an: hello hello thank you for the reviews im definitely using those suggestions!!
tw:abuse,sexual abuse, suicidal thoughts
SOPHOMORE YEAR
Santana POV
It's September, Brittany and I have been dating for two months now and I have to say she's the best girlfriend in the world.
She's always kissing my cheek and holding my hand in the hallway despite the looks we get from other students. Quinn is our number one supporter and she wasn't even surprised when we told her about us. Our least supporter well my dad. I mean it's been months since I came out and he still seems off about the whole thing. Mami says he'll "come around" but I doubt it. I still remember his reaction when I came out.
SUMMER
I'm pacing back and forth in my room as my parents watch me with curious eyes. I've never been this nervous before I don't even know howto start this.
"You guys love me no matter what right?" I just had to ask for reassurance.
"Mija of course that's not even a question." Mami said.
I nodded and took a deep breath. "Do you know how some girls like guys and some guys like girls. Then there are girls who like girls and guys then there's guys who likes girls and guys as well. Then..." I chance a look at them and they still seem to be confused.
"There are guys who only like guys and girls who...only like girls. I'm one of those girls." I don't look at them instead I stare at the floor.
Mami stands up and comes over to hug me. "Oh mija we still love you it doesn't matter who you like ok?" I smile and let out a breath of relief. I look over to my papi and he doesn't seem as enthusiastic as Mami.
He just cleared his throat "Are you sure?" And ok I didn't expect that.
Mami looks at him "Anthony."
"I'm just saying she's only 15 she doesn't know what she likes or not yet."
"Papi i always knew I liked girls this is just my first time telling you guys."
"No." He shakes his head. "You're just a child you don't know if you're..." he couldn't even finish his sentence and I would be lying if I said this didn't hurt like a bitch.
He sighed deeply and walked out. I sat on my bed as my tears fell. Mami came over to comfort me. "Just give him time he's just not used to this kind of thing."
She held me all that night as I sobbed. My dad was always my biggest supporter and just because of who I'm attract to he's changing that.
SOPHOMORE YEAR
I shake my head of the memories that night. He's gotten better and he told me he still loves me after like three months. Now lately I've only been caring about is Brittany, all the time. She's always on my mind no matter what.
Since being a cheerio I realized Quinn was completely wrong about all the mean ones being seniors because everyone on the team are...well they're bullies. I really don't want to stay apart of this but I'm only doing it for Brittany and she's only doing it for Quinn.
I'm at my locker when Ginny, a cheerio, came up to me. Ginny is possibly the biggest bitch of all and I hate her like a lot but I have to deal for now. She smiled at me "Hey Sanny." I hate when she calls me that. "I want you to throw this at that boy in the wheelchair." She handed me a slushee. The cheerios and the football team are known for throwing slushies at people but I never wanted to partake in that.
"Uh no." I said and she only smiled more.
"Look San we're cheerios and if you want to keep your rep you need to do this."
"Well I don't care about a stupid reput-"
"Brittany and Quinn did it." She cut me off. "If you dont you're off the team."
"Britt wouldn't do that, Quinn maybe but not Britt and that's not for you to decide."
She shrugged "Believe me or not I don't care but imagine getting kicked off and then you're getting the slushees thrown at your face." She said before walking away.
Fuck. "Wait I'll...I'll do it."
She turned back around and handed me the cup with a smile. "Go."
I took a deep breath and walked over to the boy. He looked up at me and immediately felt bad like this is really fucked up I mean he's in a wheelchair. I shrugged those thoughts away and threw the slushee on his face, I heard giggles from behind me and saw some other cheerios with Ginny.
Ginny laughed "Great job Santana. Oh and wheels class starts in like five minutes you better scoot fast. Hope it's not too slippery for you." She said and the other girls laughed.
I just walked away quickly with shame, I can't believe I just did that.
PRESENT
No ones POV
Santana was home alone while her brothers and her mom were in New York for the twins football tournament. She'd have went if she wasn't in so much pain.
Santana was on the couch icing her ribs because they were incredibly sore from the night before. Brittany wanted to see her at her house and talk about the whole Quinn situation but of course things got out of hand. She lied to her mother saying she was sore from gym class, so she let her stay home for the weekend.
Santana always wondered if Brittany would have a breaking point. If she would just stop one day and realize what she's doing. Would she see some therapist or something. Hell maybe Santana needed to see one herself.
She tried to drown herself in the tub last night after the fight with Brittany. Santana felt so at ease when she was under, like if she just drifts off into the black nothingness all of her problems would just...go away. But alas she couldn't go through with it.
She stood up holding the ice pack closer to her ribs as they stretched. She walked over into the kitchen and went to the knife collection. Santana's number one thoughts are always: "I could do it. It's so easy it can happen in a second." She took one of the smaller knives out. It was sharp, she'd seen enough movies to know exactly how to get it over with. She placed the flat side of the knife on her wrist feeling the cool metal was nice. Think of your family. Santana thought to herself. You don't want them to find you like this. The thought faded out like the end of an old song. She could barely hear it anymore.
Just as she was about to place the sharp part against her wrist the doorbell rung. Santana jumped and placed the knife back and walked over to the door.
She opened the door to see Quinn standing there. "Oh god not today Fabray." She said before trying to close the door but Quinn stopped it.
"Wait San I just want to talk."
Santana sighed and opened the door "About what Quinn? I cant do this right now." She desperately needed Quinn to leave since Brittany would be over soon.
"Please? Just give me ten minutes." Quinn pleaded.
Santana groaned and opened the door all the way to let her in. Quinn walked inside and actually got a close look at her ex-bestfriend. She looked tired and just...sad.
"What do you want?" Santana asked.
"Can we sit down?"
Santana nodded and made her way back to the couch trying not to wince at the pain she felt on her stomach.
Quinn took notice. "You ok?"
"Yeah just gym class made us do a lot yesterday." She lied before sitting down and placing the ice back on her ribs.
Quinn sat down beside her. "I know every time I bring this up it upsets you and you shut me out but I really just want to be sure."
Santana's heart rate picked up again. "I know what you're thinking Quinn and I can tell you that it's not true. Have you talked to Brittany? She'll tell you the same thing."
Quinn shook her head "I know for a fact Brittany wouldn't tell me the truth. Santana I know what she's doing, you can deny it all you want but I heard her."
"Exactly Quinn you heard her you didn't see her hurt me did you?"
"It doesn't matter, what matters is she is your girlfriend and she shouldn't be talking to you that way."
"Why do you even care about me and Britt?" Santana said annoyed. "No really because we haven't spoken, let alone look at each other in two years so how about you just fuck off."
"San I know we stopped being friends awhile ago but that doesn't mean I stopped caring about you." Quinn said and Santana eyed her curiously. "I-I mean you both, both of you."
The door bell rung and all of the blood drained from Santana's face. She quickly stood up ignoring the pain she was feeling. "Fuck. You gotta leave."
Quinn stood up. "Why? Is that your mom?"
"No Quinn just go out the back please." She said walking over to the door as there was a knock on it.
Quinn assumed it was Brittany from Santana's reaction. "No. I'm staying."
"Dammit Quinn go!"
"No."
There was another knock louder than before.
"Quinn I swear I will explain everything to you if you just leave right now!"
"Santana?" A voice called out from the other side. Quinn still hasn't moved and Santana groaned in frustration before opening the door.
Santana started explaining to Brittany before she got a word out. "Quinn came over to just t-to hangout a-and she doesn't want to l-leave."
Quinn watched the nervous girl then looked at Brittany who was glaring at her. Quinn was taken aback "What?" Quinn asked.
Brittany walked over to her "Why don't you just leave San alone?"
"Britt please." Santana begged. "She was just leaving now."
"Shut up." Brittany said and Santana listened. Quinn couldn't believe what she was seeing.
"What the fuck. Don't talk to her like that." Quinn said to her ex-best friend.
"Or what? You're gonna beat my ass Quinn?"
"No, but she's your girlfriend you should treat her with respect what the fuck is wrong with you?"
Brittany walked closer to Quinn but she didn't stagger, she wasn't scared of Brittany.
"You're right she's my girlfriend so how about you stay the hell away from her?" Brittany said in a low voice.
Santana held on to Brittanys arm, afraid she was going to hurt Quinn.
Quinn shook her head "You don't own her Brittany." She walked past them not wanting things to escalate since they were at Santana's house. She opened the door and walked out.
Part of Santana wished Quinn had stayed because she already knew what was coming next.
Brittany sighed and pushed Santana to the ground. "You fucking slut do you like her or something? Is that why she was here? Trying to get me back for Rachel?"
Santana shook her head quickly "No no of course n-not she just c-came over without t-telling me. I told her to l-leave but she didn't listen s-so I let her in." The girl whimpered.
Brittany grabbed her by her arm to pull her up. "You know she only cares about this because she likes you right? She probably just wants to fuck you since that's all you're good for. She doesn't care about you, no one cares about you." She said as she pulled Santana upstairs to her room.
When they went in she closed the door and pushed Santana on the bed. "You knew that already though right? You like the attention don't you? You fucking whore." Brittany grabbed her neck. "Well since you want to act like one I'll treat you like one."
Santana was already crying as she tried to get air. "B-Brittany please I d-didn't mean t-to."
Brittany smirked "Oh but you did. You think I'm dumb? Well guess what I'm not that naive girl I used to be." She pulled Santana off the bed and pushed her against the wall. "When does your mom get back?"
Santana could lie. She could just say today, but she hates lying to Brittany. "M-Monday." She was able to cough out. Brittany let go of her neck and stood back.
"Take off your clothes." Brittany said.
Santana shook her head "No p-please Britt a-anything b-but that please I'm sorry."
"I said take off your fucking clothes or I'll do it for you!" Brittany yelled at her.
Santana winced then started taking off her shirt with shaking hands. She had fresh bruises from the night before when Brittany kicked and punched her multiple times.
Brittany stood in front of her and moved some hair out of her face. "I love you Santana."
The words made Santana cry harder, they always do. "I l-love you too and o-only you."
"Good." She moved her hand from Santana's head down to her breast. She squeezed it and Santana whimpered in pain from the roughness. "I don't like doing this you know. All I ask is that you listen to me."
Santana just nodded.
"San."
"Y-yes?"
SOPHOMORE YEAR
"I said I love you." Brittany smiled shyly at the girl.
Santana stared at Brittany in shock and Brittany looked down. "I mean if you don't love me it's fine I'm not pressuring you or anything."
Santana didn't say anything she just took a step and captured Brittanys lips with her own. "I love you too."
Brittany smiled "Good cause that would've been pretty embarrassing."
Santana smiled and took the girls hands. "Brittany S. Pierce you are the biggest dork in the world, but you're my dork."
"Gag!" The girls heard their best friend Quinn say from behind them. "You two are gross."
"Ah is that a scent of homophobia I'm smelling?" Brittany said.
"Maybe it is maybe it isn't either way can we go, the concert starts in three hours and we need to get in early."
Santana rolled her eyes "What is it with you and beaver boy? He looks like an average white guy."
"I can't help how my lady parts act up when I see him."
"Oh my god!" Brittany said in horror and shook her head "No no mental pictures I'm gonna be sick!" She said before running out of the room.
Santana laughed "Yeah that's pretty gross Quinn."
Quinn shrugged "It got her out didn't it? Now let's go woman we have a show to catch!" She said before taking Santana's hand and running outside where Brittany was.
PRESENT
Santana remembered how easy things were back then. How they were all just 15 and living their lives the best they could. How she was genuinely happy.
Now here she was with Brittany in bed in pain physically and mentally. A girl who wouldn't ever hurt anyone, a girl who was always so bubbly and sweet, has just turned into this monster. Santana never knew what happened to make Brittany this way. She never had a death in the family, she wasn't abused, and she never had any mental issues. Santana only knows this because they were close and of course knew everything about each other. She's always wondered. She wishes she saw the signs early on.
SOPHOMORE YEAR
After that first slushee Santana threw, she threw more and more, mostly at the glee kids. She'd been pretty much brainwashed and was no longer the girl who felt bad about doing these things.
Soon Quinn, Santana, and Brittany became known as the unholy trinity. While Quinn and Santana were the mean girls, Brittany was still her sweet self though sometimes she would join in on their bullying. Most of the time it was just against Rachel aka man hands.
Santana walked hand in hand with Brittany, on the street after their date at breadstix. Usually she would be ranting on about unicorns or LT but she was pretty quiet the whole time and staring off into space.
"Britt?" Santana said quietly.
She looked up "Sorry I was just thinking." She took Santana's hand and smiled softly. "I'm here."
They talked about school and cherrios per usual. Afterwards they walked all the way to Santana's house and Brittany smiled. "I had a great time."
"Me too." Santana blushed.
Brittany leaned in and kissed her softly, Santana pulled her close and kissed her deeper. The door opened when the kiss started getting heated.
"I told you Diego! Sanny has cooties!" It was her twin brothers. Santana and Brittany broke apart and Brittany laughed at the boys while Santana sighed.
"Well as you can see I have to go now. Annoying brothers to attend to." Santana said rolling her eyes.
Brittany just smiled "They're adorable. I'll see you tomorrow baby." She said before kissing her cheek.
Santana smiled "Bye." Then she turned to her brothers and glared at them before walking inside.
PRESENT
Santana's POV
Why did I have to fall in love with her? I let her fool me, I was blinded and now there's nothing I can do about it. I can't believe she's jealous of Quinn as if that would ever happen.
I can tell Quinn really cares about me but not in the way Brittany thinks. I cant lie though the attention is...nice. I mean I don't show it but it actually makes me feel cared for knowing she worries about me. My family cares of course but it's not like they know what's going on.
Honestly, if they did know what Brittany was doing I would be out of this relationship and they'd probably hurt her...which is why I can never tell them. She hurts me all the time but I can't bear hurting her, it's complicated but it's just how I feel. I never want to hurt her and even though our relationship is the way it is now I would do anything to make her happy.
"San!"
I was shaken from my thoughts upon hearing Britts voice. I look up and I'm met with those blue eyes that once looked bright and innocent, now just cold.
She opened her mouth to say something when her phone rung. She took her phone out of her pocket and answered. "Hey...yeah..." She smirked "Of course...yeah nothing important." She looked at me. "Mhm I'll see you then." She hung up her phone. "I have to go now."
That smirk. That fucking smirk. I cant help but be jealous and asking "Who w-was that?"
"Why are you questioning me?" She said with a low voice. "Trust me you don't wanna know who it was anyway. I don't want to see you around Quinn again. If she comes to you, you go away I don't give a fuck if she follows you just ignore her. She wouldn't understand how we work, how we love each other right?"
I just looked away and nodded. "Yeah."
She kisses my cheek and left. I put my shirt back on thankful we didn't get far. I laid my head on my pillow and drifted off to sleep thinking about how things would be better if I was just gone.
sorry for the late update i hope you enjoyed
i know you guys are waiting for Quinn to do something and she will but it'll take a while
as always please review and leave constructive criticism!