Chapter Five

The First Day

The next morning, Meredith sat stiffly next to Hermione- who was reading one of Lockhart's many books- as the boys joined them. Meredith avoided their eyes pointedly, prepared to be as childish as needed to get them to apologise. She even gave Neville a sharp nudge when he started praising Harry and Ron again.

"The post should be here soon," said Neville, with a confused look at Meredith, "Gran's sending me some things I've forgotten."

It wasn't long before the owls swooped into the Great Hall. Meredith gave a quick glance for Hobgoblin, but he must have still been recovering from the stressful journey. Meredith would have to go and check on him soon- for all she knew he'd probably flown all the way back to New Forest to be with her mother.

Meredith had just raised her mug of tea to her mouth when a large, grey lump crashed into Hermione's jug, splashing everyone with milk and feathers. The large owl flopped lifelessly on the table. It was Errol, the Weasley's owl.

"Oh no-" gasped Ron.

"I don't think he's dead, Ron," Hermione said, as she gently poked the owl.

"It's not that- it's that!" Ron moaned, pointing at a red letter.

Meredith wasn't sure what the fuss was all about, it looked like a normal letter to her and she shared a confused look with Harry, who must have also been lost. Yet both Neville and Ron looked sick at the sight of it.

"What's the matter?" asked Harry.

"She's- she's sent me a howler," said Ron faintly.

"You'd best open it, Ron," said Neville timidly, "it's worse if you don't. My gran sent me one once and I ignored it and-" Neville gulped, "it was horrible."

"But what's a howler?" Meredith asked.

The letter had begun to smoke at the corners- Ron was watching it like it was a deadly snake waiting to strike.

"Open it," urged Neville, "it'll be over in a few minutes."

Ron reached over and picked it from Errol's beak. He slowly lifted the corners from the edges- Neville shoved his fingers into his ears. Which, once the letter opened, was a really good idea since it sounded like something had exploded in the Great Hall. The noise was so loud that it shook dust from the ceiling.

"... STEALING THE CAR, I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SURPRISED IF THEY'D EXPELLED YOU, YOU WAIT TILL I GET HOLD OF YOU, I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU STOPPED TO THINK WHAT YOUR FATHER AND I WENT THROUGH WHEN WE SAW IT HAD GONE…"

Mrs Weasley's yells, a hundred times louder than usual, caused the cutlery to shake across the table. Meredith wasn't the only one in the Great Hall captivated by the screaming letter- it seemed half the hall had turned in their seats to watch the spectacle.

"... LETTER FROM DUMBLEDORE LAST NIGHT, I THOUGHT YOUR FATHER WOULD DIE OF SHAME, WE DIDN'T BRING YOU UP TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS, YOU AND HARRY COULD BOTH HAVE DIED…"

Meredith watched Harry's ears go bright red as his name was mentioned. Although she had been looking forward to watching Percy yell at the two of them, this was undoubtedly a lot worse. Meredith wasn't enjoying this nearly as much- well, she did still find it a little enjoyable.

"... ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED, YOUR FATHER IS FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK, IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT AND IF YOU STEP ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME."

The silence was almost painful once the letter stopped. Meredith's ears were ringing and she gaped silently as the letter turned on itself and caught fire, falling to the table in ashes. Ron was pale, staring at the ash like it had told him a relative had just been trampled by a line of trolls doing the macarena.

A few students laughed around them and then turned back to their own conversations. For once it seemed that the students of Hogwarts weren't that interested in other people's business.

Meredith had wanted to laugh too, but the thought of Mr Weasley being in trouble at work had caused the small flicker of enjoyment she had had to die out into dark worry. She didn't even want to lecture Harry and Ron anymore. Hermione, on the other hand, just couldn't help herself.

"Well, I don't know what you expected, Ron, but you-"

"Don't tell me I deserved it, Hermione," snapped Ron.

Meredith patted Harry awkwardly on the shoulder as he pushed his food away. He seemed likely to get sick right then and there. She had no time to convince him that it would work out because just then Professor McGonagall was moving down the Gryffindor table handing out their class schedules.

"Double Herbology with the Hufflepuffs first," said Meredith, trying to distract the boys from their somber moods, "it could be worse!"

Ron shot her a look, as if to say he knew what she was trying, and it wasn't working.

The gang made their way across the grounds to the green houses where they'd meet the Hufflepuffs and Professor Sprout.

Hermione seemed happier now that the boys had gotten punished for their recklessness, and was happily chatting away about what she'd been reading in Lockhart's book that morning.

As if she had conjured him, he appeared following a disgruntled looking Professor Sprout. Her arms were filled with bandages and she had small cuts scattered around her forearms.

"Hello there!" said Lockhart cheerfully, "I was just showing Professor Sprout how to properly care for a damaged whomping willow-" Harry and Ron winced, "- now I don't want you thinking I'm better at Herbology than she is, I've just come across many exotic plants in my travels-"

"Greenhouse Three today, chaps!" said Professor Sprout, who had an uncharacteristic scowl on her usually cheerful face.

They had only ever worked in Greenhouse One before this, so Meredith excitedly made her way over to the new class- where there were going to be undoubtedly some more interesting and dangerous plants than Greenhouse One.

Meredith took a deep inhale of all the smells. She loved the Greenhouses. The smell of fertiliser and the mixture of exotic plants and damp soil. There was no greater smell on this planet, she thought. Then the clash of colours, so vibrant and beautiful, it was how she imagined the sound of an orchestra reaching its crescendo would look.

She was brought out of her moment of bliss by the sound of Harry sneaking up next to them. Lockhart had grabbed him before he could follow them and wanted to give him advice on how to properly achieve fame. Meredith sniggered into her hand at the look on Harry's face.

Professor Sprout cleared her throat and got all of their attention. She was standing behind a trestle bench in the middle of the greenhouse. About twenty pairs of different coloured ear muffs laid before her. Meredith eyed the bright pink ones with distaste.

"We'll be repotting Mandrakes today," she said, "now, who can tell me the properties of the mandrake?"

To no one's surprise, Hermione's hand shot straight up into the air.

"Mandrake, or Mandragora, is a powerful restorative," Hermione said, sounding as usual, as if she had swallowed the textbook. "It is used to turn people who have been transfigured or cursed, back to their original state."

"Excellent. Ten points to Gryffindor," said Sprout. "The Mandrake forms a vital part in most antidotes, but they are also very dangerous. Can anyone tell me why?"

Again, Hermione's hand was the first up in the air, narrowly missing knocking off Harry's glasses.

"The cry of the Mandrake is fatal to anyone who hears it," she said promptly.

"Precisely. Take another ten points," said Professor Sprout. "Now the Mandrakes we have are very young."

She pointed to a deep tray, filled with about a hundred plants with purplish green leaves. They looked very unremarkable to Meredith, who couldn't fathom how a plant could scream.

"It doesn't look particularly loud, does it?" she whispered to Harry, who snorted in response.

"Everyone take a pair of earmuffs," said Professor Sprout, giving Meredith a pointed look.

Oops, maybe she hadn't been as quiet as she thought.

The class rushed forward, trying desperately to not get the neon pink pair of earmuffs. Meredith's pair was dark green with light blue spots, the fluff tickled her fingers. They could have been worse. Neville got the bright pink pair, but he didn't seem to mind at all.

"When I tell you to put them on, make sure your ear is completely covered," Professor Sprout said, "When it is safe to remove them, I will give you a thumbs-up. Right- earmuffs on."

The earmuffs shut out sound completely and Meredith felt disoriented for a moment. Professor Sprout grabbed one of the plants at the base of its stem and gave a rough, controlled tug. Meredith gasped in delight.

Instead of roots, a small, muddy and extremely ugly baby was pulled from the earth. His skin was a mottled pale green and his face scrunched up in what seemed to be an extreme tantrum.

Professor Sprout quickly dumped the squealing baby into a larger pot and started piling soil and compost on top until all you could see again were the leaves. She gave them a thumbs-up and they all removed their earmuffs.

"As our Mandrakes are only seedlings, their scream won't kill you yet," she said this plainly, like all she'd done was water some begonias. "However, they will knock you out for several hours, and I'm sure none of you want to miss your first day back so make sure your earmuffs are on properly while you work. I will get your attention when it's time to pack up."

Meredith ventured away from her friends to get a closer look at what Sprout had done, she was joined by Neville, who beamed excitedly down at the plant.

"Four to a tray- there is a large supply of pots here- compost in the bags over there- and be careful of the Venomous Tentacula, it's teething," barked Professor Sprout.

Meredith turned back quickly to go join her friends but was annoyed and disappointed to see a curly haired Hufflepuff had taken her place. Harry shot her an apologetic look. Meredith huffed in annoyance.

"Sit with me," said Neville helpfully.

Meredith held in her aggravated response and instead smiled and followed him. He was just always there, wanting to help her or talk to her or just follow her around. She knew it wasn't very nice of her to find him this annoying but she couldn't help it- he never left her alone!

They were joined at their table by Dean and Seamus, who seemed more interested in slapping each other with their dragonhide gloves than doing any work.

Meredith securely put on her earmuffs, double checking both hers and Neville's before heading over to the tray of potted plants.

Funny thing about Mandrakes- they hate leaving the pot almost as much as they hate going into a new one. They kicked and punched and one even tried to bite Meredith through her glove. But in the end she found it to be satisfying work.

The time went too quickly and sooner than Meredith liked, she was reunited with Harry and headed back to the castle for a quick wash and then Transfiguration. Professor McGonagall was ruthless and jumped straight back into the lesson as if they hadn't just been away for weeks on their summer holidays. She had them turn beetles into buttons, which was nearly impossible since the beetles didn't stay still for longer than a few seconds at a time. No one was having a worse time than Ron though. He'd broken his wand when he and Harry had crashed the flying car and now it was hissing and puffing out a dark grey cloud that smelled horrendously like rotten eggs. The cloud was so thick that he was unable to see and he managed to smoosh his beetle underneath his elbow.

Ron's bad mood followed them all the way to lunch, where it was made worse when Hermione showed them her handful of buttons.

"How am I going to get through this year with that stupid wand," Ron moaned as they made their way to one of the courtyards for break.

"Can't you write back home for a new one?" asked Harry.

"Oh yeah that will go well," Ron said sarcastically, dropping his voice into an imitation of his mother's, " IT'S YOUR OWN FAULT YOUR WAND IS BROKEN, DON'T MAKE ME BRING YOU BACK HOME."

"What have we got this afternoon?" Meredith asked, hastily changing the subject.

"Defense Against the Dark Arts," said Hermione, pulling out her schedule.

"Why," demanded Ron, grabbing the schedule from Hermione, "have you circled all of Lockhart's classes in little hearts?"

Hermione snatched it back, flushing furiously- Meredith and Harry grinning to each other over her head.

They were all sitting on some steps outside, Meredith huddling under her coat from the overcast, windy weather, when they noticed someone was watching them closely.

Colin Creevey stood a few paces away, staring adamantly at Harry, his muggle camera clutched tightly in both his hands. He looked ready to burst with excitement.

"Who is that?" Harry asked.

"A first year in our house," Meredith said, waving him over, "come over here, Colin, why are you gaping at us like that?"

Colin zoomed over like a nervous, excitable puppy and went straight for Harry, ignoring the rest of them.

"All right, Harry? I'm- I'm Colin Creevey," he said breathlessly, "I'm in Gryffindor too. D'you think- would it be alright if- can I have a picture?" he said, raising the camera hopefully.

"A picture?" Harry repeated blankly.

"So I can prove I've met you," Colin said eagerly, edging closer to Harry. "I know everything about you. Everyone's told me. About how you survived when You Know Who tried to kill you and how he disappeared and everything and how you've still got a lightning scar on your forehead" (his eyes raked Harry's hairline) "and a boy in my dormitory said if I develop the film in the right potion, the pictures will move! It's brilliant here, isn't it? I never knew I was magic till I got the letter from Hogwarts. My dad's a milkman, he couldn't believe it either. So I'm taking loads of pictures for him and my brother. And I'd love to have one of you Harry- maybe your friends could take it and I could stand next to you? And then, could you sign it?"

"Signed photos? You're giving out signed photos, Potter?"

Draco's voice echoed across the courtyard. He was flanked by his two cronies and had snuck up behind Colin during his breathless speech. Ron jumped instantly to his feet, while Hermione and Meredith remained seated, pretending to be casual but really watching to see if Draco and his friends would pull out their wands. Meredith looked around hopefully for Pansy Parkinson, wanting to pay back her revenge.

"Everyone queue up!" Malfoy roared to the crowd. "Harry Potter's giving out signed photos!"

"No, I'm not." said Harry angrily, his back stiffening. "Shut up, Malfoy."

"You're just jealous," piped up Colin. Meredith groaned softly- he was not going oto helping the situation.

"Jealous?" said Malfoy who didn't need to shout anymore, half the courtyard was listening in. "Of what? I don't want a foul scar right across my head, thanks. I don't think getting your head cut open makes you that special, myself."

Malfoy's two thugs snickered, and Meredith finally joined Ron, mirroring their flanking positions.

"Eat slugs, Malfoy," said Ron angrily. Crabbe stopped laughing and started rubbing his boulder sized knuckles in a menacing way.

"Careful Weasley, you don't want to misbehave or your mummy will have to come fetch you," Malfoy sneered. He put on a shrill voice, "if you put one toe out of line…"

A knot of fifth year Slytherins nearby laughed loudly at this.

"Weasley would like a signed photo, Potter," Malfoy said, "it can help pay for his when his father loses his job-"

"How's your father, Malfoy," snarked Meredith, "since Mr Weasley put him in his place at the bookshop? Is his pointy rat nose sitting at an angle?"

Malfoy gave her a dirty look. "I'd be careful Prewett, Goyle isn't afraid to hurt a girl- he'd especially enjoy cursing a girl as ugly as you; he might do you some favours."

Ron whipped out his Spellotaped wand, but Hermione snapped shut her copy of Voyages With Vampires and whispered, "Look out!"

"What's all this? What's all this?" Gilderoy Lockhart was strutting towards them, his turquoise robes billowing behind him. "Who's giving out signed photos?"

He spotted Harry almost immediately.

He laughed charmingly, flashing his white teeth. "I should have known," he said, wrapping an arm around Harry, "Come on then Mr Creevey. A double portrait for you and we'll both sign it."

Meredith could barely stand to watch, her secondhand embarrassment making her want to follow after Malfoy, who had slid into the crowd with a smirk.

Lockhart started leading Harry down the corridor towards his class, and Meredith and her friends followed behind.

"That man has a few screws loose," Meredith said, Ron nodding his head in agreement.

"He's just enthusiastic," Hermione muttered.

"If that's what you think then you must have a few screws loose too," said Ron.

Meredith laughed as Hermione and Ron started to bicker in earnest. Luckily they stopped once they spotted a still red faced Harry already seated in the classroom. Hermione and Ron sat either side of him, while Meredith took a seat in front of him and turned back to face him.

"Mate you could've cooked an egg on your face," said Ron, "you better hope Creevey and Ginny never meet because there'll be a Harry Potter fan club within the week."

Meredith turned back to the front of the class when Lockhart strolled from behind his desk. Meredith was joined at her table by Lavender and Parvati.

Once the whole class was settled and quiet, Lockhart grabbed a copy of Travels with Trolls from Neville's desk. He held it up so they could all see his winking face on the cover.

"Me," he said dramatically, pausing for effect, "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honourary Member of the Dark Force Defence League and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming Smile Award- but I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at her!"

He waited for them to laugh; a few people smiled weakly.

"I'm happy to see you've all bought the full collection of my books. I thought we'd do a little pop quiz to see how well you've memorized them."

Hermione was bouncing in her seat with excitement. Only she'd be happy about a surprise like this. Lockhart handed out all of the quizzes.

"Let's say," he said, "thirty minutes before we hand those back in and I'll see how well you've done!"

Meredith looked down at the questions, confused. This must have been the most ridiculous quiz she'd ever seen. One of the questions even asked what Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour was. All of the questions had nothing to do with defending yourself against the dark arts and everything to do with Lockhart himself. There were fifty-four questions- and Meredith didn't know a single answer. So she did what anyone would have; she guessed all of it.

Once the half hour was up, Professor Lockhart collected their papers.

"Tut tut, hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac! I mention it in Year With A Yeti. You really need to read through Wanderings With Werewolves more closely- I clearly state that my ideal gift would be peace between all magical and non-magical folk- but I wouldn't say no to a bottle of Firewhiskey!"

He laughed charmingly, and gave them another roguish wink. Meredith turned around and saw the same astonished look on Ron's face, who blinked blankly at Lockhart. Hermione on the other hand was staring raptly at the Professor. She jumped when she heard her name.

"... but Miss Granger, she knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of all evil and market my range of hair-care potions- good girl! In fact-" he flipped the paper over "full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?"

Hermione raised a trembling hand.

"Excellent!" beamed Lockhart, "take ten points for Gryffindor! And so, to business…"

He leaned down and pulled a covered cage onto the table.

"Now- be warned! It is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizardkind! You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room! Know that no harm will befall you while I am in this room. All I ask is that you remain calm."

Meredith was sitting on the edge of her seat- no longer wanting to laugh. She was holding her breath along with the rest of the class. The only person who seemed less than keen was Neville, who was cowering in his seat- obviously regretting sitting in the front.

"I must ask you not to scream," Lockhart whispered dramatically, "it might provoke them."

He grabbed the top of the sheet and whipped it off with a flourish.

"Yes," he said proudly, "freshly caught cornish pixies."

Seamus Finnigan broke into outright laughter. Lockhart gave him a small glare.

"Yes?" he said, that smile still fixed on his face.

"Well," said Seamus, "they're not exactly deadly, are they?"

The pixies were electric blue and about eight inches high, with pointed faces and voices like a shrill whistle.

"Right then!" said Lockhart loudly. "Let's see what you make of them!"

He opened the cage.

The chaos erupted almost immediately. Two pixies smashed through the back window, shattering the glass over the students. The rest of them remained in the classroom causing havoc like no one had seen before. One pixie each grabbed Neville's ears and started lifting him into the air.

"Neville!" Meredith called out, leaping for his ankles.

Lockhart raised his wand and bellowed, "Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"

Nothing happened and the pixies continued their rampage. One pixie grabbed Lockhart's wand and threw it out of the window. Lockhart dived under his desk as Meredith managed to tug Neville free from the candelabra the pixies had put him on.

The bell rang and the students made a mad dash for the door. In the relative calm that followed, Lockhart straightened up and caught sight of Harry, Ron and Hermione. "Well, I'll ask the three of you to just nip the rest of the back of them into their cage." He swept past them, one nervous glance at Neville and Meredith still on the floor, and then promptly shut the door behind him.

"Merlin's sake, Neville," Meredith said crossly, still glaring at the shut door, "why is it always you, huh?"

Neville's ears and cheeks went red. "Well, I don't ask for it, do I!" he said back hotly.

Meredith pushed him back under a nearby table as the pixies darted over their heads.

"Can you believe him?" roared Ron, talking over the rest of them, swatting away a pixie that tried to bite his ear.

"He just wants us to get some hands-on experience, that's all," said Hermione, as she used a clever Freezing Charm to stop two pixies and shove them back into their cage.

"Hands-on?" said Harry, jumping to catch a teasing pixie that was floating out of reach. "He had no idea what he was doing, Hermione."

"Rubbish," said Hermione, "look at all those amazing things he's done…"

"He says he's done," Ron muttered.