Apologies again for the last chapter, uh, I didn't expect people to feel sad and depressed about it. It's the first time something I wrote got taken in a way I didn't expect?

Anyway, uh, sorry. Again. As an apology, here's 3k of an adorable Bakugou. Plus, new characters!

Chapter 5: getting advice from shitty mortals

Katsuki glared at the screen.

There was this black vertical line that he swore was fucking mocking him with every blink.

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Fuck, he wanted to blow up the fucker so bad. But mortals apparently got too bright that even he couldn't explode it to the moon.

(Yes, he tried. Yes, he had to get another one after melting it. No, the blinking line was still there)

This had to be one of the most stupid things he's ever done in his life. And that's coming from someone who's thousands of years old.

He blames shitty Raccoon Eyes.

"Oi, extra. I got a fucking question."

Mina hummed, not even looking up from the magazine on her lap to know who it was that dropped by.

"Nice to see you too, honey."

She flipped another page, snapping her fingers with her free hand. At once, the previous dark landscape of lava and screaming bodies morphed into a modern apartment with floor-to-ceiling windows that mimicked bright blue skies and the sight of skyscrapers.

Katsuki didn't even blink at the change, already rummaging through the conjured fridge for one of those wasabi-flavored energy drinks that mortals invented a couple years ago.

If there's one thing that the fire god liked (tolerated, really) about humans, it was their creativity.

Just the other day, he laughed his ass off at the 'spicy noodle challenge' the idiots subjected their tastebuds to. The fire god made sure to give extra blessings to those that managed to scarf down more than 3 packets.

He had to thank them for making Shitty Hair and Duck Tape writhe on the floor after a couple bites, after all.

Mina lounged on the carpeted floor, pink-toned legs crossed over the other, with the magazine– the words 'L-Zone' splattered on the cover– resting on her skirt. Unlike the other demons and gods, the corrosion demon preferred to dress according to 'the times.'

Which explains her get-up in a black crop top, metallic purple skater skirt, and sheer black thigh high stockings, the ensemble topped off by a metallic green choker. A mix of black, green, and red markings and brands peeked from the exposed expanses of skin, snaking across the demon's body– demonic letters jumping from her collarbone to her wrist and shoulder blades.

"So."

"So?" Manicured neon nails flipped another page.

When she didn't hear Katsuki answer, she finally looked up. The fire god was scowling deeply, mouth pressed into a thin line.

"Bakubaby, why do you look constipated?"

"Fuck you, acid-muncher."

She rolled her eyes and threw the magazine aside, which promptly burnt and turned into ash upon landing on the floor. Elbows propped on the coffee table, she cocked her head to the side, horns peeking from her bubblegum hair.

"No thanks, you're not my type."

Katsuki glared, and Mina grinned back, her gold eyes sparkling. She always loved teasing the demon-god, not cowering like other demons who feared for their souls.

"Well, Bakugou? I thought you got a question for me?"

The blonde murmured something under his breath. She cupped her ear, leaning across the table.

"Hmm? What was that?"

"..you...to someone..."

Mina sighed exasperatedly, "Bakugou, just spit it out already! Geez!"

"I SAID HOW DO YOU APOLOGIZE TO SOMEONE, ALIEN BITCH!" Katsuki growled, slamming the crushed can on the table. If it had been an ordinary table, it would've split in half– the floor included. At most, though, the action rocked it but didn't do much.

Mina gaped for a few seconds, then squealed, launching herself across the table, face up close to Katsuki's.

"Oh my gosh! Okay baby, spill! Who is it? Have I met them? When did you two meet? What are you sorry for, and oh!" The demon grinned, showing a hint of fangs. "Are they hot?"

Katsuki shoved her face back, growling. "Fucking hell, Raccoon Eyes? I ain't answering shit!"

He aggressively opened another can– sriracha flavor this time– but Mina wasn't fooled. She could see the blush lightly coloring the fire god's cheeks.

Ohoho, she was sooo going to tell Jirou and Ochako about this at their next call. She was getting tired of gossiping about the humans that went to hell.

"But–"

"Just answer the fucking question, dammit."

The two demons (well, half of them) had a staring match, crimson red against gold.

Eventually, Mina groaned and flopped back on the floor, with her back against the couch.

"Fine," Katsuki grinned.

"But I need to know what you're sorry for or else I can't help you at all, Bakubaby."

His grin of victory dropped back into a scowl. He sported that constipated look again, and Mina was tempted to offer him some of the laxatives she'd use to torture damned souls.

(But she controlled herself, and she's proud of that)

"There's this idiot," Katsuki was still scowling and burning holes (literally) through his drink. But Mina had to muffle the squeal that jumped from her throat when she saw the soft look in the fire god's eyes.

"He's annoying as fuck and doesn't shut up for a goddamn second. And I'm not exaggerating, he literally doesn't stop talking until someone shuts him up."

Mina files away the information that the mystery being was a 'he' in her mental drawer labeled 'stuff to gossip about.'

"Plus he has a sharp as fuck tongue, like, with every insult I give him he gives one back– even I'm impressed! Me! The king of making demons into a blubbering mess."

"Uh, Bakugou, what does this have to do with–"

"I'm getting to that, you chewed up wad of gum," Katsuki grumbled, fiddling with the crushed, melted can. His fingers made origami out of the metal like it was paper.

He bit his lip, guilt flashing across his face. Mina wasn't able to stop her jaw from dropping at the sight of it.

(Once again, she's proud to say she didn't pinch herself)

"I, uh, there was this, ugh– fuck!"

Mina smoothly moved to the right just as the metal rose origami whistled past her head. Like the magazine, it sizzled and melted into a puddle on the floor.

The fire god exhaled, his nostrils flaring. He clenched and unclenched his hands, tiny sparks coming and going.

Then Katsuki slumps against the wall behind him, and if Mina didn't value her life (which she did very much), she would've blurted out that the fire god looked like a kicked puppy.

"There was this.. thing that happened and I said some.. things and he got pissed off, then I got pissed off and..."

He mumbled the rest.

"And?"

Katsuki rubs his face. "Kind of, tried to... kill him?"

"Oh sweetie."

He snorts and drags his hand through his hair, his bracelets clinking against each other.

"Yeah. So.. what now?"

"Uh..."

The fire god glares at the demon, who raised her hands placatingly.

"Well? How do I fucking apologize to the piece of shit, Raccoon Eyes?"

"Well," She taps her fingers against her lips, a pensive look on her face. "First, you should probably stop insulting him and calling him 'a piece of shit'."

Katsuki grunts.

"Then, hmm..."

Her nose scrunched up, making the demon sport a constipated look this time. Well, in her defense, anyone would get constipated when thinking of advice for Bakugou Katsuki.

When nothing comes to mind, she starts resigning herself to the fact that this is how she'll die– by not being able to give love advice to the fire demon-god.

Then, it hit her.

"Oh, oh, oh! Bakugou, sweetpea! I know the solution to your problem!" She leans on the table again, its legs wobbling. "It's the perfect little thing!"

Crimson eyes narrowed suspiciously at her.

"...What is it?"

Ashido Mina grinned, her golden eyes twinkling mischievously amidst a sea of black.

"Let me introduce you to this thing called Keddit..."

I pissed a guy off, and he told me he's cool with it, but I call bullshit, and maybe I should just go over and punch him in the face right now–

"Fuck." Katsuki swears, frantically erasing the post, leaving him with what he started with 4 hours ago:

An empty white little box with that blinking vertical fucker.

He inhales and exhales loudly through his nostrils before typing again; sharp nails receded. This was the 5th phone he swiped from one of those high-end stores, after all.

I asked my coworker for advice about this guy I had a fight with, and she led me here. The guy and I have an understanding now, and he told me shit's fine, but I'm calling bullcrap.

Okay, looking good so far.

So how the hell should I apologize so that his face and stupidly beautiful green eyes filled with betrayal would stop ruining my fucking beauty sleep–

"Son of a bitch."

Katsuki glares at the offending device in his hand, fingers twitching to reduce it into a melting mess until the screen flickered and died.

Then he'd find out if phones had souls so he could drag this one to hell.

But the effort of stealing another phone trashed that plan, so he just chucked it to the far end of the room, grinning at the loud thunk.

"Damn, Katsuki-chan, what did that phone do to you?"

"Shut up, Dunce Face. What the fuck are you even hanging around here for? And stop calling me that, asshole."

The nickname sounded way too similar to the one used by a certain rain god, and fuck would Katsuki let anyone else call him that endearment.

Only Deku can call me that.

Kaminari pouted from his position on the floor– really, what was with his friends (extras) and the floor?

One of the most annoying gods in existence was playing with one of today's offerings– an old cassette tape player with a mixtape of Katsuki's favorite retro rock songs.

He had no fucking idea how the shitty mortals found out about his music taste. Still, whatever, an offering was an offering.

Katsuki slaps the pocky from the lightning god's mouth, snatching away the opened box. "Bitch, you don't get my fucking pocky."

"Dude, you don't let me get anything."

The fire god's deadpan look just said: Yeah, bitch, so?

Kaminari sulked, his golden eyes flecked with black spots downturning into a (failed) puppy look. He was drab in an obnoxiously (for Katsuki, anyway) bright yukata, the golden color matching his hair. A pair of seastone jewel earrings hung on his ears, the bright teal color mirroring his eyeshadow. Black lightning struck sporadically on the hem and sleeves, his neck adorned with black and white beads.

Katsuki kicked the lightning god, who rolled out of the way, straight towards–

"Ohoho, Katsuki-chan! Didn't know you had Keddit!"

Oh shit.

"Dammit, Sparky, I swear if you don't give that back right this fucking second–"

"Aww, who'd you wanna apologize to, man?"

Katsuki growled and snapped his fingers. Ropes of fire shot from the floor, binding Kaminari in a blink. A separate strand deftly plucks the device from sparking hands, throwing it to the fire god.

"Duuuude, come on! No need to be embarrassed!" The other blonde wriggled on the floor, trying and failing to get free.

"Have fun making out with the floor, Pikachu." Katsuki turned to leave, wanting some goddamn peace and quiet so he could finish the stupid post–

"No, don't leave me! Katsuki-chan, I can help you, you know?"

The fire god stopped in his tracks.

Grinning, Kaminari managed to wriggle himself into an awkward sitting position, his limbs contorted unnaturally.

"You're having a hard time, aren't you? You've literally been typing and glaring at your phone since I arrived, dude. And that was 6 hours ago."

Katsuki grumbled, leaning against the doorway.

"So what if I am, ha?"

The fire god hated admitting that he wasn't good at something– because he was good at everything. He would've rather been born as a cockroach than go to Kaminari Denki, out of all the shitty extras he knew, for advice.

But the weird device mortals made was new territory, and Katsuki was losing sleep over seeing green eyes shining with betrayal and hurt whenever he closed his eyes.

Kaminari grinned, "Then hand it over, man! You're looking at the one and only Chargebolt who's bagged 13 awards and 5k upvotes in one post."

"...I have no idea what any of those words mean."

"Exactly why you need help, Katsuki-chan!"

Of course, the lightning god doesn't mention that said post was filled with memes about cats fighting birds. Psh, the fire god didn't need to know that.

Katsuki shifted on his feet, arms tensing at his side uselessly as he had an internal battle of wills.

On the outside, he just looked like a pigeon took a shit in his hair. Which, annoyingly, had happened more times than he could bother to count.

Ultimately (begrudgingly), the fire god conceded and chucked the offending device at the other blonde, fingers snapping to disperse the fire bindings.

It was petty but fucking worth it to see Dunce Face nurse a bruising nose where the phone hit him.

While the idiot typed like a madman on the stupid thing, Katsuki snatched the abandoned cassette player on the floor and a pair of earphones. The fire god sat down facing the small garden and leaned against the divider, eyes fluttering close at the first beats of music.

Katsuki may call Kaminari Denki a useless piece of shit, but he trusted (sadly) the lightning god to watch his back in these moments of vulnerability.

After all, it was Kaminari who took over the position that was supposed to be his in Tokyo.

Scratch that, Katsuki hated the lightning idiot.

"I hope you rot in hell, fucking Dunce Face."

"Gods don't go to hell, though."

Katsuki gives him a pointed stare.

"Uh... please don't throw me to hell? Pretty please, Katsuki-chan?"

"Just for calling me that, I'm giving you to Aizawa, bitch."

Katsuki ignored Kaminari's pleas, crimson eyes looking back at his phone that constantly buzzed with notifications.

It turns out the idiot's online presence was a big thing (who the fuck knew) and having a post endorsed by 'Chargebolt' resulted in replies ranging 1k and increasing.

Wow, these humans needed a life.

"Just read the replies, Katsuki-chan."

"Fuck you."

Kaminari groaned exasperatedly. "Dude! What's the point of even going on Keddit if you're not going to read anything?"

Then, like the suicidal dumbass that he is, the lightning god clapped his hands together.

"Ohh! Are you scared?"

Silence.

Then–

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! I AIN'T SCARED OF ANY SHITTY MORTALS!"

With a growl, Katsuki swiped the screen open, the force of the action spreading a couple cracks. Crimson eyes remained glued to the screen, choosing not to notice the split-eating grin on the other blonde.

He scrolled (yeah bitch, he was picking up on the lingo) and stopped at one.

Micalltheway: heeey, you should shower him with gifts! In my experience, chocolates are the go-to (unless he's allergic). Roses are lit too! Good luck!

Chocolates and roses? Ugh, that was two of Katsuki's most hated things. But then again, that might just mean it was Izuku's favorite.

He scrolled some more, downvoting some replies that called him 'whipped.' He had no fucking idea what that meant, but the laughing emojis that followed probably didn't mean anything good.

Mindfuck: this your boyfriend, yeah? Take him out on a date, do the things he wants to do, pamper him with meals and gifts. That always does the trick with mine.

Then Mindfuck gave another reply to their post.

Mindfuck: oh, and you know... the best apology is the one where you show you're really sorry. Gifts are good, but words are better.

"Ohh, that's actually good advice, dude."

On instinct, Katsuki elbowed Kaminari in the stomach. The lightning god groaned but remained at the fire god's back, reading over his shoulder.

Katsuki scowled, but he continued scrolling through the thread (mortals were weird for calling it that), anticipation fluttering in his stomach.

At the thought of the stupidly cute rain god blushing, with his arms full of chocolates (ugh) and roses, Katsuki grinned.

The nerd wouldn't know what was coming.

Asui Tsuyu had been the assistant and attendant for the Midoriya shrine since she took up the mantle after her mother stepped down and followed after Hisashi.

It wasn't hard serving Midoriya Izuku since he wasn't like other gods and deities who were aloof and placed themselves on pedestals.

Izuku was adorable and reminded her of those cinnamon rolls that mortals sold in their shops.

And she knew that Green Valley doted on their god, with the mass amounts of shrine offerings that would come weekly (sometimes even daily).

"Wow."

But this was on a whole other level.

The shapeshifter mermaid stood before the massive pile of gifts, roses, and chocolates. She just stood there for a couple minutes until her dripping form soaked a couple of the gifts at the bottom.

I wonder what Midochan would think of this.

"Um... Tsuyu, what.."

Ah, speak of the god.

Tsuyu turned to see a confused and shocked Izuku, the sleeves of his yukata dripping slightly.

"Were you feeding the koi without rolling up your sleeves again, Izuku-sama?"

Izuku blushed and whistled, looking off to the side. She saw the slight twitch in his fingers that dried his sleeves in a flash.

"Wh-what? No! I remembered this time!"

He winced at the disbelieving stare of the demon, green eyes flitting back to the pile of– something?

"What.. what is this?"

Tsuyu shrugged, the sun's rays reflecting off her emerald scales, a mimic of the rain god's eyes. She was drab in a dark green kimono, the color matching the long tresses of her hair, the colors mirroring the ocean floor's depths. Her bright red hakama tied below the bust line contrasted with the ensemble, lotus flowers weaved into her hair.

"It appeared out of nowhere, Izuku-sama. But it doesn't seem like it was sent by the humans," Her fingers approached to touch one of the packages, flinching away when the webs of divine energy rejected her.

Izuku stepped closer, hands easily picking up one of the gifts at the top. Tsuyu must've imagined it, but the divine energy looked to be purring at the rain god's touch.

"Oh! It's from Kacchan!"

Izuku smiled, and Tsuyu had to look away. Her god's smiles were too bright sometimes (who was she kidding, it was all the time).

But when it came to a particularly violent and loud fire god, that smile would be a dial brighter, his eyes crinkling more, the corner of his lips spreading a bit wider.

They spent the rest of the day unpacking the gifts, Tsuyu doing nothing more than sweeping away the wrappings as she couldn't touch anything.

Surprisingly, there were a lot of mortal things mixed in; an action figure of a famous comic character that Izuku gushed over, a poster of the rain god's favorite film– even a little keychain of katsudon.

Of course, there were items not from the mortal realm as well.

"Oh my god," Izuku gasped, his fingers carefully skimming the gleaming jewel of the necklace.

At first sight, it was an emerald– one of the many jewels that mortals unearthed. But Izuku was not blind to recognize it as what it was– it was a Zennyo Ryuou's eye.

Those dragons lived for millennia for a reason– they were extremely tough to kill by humans or gods alike. So having its eye in his lap, crafted carefully into an inset of moon silver, Izuku couldn't help but marvel at it.

Carefully setting down the box, a peach-colored parchment fluttered onto his lap.

Izuku didn't know why his stomach fluttered when he recognized Katsuki's energy on it, but the feeling wasn't bad.

Just weird.

A good weird.

Hey nerd.

Tsuyu looked at him weirdly when he giggled, a strange warmth filling his chest. It's been weeks since they saw each other, and the greeting was like a breath of fresh air.

After the disaster, they've begun popping up at each other's shrines more often. Sometimes it was because Izuku wanted to gush to Katsuki about a prayer he received. Sometimes the fire god just slammed the shrine doors open and slept beside the greennette.

Those little visits made his day, if Izuku was being honest.

I don't write letters much so I'm going to make this short and sweet. If you see some dark splatters, that's Sparky's blood. That's what he gets for trying to sneak a fucking peak.

"Oh, Kacchan.." Izuku sighed exasperatedly, a soft smile still on his face when he spotted the tiny splatters at the edge of the paper.

When his eyes read over the following passages, he stopped breathing. His hands shook, and the rain god was assaulted by a sudden burning in his eyes and the tightening of his chest.

I'm sorry.

I know you told me it's fine and everything's okay, but goddammit, you shitty nerd, stop it. Stop saying everything's okay when I clearly fucking hurt you. I know your mortals mean more to you than your life, and I pissed on that conviction.

So let me apologize, fuck. Let me say I'm sorry. Let me drown you with gifts and shit. Let me be the outlet for your frustration and anger that I know you keep under lock and key.

I'm sorry, Deku.

"Mido-chan?"

Concerned black eyes looked at the rain god clutching at the small piece of parchment against his chest, his head bowed.

Izuku looked up, emerald green eyes shining with tears. Despite the flush in his cheeks and the redness of his nose, there was a wobbly smile on his face.

He felt like a weight was lifted from his shoulders, the dark circles under his eyes and lines across his forehead disappearing with the wind, washed away by the rain.

Izuku looked down on the parchment, on the dark characters written with careful strokes, on the light caress of Katsuki's energy seeping through to him.

He smiled, eyes soft, tears falling and turning into jewels.

A light green parchment landed on his chest.

He handled it carefully, sharp nails receding to avoid damaging it. His hands shook, and with trepidation, he opened it.

Katsuki's breath hitched, and he slung his arm over his eyes, shielding the slips of tears from stray eyes.

He couldn't help the small cry of relief and a bubble of laughter spilling from his lips.

Thank you, Kacchan.

This chapter is another one of my fictional attempts to have some bakudeku after the lack of interaction in the recent chapters of the manga.

Characters:

(1) Ashido Mina - Corrosion Demon (general of Kyoukan Jigoku; Screaming Hell)
(2) Hanta Sero - rokurokubi ろくろ首/轆轤首 (demon whose neck stretches & can pop off; attendant to Bakugou shrine)
(3) Kyoka Jiro - Music Goddess (patron of Eastern Tokyo)
(4) Kaminari Denki - Lightning & Electricity God (patron of Southern Tokyo)
(5) Aizawa Shota - Ruler of Hell & Demons
(6) Asui Tsuyu - akugyo 悪魚/悪樓 (mermaid demon; attendant to Midoriya shrine)

Vocabulary:

(1) Hakama 袴 - pleated skirt-like trousers worn over a kimono; if yall watch Inuyasha, this is what Kikyo wears
(2) Zennyo Ryuou 善如龍王/善女龍王 - a rain-god dragon

I'm on Twitter (_empressvika) and Tumblr (empressvika) yall. Hmu.