Chapter 4: Very old Friends

He walks up to the door and knocks it with his staff. A voice is heard from inside)

Billy:(v.o.) No thank you! We don't want any more visitors, well-wishers or distant relations!

Mentor Ji: And what about very old friends?

(The door opens and Billy stares at Mentor Ji in disbelief)

Billy: Mentor Ji?

Mentor Ji: Billy Cranston Baggins!

Billy: My dear Mentor Ji!

(They give each other a big hug)

Mentor Ji: Good to see you. One hundred and eleven years old! Who would believe it? (Mentor Ji takes a closer look at Billy) You haven't aged a day.

(Billy runs inside, beckoning Mentor ji in and holding the door open for him.)

Billy: Come on, come in! Welcome, welcome! Oh, here we are.

(He closes the door behind Mentor Ji and takes his hat and staff.)

Billy: Tea? Or maybe something a little stronger? I've got a few bottles of the Old Winyard left. 1296. Very good year. Almost as old as I am! Hahaha! It was laid down by my father. What say we open one, eh?

Mentor Ji: Just tea, thank you.

(Billy runs around the hobbit hole, Mentor Ji backs into a the chandelier, then turns and bumps his head onto the beam. He rubs his forehead and walks into Billy's study. He looks at the papers on the desk, a map of The Lonely Mountain among them. Bilbo continues to talk to him about what there is to eat.)

Billu: I was expecting you sometime last week. Not that it matters/. You come and go as you please. Always have done and always will. You caught me a bit unprepared, I'm afraid. We've got cold chicken and a bit of pickle… there's some cheese here. Oh no it won't do. We've got raspberry jam, an apple tart… But not much for afters – Oh, no, we're all right. I've just found some sponge cake. (enters the study, looking for Gandalf, who has left) I could make you some eggs if you'd like- Oh. Mentor Ji?

(Mentor Ji peers into the study from the kitchen behind Billy.)

Mentor Ji: Just tea, thank you.

Billy: Oh, right. You don't mind if I eat, do you? (stuffing some food into his mouth)

Mentor Ji:(sitting down at the table) No, not at all.

(A sharp knock is heard on the door and a woman's voice is heard)

Lobelia:(v.o.) Billy! Billy Cranston Baggins!

(Billy throws himself towards the wall, choking on his food, in a desperate attempt to hide. Then he turns to Mentor Ji, whispering)

Billy: I'm not at home!

(He tiptoes over to the window in the study, taking a peek at who is outside.)

Billy: It's the Sackville-Bagginses.

Lobelia:(v.o.) I know you're in there!

Billy: They're after the house. (turning around and quietly entering the kitchen again, still whispering)They've never forgiven me for living this long.(goes over to the little round window in the kitchen and looks out) I've got to get away from these confounded relatives hanging on the bell all day. They never give me a moment's peace! I want to see mountains again. Mountains, Mentor Ji! And then find somewhere quiet where I can finish my book. Oh, tea!

(Billy takes the tea off the fire with a towel.)

Mentor Ji: So you mean to go through with your plan, then.

Billy: Yes, yes. It's all in hand. All the arrangements are made. (Mentor Ji opens the lid on the pot) Oh, thank you.

Mentor Ji: Jayden suspects something.

Billy: Of course he does. He's a Shiba Baggins! Not some block-headed Bracegirdle from Hardbottle.

Mentor Ji: You will tell him, won't you?

Billy: Yes, yes.

Mentor Ji: He's very fond of you.

Billy: I know. He'd probably come with me if I asked him. I think in his heart, Jayden's still in love with the Shire. The woods, the fields. Little rivers. I am old, Mentor Ji. I know I don't look it, but I'm beginning to feel it in my heart. (he starts to finger the Ring in his pocket. Mentor Ji notices this but keeps silent. Billy sits down and joins Mentor Ji at the table) I feel thin. Sort of stretched like butter scraped over too much bread. I need a holiday. A very long holiday. And I don't expect I shall return. In fact, I mean not to.

(Mentor Ji and Billy sit outside Bag End, each with a pipe in their mouth. They are looking at the field where the party is to be held, the tents are set up and lanterns are lighted as night approaches.)

Billy: Old Toby. The finest weed in the Southfarthing.

(Billy blows a ring of smoke. Mentor Ji smiles and blows a ship of smoke, sailing trough the smoke ring that Billy made)

Billy: Mentor Ji, my old friend this will be a night to remember.