They had spent the night at each other's apartment before. Making do with a spare bed or a couch. Hange liked to show up unannounced at his doorstep from time to time. It was not unusual for her to plop down on his couch and declare she would stay the night. Levi would roll his eyes at her and set out grumbling under his breath to look for an extra blanket. And even back then, during their days in the Survey Corps, they had to share a room on occasion or an old mattress in a hideout, or they had to huddle together in soaked clothes perched on a tree branch. But- this is different - this is something new and unknown to both of them.
Although, at the same time, in a way, it's maybe not all that much different.
000
"Levi."
"Hm?" Levi stares at the landscape passing by, the low hum of the car in his ears, cheek propped up in one hand, the cooling breeze tousling his hair. Their surroundings are dark, save for the occasional streetlight and the bright stars high above them. There are not many other cars on the road.
Hange taps on the steering wheel with one hand in no particular rhythm. "What are you thinking about?"
"Hm, nothing."
She hums. "That is not much."
Levi shrugs. He doesn't turn to face her and instead stares at the ghostly moon coming into their view.
Hange glances at him briefly. "Is your knee bothering you badly?"
He opens his mouth.
"You want to stay at my place tonight?"
000
The sheets are crisp against his sunkissed skin, the dim glow of his room pleasant to his throbbing eye. Levi squints at the clean rims of his nails. He's waiting for Hange to return from her trip to the bathroom.
"You were taking your sweet time," he grumbles when she appears in the doorway, donning a long, white nightshirt, hair dangling loosely around her face. He glares up at her. "Took a shit or something?" She shrugs. "Well, do you want the details?" he wrinkles his nose, and with that, Hange slides under the sheets next to him. He feels his heart lurch for a moment. Levi moves a bit to the side to give her enough space.
They lay in silence for a while, stiff and shoulders barely touching. Suddenly Hange rolls over onto her side and shoots closer to him. "Hey." Her breath tickles his cheek, and with her sudden closeness, his heart rate quickens.
"What- Ow-" An embarrassing yelp leaves his mouth.
Hange props herself up a little, frowning. "What? What's wrong?"
Levi scowls up at her. "Your feet are like fucking blocks of ice." He grumbles.
"Oh." She blinks. "Sorry." A sheepish smile makes its own onto her face, and she tucks a lock of hair behind her ear.
"Mhm, yeah, you better be. Now come here." He draws her a little closer, and she lets him and shifts so she can lean her head against his chest.
It's comfortable, lying like this, their shared body heat warming him pleasantly, Hange's slow breathing close to him lulling his thoughts. Levi had been trying to sleep in a bed more often since starting his new life here - finally using a damn bed as any reasonable person would do. It didn't always work. Sometimes he still went back to sleeping in his chair. Or he didn't sleep at all.
But maybe like this, he thinks, forcing back a yawn, perhaps like this, he can get some sleep peacefully.
It doesn't work, though, for he has one of the worst nightmares in a while.
000
He wakes with a startle, a yell on his lips, sweat soaking his back, and his heart hammering in his ears. The sleep-fuelled images from moments ago flicker before his eyes.
It all merges; the reddish radiance from the setting sun and the reddish splatter from torn flesh and shattered bones and lifeless eyes. Along with the echoing screams and begging from the ones he couldn't save - everyone he failed- He-
A hand on his shoulder startles him out of his racing thoughts. Hange. Of course, he remembers now. There's someone else beside him this night - something else than his shitty self-loathing and anxieties and anger.
His heart is still hammering, and it feels like it's going to burst out of his chest, his ears ringing. Suddenly sour saliva fills his mouth, and then something inside his chest ruptures. The hitched breath that follows that's too close to a sob takes them both off guard.
Shit. Fuck. Shit.
Levi rolls away abruptly, his back to Hange, who is still hovering over him, and he jams his knuckles into his mouth and bites down so hard he draws blood. He doesn't feel the sting, however.
"Levi." Another hand touches him, and delicate fingers meet his back.
"Shut up, Hange. Shut the fuck up. Don't fucking talk." He grits out between clenched teeth and raw knuckles.
An instant, only filled by the thundering of his heart and the sharp ache in his chest.
"Okay."
He lays there in the silence of the night, save for his too harsh breathing. And Levi attempts to focus solely on that; the air rushing in and out of his hurting lungs, lays there motionless until he can pull in enough oxygen again - takes deep and measured breaths until he thinks he's going to be sick with it. When he eventually turns to face Hange, he's met with her worried expression, shaded by the dim bedside lamplight.
"Sorry," he mutters, slowly sitting up, feeling the heat of shame crawl up his neck and into his face.
Hange shakes her head. "Don't be." She chews her lip. "Do you want to talk about it?"
He looks off to the side, gaze shifting toward a shadowy corner of the room. "No." He decides shortly. But they will talk later. Hange will gently prod at him until he spills it. She always had been able to do that, getting him to spill his thoughts and feelings, understanding his cryptic words.
Hange nods. "Okay." She shifts and pulls the covers away. "I'll get you some water."
His fingers are still a bit jittery around the glass when she delivers it to him, and he tries to ignore the sensation of the bandage on his knuckles Hange brought back too. The water is cold and refreshing, though, and it helps him a little to clear his mind. Hange sits silently beside him on the bed as he sips at the water and tries his best to block out the images of his nightmare. Levi studies her out of the corner of the eye. Her hair is tousled, and her nightshirt rumpled. Not anything unusual. His mind wanders back to the memory of her standing knee-deep in the ocean, brown locks framing her face, azure skirt fluttering in the light breeze, and in the backdrop, the radiance of the setting sun.
He inhales sharply. And before he can even really think about it, he opens his mouth.
"You look good in a skirt." As soon the words leave his mouth Levi regrets them, his sudden urge to slam his head against the headboard almost too strong to resist. What the actual fuck is wrong with him? Maybe their shared kiss has crossed a wire or two in his brain. But the smile that answers him when he looks up lets him forget his regret quickly.
Hange raises a brow. "You think so?"
It's not all that visible in the faint light of the room, but Levi thinks he can see a slight blush rising to her cheeks.
He swallows, throat dry. "Yeah."
Hange lets out a giggle.
"What?" He snaps.
"It's not like you to give a compliment so easily, you know."
He feels the heat rise to his face, and he internally curses at himself and the woman next to him. "Last week, I said something nice about the dinner you made."
"If I recall correctly, you told me that it at least didn't taste like I was trying to kill you."
"That's basically the same."
"It's not."
Hm, well, maybe not the same. But Levi doesn't really have a way with words as other people do - especially when it comes to Hange's surprisingly poor kitchen skills. The blackened pans and his headaches are attesting to that.
He huffs out a breath. "Your cooking still needs improving."
"Hm, well, but you can show me, right." Hange suddenly moves closer. She plucks his now empty glass from his hands and sets it on the small bedside table. She peers at him, a tiny smile playing on her lips, and Levi stares back at her, body motionless and expression impassive. Then Hange ducks and places a light kiss on his mouth. The sudden touch emits an electrifying shiver over his spine, and he stiffens for a second, but then his body eases, and he leans into her. When they pull apart, his fingers find the delicate skin under her damaged eye, fingertips skimming over the scar there. Hange closes her eyes and breathes out, leaning slightly into his touch.
"Does it still hurt?" he asks, voice low.
"Only sometimes," she murmurs. "But it's not that bad."
They stay that way for a minute before he draws away, dropping his hand to his side.
"You want to try to sleep a bit more?" Hange asks after she finds his gaze again.
"I- yeah." He sighs, shoulders slumping, and he drives a hand through his tousled hair. "We should try to get some more sleep, huh." Since starting his new life here, he's been attempting to fix his sleeping pattern. His body craves more sleep now. He requires much more rest now than the one or two hours that were standard back in the Survey Corps. Although, with his reoccurring bouts of insomnia and the occasional nightmare, it's not that easy.
But nothing is ever easy, anyway.
He lays down while Hange dims the light, and then she follows suit. They stare at each other for a few moments in the darkness of the night, breathing slow and measured. After a second of hesitation, he takes her arm and wordlessly tugs her closer, and Hange allows him to do so. She nestles against him, her body slowly relaxing against his own. It feels warm and cozy - not smothering or cramped. And like that, he falls asleep once more, lulled by the quiet breathing of Hange next to him. And this time, the nightmares stay away.