Drat.
Iolite was caught in Mirkwood's dungeons with the company of Thorin Oakenshield - her company, she thought, as she stubbornly claimed them all as her own - and it seemed nobody was getting anywhere to get out. And on top of all that, their burglar was missing!
Of course, it was possible that he was somewhere in Mirkwood and looking for their escape, but really, what were the chances of that? It was more than likely that the hobbit was caught as well, and so Iolite took it upon herself to come up with a plan to get everybody out.
One that did not give Thorin a speaking part whatsoever.
Alright, guess it's time to put your womanly wiles to work. You can do this, Iolite. Easy-peasy.
The plan was simple: befriend an elf (preferably the one with the keys to the cells), flirt with them like there was no tomorrow (because very likely there wouldn't be any for them if she failed), and hopefully seduce them into either giving her the keys or just releasing the dwarves themselves.
Simple.
Or, if that failed, find something useful to blackmail them with. Iolite was bound and determined, and resolved herself to flirting with the next male elf to come by.
Suddenly, she heard footsteps down the hall and strained her eyes to see which one it was, sighing in relief when she saw it was the blonde haired leader from the encounter with the spiders.
Bingo.
Dusting herself off and wiping the extra spiderwebs from her tunic, Iolite set her plan into motion.
"Excuse me, but I can't help but wonder.. what is your name?" Iolite started off with something simple, cringing at how desperate she'd become to have to resort to this.
"I am Legolas, son of King Thranduil."
Ahh. So dear old princey is the guard, eh? Well this should be interesting.
"A pleasure to meet you, my good sir. It is an honor."
"I don't believe I can say the same of myself, dwarf."
"Excuse you, I am not just a dwarf, but I am the Lady Iolite as well, and you would do well to treat me as such."
At this comment, Legolas simply glared at her and continued on his rounds, and she knew she needed to get his attention again.
"Excuse me! Sir! Wait, I must speak with you!" Legolas turned around and levelled her with a cool glare.
"And what else would the Lady Iolite have to say to me?"
"I'm sorry for keeping you from your duties, but I must tell you." Legolas raised a brow, impatient for her to continue. Iolite took a deep breath, hoping her facial expression did not betray just how disgusted she was by her next phrase. "You… you must be my One, for you're the only one I see."
Oh if only that dragon could come swallow me up right now.
Legolas scoffed and started walking away again, muttering under his breath about dwarves and their disgusting ways. Iolite noticed a few of the dwarves looking her direction from their cells, confused, but she didn't let anything deter her. She'd just have to try again later.
She didn't notice Bofur looking across at her sadly.
A few days later Legolas came around again and Iolite decided to try again. She scrambled up to the gate and reached out towards him as he was walking past. He stopped in front of her outstretched arm, not looking at her.
"Remove your arm from my way or I will be forced to cut it off."
"Please, Legolas. It's just that I have never been in the presence of someone so regal as you." She heard a scoff from a cell further down the line and an indignant 'hey!' from another but ignored them. "And I cannot help but think that if beauty were a competition you'd mop the floor with them. I overheard the female guard saying the Feast of Starlight was happening right now, and I couldn't help but notice that you, indeed, walk in starlight. And if love is blind, then I must be blessed, for I have been blinded by your beauty, for your hair shines more than all the gold of Erebor."
In truth, Iolite did not know, but she figured it was realistic enough for the elf to believe.
"You would do well to hold your tongue, dwarf, or I will be forced to cut it out. Believe me, it would bring me great pleasure."
"You wound me, sir. Truly, your skill with a bow is great, for you have pierced my very heart."
Legolas walked away, and Iolite heard him mutter the words "if only". Glaring at his back, she scuffed the ground, grumbling about unhelpful tree-huggers and stupid prison doors.
She was relieved to see Bilbo appear suddenly with the keys. After her encounter with the elf, Iolite had no desire to try and appeal to him again - or any other elves, for that matter - and so the relief she felt was overflowing. Of course, she was overjoyed at seeing the burglar alive and well and, well, not trapped. But mostly, she was anxious to see Bofur again.
Iolite was worried about the miner. Over the course of their unexpected stay in Mirkwood he seemed to be losing some of his cheer - what was left of it after the cursed forest, of course. She hurried to his side.
"Bofur! Are you alright?" Iolite's worried eyes gazed over him as he seemed more downtrodden than normal.
"I'm fine, Iolite. No need to worry about me, lass." His shoulders sagged and he seemed to struggle to muster up a smile.
His response concerned her, but she had no time to ponder on it as Bilbo was herding them all through the Elven Jerk's palace to their hopeful escape. Only, it appeared that they were going down lower, not out. And it seemed Iolite was not the only one to notice.
"You're supposed to be leading us out, not further in!" Bofur's dismayed voice spoke out and Iolite agreed heartily. But it seemed Bilbo had truly thought this all out, as he directed them to barrels.
Apparently, he expected them to ride them down a river.
As the freezing water splashed around Iolite and leaked into her barrel, she barely managed to keep in a hysterical laugh. At least, she was able to until those blasted elves closed the gate to trap them in and the orcs showed up, resulting in a mad battle for their very lives down the rapids. There was no stopping the flood that bubbled up through her throat as the mysterious bargeman aimed an arrow at Ori.
"Is there no end to this accursed day of doom?" Iolite could do nothing but laugh as the terror of recent events seized upon her. The other option was to cry, and she couldn't let that happen. Iolite needed to keep her wits about her, after all.
The bargeman looked at Iolite with an alarmed curiosity as her laughter didn't seem to feel the need to abate anytime soon, and tears sprang to her eyes. She dug her fingers into her scalp and Iolite realized she was beginning to panic, her breathing quickening as her wide, frantic eyes glanced around her surroundings.
"Iolite? Lass? Are you okay?" Bofur's concerned voice drew her attention to him and she started as she realized how close he was. Managing to get her breathing under control, Iolite's crazed laughter died down and she managed to give him a shaky smile.
"I'm alright, Bofur. Thank you for your concern."
As if he just realized how close he was, Bofur quickly backed away and loaded onto the boat with the others. Iolite sighed in disappointment and followed after them. The man looked at her warily as she passed him but did nothing to try to stop her. Nodding at him politely, she sat down on the far side of the barge, slightly away from the others where she began to truly think about the past week's events. She cringed as she remembered attempting to woo the elven prince.
Bah! That idiot couldn't tell beauty if it slapped him in the face.
Her thoughts strayed to the miner who had managed to worm his way into her heart. Not that it was hard. His cheer and goofy hat had immediately charmed her, and his kindness she observed over the course of the journey just cemented in place what Iolite was beginning to realize.
Bofur was her One.
Hopefully he didn't overhear my conversation with elfey boy. But even as she thought that, Iolite knew that something was wrong. After all, why would Bofur walk away from her like that after how close they two were? No, something was not right. And she was going to get to the bottom of it.
They were in Bard's house, and Iolite was finally managing to get some feeling back in her limbs. After that less-than-conventional way to enter his home, she was starting to dry off underneath the blanket handed to her. Still slightly damp, she shivered less and less.
Iolite sat off to the side, away from the others, in order to come up with some plan to talk to Bofur. He was avoiding her, she could tell, and any eye contact or conversation seemed strained and awkward.
Iolite sighed and walked to the front porch after the rest started arguing about weapons with the bargeman. She couldn't think in there; they made too much noise and were doomed to getting captured if it kept up. She put her arms on the railing, her head resting on her hands.
"Iolite." She jumped and turned - Dwalin stood right behind her. "What are you doing out here, lassie? It's not safe; somebody could see you."
Jiminy cricket! How can someone that large move so quiet?
"Oh, it's nothing Dwalin. I was only trying to clear my head, is all." He looked at her with calculating eyes before motioning to the door with his head.
"I see. Come on, inside ye get. You'll be no good to us if you get caught outside. Although," here he paused, before giving Iolite a knowing smirk, "I suppose if you did get caught I'm sure a certain miner wouldn't mind digging you out."
She blushed as she walked back inside, mumbling to herself and wondering if it was really that obvious how besotted she was for the miner.
Stepping inside, Iolite locked eyes with Bofur who stood just inside the door. He took his hat off and nervously started wringing it as he opened his mouth, attempting to come up with something to say.
"You two better sort this out, whatever it is. We're already in a bind with a fast approaching deadline. No need to make it worse with this awkward tension ye got going on." Dwalin moved past the two of them to go talk with his brother and Thorin, and Iolite sighed as she almost wished he would come back to help her talk this - whatever this was - out with Bofur. He may give her heck over it for eternity, but by golly he would have her back through every uncomfortable second of it.
Steeling her nerves, Iolite opened her mouth to start talking, to say anything, but Bofur beat her to it.
"Iolite…" He twisted his hat more, looking supremely uncomfortable. "So.. you and the elf prince, huh? What was his name?"
What?
"You mean Legolas? What about Legolas and I?"
"Well…" he sucked in a breath and let it out slowly, "I just wanted you to know that I will support you, no matter what-" what? "-and if that elf prince makes you happy, then… I wish you all the luck in the world."
"Wait, what? Bofur, what are you talking about?"
"I overheard you talking in the dungeons with the elf." At this, Iolite groaned and covered her face in her hands.
"Please, don't remind me of that disaster. I'm never going to be able to keep a shred of dignity after that fiasco." Now Bofur looked slightly confused, but kept on with his speech anyways.
"And I heard what you said to Legolas. About him being your… One." If possible, his mustache and hat drooped a bit further. And how the puzzle pieces all fit together now. "And so I just wanted you to know that if he's your One, and if he makes you happy, then I will fully support you. No matter how undeserving he is." He muttered that last bit, which she doubted she was supposed to hear.
"No, wait, Bofur - you don't understand." Iolite grabbed his arm to keep him from turning and walking away. He looked back at her sadly. Iolite sighed; oh how she wanted to make him smile again! It didn't suit him to look so down. "Bofur, the only - and I will repeat this for your sake - only reason I told him that was to try to get him to like me. Or at least to take pity on me, or something."
"But why would you tell him all of that? We could all hear it, plain as day. You told him he was your One, and then constantly flirted with him."
"Shamelessly, might I add!" Gloin called out from somewhere in the room. Iolite groaned again as she realized that of course the others would be listening in on this.
"You love him, don't you?" Bofur looked at her, the hurt evident in his eyes.
"Bofur, no! I was trying to get Legolas to give me the keys so we could get out of that cursed dungeon! You think I would actually want to be his One? I'm offended you would even think that." The relief that swept through the room from everybody listening was apparent. Bofur's eyes lit up with hope, but he still seemed subdued.
"So… then you haven't found your One yet?"
"Yes, I've found my One, Bofur." His face fell again, but he quickly mustered up a smile that didn't quite reach his mustache. "It's you, Bofur. You're my One."
Bofur blinked once, twice, his face blank.
Suddenly, he broke into the biggest grin she'd seen him wear yet.
"Are you serious, lass? I'm really your One?" Iolite nodded, a smile on her face as well. Bofur whooped before picking her up and spinning her around. When he put her down, he kissed her soundly, and she heard the rest of the company cheering. He stepped back and donned his hat again, a dopey grin on his face, and Iolite was certain her face looked the same. Bofur reached into his pocket and pulled something out. When he showed it to her, she gasped.
"Bofur, are these..?"
"Aye, lass, they are." Iolite looked at the two beads in his hand, before looking back at him with tears in her eyes. Her face felt like it was going to burst from how wide her smile was.
"It's about time!" That time it was Nori who called out.
"I completely agree, Nori." Iolite stepped up to Bofur, grabbed his face in her hands and brought it down for another kiss. "I love you, Bofur." She breathed out when she pulled back.
"I love you too, Iolite."