mom, purposely denying them a room with windows, unless you are trying to keep them in.

"Your mom doesn't stay with your dad at night?" The boy squirmed uncomfortably beside him and Killian thought better of his question. "It's ok Henry, you should get some sleep."

"Can we go to the store tomorrow after we go to the park?"

"Sure, are you in need of something?"

"Um yeah, but it's a particular something I have to get, they only have it at this one store. Can we go there?"

"Sure thing, lad." He wondered on the unusual and cryptic request, but his gut told him to allow the request, so he did. He stretched his back and groaned. "Well, I don't know about you, but this is not very comfortable. Would you like to come join Rogers and I?"

"You'd….you'd let me stay in your room?"

"Aye." He stared up at him, his giant orbs shining in the dim light. Once again, all he could see was the boy's mother, and he knew that he would do anything to protect her child.

"Can we leave a light on?"

"Sure thing kid."

He moved the chair and lifted the corner of the blanket on top of the fortress, leading the way back to his room. Rogers sat up on the bed, his tail wagging when he saw the boy behind him. "See, he's happy to see you too."

Henry curled up next to the dog and Rogers snuggled into his side like he'd known him his entire life. Perhaps the old dog sensed his mother in him too. He climbed into his side of the bed, looking over as the boy patted his dog on the head. "I can see why my mom liked him." He laughed. "He's a good boy."

"That he is, Henry."

He folded his arms behind his head, looking up at the ceiling. Henry turned toward him, the dog wedged between their legs and closed his eyes. It didn't take long before his breathing slowed, and Killian knew he had fallen asleep. It wasn't until the boy was sleeping peacefully that he allowed his own lids to close and for sleep to find him.