RIC

He had been watching her from afar for a while. He responded to negative wishes and dark thoughts. And there had been a lot of hateful thoughts and discussions about Audrey. From her colleagues, from her team, from her family, from business acquaintances. All wishing her harm in the worst possible way. He had even heard their whispers of combining cash and hiring a hitman to end her life, as she made her team that miserable. It was time for him to step in and give everyone what they wished for. Time to lure her in, time to sort this woman out once and for all.

That was his job on earth, after all. Fuel the fire.

Lockley Echo

/support your local newspaper

*check out our summer fete plans/need volunteers

Dear Ms Cunningham,

We appreciate your email asking us to post an ad in Lockley Echo noted below:

I would like to say congratulations to Abraham Cheater Chase and Strawberry Homewrecker Slut Michaels…

They are expecting a baby.

Hope you are both really in love and I hope it works out.

Love from Audrey (Abraham's long term girlfriend who he left for this tramp)

Firstly, this ad is not in the spirit of Lockley Echo. We are proud to be the beating heart of this community, bringing people together, in a loving and harmonious way and your ad does not reflect these values.

Secondly, in case you are not aware, our company statement is:

We are committed to bringing a voice to your region by investing in a passionate team of journalists who proudly serve their communities by sharing authoritative news that readers trust.

Not sure if you are aware but Mr Chase is a long-standing friend of Lockley Echo. His parents are on the board and, after a lengthy phone call with Mr Chase, we understand that you are NOT his girlfriend, therefore this is not a valid ad and we would lose our readers trust.

Please take care of yourself during this obviously troubled times. #bekind #Samaritans

Sincerely,

Emma Walters

Editor-in-Chief and Proud Lockley Resident

ABRAHAM

Abraham Chase was a vacant, pretty man, with not much character but kind to all of those around him, and who doesn't love a kind person? He had doting parents who had spoiled him from day one. They had nick-named him Hamster as a child, as he had the cutest little buckteeth and freckles and blonde hair and this name had stuck with him his whole life, although now he went by Ham. He had no qualms of introducing himself as Ham to new people and ignored their smirks and rolling eyes. He loved his name and loved his parents.

He usually found himself railroaded in life, especially by women. He couldn't resist their charms and wanted a simple life, with a strong woman in control. Audrey had seen his potential and snapped him up years ago, she wasn't stupid. And she had been right. He was the young and handsome eye-candy on her arm, plus he took care of all the boring chores, such as raising her children and renewing car insurance policies, becoming almost like her Personal Assistant.

He had been happy in the early years, wowed by her glamourous lifestyle and got caught up in long weekends to New York, fancy London galas, her Portugal villa and all the fabulous gifts she would bestow on him. Audrey, for all her faults, was always generous with her loved-ones, enjoying being able to provide.

Their sex life has dwindled after a couple of years, even the novelty of her wearing thigh-high leather boots, and a big strap-on to whack him around the face with, had worn off and Audrey had got bored (plus self-conscious with her weight gain) but he had loved her dominating him in the bedroom.

He missed those bedroom games.

Now she just dominated the rest of his life, from buying his shoes, to choosing his aftershave and insisting on him going to the gym to keep fit – ironic for two reasons. She herself wasn't fit and it led him on to the organic path of Strawberry.

He had been fed-up for the last five years, but he was content with the life-style that Audrey's pay-checks afforded and he truly loved Jade and Derek. He was the closest thing they had to a Dad. Their real father, Henry Cantrill, had been a good looking and honest man who scolded Audrey for her domineering attitude and wasn't a pushover. This didn't suit Audrey and she fazed him out of her life when the kids were little and turned them against him. Henry still tried to contact both his children and sent birthday and Christmas cards every year and chocolate eggs at Easter, but Derek and Jade had been brainwashed against him and ignored any and all correspondence from Henry. They had Ham and they both adored him.

One day, Ham found himself driving to the shops, per Audrey's demand, with a very specific typed, bullet-pointed and printed out shopping list on the passenger seat. He looked at the list whilst stopped at a traffic light and his stomach churned at the rudeness of Audrey's list. Who the hell did she think she was talking to?

PROSECCO – NOT THE CHEAP SHIT YOU BOUGHT LAST WEEK, THE GOOD STUFF WITH THE PINK LABEL

CHEESE – THE ONE THAT I LIKED WHEN WE HAD THAT DINNER PARTY LAST YEAR WHERE YOU EMBARASSED ME WITH YOUR CHEAP SHOES

LAMB JOINT – FROM THE BUTCHER PLEASE, NOT THAT OVER-THE-COUNTER CRAP AT WAITROSE

BREAD – FOR YOUR SANDWICHES, NOT WHITE THOUGH SWEETIE, NOT GOOD FOR YOU, GET ONE WITH SEEDS IN IT

SNACKS FOR JADE AND DEREK – I CAN'T REMEMBER, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THEY LIKE

THOSE JEGGINGS FROM M&S, SIZE 16 (YES, I KNOW I'M AN 18, BUT BUY THE SMALLER ONES AS THEY HOLD EVERYTHING IN). ONE IN EVERY CUTE COLOUR ONLY PLEASE, SO NO RED OR GREEN, BUT KHAKI GREEN IS OK

A SECOND PAIR OF MY PINK SUEDE SHOES THAT I WEAR WITH THAT LONG PINK AND GREEN SKIRT, SIZE 5, BUT MAKE SURE IT'S THE HIGH HEELED ONES NOT THE SHORT ONES

(ALSO RETURN THE JEANS YOU BOUGHT FOR ME LAST WEEK AS THEY ARE COMPLETELY WRONG SO PLEASE LEARN TO FOLLOW THESE INSTRUCTIONS OR YOU'LL JUST BE RETURNING THIS STUFF AGAIN NEXT WEEK!)

TAMPONS AND TOWELS – THE BIG KIND LIKE NAPPIES FOR THE OVERNIGHT HELL OF MISERY THAT I HAVE TO SUFFER THROUGH EVERY MONTH, I KNOW YOU DON'T CARE OR UNDERSTAND

'What the hell is a 'cute' colour,' he asked himself in the rear view mirror. And it was underlined, so he couldn't get that wrong or never hear the end of it. Is black considered cute, as she liked wearing that colour lately? He felt himself start to sweat.

Which dinner party? He embarrassed her all the time, what fucking cheese?!

As the traffic got moving, he felt an overwhelming urge to steer his car into the oncoming path of a lorry, with a clear desire to end his life. It took this thought to make him finally realise just how mentally miserable he was with Audrey and that he had been avoiding dealing with it. And it was the following day that Strawberry first made a beeline for Ham – perfect timing, he was prime for the picking.

It's as if the gods had intervened.

*Reader, he couldn't imagine being alone, who would look after him?

The next day, Abraham had run for half an hour on the treadmill and planned an escape route in his head. He could move back into his empty flat, still be close enough to the kids to take care of them, he had plenty of his own money, thanks to his doting parents and Audrey's generosity – he just needed to tell Audrey that he was leaving her. And the thought of that made him shudder, as he slowed his pace down to a walk, dripping with sweat, and headed over to refill his water bottle at the water fountain.

He had literally just had the thought; 'will women still find me attractive?' when he heard a beautiful sing-song voice, cutting through his thoughts.

'Do you come here often?' Ham looked down and saw the most precious blonde angel smiling up at him, with divine blue eyes and delicate features. Her hair was in a sloppy bun, and she looked adorable with rosy-pink cheeks and glistening sweat from her work-out, and a smoking hot body in a hot pink vest and black cycling shorts with a hint of bouncing cleavage. Every pore of that lovely translucent skin was alive, and his eyes reflected her glow.

He felt herculean standing next to her and felt a stirring in his groin that he hasn't felt in years. She laughed and the sound tinkled and sparkled. In fact, her whole aura seemed to shimmer in front of him (she later explained to him that her inner goddess was reacting to his masculine spirit).

*Reader – eye-roll.

'I've seen you around the gym quite a bit lately, you must be in training for something. Your body is becoming quite muscular, isn't it,' and she tinkled again, and touched his bicep, lingering for a second too long, as she licked her lips.

'I have to work out all the time, to keep the fat at bay,' and Strawberry proceeded to step on her tip-toes, and turn around slowly, revealing zero fat on her toned body and knowing just how good she looked with a tight curvy arse, flat stomach and perky small breasts.

*Oh Reader, shame on Strawberry for using her feminine wiles #lovenest #conquestno4

Ham stuttered, 'wow, no, you look amazing' as Strawberry laughed and squeezed his bicep. 'Aren't you kind? What's your name?'

'Ham. Short for Abraham.' And for the first time in his life, there was no negative reaction to his unusual name. Audrey had snorted the first time they met and said she could never use that name and would call him 'Ab' – she never had, but he had never forgotten her initial snide reaction.

'What a delightful name! I'm Strawberry, so lovely to meet you Ham.'

'I love Strawberries! They are so lush and tasty and moist,' and their eyes met and sparkled, at their mutual name appreciation society. And that was pretty much it. Love at first sight for Ham, although it took Strawberry to be knocked-up and hormonal to start loving him back.

'You make a man proud to be a man,' he would whisper to her, after their frantic love-making. And she would nod; she had heard that phrase a lot in her life.

Ham began to live the kind of life that he never thought he could be capable of. A double life of lies and betrayal, of love and sex and excitement, of constant guilt and constant infatuation. His waking thoughts were filled with Strawberry, whether he was with her or not. His constant guilt of cheating on Audrey and cheating on the children ate him alive.

*Not enough to stop him though, Reader, it must be pointed out.

The delights of the perky, young and very willing vagina were all consuming.